
The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
The Hitman's Guide, Book 7
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Narrated by:
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Michael Ferraiuolo
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By:
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Alice Winters
About this listen
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
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- VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not.
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incredible!!!!!!
- By Rebecca Azizov on 05-01-20
By: Alice Winters
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Reckless Roulette
- The Elite, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 4 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Kade has seven days left to live...unless I do something about it. I am one of the best assassins around, after all. But...I’m not sure I exactly care what happens to Kade. He’s rude, only cares about himself and his casino, and did I mention he doesn’t know a single thing about video games? Okay, okay. Maybe that’s not enough of a reason to watch him dash headlong into danger while I kick back and enjoy the show.
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Terrific
- By Texan2 on 10-18-23
By: Alice Winters
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A Villain for Christmas
- Vexing Villains, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Despite growing up in a family of villains, I’d rather curl up and read than commit crimes. When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush, also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly, he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents.
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wow!!!!! just wow!!!!
- By Rebecca Azizov on 05-23-20
By: Alice Winters
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Nixing the End of the World
- Phoenix's Quest, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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“You are the savior of mankind” are the last words I ever expected to hear while nibbling on fries. The thing is, I’m not mankind saving material. I don’t even have magic (and just found out it exists). I’m the most boring, normal(ish) human ever. Suddenly, I’m being tossed right into the middle of a fight that started years before I was even born, and then I get partnered up with Alastair, a quirky magical Guardian. He is rather attractive and sweet when he’s not into the whole “woe is me, I can’t let myself fall in love with you” nonsense.
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Started off great
- By T.L.M. on 08-18-21
By: Alice Winters
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A Fae Coin Transported Me into Another World and Now I'm the Gay Holy Maiden
- A Fortune Favors the Fae Standalone
- By: AJ Sherwood
- Narrated by: Zachary Zaba, Tor Thom
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when you fall and hit the webtoons trope tree? You get killed by Truck-kun, get transported to a fantasy world by a sentient Fae coin, and become the first gay holy maiden. Jake Alexander is Not Happy to be sure. Fortunately in Jake's case, part of the trope tree includes the gorgeous Duke of the North, Theon. And starting a business from scratch, which he's always wanted to do. And revitalizing his new country which is on the verge of collapse.
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Tor Narrates Like Reading a Bullet List
- By pdxBooks on 01-20-25
By: AJ Sherwood
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Of Secrets and Wolves
- Winsford Shifters, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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My whole life, I’ve been taught to despise shifters. So when I’m hired to track two escaped convicts, I’m suddenly thrust into the world I hate - or thought I did. Yet I’m inexplicably drawn to the alpha of the pack, whose land the convicts may be hiding on. He’s different than any shifter I've ever met - laidback and quick to laugh, caring, and protective. As secrets are revealed, I start to wonder if everything I’ve been raised to believe was a lie, though it may not matter, because it seems like someone wants us dead.
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Not Charming
- By Amazon Customer on 05-03-21
By: Alice Winters
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Fated Mates and How to Woo Them
- A Fated Mates Standalone
- By: AJ Sherwood
- Narrated by: Derek Prince
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Chase is crazy busy behind the scenes at the fraternity get-together, so when an alumnus comes in, he just notes a hot man in his vicinity and goes right back to work. When Ronan gets hurt and Chase feeds him, Chase's reaction opens up a whole new world of possibilities. Ones that Ronan wants to explore. Is Chase compatible with vampires? Or could he possibly be something more?
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So cute
- By Liz Prosser on 04-10-24
By: AJ Sherwood
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Happy Endings
- Demon Magic, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Smart men never dabble with demons. I never claimed to be smart, but at least, I’m powerful enough to control them. When I bound Havoc to me nearly 300 years ago, I never realized how difficult he’d make my life, although “accidentally” lighting him on fire every now and then does bring a smile to my face. Havoc is handsome, mysterious, and somehow, my closest companion, even if we don’t always get along.
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incredible as always.
- By Rebecca Azizov on 12-23-20
By: Alice Winters
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Cast in Shadows
- Shadow's Lure, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When the light-magic users known as Casters took everything from me, I vowed to make them pay. Little did I know the perfect opportunity would show up in the form of a sweet Caster the moment I took his arrow to the heart…literally. Bastian knows that I’m made of dark magic, the very thing he’s been taught to destroy. But instead of turning away from me, he takes a chance on me, leading me behind the walls of the group out to kill me.
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I have many questions
- By Maryellen in Metsland on 08-08-23
By: Alice Winters
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Unraveling the Threads of Fate
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Some people are born lucky. Then there’s me, destined to be loved by the man who knows my darkest secret. My gift has followed me my entire life—the ability to see the threads of fate. I can see the red thread tying together two people destined to love one another. But my gift has another side to it. A darker side. I can also see a simple black thread tied to the fingers of those who aren’t aware of it, connecting them to the person destined to kill them. And when I look down at my own finger, I can see the red thread stretched over to Bishop King.
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Should have known better...
