
Never Enough
When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It
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Narrated by:
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Jennifer Breheny Wallace
About this listen
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
The definitive book on the rise of “toxic achievement culture” overtaking our kids' and parents' lives, and a new framework for fighting back
In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools. Parents, educators, and community leaders are facing the same quandary: how can we teach our kids to strive towards excellence without crushing them?
In Never Enough, award-winning reporter Jennifer Breheny Wallace investigates the deep roots of toxic achievement culture, and finds out what we must do to fight back. Drawing on interviews with families, educators, and an original survey of nearly 6,000 parents, she exposes how the pressure to perform is not a matter of parental choice but baked in to our larger society and spurred by increasing income inequality and dwindling opportunities. As a result, children are increasingly absorbing the message that they have no value outside of their accomplishments, a message that is reinforced by the media and greater culture at large.
Through deep research and interviews with today’s leading child psychologists, Wallace shows what kids need from the adults in the room is not more pressure, but to feel like they matter, and have intrinsic self-worth not contingent upon external achievements. Parents and educators who adopt the language and values of mattering help children see themselves as a valuable contributor to a larger community. And in an ironic twist, kids who receive consistent feedback that they matter no matter what are more likely to have the resilience, self-confidence, and psychological security to thrive.
Packed with memorable stories and offering a powerful toolkit for positive change, Never Enough offers an urgent, humane view of the crisis plaguing today’s teens and a practical framework for how to help.
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Critic reviews
“This deeply reported book is a wake up call for all of us. Skyrocketing expectations and the unrelenting grind to achieve are doing immeasurable damage to an entire generation -- but as Jennifer Wallace persuasively argues, it doesn't have to be this way.” –Katie Couric
“Recently a sixteen-year old high school student asked me, “Is achievement the same as success?” I wish I could have handed her this book. Because if achievement is all you’re chasing, it will never be enough—but if you matter to your friends, family, and community, you’ll always feel like a success. Jennifer Breheny Wallace offers a much-needed perspective on why mattering matters most.” –Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit
“In Never Enough Jennifer Wallace takes up one of the toughest questions in all of parenting - How do we give kids every opportunity without asking too much of them? - and delivers clear, compassionate, actionable answers. Never Enough is more than a wise and practical parenting book - it’s a pathbreaking introduction to one of the most powerful ways to protect our children’s mental health: mattering.” –Lisa Damour, New York Times bestselling author of Untangled and Under Pressure
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Although human intelligence has evolved with every passing epoch, still the struggle to survive and achieve success continues to be the same. According to the author of I Am the Mind, Mr. Deep Trivedi, a pioneer in spiritual psychodynamics and a renowned author and speaker, every human being is destined to achieve 'Joy and Success', but they inevitably fail to achieve the same. Their ignorance, or lack of awareness of the functioning of the mind or the psychology behind it, leads them to falter and commit mistakes or blunders at times.
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Communication And
- By Murugesh R. on 01-18-24
By: Deep Trivedi
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A Mother's Guide to Raising Herself
- What Parenting Taught Me About Life, Faith, and Myself
- By: Sarah Bragg
- Narrated by: Sarah Bragg
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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For any mom who has ever felt inadequate, overwhelmed, or guilty in trying to balance it all, popular podcaster Sarah Bragg offers brilliant clarity and respite in this friendly manual for becoming your most authentic self, instead of just surviving motherhood. Nothing will make you grow up faster than trying to raise a kid. This is what popular podcast host and mom Sarah Bragg explores so beautifully as she encourages and equips moms who are discovering all the ways they still need to grow.
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Enjoyable
- By morgan slaughter on 03-26-23
By: Sarah Bragg
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Maybe It's You
- Cut the Crap. Face Your Fears. Love Your Life.
- By: Lauren Handel Zander
- Narrated by: Lauren Ruff, Lauren Handel Zander - introduction
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Maybe It's You picks up where You Are a Badass leaves off - this no-nonsense, practical manual to help listeners figure out not just what they want out of life, but how to actually get there. In Maybe It's You, life coach Lauren Handel Zander walks listeners through the innovative step-by-step process that has transformed the lives of tens of thousands of her clients, and explains how anyone can achieve amazing things when we stop lying and finally start keeping the promises we make to ourselves.
