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Teaching Snapping Turtles How to Chew Bubblegum
- Narrated by: Don Sobczak
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
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Publisher's summary
Trying to reason with a Republican (or Democrat) is like teaching a snapping turtle how to chew bubblegum. This conclusion birthed the title of my book. Teaching Snapping Turtles is an opinionated nonfiction book about American society in the 21st Century. The problem with politics is that both parties believe they're right. No matter what. Only the other person needs to change. The shell is a happy place.
Contemporary society is diseased. Violent. Corrupt. Many people sleepwalk and wade through life with no purpose. Gun violence continues unabated and unaddressed by our mercenary politicians. Wealth continues to be consolidated by the few; a sociopathic symptom of Capitalism.
Americans suffer from hunger pains of which they know not. A spiritual void pervades society - not a religious one, but a sense of purpose eludes the bulk of our populace. Buy and Consume are momentary reprieves that leave a person feeling empty. Teaching Snapping Turtles is merely a mirror of truth of the insane times we live in. Gun sales increase as tragedies grace the front pages. Unless we immediately change as a people then there will only be more Sandy Hooks.
The truth shouldn't always be pretty and polite. Truth can be vulgar. Jonathan Heatt questions everything Americans hold dear: guns, capitalism, religion, sports, violent movies... and highlights the harm these things are having on Humanity. Teaching Snapping Turtles is a big dose of penicillin for the entire country - a vital injection of reason that defies demographics.
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- By: Michael Savage
- Narrated by: Cameron Beierle
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Michael Savage's powerful, unmatched mix of razor-sharp wit and explosive socio-political commentary has made him into a cultural phenomenon, becoming not only one of America's most popular radio talk-show hosts, but also a best-selling author. This is his latest assault on the corrosive effects of liberalism on American culture.
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Still applies
- By gary lee johnson on 02-05-19
By: Michael Savage
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America: The Farewell Tour
- By: Chris Hedges
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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America, says Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter Chris Hedges, is convulsed by an array of pathologies that have arisen out of profound hopelessness, a bitter despair and a civil society that has ceased to function. The opioid crisis, the retreat into gambling to cope with economic distress, the pornification of culture, the rise of magical thinking, the celebration of sadism, hate, and plagues of suicides are the physical manifestations of a society that is being ravaged by corporate pillage and a failed democracy. All these ills presage a frightening reconfiguration of the nation and the planet.
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Terrible narrator for the book
- By H U Rehman on 10-01-18
By: Chris Hedges
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The United States of Absurdity
- Untold Stories from American History
- By: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds, Patton Oswalt - foreword
- Narrated by: Dave Anthony, Gareth Reynolds
- Length: 2 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The creators of the podcast The Dollop present profiles of the weird, outrageous, NSFW, and downright absurd tales from American history that you weren't taught in school. The United States of Absurdity presents short, informative, and hilarious stories of the most outlandish (but true) people, events, and more from United States history.
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Fun With Useless Facts
- By Keith on 05-21-17
By: Dave Anthony, and others
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Rick Mercer Final Report
- By: Rick Mercer
- Narrated by: Rick Mercer
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Mercer can always be relied on to provoke a strong reaction - but what he said one fall day in 2017 truly shocked Canada. In a rant posted on social media, the great Canadian satirist announced loud and clear that the 15th season of the Rick Mercer Report - the nation's best-watched and best-loved comedy show - would be the last. This volume brings together never-before-published rants from the last five seasons of the show, plus a selection of the very best rants from earlier years.
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Mercer Hits It Out Of The Ballpark
- By Wade Lancaster on 11-11-19
By: Rick Mercer
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A Personal Stand
- Observations and Opinions from a Freethinking Roughneck
- By: Trace Adkins
- Narrated by: Alan Sklar
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Country-music superstar Trace Adkins isn't exactly known for holding back whatâ¿¿s on his mind. And if the millions of albums he's sold are any indication, when Trace talks, people listen. Now, in A Personal Stand, Trace Adkins delivers his maverick manifesto on politics, personal responsibility, fame, parenting, being true to yourself, hard work, and the way things ought to be.
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Another Celebrity Story
- By Patricia B Tripoli on 01-13-09
By: Trace Adkins
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Hey Rube
- Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness
- By: Hunter S. Thompson
- Narrated by: Scott Sowers
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author and acclaimed Gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson is known for such groundbreaking works as Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. A provocative collection of rants and reflections from Thompson’s columns at ESPN.com, Hey Rube offers outrageously brilliant insight on topics ranging from the 2000 election to his unconventional take on professional sports (“eliminate the pitcher” to improve Major League Baseball).
