The Adoptive Parents' Handbook
A Guide to Healing Trauma and Thriving with Your Foster or Adopted Child
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Narrated by:
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Janina Edwards
About this listen
The essential guide to parenting adopted and foster kids - learn to create felt safety, heal attachment trauma, and navigate challenging behaviors and triggers.
Children who have been adopted and/or shuttled through the foster-care system experience trauma at a much higher rate than other kids, which can make it difficult for them to trust, relax, regulate their emotions, and connect with their new families. As a parent, learning how to heal attachment trauma, attune to your child's needs, identify triggers, and create felt safety is essential to providing the loving, supportive, and stable home they need to thrive.
Written for parents of adopted and foster kids of all ages, this book offers resources for handling common concerns like sleep issues, food sensitivities, anger, fear, and reactivity. It also provides guidance on navigating transracial adoptions, working through parents' own hang-ups, and recognizing signs of developmental and psychological conditions. The book highlights practical strategies and provides real-life examples to address questions like:
- How do I help my adopted child adjust?
- Is this kind of behavior "normal"?
- How do I help my child live, heal, and thrive with PTSD?
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
“This book answers so many of the questions I didn’t know how to ask as a foster and adoptive parent.... [It is a] book parents will turn to again and again.” (Sherry Colomb, child welfare trainer and foster and adoptive parent)
“As I read this wise, well-researched and well-lived book, I could feel my heart clouded by the complexity, heartache, and confusion parents feel when one of their children has known significant trauma.... After I finished reading, I understood why there is rich hope and joy for those who embrace this privilege.” (Dan B. Allender, PhD, professor of counseling psychology and founding president of the Seattle School of Theology and Psychology and author of The Healing Path and Healing the Wounded Heart)
“Tantrum has written a must-read handbook for parents who are considering or are currently in the throes of the adoption experience. It is a wonderful mix of personal and professional information necessary for a successful adoption journey.” (Cynthia Ridgway, licensed mental health counselor and adoption and trauma specialist)
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- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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It's OK to Go up the Slide
- Renegade Rules for Raising Confident and Creative Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Heather Shumaker has sparked much discussion with her "renegade rules for raising competent and compassionate kids". In this follow-up book, she takes on new hot-button issues like banning homework, technology use, and skipping kindergarten. Shumaker offers broader guidance on how parents can control their own anger and move from an overscheduled life to one of more free play.
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Amazing resource for parents and teachers
- By Ahmed on 05-11-16
By: Heather Shumaker
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When Your Kid Is Hurting
- Helping Your Child Through the Tough Days
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Jon Gauger
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Children today live in an unpredictable, disruptive, and often violent world. Many of them live in two different homes with different sets of expectations. They face bullying at school and online. They hear news of school shootings, and racially or religiously motivated violence. They may have lost a friend or a loved one. As parents, the impulse to protect our children is strong, but that very protection can end up handicapping them for life. Rather than seek to save them from the hard things, parents must teach their kids how to cope with and rise above their problems.
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So helpful for so many situations
- By Natalie on 10-03-18
By: Kevin Leman
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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Social Justice Parenting
- How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-Racist, Justice-Minded Kids in an Unjust World
- By: Traci Baxley
- Narrated by: Traci Baxley
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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As a global pandemic shuttered schools across the country in 2020, parents found themselves thrust into the role of teacher — in more ways than one. Not only did they take on remote school supervision, but after the murder of George Floyd and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, many also grappled with the responsibility to teach their kids about social justice — with few resources to guide them.
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Inspiring, motivating, practical
- By Heather Janetzko on 03-18-24
By: Traci Baxley
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The Gentle Sleep Book
- For Calm Babies, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers
- By: Sarah Ockwell-Smith
- Narrated by: Katy Sobey
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gentle Sleep Book offers gentle, no-tears sleep solutions for exhausted parents of newborns to five-year-olds. A large percentage of parents find their young children's sleep - or lack of - challenging. This new audiobook from Sarah Ockwell-Smith, founder of BabyCalm, will be an indispensable guide for parents, whatever challenges they are facing with their child's sleep - from the day they bring their newborn home until their child is settled in at school.
