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The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
The Hitman's Guide, Book 7
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Narrated by:
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Michael Ferraiuolo
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By:
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Alice Winters
About this listen
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
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Beckett: If you’re reading this, well, you know the last-letter drill. You made it. I didn’t. Get off the guilt train, because I know if there was any chance you could have saved me, you would have. I need one thing from you: get out of the army and get to Telluride. My little sister Ella’s raising the twins alone. She’s too independent and won’t accept help easily, but she has lost our grandmother, our parents, and now me. It’s too much for anyone to endure. And here’s the kicker: there’s something else you don’t know that’s tearing her family apart.
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What in the actual f@#k!
- By Booklover876🇯🇲 on 07-26-19
By: Rebecca Yarros
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Pretty Monster
- A Dark Stalker Romance
- By: Sheridan Anne
- Narrated by: Sierra Kline, C.J. Grey
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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I'm addicted to my stalker. He watches me at night, sneaking in through my living room window and making my blood turn to ice. I feel him all around me as chills snake down my spine. Each night he becomes bolder, getting closer and welcoming himself into my bedroom, feeding his addiction.
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Adult Wattpad story
- By Colette Bryan on 01-22-25
By: Sheridan Anne
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Birthday Girl
- By: Penelope Douglas
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Jennifer Mack
- Length: 13 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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We're not free to give into this. She's 19, and I'm 38. And I'm her boyfriend's father. Unfortunately, they both just moved into my house.
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Serious perfection
- By Misty Walker on 08-09-18
By: Penelope Douglas
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thoroughly entertained
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literal tears of laughter
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Escape to a Winter Wonderland with CEO and billionaire Colton Connolly as he embarks on a shenanigan-filled journey in search of the idyllic white Christmas he's always craved. Inspired by the enchantment of his favorite holiday movies, Colton surprises his beloved husband and their found family with a trip to the captivating mountain town of Winterhaven.
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A thousand years ago, my great-something uncle founded the Collective, a secret organization dedicated to protecting humanity from demons. The hunter tradition has been passed down over the generations, from parent to child, secure in the knowledge that the Collective is a community of safety and knowledge. But betrayal sucks, and six years ago, it turned my world—and the Collective—upside down. After generations of deception, the hunters left behind are picking up the pieces and trying something we’ve never done before—working side by side with our enemy.
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I feel like I missed a book
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Despite growing up in a family of villains, I’d rather curl up and read than commit crimes. When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush, also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly, he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents.
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wow!!!!! just wow!!!!
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Kept in the Dark
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Former Army Ranger turned government assassin Álvaro Montero and CIA Officer Caiden Cardosa crossed paths two years ago in Vienna, where their encounter ended less than amicably—despite the explosive sexual chemistry between them. Now Caiden is riding a desk at Langley after his cover is blown. And Álvaro—who was “killed”—has a new identity and purpose as Delta/D, an operative for the Locke and Keyes Agency, under the leadership of the mysterious Orion.
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need more!!
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The Silent Mountain Man
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Nearly getting killed in a mudslide only reminds me why I hate the mountains. I'm uninjured, but my car is wrecked, there's no way I can get into town, and there's no reception here. Maybe it's karma for putting this trip off. I haven't been able to bring myself to visit since Pa's funeral. And then there are the painful memories that still haunt me of my first love and heartbreak.
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Hot Head
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Lake Forrester III entered my life like a wrecking ball. Drake Security, my firm with my brothers, was hired to protect him from a stalker ex, but what Lake doesn’t know is that he’s not dealing with your average unhinged human. The unhinged wolf shifter he unknowingly dated will stop at nothing to get Lake in his clutches. Just another day in the life of a dragon body guard.
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too much
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What listeners say about The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
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- Monica L.
- 11-04-24
I love it
the song at the end it thee best and I can't wait until the next book !!!
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- Rachel
- 11-14-24
I definitely laughed out loud
Super cute, though I was getting a little bored with the plot. everything is so goofy though, that it makes up for it. I love every Alice Winters book. and Michael, thank you for the song at the end. Beautiful. 😂 You're great.
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- kevin St. Clair
- 11-28-24
Just as good as the first book!
Alice please keep up and let’s see another book on this series!!! <3 I can’t even tell how many people I’ve turned onto your word
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- Many Hat Momma
- 11-09-24
Different, but with the comfort of the familiar
Alice did a fabulous job on this book. Sometimes characters are so similar in a series, or sometimes the same old plot points, that it gets repetitive and boring. This story was so refreshing! The characters were very unique, and each stayed true to their original personalities throughout the story. What a Herculean task to successfully integrate our beloved main characters without having them take too much of the limelight (I’m sure Leland wouldn’t be happy about that comment…). Alice faced that challenge and did it well! It was a very well written work, and Michael was fantastic in adding the perfect voices and emotions to make these new characters pop! He is always fabulous, and I was truly impressed with Tavish’s ever present accent. Extremely well done! This is actually one of my top 3 favorites in the series.
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- Artist R
- 11-20-24
So much silly fun!
This book is dedefinitely more enjoyable after reading the others in the series. It's just delightfully fun. A low angst light hearted murder romp with all the characters that have been wonderfully developed along the way. Lovely narration and a treat at the end.
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- Nikki
- 11-26-24
Fun!
These are always fun, over the top, laugh inducing listens. The characters are great and I always enjoy the books. The narration is amazing!
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- Michele H
- 11-05-24
Tavish finds a beau
So much fun! Tavish gets an assist from the ex-hitmen (Leland, Cassel & Micah) while trying to woo Ellis (the man he…accidentally kidnapped).
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- White Wolf
- 11-14-24
Omg the end (no spoilers)
If you know you know. I adore this series And well pretty much everything by Ms. Winters
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- Diane
- 11-08-24
I love this series
Tavish finally gets over his Jackson crush & gets his own man. Tavish & Ellis were perfect for each other. I love every time I read Daddy Henry's asking why his part of the text conversation. Cracks me up every single time. So we start off with a major miscommunication about who Ellis really is. When Tavish finally figures out that he was given wrong information, he then tries his hardest to get Ellis to forgive him and keep him safe. I love when the entire crew comes together to figure out why the bad guys are after Ellis and band together to keep him safe. I loved this one, as I have loved every book in this series. I can't wait for more.
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- S. Jones
- 11-12-24
Laugh out loud!!
This may have been the greatest book yet in the series. Truly laugh out loud- glad no one was nearby to witness! Tavish, Leland, Fence… and the most fabulous narration yet, with a zippy little song! Do not miss this!!!
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