
One and Only
The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
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Narrated by:
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Lauren Sandler
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By:
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Lauren Sandler
About this listen
Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
Between the recession, the stresses of modern life, and the ecological dangers ahead, there are increasing pressures on parents to think seriously about singletons. Sandler considers the unique ways that singletons thrive and why so many of their families are happier. One and Only examines these ideas, including what the rise of the single-child family means for our economies, our environment, and our freedom, leaving the listener "informed and sympathetic", writes Nora Krug in the Washington Post.
Through this journey, "Sandler delves deeply, thoughtfully, and often humorously into history, culture, politics, religion, race, economics, and of course, scientific research", writes Lori Gottlieb, The New York Times Book Review. At the end, Sandler has quite possibly cracked the code of happiness, demonstrating that having just one may be the way to resolve our countless struggles with adulthood in the modern age.
©2013 Lauren Sandler (P)2020 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Obvious parenting tips unrelated to Danes
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Incredible
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Thought Provoking
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Perhaps the thing that stuck with me the most is that in practically every single measurable way only children succeed at the same or higher rates than people with siblings. And the one main thing that the author seemed to readily admit was a challenge unique to onlies is that when their parents die they can experience a feeling of profound aloneness that is more acute than someone with close siblings. A feeling of being "the only one left". However the author went on to point out that death of a loved one is never easy, and even when surrounded by supportive loved ones (siblings or otherwise) there is often a feeling of emptiness and aloneness. It is part of the grieving process and not inherently problematic. And having siblings in no way guarantees that that feeling will be any different, as the strength of sibling relationships is about as easy to predict as the strength of any friendship [it's not].
While it is good to be aware of the effects being an only can have on an individual, ultimately it is completely up to the parents to decide what is right for THEM first and foremost. We make many sacrifies for our children. Choosing whether to bring a second child into the world should not be one of those sacrifices. It should not be done simply because we think we need to, because it's what's expected. This book helped me understand the full picture and ultimately I felt comfortable and now so thrilled and relieved to make the decision to be one and done.
Helped me feel more informed
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Data Driven
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Really Great!
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Empowering
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Too much negative talk about only children
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the author is disconnected from reality
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I am a mother to an only child, and was definitely looking forward to learning more about perspectives from an only child. It was a bummer as the book progressed, for a variety of reasons. It makes sense that the author would be biased, as we all are in different ways.
The author seemed like she has some really good points, with definite lack of insight for sure. She seems to maybe struggle with understanding people - who are exactly like her.
I really appreciate the author’s view in spots of the book, while also acknowledging her clear privileged & limited pov.
Hopefully in time more people will write about the only child experience, to add more voices from the valuable Singleton experience.
Overall rating: 2/5
Thank you
yikes girl
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