
How It Feels to Float
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Narrated by:
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Candice Moll
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By:
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Helena Fox
About this listen
A Kirkus Reviews Best Book of the Year
A Chicago Public Library Best of the Best of the Year
"Profoundly moving . . . Will take your breath away."—Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces
A stunningly gorgeous and deeply hopeful portrayal of living with mental illness and grief, from an exceptional new voice.
Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was seven. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface—normal okay regular fine.
But after what happens on the beach—first in the ocean, and then in the sand—the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears and, with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe—maybe maybe maybe—there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.
Debut author Helena Fox tells a story about love and grief, about inter-generational mental illness, and how living with it is both a bridge to someone loved and lost and, also, a chasm. She explores the hard and beautiful places loss can take us, and honors those who hold us tightly when the current wants to tug us out to sea.
"Give this to all [your] friends immediately."—Cosmopolitan.com
"I haven't been so dazzled by a YA in ages."—Jandy Nelson, author of I'll Give You the Sun (via SLJ)
"Mesmerizing and timely."—Bustle
"Nothing short of exquisite."—PopSugar
"Immensely satisfying"—Girls' Life
* "Lyrical and profoundly affecting."—Kirkus (starred review)
* "Masterful...Just beautiful."—Booklist (starred review)
* "Intimate...Unexpected."—PW (starred review)
* "Fox writes with superb understanding and tenderness."—BCCB (starred review)
* "Frank [and] beautifully crafted."—BookPage (starred review)
"Deeply moving...A story of hope."—Common Sense Media
"This book will explode you into atoms."—Margo Lanagan, author of Tender Morsels
"Helena Fox's novel delivers. Read it."—Cath Crowley, author of Words in Deep Blue
"This is not a book; it is a work of art."—Kerry Kletter, author of The First Time She Drowned
"Perfect...Readers will be deeply moved."—Books+Publishing
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Critic reviews
“I haven’t been so dazzled by a YA in ages. . . . Biz’s voice is wild and rollicking, lyrical and hilarious, utterly authentic . . . There isn’t a false note.”—Jandy Nelson, author of I’ll Give You the Sun (via School Library Journal)
"[How It Feels to Float] explores intergenerational mental illness in a way that is nothing short of exquisite."—PopSugar
"A profoundly moving story about grief, loss, and love that will take your breath away. Helena Fox is a writer to be reckoned with."—Kathleen Glasgow, author of Girl in Pieces
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Story
Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes. What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.
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Tear jerking, jaw breaking, just a whole lot
- By Elena S. on 06-22-18
By: Amber Smith
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Girl in Pieces
- By: Kathleen Glasgow
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan, Kathleen Glasgow
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Charlotte Davis is in pieces. At 17 she's already lost more than most people do in a lifetime. But she's learned how to forget. The broken glass washes away the sorrow until there is nothing but calm. You don't have to think about your father and the river. Your best friend, who is gone forever. Or your mother, who has nothing left to give you. Every new scar hardens Charlie's heart just a little more, yet it still hurts so much. It hurts enough to not care anymore, which is sometimes what has to happen before you can find your way back from the edge.
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Touching, Sobering, Fascinating
- By Wendi on 05-31-17
By: Kathleen Glasgow
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Suicide Notes
- By: Michael Thomas Ford
- Narrated by: Barrett Leddy
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year’s Day to find himself in the hospital—specifically, in the psychiatric ward. Despite the bandages on his wrists, he’s positive this is all some huge mistake. Jeff is perfectly fine, perfectly normal; not like the other kids in the hospital with him. But over the course of the next forty-five days, Jeff begins to understand why he ended up here—and realizes he has more in common with the other kids than he thought.
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Extremely problematic
- By Pink Amy on 01-04-24
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Every Last Word
- By: Tamara Ireland Stone
- Narrated by: Amy Rubinate
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Samantha McAllister looks just like the rest of the popular girls in her junior class. But hidden beneath the straightened hair and expertly applied makeup is a secret that her friends would never understand: Sam has purely obsessional OCD and is consumed by a stream of dark thoughts and worries that she can't turn off. Second-guessing every move, thought, and word makes daily life a struggle, and it doesn't help that her lifelong friends will turn toxic at the first sign of a wrong outfit, wrong lunch, or wrong crush.