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Disappointing
- By Alex Hannig on 01-25-18
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Millionaire from the Heart
- How I Did It, How You Can Do It Too
- By: Anne-Claire Meret
- Narrated by: Anne-Claire Meret
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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To the wild hearts, anything is possible! It’s not either or, it’s both: heart choices and abundance. This book is about shifting and aligning our ways of being, our thinking, acting from our hearts and generating a lot of money with it.
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Such a good book ! MUST READ
- By Anonymous User on 01-19-24
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Napoleon Hill’s the Language of Thought: Leverage Your Thoughts to Achieve Your Desires
- Official Publication of the Napoleon Hill Foundation, Book 39
- By: Napoleon Hill
- Narrated by: Jeff Moon
- Length: 1 hr and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Napoleon Hill’s The Language of Thought is your guide to understanding, generating, and directing more powerful thoughts so that you can live and work with more intention, joy, and success. The single most powerful tool available to human beings is not money, physical strength, influence, or a network; it is the mind. Our thoughts determine our outcomes in life, as well as our ability to enjoy the journey. In order to harness our thoughts to create material success, we do not require any personal advantage such as wealth, connections, or education.
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The philosophy itself.
- By Noriel on 12-02-23
By: Napoleon Hill
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You Can Win
- By: Shiv Khera
- Narrated by: Susheel Kumar
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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A practical, common-sense guide that will lead you from ancient wisdom to modern-day thinking, You Can Win will help you to establish new goals, develop a renewed sense of purpose and generate fresh and exciting ideas about yourself and your future. Shiv Khera guarantees, as the title suggests, a lifetime of success. The audiobook enables you to translate positive thinking into attitude, ambition and action, all of which combine to give you the winning edge.
By: Shiv Khera
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Saved from Success
- How God Can Free You from Culture's Distortion of Family, Work, and the Good Life
- By: Dale Partridge
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby
- Length: 1 hr and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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When Dale Partridge's outwardly perfect life, marriage, and family were crumbling on the inside, he began questioning if culture's definition of success was something to seek after or to be saved from. What he found challenged everything he believed about "the good life" and equipped him to rebuild an even better life based on God's timeless design. Filled with scripture and practical application, Saved from Success is the book millions of burned-out and bedraggled Christians have been waiting for.
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Convicting and Inspiring
- By Betsy Gooch on 04-02-19
By: Dale Partridge
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The Secret of the Ages
- The Master Code to Abundance and Achievement
- By: Robert Collier
- Narrated by: Joel Fontinos
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Abridged
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Publisher Robert Collier taught millions of people how to achieve more, attain more, and live more-all by tapping the incredible faculties of the human mind. His leading book, The Secret of the Ages, is now available as an audio program.
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Religious Drivel
- By Kristina on 10-11-15
By: Robert Collier
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The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
- Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents
- By: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
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Only at introduction and…
- By Amy on 02-21-23
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When Less Becomes More
- Making Space for Slow, Simple, and Good
- By: Emily Ley
- Narrated by: Emily Ley
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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In her newest audiobook, best-selling author and founder of Simplified Emily Ley brings a revolutionary exploration of how to live a life of more in a world that often overwhelms to the point of burnout. Emily empathizes with listeners in the throes of exhaustion and provides tools for nourishing their spirits and achieving a life where less becomes more.
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Review by a Kidless, Single, Late-Twenties Atheist
- By dani5 on 11-20-19
By: Emily Ley
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How to Raise an Adult
- Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 12 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims draws on research; on conversations with admissions officers, educators, and employers; and on her own insights as a mother and as a student dean to highlight the ways in which overparenting harms children, their stressed-out parents, and society at large.
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Target Audience- Upper-Middle Class
- By Savy shopper on 06-02-16
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Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be
- An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania
- By: Frank Bruni
- Narrated by: Frank Bruni
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Over the last few decades, Americans have turned college admissions into a terrifying and occasionally devastating process, preceded by test prep, tutors, all sorts of stratagems, all kinds of rankings, and a conviction among too many young people that their futures will be determined and their worth established by which schools say yes and which say no.
