-
This Book Is Full of Spiders
- Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (John Dies at the End, Book 2)
- Narrated by: Nick Podehl
- Length: 14 hrs and 49 mins
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Publisher's summary
From David Wong, the writer of the cult sensation John Dies at the End comes another terrifying and hilarious tale of almost Armageddon at the hands of two hopeless heroes.
Warning: You may have a huge, invisible spider living in your skull. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR.
You will dismiss this as ridiculous fear-mongering. Dismissing things as ridiculous fear-mongering is, in fact, the first symptom of parasitic spider infection - the creature stimulates skepticism, in order to prevent you from seeking a cure. That's just as well, since the "cure" involves learning what a chainsaw tastes like. You can't feel the spider, because it controls your nerve endings. You won't even feel it when it breeds. And it will breed.
Just stay calm, and remember that telling you about the spider situation is not the same as having caused it. I'm just the messenger. Even if I did sort of cause it. Either way, I won't hold it against you if you're upset. I know that's just the spider talking.
"Like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it." –Washington Post
"Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you." –SF Signal
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Super supernatural thriller
- By shelley on 02-02-14
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The Remaining
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....
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Die Hard Meets 28 Days Later
- By G Wallace on 01-10-14
By: D. J. Molles
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Past Crimes
- A Van Shaw Novel
- By: Glen Erik Hamilton
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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From the time he was six years old, Van Shaw was raised by his Irish immigrant grandfather, Donovan, to be a thief - to boost cars, beat security alarms, crack safes, and burglarize businesses. But at 18 Dono's namesake and protégé suddenly broke all ties to that life and the people in it. Van escaped into the military, serving as an elite army ranger in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, after ten years of silence, Dono has asked his grandson to come home to Seattle.
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15 Stars! Okay?
- By Ted on 03-06-16
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Allison Hewitt Is Trapped
- A Zombie Novel
- By: Madeleine Roux
- Narrated by: Piper Goodeve
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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One woman's story as she blogs about - and fights back against - the zombie apocalypse.
Allison Hewitt and her five colleagues at the Brooks and Peabody Bookstore are trapped together when the zombie outbreak hits. Allison reaches out for help through her blog, writing on her laptop. It may also be her only chance to reach her mother. But as the reality of their situation sinks in, Allison's blog becomes a harrowing account of her edge-of-the-seat adventures.
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lots of potential but disappointing
- By Linda B on 04-29-11
By: Madeleine Roux
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The Brotherhood of the Wheel
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 14 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In AD 1119, a group of nine crusaders became known as the Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon - a militant monastic order charged with protecting pilgrims and caravans traveling on the roads to and from the Holy Land. In time, the Knights Templar would grow in power and, ultimately, be laid low. But a small offshoot of the Templars endure and have returned to the order's original mission: to defend the roads of the world and guard those who travel on them.
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Epic Battle Brewing
- By Doug D. Eigsti on 03-29-16
By: R. S. Belcher
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900 Miles
- A Zombie Novel
- By: S. Johnathan Davis
- Narrated by: Jamison Jones
- Length: 7 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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John is a killer, but that wasn't his day job before the Apocalypse. In a harrowing 900-mile race against time to get to his wife just as the dead begin to rise, John, a businessman trapped in New York, soon learns that the zombies are the least of his worries, as he sees firsthand the horror of what man is capable of with no rules, no consequences, and death at every turn. Teaming up with an ex-army pilot named Kyle, they escape New York only to stumble across a man who says that he has the key to a rumored underground stronghold called Avalon....
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A "road story"--with zombies!
- By Lesley on 09-30-14
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The Long Way Down
- Daniel Faust, Book 1
- By: Craig Schaefer
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Nobody knows the seedy underbelly of Las Vegas like Daniel Faust, a sorcerer for hire and ex-gangster who uses black magic and bullets to solve his clients' problems. When an old man comes seeking vengeance for his murdered granddaughter, what looks like a simple job quickly spirals out of control. Soon Daniel stands in the crossfire between a murderous porn director; a corrupt cop with a quick trigger finger; and his own former employer, a racket boss who isn't entirely human.
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Urban fantasy noir. Done right..