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It's fine but not much about 2-4 years
- By Patrick on 02-12-18
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Teach Your Children Well
- Parenting for Authentic Success
- By: Madeline Levine PhD
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the plight of America's children and teens - soaring rates of emotional problems, limited coping skills, disengagement from learning - and yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Teach Your Children Well acknowledges that every parent wants successful children. However, until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, impaired children.
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I wish this book had been published years ago
- By AvidReader on 09-07-12
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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Beyond the Sling
- A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn't follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do - she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the "right" way to raise a child. That's when she turned to attachment parenting.
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Explains her style without condemning others
- By Mary on 03-28-12
By: Mayim Bialik
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
- By stephen blackwell on 07-19-24
By: Sherrie Eldridge
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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Simplicity Parenting
- Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids
- By: Kim John Payne, Lisa M. Ross
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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From internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne comes an eloquent guide that seeks to help parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their individuality to flourish.
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A worthwhile listen for new parents
- By Kathy K on 07-30-12
By: Kim John Payne, and others
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
- By stephen blackwell on 07-19-24
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Adoption Unfiltered
- Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies
- By: Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, Lori Holden, and others
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Healing isn't possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts—starting with adoption's central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren't the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents.
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A must read / listen for any prospective adoptive parents
- By Mandy G. on 05-08-24
By: Sara Easterly, and others
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The Connected Parent
- Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
- By: Lisa Qualls, Karyn Purvis PhD
- Narrated by: Lisa Qualls
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
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Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
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An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
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Parenting Children of Trauma
- The Foster-Adoption Guide to Understanding Attachment Disorder
- By: Marcy Pusey
- Narrated by: Dana DiAngelo
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
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Many foster and adoptive parents are raising children with complex emotional trauma, desperate for answers to heal their families. Caught off guard, these families find themselves with shattered dreams, shattered homes, and shattered hearts, with nowhere to turn for answers. Extended family members, friends, and the greater community don't understand the challenges and can, sometimes, add to the problems these families face, prolonging the healing process for all.
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religious and designed to terrify
- By heather frady on 04-01-23
By: Marcy Pusey
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Securely Attached
- How Understanding Childhood Trauma Will Transform Your Parenting. A Handbook for Adoptive and Foster Parents
- By: Kristin Berry, Mike Berry
- Narrated by: Michael Berry, Kristin Berry
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
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Performance
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Just as you prepared your home to welcome a new child, it is important to prepare your heart and mind - especially if the child has suffered from a background of trauma. Perhaps your invitation for love is met with hostility and you find that this new member of your family rejects connection. It’s critical to acknowledge the effects of trauma on a child’s ability to attach. Mike and Kristin Berry realized this when they became adoptive and foster parents. They now offer guidance from their own journey to others parenting a child who has experienced past trauma.
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This has some very insightful information
- By Valerie on 08-16-23
By: Kristin Berry, and others
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20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed
- Discover the Secrets to Understanding the Unique Needs of Your Adopted Child - and Becoming the Best Parent You Can Be
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
In her groundbreaking first book, 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope.
By: Sherrie Eldridge
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
-
-
The glass is half empty.
- By stephen blackwell on 07-19-24
By: Sherrie Eldridge
-
Adoption Unfiltered
- Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies
- By: Sara Easterly, Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, Lori Holden, and others
- Narrated by: Sara Easterly
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Healing isn't possible, though, without first uncovering the hurts—starting with adoption's central players: adoptees, who are so often in pain, suffering from what the latest brain science validates as the long-term emotional effects of separation trauma. By encouraging others to vulnerably share their stories, the authors discover that adoptees aren't the only ones in the adoption constellation who are hurting. Birth parents regularly shut down after being shut out by adoptive parents.
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-
A must read / listen for any prospective adoptive parents
- By Mandy G. on 05-08-24
By: Sara Easterly, and others
-
The Connected Parent
- Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment
- By: Lisa Qualls, Karyn Purvis PhD
- Narrated by: Lisa Qualls
- Length: 4 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Renowned child-development expert Dr. Karyn Purvis gives you practical advice and powerful tools you can use to encourage secure attachment in your family. You will benefit from Karyn’s decades of clinical research and real-world experience. Coauthor Lisa Qualls demonstrates how you can successfully implement these strategies in your home, just as she did in hers. You will learn how to simplify your approach using scripts, nurture your child, combat chronic fear, teach respect, and develop other valuable tools to facilitate a healing connection with your child.
