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So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
- Narrated by: Retta
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
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Publisher's summary
This program is read by the author.
"This book feels like a real conversation. When we enter Retta's world we are at the best party and in the hands of a gracious, self-perceptive, and deeply hilarious host." (Amy Poehler)
In this hilarious audiobook essay collection, Parks and Recreation star Retta shares the stories that led to her success in Hollywood.
In So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know, Parks and Recreation star Retta takes us on her not-so-meteoric rise from roaches to riches (well, rich enough that she can buy $15,000 designer handbags yet scared enough to know she's always a heartbeat away from ramen with American cheese).
Throwing her hardworking Liberian parents through a loop, Retta abandons her plan to attend med school after graduating Duke University to move to Hollywood to star in her own sitcom - like her comedy heroes Lucille Ball and Roseanne.
Say what? Word. Turns out Retta might actually be on to something. After winning Comedy Central's stand-up competition, she should be ready for prime time - but a fear of success derails her biggest dream.
Whether reminiscing about her days as a contract chemist at GlaxoSmithKline, telling "dirty" jokes to Mormons, feeling like the odd man out on Parks, fending off racist trolls on Twitter, flirting with Michael Fassbender, or expertly stalking the cast of Hamilton, Retta's unique voice and refreshing honesty will make you laugh, cry, and laugh so hard you'll cry.
Her eponymous sitcom might not have happened yet, but by the end of So Close to Being the Sh*t, listeners will be rooting for Retta to be the next one-named wonder to take over your television. And she just might inspire you to reach for the stars, too.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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She Memes Well
- By: Quinta Brunson
- Narrated by: Quinta Brunson
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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From comedian Quinta Brunson (creator and star of Abbott Elementary) comes a deeply personal and funny collection of essays about trying to make it when you're struggling, the importance of staying true to your roots, and how she's redefined humor online. In her debut essay collection, Quinta applies her trademark humor and heart to discuss what it was like to go from a girl who loved the World Wide Web to a girl whose face launched a thousand memes. This special Audible edition includes never-before-heard details about the making of Abbott Elementary.
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That moment you know you’re a TEACHER…
- By chrissybrown on 09-19-22
By: Quinta Brunson
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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The Chris Farley Show
- A Biography in Three Acts
- By: Tom Farley, Tanner Colby
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, L. J. Ganser, Mark Boyett
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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The Diva Rules
- Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
- By: Michelle Visage
- Narrated by: Michelle Visage
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some!
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A Whole Lot of Nothing
- By teal on 04-29-16
By: Michelle Visage
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Off with My Head
- The Definitive Basic B*tch Handbook to Surviving Rock Bottom
- By: Stassi Schroeder
- Narrated by: Stassi Schroeder
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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The year 2020 was going to be the best year of Stassi’s life. Besides getting engaged and feeling like she was on top of the world career-wise, she bought her first house and was planning her dream Italian wedding. The future showed so much freaking promise—until it all went to hell. Stassi may not be perfect—she may have made some (major) mistakes—but she does feel like she has some insight (and plenty of hilarious tales) about getting knocked up, called out, and learning from what went wrong.
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Really Wanted to Like This, But...
- By Cathie on 08-09-23
By: Stassi Schroeder
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My Inappropriate Life
- Some Material Not Suitable for Small Children, Nuns, or Mature Adults
- By: Heather McDonald
- Narrated by: Heather McDonald
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
What listeners say about So Close to Being the Sh*t, Y'all Don't Even Know
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dawn A. Dais
- 06-04-18
Fun Listen
So relatable to my own childhood. I smiled through the entire listen, laughed out loud several times, and shouted, me too! a lot.
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- Lianri9
- 04-15-19
So sad it’s over!
LOOOOOOOOOOVED it! Retta is not only an amazing storyteller, she’s a hell of a performer - even on an audiobook. I laughed out loud more times than I can count, and by the end, I honestly felt like I was saying goodbye to a great friend. This is the first audiobook where I was genuinely sad it was over. I need more Retta in my life!
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- LAURA GOFF
- 09-24-18
Excellent!!! Loved it!
so much fun to listen to :) Retta is so authentic and hilarious. definitely recommend to everyone.
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- Rachel
- 08-29-18
Laugh out loud funny!
I love Retta so much after reading this! She is humble, hilarious, and knows her value. I was laughing so much - this book is definitely meant to be listened to. Love, love, love. If you enjoy BossyPants by Tina Fey, you will love this too!
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- Danesha S
- 05-21-19
Retta Retta RETTA!!!
I loved your book! I laughed out loud and feel like I know you better. Loved your Mom stories!!!
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- Jamillah N. Taylor
- 01-14-19
Funny Lady
Retta is an awesome storyteller. She had me in stitches the entire book. 5 Stars.
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- Alexandra
- 09-06-18
Love it!
Retta's book was really funny and honest. At times I wish there were more vulnerable stories because most of the chapters were funny. However, she's an awesome narrator and I loved it!
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- Pamika
- 07-25-18
unfoRETTAble
this story was freaking awesome. I loved Retta on parks and recs... to me she's been the shit
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- Mario
- 08-07-18
Such an entertaining book!
This made me love her even more. I loved hearing her history and struggles that made her into the fabulous person she is today! Can’t wait for the next one!
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- Jarvis
- 01-22-20
Retta IS the shit
LOVED IT!!! I WANT ALL MY AUDIOBOOKS READ BY RETTA!!! It was funny and heartfelt and her voice is so soothing to listen to. I felt like I was in the story next to her.
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