- By ashley on 08-10-22
By: Alice Winters
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Wed to the Barbarian
- Barbarian Duet, Book 1
- By: Keira Andrews
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Sheltered in the palace with his books, Jem’s life is peaceful. Even if he’s lonely and yearning for romance, the big, strong men he wants don’t crave small, timid princes. Then he’s forced to marry a mysterious barbarian. Jem must do his duty—even if it means being stuck with Cador, a brute who dismisses him as weak. Even if it means a fake marriage in name only for the sake of their homelands. Even if he must leave behind everything and everyone to journey to a forbidding island of ice and stone.
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Best book I’ve heard in a while
- By Ife Ajuwon on 02-15-25
By: Keira Andrews
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Monstrous Intent
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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It’s really hard to pretend like life is normal when you’re staring a monster in the eyes, though he’s both tempting and irritating in his human form. I put my days as a hunter behind me, unable to cope with the death and pain anymore, to become an upstanding citizen and for what? To assist Lake, a man who claims he’s not a monster but keeps talking about me like I’m edible and–even worse–wants to woo me?
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DNF
- By Trarv211 on 01-17-23
By: Alice Winters
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The Ghost in the Hall
- Beyond the Veil, Book 1
- By: KM Avery
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Something is very wrong with the Fitzwilliam estate. It was supposed to be a regular seance job. But from the minute I met an angry ghost in the hall, I knew there wasn't going to be anything ordinary about this house or its dead residents. First of all, there were way too many of them. Second, some of them had been helped along from living to dead. Third, my attempt to figure out what was going on got a bit sidetracked when I met the gardener. He was tall, dark green, and handsome. And really, really smart. So I hired him to help me figure out what was going on.
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Ok.
- By Trarv211 on 06-17-24
By: KM Avery
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Chrysalis
- Formicary, Book 1
- By: S.E. Harmon
- Narrated by: Kai Rubio
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Waking up in the hospital with a gunshot wound to the head is bad. Finding out I have amnesia is far worse. My memory is practically wiped. I don't know why someone wants me dead. Hell, I don't even know my name. They say my name is Christian Cross. Too bad that name means nothing to me. I haven't forgotten everything, though. Grayson Laurie has always been my kryptonite, and it would take more than a bullet to the brain to forget him. He assures me that I'm imagining the distance between us, but I know better. I just don't know how to fix it.
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Good Story
- By Carla on 04-28-22
By: S.E. Harmon
What listeners say about The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
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- Rachel
- 11-14-24
I definitely laughed out loud
Super cute, though I was getting a little bored with the plot. everything is so goofy though, that it makes up for it. I love every Alice Winters book. and Michael, thank you for the song at the end. Beautiful. 😂 You're great.
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- kevin St. Clair
- 11-28-24
Just as good as the first book!
Alice please keep up and let’s see another book on this series!!! <3 I can’t even tell how many people I’ve turned onto your word
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- Monica L.
- 11-04-24
I love it
the song at the end it thee best and I can't wait until the next book !!!
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- Many Hat Momma
- 11-09-24
Different, but with the comfort of the familiar
Alice did a fabulous job on this book. Sometimes characters are so similar in a series, or sometimes the same old plot points, that it gets repetitive and boring. This story was so refreshing! The characters were very unique, and each stayed true to their original personalities throughout the story. What a Herculean task to successfully integrate our beloved main characters without having them take too much of the limelight (I’m sure Leland wouldn’t be happy about that comment…). Alice faced that challenge and did it well! It was a very well written work, and Michael was fantastic in adding the perfect voices and emotions to make these new characters pop! He is always fabulous, and I was truly impressed with Tavish’s ever present accent. Extremely well done! This is actually one of my top 3 favorites in the series.
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- Artist R
- 11-20-24
So much silly fun!
This book is dedefinitely more enjoyable after reading the others in the series. It's just delightfully fun. A low angst light hearted murder romp with all the characters that have been wonderfully developed along the way. Lovely narration and a treat at the end.
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- Nikki
- 11-26-24
Fun!
These are always fun, over the top, laugh inducing listens. The characters are great and I always enjoy the books. The narration is amazing!
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- Michele H
- 11-05-24
Tavish finds a beau
So much fun! Tavish gets an assist from the ex-hitmen (Leland, Cassel & Micah) while trying to woo Ellis (the man he…accidentally kidnapped).
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- White Wolf
- 11-14-24
Omg the end (no spoilers)
If you know you know. I adore this series And well pretty much everything by Ms. Winters
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- Diane
- 11-08-24
I love this series
Tavish finally gets over his Jackson crush & gets his own man. Tavish & Ellis were perfect for each other. I love every time I read Daddy Henry's asking why his part of the text conversation. Cracks me up every single time. So we start off with a major miscommunication about who Ellis really is. When Tavish finally figures out that he was given wrong information, he then tries his hardest to get Ellis to forgive him and keep him safe. I love when the entire crew comes together to figure out why the bad guys are after Ellis and band together to keep him safe. I loved this one, as I have loved every book in this series. I can't wait for more.
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- S. Jones
- 11-12-24
Laugh out loud!!
This may have been the greatest book yet in the series. Truly laugh out loud- glad no one was nearby to witness! Tavish, Leland, Fence… and the most fabulous narration yet, with a zippy little song! Do not miss this!!!
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