The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
The Hitman's Guide, Book 7
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Narrated by:
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Michael Ferraiuolo
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By:
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Alice Winters
About this listen
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
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- By: K.A. Knight
- Narrated by: Cornell Collins, Hollie Jackson
- Length: 19 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Ryder, Garrett, Kenzo, and Diesel - The Vipers. Their deals are as sordid as their business, and their reputation is enough to bring a grown man to his knees, forcing him to beg for mercy. They are not people you mess with, yet my dad did. The old man ran up a debt with them and then sold me to cover his losses. Yes, sold me. They own me now. I’m theirs in every sense of the word. But I’ve never been meek and compliant.
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Shrek
- By Shemika Holmes on 02-25-21
By: K.A. Knight
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Merry Ever After
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Tessa Bailey
- Narrated by: Summer Morton, Connor Crais
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
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Evie Crowe is starting over in a strange town with her newborn, and men are the furthest thing from her mind. If only the quiet, hulking farmer, Luke Ward, would stop coming into the thrift shop and piquing her reluctant interest. Evie wants to stay single all the way—she can’t trust anything more than friends-with-holiday-benefits. But Luke is in it for the long haul. He’s fixed on making this a Christmas Evie will remember forever. If she gives him a chance.
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An ode to his monster Yule log.
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Tessa Bailey
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Drop Dead
- By: Lily Chu
- Narrated by: Phillipa Soo, John Cho
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
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Obituary writer Nadine Barbault doesn’t mind being called “Lady Death”. It suits the ice queen persona she’s cultivated to survive the fast-paced Toronto Herald. So when Nadine learns that famous (and reclusive) author Dot Voline has died, she doesn’t hesitate to run the obituary…only to discover that Dot is very much alive. Nadine’s screw-up has brought Wesley Chen of the rival Spear no end of joy—she’s been a thorn in his extremely ambitious side for years. But the renewed interest in Dot also surfaced chatter about a mysterious past scandal.
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Clean and sweet
- By Momma Nae on 08-02-24
By: Lily Chu
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Holiday Hideaway
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- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Eva Kaminsky
- Length: 1 hr and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Tilly Farriday isn’t feeling very jolly this season. Recently divorced and broke, she’s squatting in one of her rental agency’s properties until her new home is ready. The sprinkles on top of the burnt Christmas cookie that is her life? The new owner shows up early, forcing Tilly to hide in the attic to save her job…and what remains of her dignity.
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I ain’t afraid of no ghosts
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 10-31-24
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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Nocticadia
- By: Keri Lake
- Narrated by: Aaron Shedlock, Stella Hunter
- Length: 18 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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After watching my mother succumb to a mysterious illness, I promised myself two things. I'd find the cure for what ravaged her and leave the godforsaken city where she abandoned me. Four years later, I received an acceptance letter from Dracadia University, one of the oldest most prestigious schools in the country. Nestled on a secluded island off the coast of Maine, it's rumored to be haunted by the souls of the mental patients exiled there centuries before, those whose bones are said to make up the island's white sandy shores. And restless ghosts aren't even its most daunting peculiarity.
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Good but a slight miss
- By Destinyreadsbooks on 01-17-24
By: Keri Lake
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Mr. and Mrs. Christmas
- By: Michelle Stimpson
- Narrated by: Marcella Cox, Ian Hackney
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
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There's no place like home for the holidays ... especially for Lesley Carver. Life in the big city just wasn't her jam and now she's back in Hickory Falls, working at the family diner and helping her mom after she took a tumble. Lesley longs to build a life here, working at the cafe, selling her handmade ornaments and ... er, apparently reviving her high school crush on her best friend’s older brother. Only one problem, her mom wants her to leave Hickory Falls far behind.
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Loved the book!
