
The Cow in the Parking Lot
A Zen Approach to Overcoming Anger
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Narrated by:
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Bill Mendieta
About this listen
Imagine you're circling a crowded parking lot. Just as you spot a space, another driver races ahead and takes it. In a world of road rage, domestic violence, and professionally angry TV and radio commentators, your likely response is anger, even fury. Now imagine that instead of another driver, a cow has lumbered into that parking space and settled down. Your anger dissolves into bemusement. What has changed? Not just the occupant of the space but your perspective on the situation.
We're a society swimming in anger, always about to snap. Using simple, understandable Buddhist principles, Scheff and Edmiston explain how to replace anger with happiness. They introduce the four most common types of anger (Important and Reasonable, Reasonable but Unimportant, Irrational, and Impossible), then show how to identify our real unmet demands, dissolve our anger, and change what happens when our buttons are pushed. We learn to laugh at ourselves, a powerful early step, and realize that others don't make us angry. Only we can make ourselves angry.
©2010 Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston (P)2010 HighBridge CompanyListeners also enjoyed...
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Do you or someone you care about experience episodes of extreme and unpredictable anger? The first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. Researchers estimate that some seven percent of Americans may at some time experience a condition called intermittent explosive disorder (IED), which is characterized by reoccurring periods of extraordinary anger, and millions more have less frequent yet equally damaging experiences with rage. The second thing you need to know is that there is help.
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Christian propaganda alert!
- By Charles A Ray on 06-27-19
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Don't Bite the Hook
- Finding Freedom from Anger, Resentment, and Other Destructive Emotions
- By: Pema Chodron
- Narrated by: Pema Chodron
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Life has a way of provoking us with traffic jams and computer malfunctions, with emotionally distant partners and crying children—and before we know it, we're upset. We feel terrible, and then we end up saying and doing things that only make matters worse. But it doesn't have to be that way, says Pema Chödrön. It is possible to relate constructively to the inevitable shocks, losses, and frustrations of life so that we can find true happiness. The key, Pema explains, is not biting the "hook" of our habitual responses.
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Useful and practical, but extreme and illogical
- By Eduard Georgiev on 06-01-20
By: Pema Chodron
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Unf*ck Your Anger
- Using Science to Understand Frustration, Rage, and Forgiveness
- By: Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 2 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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If you’ve ever been so pissed off that you did things that you regretted, or ruined your own day and some other people’s, too, this book is for you. Or if you feel angry every single day and it’s affecting your health and sleep and love of life. Or if you have very good reasons to be mad as hell, and you aren’t going to take it anymore. Or if you’ve repressed your anger all your life and now it’s all coming out at once.
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Good exept the social justice/ white guilt part.
- By Cwaiter on 11-13-20
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Taming the Tiger Within
- By: Thich Nhat Hanh, Pritam Singh
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Grounded in the Buddhist practices of mindfulness and compassion, Taming the Tiger Within is an audio handbook of meditations, analogies, and reflections that offer pragmatic techniques for diffusing anger, converting fear, and cultivating love in every arena of life - a wise and exquisite guide for bringing harmony and healing to one's life and relationships.
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Narrator Issues
- By amanda on 08-12-18
By: Thich Nhat Hanh, and others
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The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anger
- A Step-by-Step Program for Success
- By: William J. Knaus EdD, Robert Alberti PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Andrew Joseph Perez
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Anger is everywhere - and it has real risks, including heart disease and depression. So, how can you break free from painful, self-defeating, and dangerous anger traps? Drawing on the gold standard treatment for anger-cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) - and informed by the no-nonsense approach of rational emotive behavior therapy (REBT) - this workbook is chock-full of powerful tools, exercises, and self-assessments to help you overcome destructive anger, once and for all.
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Great info! A bit dull in presentation but would recommend!
- By Kevin on 01-14-23
By: William J. Knaus EdD, and others
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How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons
- By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., Arthur Lange Ed.D., Kristene A. Doyle - foreword Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), created by world-renowned therapist Dr. Albert Ellis, provides you with realistic, simple, proven techniques that will significantly reduce your stress levels and help you react effectively, whether the circumstances are professional or personal.