- By Cliff on 02-19-15
By: Craig Schaefer
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Under a Graveyard Sky
- Black Tide Rising, Book 1
- By: John Ringo
- Narrated by: Tristan Morris
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Zombies are real. And we made them. Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? The Smith family is, with the help of a few marines. When an airborne "zombie" plague is released, bringing civilization to a grinding halt, the Smith family, Steven, Stacey, Sophia, and Faith, take to the Atlantic to avoid the chaos. The plan is to find a safe haven from the anarchy of infected humanity. What they discover, instead, is a sea composed of the tears of survivors and a passion for bringing hope.
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Sorry to say....not so good. :(
- By Chris on 03-07-14
By: John Ringo
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Monster Hunter International
- By: Larry Correia
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 24 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Five days after Owen Zastava Pitt pushed his insufferable boss out of a 14th story window, he woke up in the hospital with a scarred face, an unbelievable memory, and a job offer. It turns out that monsters are real. All the things from myth, legend, and B-movies are out there, waiting in the shadows. Some of them are evil, and some are just hungry. Monster Hunter International is the premier eradication company in the business. And now Owen is their newest recruit.
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Suprizingly entertaining
- By Konstantin on 02-17-12
By: Larry Correia
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13 Bullets
- A Vampire Tale
- By: David Wellington
- Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne
- Length: 11 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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All the official reports say they are dead—extinct since the late ’80s, when a fed named Arkeley nailed the last vampire in a fight that nearly killed him. But Arkeley knows what most people don’t: there is one left. In an abandoned asylum she is rotting, plotting, and biding her time in a way that only the undead can. When state trooper Laura Caxton calls the FBI looking for help in the middle of the night, it is Arkeley who gets the assignment.
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HER LARYNX ROTTED AWAY YEARS AGO
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-20-16
By: David Wellington
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Pandemonium
- By: Daryl Gregory
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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It is a world like our own in every respect, save one. In the 1950s, random acts of possession begin to occur. Ordinary men, women, and children are the targets of entities that seem to spring from the depths of the collective unconscious, pop-cultural avatars some call demons. As a boy, Del Pierce is possessed by the Hellion, an entity whose mischief-making can be deadly. With the help of Del's family and a caring psychiatrist, the demon is exorcised... or is it?
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The images connected so well, Written to take my mind places
- By Anonymous User on 09-24-24
By: Daryl Gregory
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Gone
- Gone Series, Book 1
- By: Michael Grant
- Narrated by: Kyle McCarley
- Length: 17 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the blink of an eye, everyone disappears. Gone. Except for the young. There are teens, but not one single adult. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no Internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened. Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents - unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers - that grow stronger by the day. It's a terrifying new world.
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Please rerelease this book w new narration
- By Kim on 02-12-17
By: Michael Grant
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The Dirty Secrets Club
- A Novel (Jo Beckett, Book 1)
- By: Meg Gardiner
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
An ongoing string of high-profile and very public murder-suicides has San Francisco even more rattled than a string of recent earthquakes: A flamboyant fashion designer burns to death, clutching the body of his murdered lover. A superstar 49er jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. And most shocking of all, a U.S. attorney launches her BMW off a highway overpass, killing herself and three others.
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Hated it
- By Maureen on 07-10-08
By: Meg Gardiner
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Great book, but better when read than listened
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Mr. CreepyPasta Narration is better
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Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
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A good story ruined by a bad narration.
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What listeners say about This Book Is Full of Spiders
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- C Yohe
- 04-26-13
Holy Velvet Jesus Painting, My Jimmies Are Rustled
This book is better written then David Wong's last novel, John Dies At The End. Which was a fun read. Unlike his last, when the plot ambles, it's more on purpose, concise, cleaner, and he doesn't use periods of gross out horror slapstick to cover weak points in the story. There's still gross out horror, but it's intuitive. I mean, it's a book about sentient spiders. Uggghhuuuhhuuherr Blahhhh, my skin is crawling!
I can't remember the last time I was wide awake at 4 AM glaring at shadows in my room, certain that they would suddenly move. Maybe when I was eight? Or since the last time I watched Army of Darkness?