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Nothing Special
- By FanB14 on 08-22-15
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Suicide Notes from Beautiful Girls
- By: Lynn Weingarten
- Narrated by: Rebekkah Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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They say Delia burned herself to death in her stepfather's shed. They say it was suicide. But June doesn't believe it. June and Delia used to be closer than anything. Best friends in that way that comes before everyone else - before guys, before family. It was like being in love, but more. They had a billion secrets tying them together like thin silk cords. But one night a year ago, everything changed. June, Delia, and June's boyfriend, Ryan, were just having a little fun. Their good time got out of hand.
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whoa
- By Lillian Ogden on 01-22-17
By: Lynn Weingarten
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The Glass Girl
- By: Kathleen Glasgow
- Narrated by: Gail Shalan
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone in fifteen-year-old Bella’s life needs something from her. Her mom needs her to help around the house, her dad needs her to not make waves, her ex needs her to not be so much. The only person who never needed anything from her was her grandmother—and now she’s dead. There’s only one thing that dulls the pressure: alcohol. Vodka, beer, peppermint schnapps—alcohol smooths the sharp edges of Bella’s life. And what’s the big deal? Everyone drinks. Besides, Bella can stop whenever she wants.
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The narration was insufferable
- By katerina on 11-13-24
By: Kathleen Glasgow
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That's Not What Happened
- By: Kody Keplinger
- Narrated by: Whitney Dykhouse, Megan Tusing, Almarie Guerra, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s been three years since the Virgil County High School Massacre. Three years since my best friend, Sarah, was killed in a bathroom stall during the mass shooting. Everyone knows Sarah’s story - that she died proclaiming her faith. But it’s not true. I know because I was with her when she died. I didn’t say anything then, and people got hurt because of it. Now Sarah’s parents are publishing a book about her, so this might be my last chance to set the record straight. Except Sarah’s martyrdom is important to a lot of people, people who don’t take kindly to what I’m trying to do.
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✫✫ 3.5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 10-04-18
By: Kody Keplinger
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If He Had Been with Me
- By: Laura Nowlin
- Narrated by: Gina Rogers
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Autumn and Finn used to be inseparable. But then something changed. Or they changed. Now, they do their best to ignore each other. Autumn has her boyfriend, Jamie, and her close-knit group of friends. And Finn has become that boy at school, the one everyone wants to be around. That still doesn't stop the way Autumn feels every time she and Finn cross paths, and the growing, nagging thought that maybe things could have been different. Maybe they should be together. But come August, things will change forever.
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Waste of time.
- By Eric Vinton on 10-29-21
By: Laura Nowlin
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All the Bright Places
- Movie Tie-In Edition
- By: Jennifer Niven
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne, Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Theodore Finch is fascinated by death, and he constantly thinks of ways he might die. But each time, something good, no matter how small, stops him. Violet Markey lives for the future, counting the days until graduation, when she can escape her Indiana town and her aching grief in the wake of her sister's recent death. When Finch and Violet meet on the ledge of the bell tower at school, it's unclear who saves whom.
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Best YA Quirky Love Story of 2015
- By FanB14 on 06-09-15
By: Jennifer Niven
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Obsessed
- A Memoir of My Life with OCD
- By: Allison Britz
- Narrated by: Emily Ellet
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Until sophomore year of high school, 15-year-old Allison Britz lived a comfortable life in an idyllic town. She was a dedicated student with tons of extracurricular activities, friends, and loving parents at home. But after awakening from a vivid nightmare in which she was diagnosed with brain cancer, she was convinced the dream had been a warning. Allison believed that she must do something to stop the cancer in her dream from becoming a reality.
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Wonderful book, but be careful if you also suffer from OCD
- By Anthony J. Tyler on 04-10-21
By: Allison Britz
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Paperweight
- By: Meg Haston
- Narrated by: Mandy Siegfried
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid.