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Watch out for self-inflicted button pushing
- By Marcheta on 02-15-17
By: Albert Ellis Ph.D., and others
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Mindfulness for Anger Management
- Transformative Skills for Overcoming Anger and Managing Powerful Emotions
- By: Stephen Dansiger PsyD MFT
- Narrated by: James Edward Thomas
- Length: 3 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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“We are born adventurers,” Bolitho writes, “and the love of adventures never leaves us till we are very old; old, timid men, in whose interest it is that adventure should quite die out. This is why all the poets are on one side, and all the laws on the other; for laws are made by, and usually for, old men." Though his essays are nearly 100 years old, they encompass the timeless values of perseverance, bravery, and strength of spirit that have proven to resonate with the pioneers and thought leaders of today.
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Not my favorite
- By Dani on 02-14-20
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
- A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent
- By: Carla Naumburg PhD
- Narrated by: Patricia Rodriguez
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Stop the yelling, lose the guilt, and become a calmer, happier parent. Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help listeners feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.
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Good content written poorly
- By Red Beard on 09-01-20
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When Anger Hurts (2nd Edition)
- Quieting the Storm Within
- By: Matthew McKay PhD, Peter D. Rogers PhD, Judith McKay RN
- Narrated by: Emmanuel Chumaceiro
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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This new edition of When Anger Hurts is a complete, step-by-step guide to changing habitual anger-generating thoughts while developing healthier, more effective ways of meeting your needs. It includes new chapters on emergency anger control, the interpersonal and physiological costs of anger, road rage, and parental anger.
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Narrated like an infomercial… get the actual book
- By John on 05-30-22
By: Matthew McKay PhD, and others
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Beyond Anger: A Guide for Men
- How to Free Yourself from the Grip of Anger and Get More out of Life
- By: Thomas J. Harbin
- Narrated by: Christopher Price
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Men tend to express their anger differently than women do. Research shows men are often more violent and less willing to confront and deal with their emotions than women. Written by a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of male rage, Beyond Anger shows the angry - and miserable - man how to change his life and relationships for the better. This book helps men understand their anger by explaining what the specific symptoms of chronic anger are and by showing angry men how their actions negatively affect family, friends, and coworkers.
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Eye Opener
- By Dylan on 02-11-19
By: Thomas J. Harbin
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How to Stop Being Negative, Angry, and Mean
- Master Your Mind and Take Control of Your Life
- By: Richard Banks
- Narrated by: Chad Gustafson
- Length: 3 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Negativity is a normal part of life. Nobody can be positive all that time because life isn’t always going to be perfect. That said, sometimes negativity infiltrates our minds and bodies and never leaves. A good day can be ruined by your mind dwelling on something stupid that happened years ago. You sit for hours ruminating over it, and before you realize it, you have wasted a great day. We’ve all had experiences like that, and they suck.
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Very helpful
- By Mackobubis on 08-09-23
By: Richard Banks
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Master Your Emotions: A Practical Guide to Overcome Negativity and Better Manage Your Feelings
- By: Thibaut Meurisse
- Narrated by: Joshua Alexander
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Master Your Emotions is the how-to manual your parents should have given you at birth. By listening to it, you’ll learn a step-by-step process to deal with negative emotions so you can live a happier, more fulfilling life. With pragmatic exercises and personal examples, you’ll explore techniques that counteract draining spirals of negativity and provide immediate relief.
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PDF FILE UNABLE TO OPEN / ACCESS (please fix issue
- By Amazon_customer_411 on 10-18-20
By: Thibaut Meurisse
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Stop Overthinking
- 23 Techniques to Relieve Stress, Stop Negative Spirals, Declutter Your Mind, and Focus on the Present (Mental and Emotional Abundance, Book 6)
- By: Nick Trenton
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Break free of your self-imposed mental prison. Stop Overthinking is a book that understands what you’ve been through, the exhausting situation you’ve put yourself into, and how you lose your mind in the trap of anxiety and stress. Acclaimed author Nick Trenton will walk you through the obstacles, with detailed and proven techniques, to help you rewire your brain, control your thoughts, and change your mental habits.
