Pretty Ugly
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Narrated by:
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Johanna Parker
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By:
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Kirker Butler
About this listen
After eight and a half years and 323 pageants, Miranda Miller has become the ultimate stage mother. Her mission in life is to see that her nine-year-old daughter, Bailey, continues to be one of the most successful child pageant contestants in the southern United States. Lately, though, that mission has become increasingly difficult. Bailey wants to retire and has been secretly binge eating to make herself "unpageantable".
But Miranda has a plan. She's seven months pregnant with her fourth child, a girl (thank God), and she is going to make damn sure this one is even more successful than Bailey.
Miranda's husband, Ray, however, doesn't have time for pageants. A full-time nurse, Ray spends his days at the hospital, where he has developed a habit of taking whatever pills happen to be lying around. His nights are spent working hospice and dealing with Courtney, the 17-year-old orphan granddaughter of one of his hospice patients who he has, regrettably, knocked up.
A bright new voice in satirical literature, Kirker Butler pulls no punches as he dissects our culture's current state of affairs. It's really funny, but it's also pretty ugly.
©2015 Kirker Butler (P)2015 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Venus Johnston has a great job and a long-term, live-in boyfriend who happens to be a drop-dead gorgeous doctor. She also has a weekly beauty-parlor date to keep her long, nappy hair slick and straight. But the tedious hours and harsh chemicals in the salon have long grated on Venus. One frustrating day, she trades in the long hair for a dramatically short, natural cut and sends her commitment-balking boyfriend packing. It's a bold declaration of independence and one that has effects she never could have imagined.
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Great
- By Laura K. on 08-21-09
By: Trisha R. Thomas
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The Wangs vs. the World
- By: Jade Chang
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 14 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Charles Wang is mad at America. A brash, lovable immigrant businessman who built a cosmetics empire and made a fortune, he's just been ruined by the financial crisis. Now all Charles wants is to get his kids safely stowed away so that he can go to China and attempt to reclaim his family's ancestral lands - and his pride. Outrageously funny and full of charm, The Wangs vs. the World is an entirely fresh look at what it means to belong in America - and how going from glorious riches to (still name-brand) rags brings one family together in a way money never could.
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Spectacular
- By Barbara on 10-11-16
By: Jade Chang
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The Smallest Part
- By: Amy Harmon
- Narrated by: Almarie Guerra
- Length: 12 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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It was a big lie. The biggest lie she’d ever told. It reverberated through her head as she said it, ringing eerily. “Are you in love with Noah, Mercedes?” Cora asked. “I mean...I know you love him. You’ve been friends forever. We all have. But are you in love with him?” If it had been anyone else - anyone - Mercedes would have stuck out her chest, folded her skinny arms, and let her feelings be known. She would have claimed him. But it was Cora. Brave, beautiful, broken Cora, and Cora loved Noah too. So Mercedes lied. And with that lie, she lost him.
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✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 09-03-18
By: Amy Harmon
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Diamond Life
- By: Aliya King
- Narrated by: Patricia R. Floyd
- Length: 14 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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A New York Times best-selling author and award-winning journalist with publishing credits in Essence and Vibe, Aliya S. King uses her experience covering celebrity culture to create juicy tales of sex, ambition, and betrayal. In Diamond Life, Alex Maxwell’s rapper husband, Birdie, sees his album go multiplatinum - but life in the spotlight might be too much for his marriage to withstand.
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Not impressed
- By Dream on 06-27-12
By: Aliya King
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Magnolia Wednesdays
- By: Wendy Wax
- Narrated by: Käthe Mazur
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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At 41, Vivian Armstrong Gray's life as an investigative journalist is crumbling. Humiliated after taking a bullet in her backside during an exposé, Vivi learns that she's pregnant, jobless, and very hormonal. This explains why she says "yes" to a dreadful job covering suburban living back home in Georgia, a column she must write incognito. Down South, it's her sister's ballroom dance studio that becomes her undercover spot where she learns about the local life - and where unexpected friendships develop.
