
Never Enough
When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It
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Narrated by:
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Jennifer Breheny Wallace
About this listen
AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
The definitive book on the rise of “toxic achievement culture” overtaking our kids' and parents' lives, and a new framework for fighting back
In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools. Parents, educators, and community leaders are facing the same quandary: how can we teach our kids to strive towards excellence without crushing them?
In Never Enough, award-winning reporter Jennifer Breheny Wallace investigates the deep roots of toxic achievement culture, and finds out what we must do to fight back. Drawing on interviews with families, educators, and an original survey of nearly 6,000 parents, she exposes how the pressure to perform is not a matter of parental choice but baked in to our larger society and spurred by increasing income inequality and dwindling opportunities. As a result, children are increasingly absorbing the message that they have no value outside of their accomplishments, a message that is reinforced by the media and greater culture at large.
Through deep research and interviews with today’s leading child psychologists, Wallace shows what kids need from the adults in the room is not more pressure, but to feel like they matter, and have intrinsic self-worth not contingent upon external achievements. Parents and educators who adopt the language and values of mattering help children see themselves as a valuable contributor to a larger community. And in an ironic twist, kids who receive consistent feedback that they matter no matter what are more likely to have the resilience, self-confidence, and psychological security to thrive.
Packed with memorable stories and offering a powerful toolkit for positive change, Never Enough offers an urgent, humane view of the crisis plaguing today’s teens and a practical framework for how to help.
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Critic reviews
“This deeply reported book is a wake up call for all of us. Skyrocketing expectations and the unrelenting grind to achieve are doing immeasurable damage to an entire generation -- but as Jennifer Wallace persuasively argues, it doesn't have to be this way.” –Katie Couric
“Recently a sixteen-year old high school student asked me, “Is achievement the same as success?” I wish I could have handed her this book. Because if achievement is all you’re chasing, it will never be enough—but if you matter to your friends, family, and community, you’ll always feel like a success. Jennifer Breheny Wallace offers a much-needed perspective on why mattering matters most.” –Angela Duckworth, New York Times bestselling author of Grit
“In Never Enough Jennifer Wallace takes up one of the toughest questions in all of parenting - How do we give kids every opportunity without asking too much of them? - and delivers clear, compassionate, actionable answers. Never Enough is more than a wise and practical parenting book - it’s a pathbreaking introduction to one of the most powerful ways to protect our children’s mental health: mattering.” –Lisa Damour, New York Times bestselling author of Untangled and Under Pressure
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Never Enough
- A Navy SEAL Commander on Living a Life of Excellence, Agility, and Meaning
- By: Mike Hayes
- Narrated by: Mike Hayes
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Mike Hayes has lived a lifetime of once-in-a-lifetime experiences. He has been held at gunpoint and threatened with execution. He’s jumped out of a building rigged to explode, helped amputate a teammate’s leg, and made countless split-second life-and-death decisions. He’s written countless emails to his family, telling them how much he loves them, just in case those were the last words of his they’d ever read. Outside of the SEALs, he’s run meetings in the White House Situation Room, negotiated international arms treaties, and developed high-impact corporate strategies.
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Team, Teammate, then Self
- By Christopher Brown on 02-12-21
By: Mike Hayes
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Where You Go Is Not Who You'll Be
- An Antidote to the College Admissions Mania
- By: Frank Bruni
- Narrated by: Frank Bruni
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Over the last few decades, Americans have turned college admissions into a terrifying and occasionally devastating process, preceded by test prep, tutors, all sorts of stratagems, all kinds of rankings, and a conviction among too many young people that their futures will be determined and their worth established by which schools say yes and which say no.
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A relatable and relevant book for our time
- By M_BTV on 05-18-15
By: Frank Bruni
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The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
- Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents
- By: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
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Only at introduction and…
- By Amy on 02-21-23
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Life Is Hard
- How Philosophy Can Help Us Find Our Way
- By: Kieran Setiya
- Narrated by: Kieran Setiya
- Length: 5 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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There is no cure for the human condition: life is hard. But Kieran Setiya believes philosophy can help. He offers us a map for navigating rough terrain, from personal trauma to the injustice and absurdity of the world.
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Solid
- By Jason Blum on 10-24-22
By: Kieran Setiya
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Middle School Superpowers
- Raising Resilient Tweens in Turbulent Times
- By: Phyllis L. Fagell
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Middle school can be one of the toughest times in a kid’s life—for them and for their parents and educators. It’s filled with transitions, upheaval, and brand-new experiences that can be overwhelming and intimidating. But licensed clinical professional counselor Phyllis Fagell has put together a practical, evidence-based, and compassionate guide for parents and educators to help their tweens through most challenging situations. Middle School Superpowers teaches middle schoolers how to activate the 12 superpowers they need to discover their strengths and navigate decisions and disappointment.
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Excellent for teachers AND parents
- By Anonymous User on 08-31-23
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Personality at Work
- The Drivers and Derailers of Leadership
- By: Ronald Warren
- Narrated by: Dave Clark
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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We all know that IQ, education, knowledge, and technical skills are essential for professionals, but they alone are insufficient for effective leadership. Who you are as a person - your personality and character - drives leadership performance and determines who thrives and who fails. In Personality at Work, psychologist Ron Warren lays out the key personality traits that drive high performance - and the common traits that derail it.