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Useful tips/reminders for self-transformation
- By Hazard on 06-20-21
By: Nick Trenton
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Can't Hurt Me
- Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds
- By: David Goggins
- Narrated by: David Goggins, Adam Skolnick
- Length: 13 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare--poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a US Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force tactical air controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events.
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Opting for the book instead
- By S David on 12-24-18
By: David Goggins
What listeners say about The Cow in the Parking Lot
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Overall
- Van
- 07-05-10
Great advise for those troubled by anger
I recently admitted to myself that I have an anger problem and not liking how this made me feel I vowed to change. This audiobook gave me several insights into the source of my anger and how to deal with it properly. I have listened to this book a couple times now and find it very useful to go back to when I find myself getting angry. It's a great listen and I highly recommend it to anyone who finds themselves struggling with anger.
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9 people found this helpful
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- Kelley
- 07-21-12
Helpful!
I thought the book had great content, flow, pace - everything you could ask for. If, like me, you occasionally lose your cool and live to regret it, this should be a good book for you.
As for the narration, here's a trick I learned: If you have a player that allows it (iphone, newer ipods do) speed the narration up to 1.5. The book's still fine to understand, and the narrator-itis disappears completely. Try it!
(If you can't, you may wanna think twice, because that poor, sweet guy did try a little too hard and it is pretty annoying.)
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4 people found this helpful
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- CaptainSuperDave2000
- 07-27-23
Good book, Read it again without the accents
This guy reading this book is doing these phony Asian accents which are borderline problematic and regardless quite annoying and absolutely unnecessary. You can read the quote from the Asian guy without doing a fake Asian accent. it is frankly bonkers.
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- Chris
- 08-20-12
Narration is Fine
The message of the book is excellent and useful and entirely realistic. But I'd like to make a note about the narration. He sounds fine. He reads slowly but it is easy to get used to his pace. He also does adopt different accents if he is playing a character in one of the many parables. However, most readers do this and his voices are no worse than anyone else's. Please don't let the negative reviews about the narration sway you from trying this book. The content has unexpectedly changed my life for the better.
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11 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Meena
- 07-01-10
Good book
A very good book, well narrated. I would recommend this. Thanks to Audible for having such great books in store
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1 person found this helpful
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- Marvin
- 10-25-11
Angry Birds Hates This Book!
Talking about being angry? Well this book will make you stop and think: Being Angry - is it worth it? nice book, a good approach overcoming anger and the narrator's soothing voice is another plus-plus. Easy five stars!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Paladin17
- 01-08-17
Excellent book
Fantastic book for people wanting an intro to Zen Buddhism. Narrator - the accents you use are awful :) why did you do that?
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- LeeVaris
- 01-25-24
Controlling your anger
This books breaks down a lot of different angers and how to deal with the various situations of life with random ppl and loved ones
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- Brett
- 04-08-14
Good lessons for anyone to learn.
When I first read the title of this book, images of angry people with bulging forehead veins came to mind, but really this book is for everyone. Anger and frustration are part of the human condition - to ignore it is wrong and to indulge it is wrong too - so what can we do? This book attempts to tell you.
Overall this book was pretty good but obvious - lacking philosophical depth. I liked the parables and quotes from Buddhist teachers, but I didn't find the author's own experiences very compelling. The chapter on how to handle angry people was, I thought, the weakest in this regard. e.g., see things from their perspective - don't jump to conclusions - try not to get angry back. Not bad messages but really - who doesn't know these things? I would have appreciated more Buddhist philosophy and less weekend-seminar style anger management.
The narrator talked slowly and sometimes his accents sounded funny but he was not terrible.
Overall not bad. Helpful to an extent - especially if you are prone to anger or frustration.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Robert
- 04-09-12
A Zen Review
Would you try another book from Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston and/or Bill Mendieta?
yes
Would you be willing to try another book from Leonard Scheff and Susan Edmiston ? Why or why not?
yes
Did Bill Mendieta do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?
no
If this book were a movie would you go see it?
no
Any additional comments?
Although the zen method for handling anger was presented the actual application seemed to be missing.It would be better to give actual ways to use this method.
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