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The Fake Southern Accent? Yeeeeesh!
- By Daryl on 06-30-17
By: Meg Haston
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Tell Me Three Things
- By: Julie Buxbaum
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Everything about Jessie is wrong. At least that's what it feels like during her first week of junior year at her new ultra-intimidating prep school in Los Angeles. Just when she's thinking about hightailing it back to Chicago, she gets an email from a person calling themselves Somebody/Nobody (SN for short), offering to help her navigate the wilds of Wood Valley High School. Is it an elaborate hoax? Or can she rely on SN for some much-needed help?
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Cute story
- By irishred507 on 03-27-17
By: Julie Buxbaum
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The Last to Let Go
- By: Amber Smith
- Narrated by: Stephanie Einstein
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you let go of something you've never had? Junior year for Brooke Winters is supposed to be about change. She's transferring schools, starting fresh, and making plans for college so she can finally leave her hometown, her family, and her past behind. But all of her dreams are shattered one hot summer afternoon when her mother is arrested for killing Brooke's abusive father. No one really knows what happened that day, if it was premeditated or self-defense, whether it was right or wrong. And now Brooke and her siblings are on their own.
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It's slow
- By Autumn S. on 09-05-18
By: Amber Smith
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My Heart and Other Black Holes
- By: Jasmine Warga
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.
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Depressingly Delightful
- By FanB14 on 06-20-15
By: Jasmine Warga
What listeners say about How It Feels to Float
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- Anonymous User
- 08-25-22
Moving, Revealing & Touchingly Beautiful
This is a wonderful story. The main character is such a beautiful complex tapestry of personality, vulnerability and wonder for her world. Her voice is subtle, tender and brave. She is trying to make sense of her life narrative in the midst of a parallel family story being lived and written; in the midst of being a teenage girl; in the midst of ever changing friendship, school and community.
There is revelation, tenderness, heartbreak and learning how to live. Find your people. Find a way to live and treasure life with those who love each other.
Wonderful narration!!! Splendid work.
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- P. Grider
- 02-20-23
Not my favorite
I listened to this book based off a recommendation not knowing anything whatsoever about it. I didn’t care for the rhythm of the book. It was as if a teenager wrote it for other teenagers.
My boyfriend had schizophrenia so I thought it would be a good read but I didn’t care for it.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-09-23
Good but Confusing
I did my best to follow along, trying to understand what was going on and I did for a majority but there was so much towards the end it got so so confused what was going on cause there was no describing but just thoughts, tons of random thoughts. I get its the point but I wish I also was able to have some understanding so it would hit deeper. Also the narrator was fine, but it was super annoying when she got SO LOUD I had to turn the volume down.
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- Andrea
- 12-29-21
Not the Best
Struggled to finish. Didn't like the narrator. Very Repetitive and the story moves slow.
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- Scott Swanson
- 10-05-22
Intense Story
I have to admit I found this story a struggle to listen to at times. I felt the main character's disconnect with reality to be distracting, but obviously this was the point.
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- marshall p
- 09-28-23
Beautifully written and very relatable
As someone who has struggled with mental illness for most of my life, this was honestly a tough read, but SO worth it. I loved the author's writing style, and the narrator did a wonderful job! Both the narrator and the author kept me engaged and wanting more. I fell in love with the characters throughout this book... I would definitely recommend it! 10/10
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- V
- 07-13-24
Perfect!
I Loved it! Wonderfully written and performed! The acknowledgment at the end was amazing. I am obsessed with this book!
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-22-21
Absolutely amazing book
Loved it . Keep me engaged and not wanting to put the book down!!.
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- jennifer robinson
- 11-04-23
Sad
This was an interesting story. It was very depressing and I felt some of the storyline was not tied together at the end.
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- Lacie Simmons
- 12-04-23
Amazing
The author captured Biz’s illness beautifully. Mental illness is more common than one might think. I don’t even have proper words to describe how tragically amazing this book is. Read it!
You all matter. You are all loved.
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