By: Ronald Warren
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The Joys of Compounding
- The Passionate Pursuit of Lifelong Learning (Heilbrunn Center for Graham & Dodd Investing Series)
- By: Gautam Baid
- Narrated by: P. Mathai Abraham
- Length: 17 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Value investing is not just a system for success in the market. It is also an intellectual toolkit for achieving a deeper understanding of the world. In The Joys of Compounding, the value investor Gautam Baid builds a holistic approach to value investing and philosophy from his wide-ranging reading, combining practical approaches, self-cultivation, and business wisdom. Distilling investment and life lessons into a comprehensive guide, Baid integrates the strategies and wisdom of preeminent figures whose teachings have stood the test of time.
By: Gautam Baid
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Think Big, Act Small
- How America's Best Performing Companies Keep the Start-up Spirit Alive
- By: Jason Jennings
- Narrated by: Jason Jennings
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Abridged
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Tradition says there are three ways to grow a company's revenue: fire up the sales team with empty promises, cut costs and downsize, or cook the books. But what if there's a better way, a way that nine amazingly profitable and well-run companies are already embracing.
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Great read, great content!
- By Jason DeLong on 07-30-21
By: Jason Jennings
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The Unfair Advantage
- How You Already Have What It Takes to Succeed
- By: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba
- Narrated by: Ash Ali, Hasan Kubba, Raj Ghatak
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the difference between a startup that makes it, and one that crashes and burns? Behind every story of success is an unfair advantage. But an Unfair Advantage is not just about your parents' wealth or who you know: Anyone can have one. An Unfair Advantage is the element that gives you an edge over your competition.
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Nothing new
- By Jessie on 07-11-23
By: Ash Ali, and others
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How to Grow Through What You Go Through
- Mental Maintenance for Modern Lives
- By: Jodie Cariss, Chance Marshall
- Narrated by: Jodie Cariss, Chance Marshall
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world which can sometimes be challenging, frightening, overwhelming and complex, it's not surprising that sometimes we don't feel okay. This is what makes us human, but so often we are tempted to push those difficult feelings away or distract ourselves. We reach for our phone, we switch on Netflix, we over-work...but when do we stop and think about how we are really doing? Psychotherapists Jodie Cariss and Chance Marshall, founders of the revolutionary practice Self Space, are passionate about the importance of 'mental maintenance'.
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The ultimate collections of suggestions
- By Jesse Xu on 07-07-22
By: Jodie Cariss, and others
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Attitude
- Vision, Change, Learning, Fear, & Boldness
- By: Adam Ashton, Adam Jones
- Narrated by: Adam Ashton, Adam Jones
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Life is unpredictable and full of things we can’t control. The only thing we can truly have power over is our attitude. We don’t always have a choice in what happens to us, but we always get to choose how we respond.
By: Adam Ashton, and others
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The Power of a Positive Mindset
- Transform Your Mind, Transform Your Life
- By: Jason Wolbers
- Narrated by: Jeffrey Machado
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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From author Jason Wolbers, a seasoned salesperson and successful business owner, this book is a treasure trove of practical success principles that resonate throughout. Embrace the boundless potential of your mind with the age-old wisdom echoed by Napoleon Hill: "Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve." Wolbers takes you down a path that taps into unlocked potential, urging you to explore the true capabilities of your mind.
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The power of mind set
- By Kindle Customer on 01-07-25
By: Jason Wolbers
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The Hidden Habits of Genius
- Beyond Talent, IQ, and Grit - Unlocking the Secrets of Greatness
- By: Craig Wright
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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What is genius? The word evokes iconic figures like Einstein, Beethoven, Picasso, and Steve Jobs, whose cultural contributions have irreversibly shaped society. Yet Beethoven could not multiply. Picasso couldn’t pass a fourth grade math test. And Jobs left high school with a 2.65 GPA. The Hidden Habits of Genius explores the meaning of this contested term, and the unexpected motivations of those we have dubbed "genius" throughout history, from Charles Darwin and Marie Curie to Leonardo Da Vinci and Andy Warhol to Toni Morrison and Elon Musk.
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Click-bait title, minimal substance inside
- By James S. on 11-27-20
By: Craig Wright
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The Price You Pay for College
- An Entirely New Roadmap for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make
- By: Ron Lieber
- Narrated by: Ron Lieber
- Length: 12 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Sending a teenager to a flagship state university for four years of on-campus living costs more than $100,000 in many parts of the United States. Meanwhile, many families of freshmen attending selective private colleges will spend triple - over $300,000. With the same passion, smarts, and humor that infuse his hugely popular personal finance column, Ron Lieber offers a much-needed roadmap to help families navigate this difficult and often confusing journey.
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College, one of the biggest financial decisions of life for many
- By D L Blanchard on 04-12-21
By: Ron Lieber
A book every worried parent needs to read
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The book this generation of parents need for themselves and their kids
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Excellent for Parents
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Convicting!
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Must Read
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Great fresh topic to learn about for me
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Outstanding!
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Very helpful
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Redefining success!
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A must read for parents, teachers, coaches, faculty and educators at elementary schools, high schools and colleges
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