-
-
An holistic approach to relational health
- By K & J on 02-11-23
By: Lisa Qualls, and others
-
Parenting Children of Trauma
- The Foster-Adoption Guide to Understanding Attachment Disorder
- By: Marcy Pusey
- Narrated by: Dana DiAngelo
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Many foster and adoptive parents are raising children with complex emotional trauma, desperate for answers to heal their families. Caught off guard, these families find themselves with shattered dreams, shattered homes, and shattered hearts, with nowhere to turn for answers. Extended family members, friends, and the greater community don't understand the challenges and can, sometimes, add to the problems these families face, prolonging the healing process for all.
-
-
religious and designed to terrify
- By heather frady on 04-01-23
By: Marcy Pusey
-
Securely Attached
- How Understanding Childhood Trauma Will Transform Your Parenting. A Handbook for Adoptive and Foster Parents
- By: Kristin Berry, Mike Berry
- Narrated by: Michael Berry, Kristin Berry
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just as you prepared your home to welcome a new child, it is important to prepare your heart and mind - especially if the child has suffered from a background of trauma. Perhaps your invitation for love is met with hostility and you find that this new member of your family rejects connection. It’s critical to acknowledge the effects of trauma on a child’s ability to attach. Mike and Kristin Berry realized this when they became adoptive and foster parents. They now offer guidance from their own journey to others parenting a child who has experienced past trauma.
-
-
This has some very insightful information
- By Valerie on 08-16-23
By: Kristin Berry, and others
-
20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed
- Discover the Secrets to Understanding the Unique Needs of Your Adopted Child - and Becoming the Best Parent You Can Be
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In her groundbreaking first book, 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, Sherrie Eldridge gave voice to the very real concerns of adopted children, whose unique perspectives offered unprecedented insight. In this all-new companion volume, Eldridge goes beyond those insights and shifts her focus to parents, offering them much-needed encouragement and hope.
By: Sherrie Eldridge
What listeners say about The Adoptive Parents' Handbook
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kelly
- 08-16-21
So helpful!
This book is full of ah-hah moments. The author shares personal stories and experience, which is also helpful.
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- Kimberly Yaeger
- 11-16-23
Just what I have been looking for!
Thank you so much! This was just the information I needed. I am the guardian of my grandson. I have been made to feel, even by his therapists, that my grandson is fine, and only needs to work on separating from me, he has extreme separation anxiety. But the first 6 months of his life he was neglected and lived in a very violent home. I have read The Body Keeps The Score so I understand that trauma even as an infant has an impact on development and wellbeing. He also has all the behavior issues of a child with PTSD. Your book gave me very practical strategies I was able to start today. Scented lotion works magic for him, thank you! I feel so much more equipped to care for him now. I have been wondering if I should find him a different therapist now I know I should. I will be looking for a different therapist who understands trauma better. Thank you!
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- Alexandra Borman
- 11-16-21
Highly Recommend!!!
My husband & I are in the licensing process to become foster parents. I've been reading/listening to a lot of books in preparation because the state training materials are not nearly enough. This book was very helpful and informative. Most of the other books that I've finished were around 6 hours, this book was around 10 hours and worth every extra minute!! Barbara Tantrum highlighted important topics and designated entire chapters to things that other books left out or barely touched on. I really like how she reccomend books you should read & also books to avoid. I think this book is a must read!! Other books I highly recommend are: (1) The Whole Brain Child, (2) No Drama Discipline & (3) The Connected Parent. I also finished "The Connected Child" but I liked the newer "parent" one a lot more & it pretty much covered all the same stuff.
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- Jamie
- 06-24-21
Not just for adoptive families
This book was incredibly helpful my stepson has experienced a number of Trumatic events prior to coming to live with us full-time and this book provided an extensive amount of insight despite that we are not an adoptive family and my husband who is his biological father has been involved in his life since birth
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