Don't judge. It was scary. I normally don't like horror, but when you get midway through this book you almost have to keep listening, you have to have the narrator tell you that the spiders are taken care of, and that everything will be okay. It's that well written. This book was like a literary roller coaster, terrifying, with just the right kind of humor and humanity to make it exciting. There are some really good intuitions of the human condition, including Wong's take on the Babel Effect, without getting too preachy. The alternate point of views is really interesting, as you get to see situations from every perspective. I would definitely recommend this book.
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63 people found this helpful
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- mike holm
- 04-29-19
I absolutely loved this book
the performance was amazing! the story was great, this is easily my favorite audiobook. I play this in the car for my friends that use to think audio books were lame. my buddy listened for ten hours straight on our way to denver. he kept asking me to put the story back on
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- Roger
- 12-19-17
Deep thought wrapped in comic horror
Love his works. Just as with John Dies at the End, deep thought is wrapped in comedic horror fiction. The Dunbar Number and how that applies to stereotype, our affinity to loving to hate zombies, and the thoughts contained therein were wonderful, thought provoking ideas wrapped neatly into an easy to read story.
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- L
- 05-12-17
awesome
great mix of dark and suspenseful planar fiction, dark humor, and just the right amount of occasional fart and dick jokes
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- Andrew
- 05-09-16
Enjoyed it thoroughly
The story was very imaginative shifting in ways to keep the reader interested and guessing. The performance was on point and definitely assisted in my own imagining and understanding of the story. I have a few minor complaints though. It felt a little less connected than the first novel and I felt a sense of some loose ends lingering about. Overall, if you like silly, horrifying, thought-provoking, cringe-inducing stories, this is for you.
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- Bradmartin78
- 03-09-15
Awesome
A true original. looking forward to the next book in the future or anything else that David Wong bus out.
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- Virago
- 10-20-17
I. Hate. This. Book. Okay, not really...
...but the ending, which I won't spoil, was upsetting.
So let me tell you, this book was well and truly full of spiders. Gross. It made me shudder just reading about them!!!! This sequel was all together creepier, and more serious than it's predecessor. John Dies At The End, while creepy, and it had it's sad parts, was a lot lighter and more humorous. Things in this book escalated quickly. Stuff got serious within the first chapter or two.
It doesn't take away from the book at all. This was equally good, and it was evident that things clearly had to get worse this time around. John and Dave are thrown into save-the-world situations, again, only this time they get separated and have to work toward the same goals while apart. It definitely made for some anxious moments and the reader routing for them to make their way back together.
There was still humor, and John and Dave's shenanigans will probably always be epic. I am very much looking forward to the next installment!
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- lucky dog
- 08-25-16
This review is full of exclamation marks!!!
Terrific story, likable characters, really great narration, and a lovable dog. I liked this book, A LOT, and am adding it to my 'listen to regularly' list. And as promised, here are the exclamation marks!!!!!!!!!
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- Patrick O'Brien
- 12-09-16
This book is full of awesome.
I'm a longtime fan of David Wong. I originally read John Dies at the End way back in its original version. I had the Permuted Press edition. It's very nearly my favorite book.
I say nearly, because This Book is Full of Spiders surpassed the original. I can hardly wait for the next chronicle in the zany adventures of John and Dave.
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- Stephen
- 01-14-13
Awesome
Would you listen to This Book Is Full of Spiders again? Why?
Yes, but in a year or so, to let the story regain its novelty. Truly a funny book. I snorted my drink out of my nose while driving, because I was laughing.
What about Nick Podehl’s performance did you like?
His delivery was fantastic. He has the sarcastic, self-deprecating voice of David down pat, and he really brought the characters to life. He acted out the characters personalities; David is different from John, in a way that both characters were clearly different people, with different motivations. Their conversations are truly comic. His delivery of some of the jokes could not be better. The plot twists and turns around ridiculous events, but he holds it together so that it is not just entertaining, it is possibly maybe believable that something like this happened and there really are a John and a David in a town called UNDISCLOSED... okay. It wasn't real. I know that. Shut up. Great narrator, though.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
Yep
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