So When Are You Having Kids
The Definitive Guide for Those Who Aren’t Sure If, When, or How They Want to Become Parents
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Narrated by:
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Jordan Davidson
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By:
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Jordan Davidson
About this listen
As we expand our understanding of what “family” means, we need to change the way we think about having kids.
How much does it cost to have kids? How long can I wait? What if I have fertility issues? And, wait a minute… do I even want kids? If you’re unsure whether you want kids or struggling to decide, this book is for you.
So When Are You Having Kids? is not your parents’ parenting book, nor is it a how-to for getting pregnant. It’s a nonjudgmental, inclusive guidebook for women, men, gender-nonconforming people, same-sex couples, and prospective single parents who want to make an informed decision regarding if and how they bring children into the world. Combining research with over 100 compelling real-life stories, the resources in this book are as diverse as the generations they’re meant to serve.
With deep insight and empathy, Davidson explores:
- Ways to cope with familial and societal pressure to have children
- What makes a good parent, and the skills you need to be one
- The facts about infertility, adoption, fostering, and alternative methods of becoming a parent
- The real financial costs of having and raising kids
- How to move past fears related to pregnancy and childbirth
- The ethics and consequences of having kids in the face of climate change
- And, what it means to choose a child-free life for those who are unsure whether they want kids
So When Are You Having Kids? is a much-needed resource for family planning in the modern world, packed with the knowledge and tools you need to make one of the most important decisions—if not the most important decision—of your life.
©2022 Jordan Davidson (P)2022 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Davidson narrates her own work, delving deep into the reasons why and how people choose to have children by drawing on substantial information gleaned through interviews with straight, cis white men and women, as well as people of color and trans, nonbinary, and other queer individuals.… This is a much-needed book on how to decide to become a parent. Davidson handles the diversity of individuals and situations with tact and care.”—Library Journal
“Whether or not to become a parent is the biggest decision a person will ever make. Jordan’s book leaves no stone unturned in helping people consider their options and will undoubtedly help people feel more confident in pursuing whatever path is right for them.”—Ruby Warrington, bestselling author of Sober Curious and Women Without Kids
“It is rare for someone like me—disabled, queer, and childfree—to feel welcome in a book about having children, but Jordan Davidson’s debut made me right at home. If you’re deciding ‘if, when, and how’ to have children (or even if you’ve already made up your mind), Davidson’s text will arm you with empowering information and a steady, guiding voice. The rest, as she gently reminds readers, is (and always should be) up to us.”—Tessa Miller, New York Times editors’ choice author of What Doesn’t Kill You
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Microchimerism - interesting at first, then profoundly healing
- By Emily Virgil on 09-10-18
By: Angela Garbes
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The Feminine Mistake
- By: Leslie Bennetts
- Narrated by: Leslie Bennetts
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
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Women are constantly being told that it's simply too difficult to balance work and family, so if they don't really "have to" work, it's better for their families if they stay home. Not only is this untrue, Leslie Bennetts says, but the arguments in favor of stay-at-home motherhood fail to consider the surprising benefits of work and the unexpected toll of giving it up. It's time, she says, to get the message across: combining work and family really is the best choice for most women.
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couldn't get into it.
- By diana prince on 09-21-15
By: Leslie Bennetts
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The Sibling Effect
- What the Bonds among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us
- By: Jeffrey Kluger
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Nobody affects us as deeply as our brothers and sisters - not parents, not children, not friends. From the time we - and they - are born, our siblings are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to, how to conduct friendships and when to walk away.
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This is the only book I never finished
- By Rob on 06-25-12
By: Jeffrey Kluger
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Forget "Having It All"
- How America Messed Up Motherhood - and How to Fix It
- By: Amy Westervelt
- Narrated by: Amy Westervelt
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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In Forget "Having It All", Westervelt traces the roots of our modern expectations of mothers and motherhood back to extremist ideas held by the first Puritans who attempted to colonize America and examines how those ideals shifted - or didn't - through every generation since.
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A Thorough and Well-Researched Book on The "Mom Predicament"
- By Merle B on 04-10-19
By: Amy Westervelt
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Helping Your Child Grow up Whole
- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
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One and Only
- The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
- By: Lauren Sandler
- Narrated by: Lauren Sandler
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Lauren Sandler is an only child and the mother of one. After investigating what only children are really like and whether stopping at one child is an answer to reconciling motherhood and modernity, she learned a lot about herself - and a lot about our culture's assumptions. In this heartfelt work, Sandler legitimizes a discussion about the larger societal costs of having more than one.