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Painful. And not in a good way.
- By Kate on 01-24-13
By: Wendy Wax
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Pretty Much Screwed
- By: Jenna McCarthy
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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For Charlotte Crawford, the worst part about being dumped after 20 years of marriage is that her husband, Jack, doesn't want another woman; he just doesn't want her. Forty-two and clueless, Charlotte is a fish out of water in a dating pool teeming with losers. Just when she thinks she's finally put her failed marriage behind her, it comes back to bite her in the ass...hard. Without warning, Charlotte finds herself staring down the barrel of a future she wouldn't (she would totally) wish on her worst enemy.
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Meh
- By Miss Bishop on 10-31-16
By: Jenna McCarthy
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Rush
- A Novel
- By: Lisa Patton
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi, Bahni Turpin
- Length: 15 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Lilith Whitmore appoints recent empty-nester Wilda to the Rush Advisory Board and suggests their daughters, both incoming freshman, room together. It's all part of Lilith's plan to ensure her own daughter receives an Alpha Delt bid - no matter what. Cali Watkins possesses all the qualities sororities are looking for in a potential new member, but her resume lacks a vital ingredient: pedigree. And if anyone discovers the dark family secrets she's hiding, she'll be dropped from rush in an instant.
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WHOA! I loved this book.
- By Carol Johnson on 03-05-19
By: Lisa Patton
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Pushing Up Daisies
- By: Jamise L. Dames
- Narrated by: Cherise Booth
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Daisy Parker is Jasper's lover and mother to Jay, his nine-year-old son. But when Jasper doesn't come home one too many nights, Daisy decides she's had enough. But Jasper hasn't been partying; he's been murdered. In shock, Daisy is further devastated to learn that Jasper was married and has left everything to his wife. Now without a home or a job, Daisy must figure out a way to support herself and Jay. And when a sexy ex-boyfriend resurfaces, Daisy's life becomes even more complicated.
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Crazy!
- By AGB on 07-22-11
By: Jamise L. Dames
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The Life List
- A Novel
- By: Lori Nelson Spielman
- Narrated by: Rebecca Gibel
- Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Brett Bohlinger has forgotten all about the list of life goals she’d written as a naïve teenager. In fact, at 34, Brett seems to have it all—a plum job at her family’s multimillion-dollar company and a spacious loft with her irresistibly handsome boyfriend. But when her beloved mother, Elizabeth, passes away, Brett’s world is turned upside down. Rather than simply naming her daughter the new CEO of Bohlinger Cosmetics, Elizabeth’s will comes with one big stipulation: Brett must fulfill the list of childhood dreams she made so long ago.
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Truly Terrible.
- By Cricket on 04-27-14
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Nearly Normal
- Surviving the Wilderness, My Family and Myself
- By: Cea Sunrise Person
- Narrated by: Cea Sunrise Person
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In her best-selling memoir North of Normal, Cea wrote with grace about her unconventional childhood - her early years living in a tipi in Alberta with her pot-smoking, free-loving counterculture family. But her struggles do not end when she leaves her family at the age of 13 to become a model. Honest and daring, Nearly Normal reveals the many ways that Cea's unconventional childhood continues to reverberate through the years.
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This one is just not for me
- By Pamela Plimpton on 03-15-19
What listeners say about Pretty Ugly
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Julie
- 07-04-16
HA HA HA HA !!
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Very entertaining, and so very funny. I dont understand how anyone could give this a negative review. I dont know how anyone could dislike chocolate either, it just goes to show we are all individuals. I highly recomend this very tounge in cheek story of young children in beauty pageants, thier parents, and all the hoopla that goes with it. The narration was perfect.
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- L. McIntosh
- 01-14-16
Unexpected pleasure!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
I was not sure what I expected but the hilarity along the vein of authors Carl Hiasson and Tim Dorsey was a pleasant surprise! I Literally busted out laughing at quite a few scenes that were described in perfection with their absurdity. So glad to find this author that takes it to a new level!
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2 people found this helpful