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A bit of the best, a bit of the... not best.
- By m.w. on 08-03-12
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You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News
- Shocking but Utterly True Facts
- By: Cracked.com
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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You're going to wish you never got this audiobook. Some facts are too terrifying to teach in school. Unfortunately, Cracked.com is more than happy to fill you in. Think you're going to choose whether or not to buy this book? Scientists say your brain secretly makes all your decisions 10 seconds before you even know what they are.
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Buenas fabulas de humor
- By Cynthia on 10-27-14
By: Cracked.com
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Cunt (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Inga Muscio
- Narrated by: Inga Muscio
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In this fully revised anniversary edition of the classic testament to women's empowerment, Muscio explores with candidness and humor such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the "Cuntlovin' Ruler of Her Sexual Universe", Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing the provocative and celebrating womanhood.
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Best book ever
- By Paula Daniels on 07-28-19
By: Inga Muscio
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy
- By: Mike Huckabee
- Narrated by: Mike Huckabee
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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In Mike Huckabee's new book God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, he asks the question, "Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?" The New York Times best-selling author explores today's American culture, drawing from his travels as a presidential candidate to present average, small-town people and families, and their optimistic resilience in the face of hard times.
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Review
- By Dorothy Ella on 02-13-15
By: Mike Huckabee
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An Inconvenient Book
- Real Solutions to the World's Biggest Problems (Unabridged)
- By: Glenn Beck
- Narrated by: Glenn Beck
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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The world is a mess. It seems that everywhere listeners turn, there's another problem. What is needed now are solutions. If only there was a man who could simplify things, cut through the rhetoric, and fix everything. Then, if he was just able to put all of that insight into something that people could buy...in a store and online...man, that would great. Wait a minute!
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Waste of Time and Money
- By Crystal on 04-11-09
By: Glenn Beck
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Jonathan Pie
- Off the Record
- By: Jonathan Pie, Andrew Doyle, Tom Walker
- Narrated by: Jonathan Pie
- Length: 3 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Want to know more about history and politics? Then you should probably go and listen to a proper audiobook. Fancy a laugh at some smutty jokes? Then go and read Viz. But if you fancy a combination of the two, this is the audiobook for you. In Off the Record, bitter and twisted leftie news reporter Jonathan Pie picks 10 of the world's worst wankers and tears them apart. Here you'll find the answers to some difficult questions. With extra swearing.
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Jonathan Pie rocks!
- By vtindiegrrl on 08-05-24
By: Jonathan Pie, and others
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Paddle Your Own Canoe
- One Man's Fundamentals for Delicious Living
- By: Nick Offerman
- Narrated by: Nick Offerman
- Length: 10 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing a perfect moustache, grilling red meat, wooing a woman - who better to deliver this tutelage than the always charming, always manly Nick Offerman, best known as Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson? Combining his trademark comic voice and very real expertise in woodworking - he runs his own woodshop - Paddle Your Own Canoe features tales from Offerman's childhood in small-town Minooka, Illinois, to his theater days in Chicago, beginnings as a carpenter/actor and the hilarious and magnificent seduction of his now-wife Megan Mullally.
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On the need to acknowledge the role luck plays
- By OpenMindedNotCredulous on 11-17-13
By: Nick Offerman
What listeners say about Teaching Snapping Turtles How to Chew Bubblegum
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Janalyn
- 07-29-19
Warning Warning!
I must warn millennials and those Who are offended by that hard language and talk of sex. Oh yes and those allergic to truth and logic.
Now on to the review. Jonathan Heath tackles age old issues and the new problems with honesty and wit that a logical person would find it hard to disagree with.
TeachingSnapping Turtles How To Chew BubblegumIs a dissertation that no one escapes scrutiny. Not Democrats Republicans black people white people Indians Middle Eastern people everyone is fair game and is fairly assessed by Jonathan heat. I recommend this book to those who are fond of political commentary and not your average smokescreen and mirrors. I would love it if this book was in the college curriculum for all children who are soon to be adults to read and learn from. Although I don’t at all agree with his opinions on religion… I’m sorry not religion God I don’t think God is superstition as God is real. In any event that is what makes America so great we can all have different opinions and still live together. Read this book! I loved it!
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