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A relatable and relevant book for our time
- By M_BTV on 05-18-15
By: Frank Bruni
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Free Range Kids
- Giving Our Children the Freedom We Had Without Going Nuts with Worry
- By: Lenore Skenazy
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Lenore Skenazy called down a firestorm of controversy when she wrote a newspaper column about letting her nine-year-old ride alone on the New York City subway. In this plainspoken take on modern parenting, Skenazy offers a commonsense approach to letting kids be kids.
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Plenty to think about
- By C on 08-24-10
By: Lenore Skenazy
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How to Think Bigger: Aim Higher, Get More Motivated, and Accomplish Big Things
- By: Martin Meadows
- Narrated by: John Gagnepain
- Length: 1 hr and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you ever wondered what separates people who think bigger from people who set their bars low? What makes one person accept low standards and another person constantly raise them? What drives a person who's optimizing every single aspect of her life, and what causes another person to maintain the status quo? I found this topic so fascinating, I decided to find out the answer for myself and write a book about it.
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Should be required to read in high school
- By Timothy on 08-27-15
By: Martin Meadows
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What Smart Women Know
- By: Julia Sokol, Steven Carter
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 3 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Get smart about men and relationships with the help of this straightforward guide. Learn how to read that vitally important first date, how to tell the good guys from the bad, how to handle a breakup and after, and the 11 commandments for a smart woman.
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Awesome
- By H L Ward on 10-12-17
By: Julia Sokol, and others
What listeners say about Never Enough
Highly rated for:
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- ES
- 02-23-24
A book every worried parent needs to read
Can’t say enough about how much this book puts into words - in a wonderful conversational style filled with real people’s stories, expert advice, and research findings - so many of the stressors, worries, and difficulties so many teens and parents are going through right now. From subtle nuances, like when espousing the “growth mindset” can be harmful, to artful reframing and reminders, I enjoyed every single chapter and also thought the author did a wonderful job reading the book, like a helpful and generous friend passing on what she has learned over time. Love the message, love the focus on mattering. Thank you for writing this book.
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- vcapp
- 03-04-24
Great fresh topic to learn about for me
Very interesting and heartbreaking to think about but glad I came across this as my son is still in 9th grade. Really appreciated the piece on mattering and its importance and how to practice it.
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- M. Kern
- 08-22-24
The book this generation of parents need for themselves and their kids
As a practicing school psychologist, I can’t save enough positive things about this book. A breath of fresh air for families and permission to do the things that really matter most for their children’s long term happiness
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- Opinionman
- 04-20-25
Excellent for Parents
Well thought out, easy read. Anyone with kids should read this book. Learned so much! Thanks Jennifer!
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- familyof5
- 08-26-23
Convicting!
Thoughtful convicting research about the pressures our society and we as parents put on our children. A mental health crisis is growing, especially in high school age kids, with all the pressure they feel with social media, grades, club sports, college, etc. Jennifer offers advice on how to make our children know they matter without adding more pressure.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-15-23
Must Read
It’s a must read for parents, young adults and communities. Tell the people you love that you love them.
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- S.E.
- 08-25-23
Outstanding!
Grateful for the thoughtful advice, shared in such an easily consumable way within this book. I’ve taken away so many concepts and ideas that I am excited to implement in my own family. Mattering matters, and it was so nice to hear that portrayed in such thoughtful and inspiring ways!
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- Doris Vega
- 02-21-24
Very helpful
Interesting information about a real issue. Author provides useful suggestions to implement in our day to day lives
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- Jamie Djelosevic
- 05-21-24
Redefining success!
This book has changed my perspective on how I view my children’s daily lives and our interactions together. The book brought so much awareness to how we value achievement and accolades over well being and purpose in life. Success is redefined through the literature and the focus on mental health, purpose, and how we can make the world a better place is a relief! Thank you for writing, this book will remain in my library and I will listen to again when I need reminders what’s really important when raising happy and successful children who live with purpose and intentionality.
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- Pumpkins
- 09-27-23
A must read for parents, teachers, coaches, faculty and educators at elementary schools, high schools and colleges
Jennifer Breheny Wallace sends the message we all need to hear and be reminded of on regular basis. Her brilliantly conceived Mattering Movement is articulated throughout with relevant and poignant examples. This book is a tool on parenting, educating, and friendships. It is about adding value.
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