
The Mercenary's Guide to Mishaps and Romance
The Hitman's Guide, Book 7
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Narrated by:
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Michael Ferraiuolo
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By:
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Alice Winters
About this listen
Ellis
Why is it that the first attractive man to look my way mistakes me for a bad guy, stuffs me in the trunk of his car, and ships me off to an island where I’m positive the only thing waiting for me is my own murder?
I mean... yeah, Tavish is charismatic and fun, but did I mention the whole trunk thing? Oh, maybe I forgot to mention his peculiar group of friends who keep promising to “help” me, but why are they running around with masks and weapons while praising fences?
Tavish and his friends are actually the bad guys, aren’t they?
If I (somehow) look past all of that… Tavish really does seem like a nice guy. He’s caring, funny, and willing to risk his life to protect me. It’s become quite clear that if I’m going to get out of this alive, I’m not going to be able to do it without him.
Tavish
So maybe I mixed things up a wee bit and took Ellis on a tiny road trip that he might not have been privy to. Ellis doesn’t seem to overly mind. I mean, yeah, maybe he tried blinding me with aerosol spray… or maybe I was just blinded by his handsome smile.
The problem is that Ellis is in danger, but he knows nothing about this world he’s been thrown into. He’s sweet, kind, and has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. And I’m prepared to protect it at all costs.
Contains a charming man who lays on a Scottish accent to get his way, a bewildered vet tech who’s wondering why everyone around him is so strange, a parrot who may or may not want to steal Tavish’s man, and the Hitman’s Guide crew up to their usual hijinks.
©2024 Alice Winters (P)2024 Alice WintersListeners also enjoyed...
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By: Alice Winters
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Unraveling the Threads of Fate
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Some people are born lucky. Then there’s me, destined to be loved by the man who knows my darkest secret. My gift has followed me my entire life—the ability to see the threads of fate. I can see the red thread tying together two people destined to love one another. But my gift has another side to it. A darker side. I can also see a simple black thread tied to the fingers of those who aren’t aware of it, connecting them to the person destined to kill them. And when I look down at my own finger, I can see the red thread stretched over to Bishop King.
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Should have known better...
- By ashley on 08-10-22
By: Alice Winters
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How to Vex a Vampire
- VRC: Vampire Related Crimes, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Getting into the vampire-only detective unit was the easy part. What’s going to be more difficult is dealing with my new partner - an ancient vampire who keeps threatening to eat me. The unit has never had a human in it. Marcus - or, as I like to call him: Fangy McFangface - would really prefer to keep it that way. He’s grumpy, short-tempered, and broody, but I have a way with words, and I know he’s starting to like me, even if he swears he’s not.
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incredible!!!!!!
- By Rebecca Azizov on 05-01-20
By: Alice Winters
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Heist of Hearts
- A Novella Collection
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Nefarious Nights: Aiden, who protects a crime lord, ends up trading banter and kisses with the man he’s supposed to kill. Never Have I Ever Ridden a Bike: Owen’s penchant for opening packages propels him and his best friend (and hopeless crush) Lance into a race against time… and a pantsless bicycle ride?
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Laugh so hard
- By monchari on 05-18-25
By: Alice Winters
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A Villain for Christmas
- Vexing Villains, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Lesley
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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Despite growing up in a family of villains, I’d rather curl up and read than commit crimes. When I get coerced by my brother into helping him rob a bank, I run into August, my childhood crush, also known as Chrono, the city’s greatest superhero. He’s sexy, sweet, and suddenly, he’s asking me to Thanksgiving with his parents.
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wow!!!!! just wow!!!!
- By Rebecca Azizov on 05-23-20
By: Alice Winters
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Fake Dates and Fanged Mistakes
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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This week hasn’t gone the best for me unless you count Casimir, the sexy ancient vampire, bringing me back from the brink of death (and tying my fate to his in the process). Not that it matters if the werewolves and vampires don’t stop their ridiculous feud, because someone is targeting them and widening the divide between our communities with each body they leave in their wake. But as the alpha’s son, I have a plan to fix everything. I’m going to convince Casimir to fake date me to show the others that we can work together. I mean… what could go wrong?
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Worth the listen!
- By Marc Hunter on 03-26-24
By: Alice Winters
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Not So Silent Night
- The Kings: A Treemendous Christmas, Book 1
- By: Charlie Cochet
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 2 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Escape to a Winter Wonderland with CEO and billionaire Colton Connolly as he embarks on a shenanigan-filled journey in search of the idyllic white Christmas he's always craved. Inspired by the enchantment of his favorite holiday movies, Colton surprises his beloved husband and their found family with a trip to the captivating mountain town of Winterhaven.
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Absolutely Adorable!
- By Dustin89 on 04-26-25
By: Charlie Cochet
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Cast in Shadows
- Shadow's Lure, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 9 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When the light-magic users known as Casters took everything from me, I vowed to make them pay. Little did I know the perfect opportunity would show up in the form of a sweet Caster the moment I took his arrow to the heart…literally. Bastian knows that I’m made of dark magic, the very thing he’s been taught to destroy. But instead of turning away from me, he takes a chance on me, leading me behind the walls of the group out to kill me.