- By Amazon Customer on 11-15-24
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All by My Elf
- Under the Mistletoe Collection
- By: Olivia Dade
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 1 hr and 28 mins
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Nina and William are underpaid adjunct professors at the same university, where winter break is no break at all: ’tis the season to make extra money. When their holiday side hustle has them stranded by a blinding blizzard in the middle of nowhere, there’s nothing to do but cuddle up for warmth and play a game of Never Have I Ever to pass the time. But in the game of love, secrets never stay secret for long…
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A cool, considerate romance
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 11-13-24
By: Olivia Dade
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At least that's what I tell myself when I witness the same hot guy commit mass murder three times in a few days. I'm either the luckiest mute boy ever or possibly the unluckiest. Who knows, maybe him kidnapping me will turn into the greatest love story ever told? Hey, it could happen! You never know how these things will turn out. I happen to believe in love and soulmates, and if nothing else, Arlington Fox doesn't treat my disability like a nuisance.
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Former Army Ranger turned government assassin Álvaro Montero and CIA Officer Caiden Cardosa crossed paths two years ago in Vienna, where their encounter ended less than amicably—despite the explosive sexual chemistry between them. Now Caiden is riding a desk at Langley after his cover is blown. And Álvaro—who was “killed”—has a new identity and purpose as Delta/D, an operative for the Locke and Keyes Agency, under the leadership of the mysterious Orion.
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At 12, he was my best friend. At 16, he became my crush. And now, at 34, he’s the man I’m still pining after. Falling in love with Easton was never part of the plan. But now that I’ve done it, I can’t seem to stop. It doesn’t help that we’re living under the same roof. Or that Easton is so dang sweet I want to lick him from head to toe.
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Timeless romance!
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What listeners say about The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- K. G. Barcham
- 11-11-24
Wonderful from start to finish
The only thing I dislike about this book, or any of Alice Winters books, is that they end.
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- Maryellen in Metsland
- 11-09-24
Zany perfection!
I adore Alice Winters and have read / listened to nearly all of her books. This book might be her best one yet! Come for the hijinx and controlled chaos and stay for the endearing charms of Tavish and the surprisingly tender love story at the center of this zany tale.
Tour de force performance by Michael F. Don’t hit stop until you hear the studio cut of Leland’s murder song. 😂 Five huge stars all around. Well done!
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- C K
- 11-06-24
Interesting
It was really fun to read a story about these familiar characters from the perspective of a new person, one who was so different from everyone else in the cast. I hope we get to see more of Ellis and Tavish in future books!
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- KTee
- 11-12-24
Excellent
Loved every minute of it and I can’t wait to hear more, thank you for lifting my spirits
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- Sharon L
- 11-11-24
loved it so much I did not want it to be over
So many funny scenes. loved Ellis, he was so cute, innocent and yet he fit with the group. Michael did such a great job narrating this, and absolutely loved the murder song at the end. More please
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- Kindle Customer M
- 11-01-24
murder murder song it was fantastic
I really like the view of the normal person he was so normal that they thought he was a alien or a inside man it was a fun read can't wait for the NXT one
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- abigail david
- 11-06-24
Alice winters did it again !!🤩
Every time I’m thinking about Alice winters stories it gives me great joy because it’s so funny. It’s so creative and I just can’t believe how her mind works.
These characters no matter how crazy they get is just makes sense because the world she creates makes me wanna live in it.
Every time I hear about a book she released I buy it right away with the credit or cash. It doesn’t matter because I need her books !!
thank you for your hard work can’t wait for the next one.
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- Monica L.
- 11-04-24
I love it
the song at the end it thee best and I can't wait until the next book !!!
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- Rachel
- 11-14-24
I definitely laughed out loud
Super cute, though I was getting a little bored with the plot. everything is so goofy though, that it makes up for it. I love every Alice Winters book. and Michael, thank you for the song at the end. Beautiful. 😂 You're great.
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- Many Hat Momma
- 11-09-24
Different, but with the comfort of the familiar
Alice did a fabulous job on this book. Sometimes characters are so similar in a series, or sometimes the same old plot points, that it gets repetitive and boring. This story was so refreshing! The characters were very unique, and each stayed true to their original personalities throughout the story. What a Herculean task to successfully integrate our beloved main characters without having them take too much of the limelight (I’m sure Leland wouldn’t be happy about that comment…). Alice faced that challenge and did it well! It was a very well written work, and Michael was fantastic in adding the perfect voices and emotions to make these new characters pop! He is always fabulous, and I was truly impressed with Tavish’s ever present accent. Extremely well done! This is actually one of my top 3 favorites in the series.
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