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Data Driven
- By Meghan B on 01-11-22
By: Lauren Sandler
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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Beyond the Sling
- A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn't follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do - she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the "right" way to raise a child. That's when she turned to attachment parenting.
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Explains her style without condemning others
- By Mary on 03-28-12
By: Mayim Bialik
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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The Longevity Project
- Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight-Decade Study
- By: Howard S. Friedman, Leslie R. Martin
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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For years we have been told to make lists and obsessively monitor when we’re angry, what we eat, how much we worry, and how often we go to the gym. So why isn’t everyone healthy? Now based on the most extensive study of long life ever conducted The Longevity Project reveals what really matters across the long run—the personality traits, relationships, experiences, and career paths that naturally keep you vital.
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Good info to know about
- By Thomas on 11-10-11
By: Howard S. Friedman, and others
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All the Single Ladies
- Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation
- By: Rebecca Traister
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Rebecca Traister - introduction
- Length: 11 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a provocative, groundbreaking work, National Magazine Award finalist Rebecca Traister, "the most brilliant voice on feminism in this country" (Anne Lamott), traces the history of unmarried women in America who, through social, political, and economic means, have radically shaped our nation.
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Excellent book, destroyed by narration
- By Theresa Holleran on 03-06-16
By: Rebecca Traister
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It Never Goes Away
- Gender Transition at a Mature Age
- By: Dr. Anne L. Koch
- Narrated by: Dr. Anne L. Koch
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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If you are transgendered, the feeling of wanting your body to match the sex you feel you are never goes away. For some, though, especially those who grew up before trans people were widely out and advocating for equality, these feelings were often compartmentalized and rarely acted upon. Now that gender reassignment has become much more commonplace, many of these people may feel increasing pressure to finally undergo the procedures they have always secretly wanted.
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Typical upper class trans-snobbery
- By jon rios on 05-03-20
By: Dr. Anne L. Koch
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Your Turn
- How to Be an Adult
- By: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Narrated by: Julie Lythcott-Haims
- Length: 20 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What does it mean to be an adult? In the 20th century, psychologists came up with five markers of adulthood: finish your education, get a job, leave home, marry, and have children. Since then, every generation has been held to those same markers. Yet so much has changed about the world and living in it since that sequence was formulated. All of those markers are choices, and they’re all valid, but any one person’s choices along those lines do not make them more or less an adult.
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Not the book that was advertised
- By M. Rogers on 04-13-21
What listeners say about So When Are You Having Kids
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MFReviews
- 12-19-22
A Safe Space for All Feelings on Parenthood
This book was incredible. I stumbled across it on an Audible newsletter and snatched I up immediately. I bought both the audiobook and borrowed the ebook from the library and read concurrently. I loved the messaging and felt that this book created a safe space for my uncertainties that I haven’t been able to voice.
I may have walked away from this read more confused than ever, but at least I have more information available to me and a better idea of next steps depending on decisions I may make on the subject. I am so grateful to the author for compiling such a great piece that accounts for all possibilities while not pushing an agenda to sway the reader one way or another.
As a cisgender, straight, married, white woman, I shouldn’t even mention representation since I’m not the person who needs more of it in the subject. However, I feel the author did a great job representing all individuals who come to the parenting, childbearing/rearing, and pregnancy table and maintained neutral language throughout. I felt seen, and I hope everyone feels seen in this book.
Regarding the audiobook, the author/narrator had a great voice and did a brilliant job narrating. The standard narration speed though was quite slow for me, especially when paired with my reading along. I did ramp it up quite a bit.
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- AB
- 09-25-23
Excellent comprehensive book
This book answered practically every question I could ever have about if, when, and how to become a parent in todays world. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who is asking themselves similar questions. The author has such a kind tone and perspective and I loved all of the anecdotes she pulled in.
The first few sections are a must for everyone. From there, you could pick and choose which topics are most applicable to your situation (fertility treatments, adoption, choosing not to have kids.) I chose to read the entire book straight through and I can’t believe how much I learned.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-21-23
Disappointing
The authors reading is not very good. She sounds like a robot. And it’s pretty dry. I don’t think this provided any helpful insight into my decision.
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