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I have many questions
- By Maryellen in Metsland on 08-08-23
By: Alice Winters
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A Fae Coin Transported Me into Another World and Now I'm the Gay Holy Maiden
- A Fortune Favors the Fae Standalone
- By: AJ Sherwood
- Narrated by: Zachary Zaba, Tor Thom
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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What happens when you fall and hit the webtoons trope tree? You get killed by Truck-kun, get transported to a fantasy world by a sentient Fae coin, and become the first gay holy maiden. Jake Alexander is Not Happy to be sure. Fortunately in Jake's case, part of the trope tree includes the gorgeous Duke of the North, Theon. And starting a business from scratch, which he's always wanted to do. And revitalizing his new country which is on the verge of collapse.
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Tor Narrates Like Reading a Bullet List
- By pdxBooks on 01-20-25
By: AJ Sherwood
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Nixing the End of the World
- Phoenix's Quest, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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“You are the savior of mankind” are the last words I ever expected to hear while nibbling on fries. The thing is, I’m not mankind saving material. I don’t even have magic (and just found out it exists). I’m the most boring, normal(ish) human ever. Suddenly, I’m being tossed right into the middle of a fight that started years before I was even born, and then I get partnered up with Alastair, a quirky magical Guardian. He is rather attractive and sweet when he’s not into the whole “woe is me, I can’t let myself fall in love with you” nonsense.
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Started off great
- By T.L.M. on 08-18-21
By: Alice Winters
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THIRDS Volume One: Books 1-3
- The THIRDS Collection, Book 1
- By: Charlie Cochet
- Narrated by: Mark Westfield
- Length: 24 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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When homicide detective Dexter J. Daley's testimony helps send his partner away for murder, the consequences aren't far behind. Dex fears he'll get transferred from the Human Police Force's Sixth Precinct. Instead, his adoptive father pulls a few strings, and Dex gets recruited as a Defense Agent at the THIRDS. Dex is determined to get his life back on track, but his first meeting with Team Leader Sloane Brodie turns disastrous.
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Fun characters, good plot
- By Saltypants on 08-17-24
By: Charlie Cochet
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Of Secrets and Wolves
- Winsford Shifters, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
- Length: 10 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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My whole life, I’ve been taught to despise shifters. So when I’m hired to track two escaped convicts, I’m suddenly thrust into the world I hate - or thought I did. Yet I’m inexplicably drawn to the alpha of the pack, whose land the convicts may be hiding on. He’s different than any shifter I've ever met - laidback and quick to laugh, caring, and protective. As secrets are revealed, I start to wonder if everything I’ve been raised to believe was a lie, though it may not matter, because it seems like someone wants us dead.
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Not Charming
- By Amazon Customer on 05-03-21
By: Alice Winters
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Hidden in Darkness
- In Darkness Series, Book 1
- By: Alice Winters
- Narrated by: Joel Leslie
- Length: 9 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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When Felix lands a job taking care of a man recovering from severe injuries, he thinks his life may have just turned around. Anything has to be better than the place he's leaving. There's something about Lane that draws Felix to him and makes him question if this place could finally become a home for him. But when someone begins stalking Felix, he is left to question who Lane is and what actually happened to him. Together, Felix and Lane will be forced to see just how far they will go to protect each other.
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I'm going to keep this one in the Favorite pile
- By Mo on 10-10-18
By: Alice Winters
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Treasure Trail
- Treasure Trail, Book 1
- By: Morgan Brice
- Narrated by: John Solo
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Erik Mitchell traveled the world uncovering art fraud and relic theft, which pitted him against spoiled billionaires, unscrupulous collectors, mobsters, and cartels. He worked with law enforcement across the US and Europe, but then a sting goes wrong, Erik ends up injured and returns to find his partner cheating. He decides to stop globetrotting and buy an antique shop in scenic Cape May, New Jersey, rebuild his life, and nurse his broken heart.
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dramatic and repetitive
- By Kindle Customer on 10-20-20
By: Morgan Brice
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THIRDS Beyond the Books, Volume 1
- By: Charlie Cochet
- Narrated by: Mark Westfield
- Length: 15 hrs
- Unabridged
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Join us as we celebrate the THIRDS universe with this collection of flash fiction stories written to prompts submitted by fans. Sometimes we want to know more about our favorite characters. Where they came from, how they became who they are, their families, friendships, and past heartaches. These snippets of moments in time offer an inside look at the lives of our favorite THIRDS characters. Whether it’s first shifts, the forging of unbreakable bonds, or a night full of shenanigans, these stories are sure to enrich your THIRDS listening experience.
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Hilarious, Heartfelt, Happy Vibes
- By Larry Winters on 03-14-25
By: Charlie Cochet
I love it
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I definitely laughed out loud
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Just as good as the first book!
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Different, but with the comfort of the familiar
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So much silly fun!
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Fun!
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These characters no matter how crazy they get is just makes sense because the world she creates makes me wanna live in it.
Every time I hear about a book she released I buy it right away with the credit or cash. It doesn’t matter because I need her books !!
thank you for your hard work can’t wait for the next one.
Alice winters did it again !!🤩
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murder murder song it was fantastic
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Wonderful from start to finish
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Murder song
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