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Toddlers Are A**holes
- It's Not Your Fault
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 3 hrs and 24 mins
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Publisher's summary
Toddler a**holery is a normal part of human development - not unlike puberty, except this stage involves throwing food on the floor and taking swings at people who pay your way in life. For parents of toddlers, it's a "you better laugh so you don't cry" period.
Bunmi Laditan's hilarious, satirical guide to toddlerhood offers parents instant (and very welcome) comic relief - along with the very good news that It's Not Your Fault. Chapters cover the cost of raising a toddler, feeding your toddler, potty training, tantrums, how to manage the holidays, and "how not to die inside". Parents will see themselves in the very funny sections on taking your toddler to restaurants ("One parent will spend their time walking your toddler around the restaurant and outside like a cocker spaniel, while the other, luckier parent will eat alone."), things you thought you'd never say that you now say as a parent of a toddler ("I can tell you're pooping because your eyes are watering."), and how to order pizza ("Spend $40 on pizza delivery. Listen to your toddler cry for 30 minutes about how the pizza is all wrong. Watch your toddler take a small bite of crust. Google 'can anger give you a heart attack?' Start the bedtime routine.").
Laditan's wildly funny voice has attracted hundreds of thousands of fans of Honest Toddler on social media; here she speaks parent to tired parent, easing the pains and challenges of raising toddlers with a hefty dose of adult humor and wit.
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Number-one New York Times best-selling author Laurie Notaro isn't exactly a domestic goddess - unless that means she fully embraces her genetic hoarding predisposition, sneaks peeks at her husband's daily journal, or has made a list of the people she wants on her Apocalypse Survival team (her husband's not on it). Notaro chronicles her chronic misfortune in the domestic arts, including cooking, cleaning, and putting on Spanx while sweaty (which should technically qualify as an Olympic sport).
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Wonderful
- By Carlie on 07-28-16
By: Laurie Notaro
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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I Just Want You to Know
- Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family
- By: Kate Gosselin
- Narrated by: Kate Gosselin
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In I Just Want You to Know, New York Times best-selling author Kate Gosselin continues her story of faith and family, picking up where her first book, Multiple Blessings, ended. Using excerpts and written prayers from her actual journal, Kate offers an intimate look at the heart of a mother during the three years her family transitioned from obscurity into television fame.
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This was a good book
- By lisa m schumann on 01-03-22
By: Kate Gosselin
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Goodbye, Vitamin
- A Novel
- By: Rachel Khong
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Freshly disengaged from her fiancé and feeling that life has not turned out quite the way she planned, 30-year-old Ruth quits her job, leaves town, and arrives at her parents' home to find that situation more complicated than she'd realized. Her father, a prominent history professor, is losing his memory and is only erratically lucid. Ruth's mother, meanwhile, is lucidly erratic.
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Hello Sweet Sweet Book
- By Syd Young on 08-06-17
By: Rachel Khong
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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I Regret Nothing
- A Memoir
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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New York Times best-selling author Jen Lancaster has lived a life based on re-invention and self-improvement. From Bitter Is the New Black to The Tao of Martha, she’s managed to document her (and her generation’s) attempts to shape up, grow up, and have it all - sometimes with disastrous results...Mistakes are one thing; regrets are another. After a girls’ weekend in Savannah makes her realize that she is - yikes! - middle-aged (binge watching is so the new binge drinking), Jen decides to make a bucket list and seize the day.
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The Smug Is Strong With This One
- By T. Filowitz on 05-24-15
By: Jen Lancaster
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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50 Things to Do Before You Deliver
- The First-Time Mom's Pregnancy Guide for Your Baby, Your Body, and Your Sanity
- By: Jill Krause
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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First-time moms have plenty to be grateful for - and plenty to worry about. Centered on what’s most important to expecting moms, 50 Things to Do Before You Deliver narrows the vast field of pregnancy advice to 50 specific, proactive steps for confidence and peace of mind before baby arrives. Unlike other pregnancy books for first-time moms, this book includes only what is necessary and helpful and leaves out the rest.
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Not practical
- By Sarah Feehily on 08-26-20
By: Jill Krause
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Chasing Slow
- By: Erin Loechner
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Chasing Slow models HGTV star Erin Loechner's journey to help you break out of the faster-better-stronger trap and make small changes to refresh your perspective, renew your priorities, and shift your focus to what matters most.
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Book is wonderful - narrator completely ruins it
- By Gail on 05-22-17
By: Erin Loechner
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My Planet
- Finding Humor in the Oddest Places
- By: Mary Roach
- Narrated by: Angela Dawe
- Length: 4 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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Something Spectacular
- The True Story of One Rockette’s Battle with Bulimia
- By: Greta Gleissner
- Narrated by: Dina Pearlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Greta Gleissner, a longtime professional dancer, dreamed her whole life of becoming a Rockette. Then she became one and she fell into the grips of a powerful eating disorder that began poison her life from the inside out. Something Spectacular is Gleissner's raw, personal chronicle of the devastating effects bulimia exacts upon her life during her time as a Rockette. As her disorder takes over, she begins to lead a dual life: happy-go-lucky on the outside; tortured by obsessive, self-destructive voices on the inside
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A Good Memoir, Badly Narrated
- By NNN on 10-09-17
By: Greta Gleissner
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We’re in the midst of a parenting revolution that is radically changing the way we raise our kids. Gone are the days of minimizing emotions: Don’t Cry. You’re Fine. Don’t Make a Scene. As our understanding of developing brains has increased, today’s parents are looking for a new way to help their children understand their feelings and learn to process them.
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Good job Dallas!
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Anxiety is a survival skill gone haywire. It happens when our brain is working so hard to protect us that it forgets to notice that the danger has passed. It feels like choking, stifling, smothering, tingling, panicking - our brains cut out and we start to make bad decisions - all normal anxiety reactions. Dr. Faith G. Harper, author of the best-selling This is Your Brain on Depression packs a ton of knowledge and help into this practical manual.
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Not for me
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Confessions of a Domestic Failure
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There are good moms and bad moms - and then there are hot-mess moms. Introducing Ashley Keller, career girl turned stay-at-home mom who's trying to navigate the world of Pinterest-perfect, Facebook-fantastic, and Instagram-impressive mommies but failing miserably.
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Narrator overacted... first book I've returned to audible
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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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This best-selling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships.
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Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
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Bringing Up Bébé
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The secret behind France's astonishingly well-behaved children is here. When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent". French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special. But French children are far better behaved and more in command of themselves than American kids....
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Inspiring
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What listeners say about Toddlers Are A**holes
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- D Whervs
- 07-10-16
laugh out loud
This book gave a funny realistic interpretation of raising a toddler and whereas not everything applied to me I appreciate that I'm not the only mommy who feels overwhelmed at times.
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- Emily
- 07-25-19
if you need a good laugh
Lots of relatable hilarious moments! however the satire got a little much by the end, as there was no break.
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- Sheila Daniels
- 04-30-21
Loved This Audio
This audio was funny and true. Experiences were very true to life daily events. As a grand parent i can relate.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-11-22
F…..ing hilarious
So I rarely give reviews, I just don’t have the time, but this book is hilarious!! I have a four year old bonus child and my husband and I are trying for our own together. That being said, I am a toddler parent and a working women. ANYONE should read this book; to lighten up, have a laugh, or get prospective. Slowish start…but HELL OF A BOOK with a fabulous commentator. I just laughed SUPER out loud in the gym while on the elliptical! READ IT!
Ps-even my man’s man sexy husband is reading it!
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- Danielle Lopez
- 10-16-23
Laughed so hard I cried
Thank you felt a huge weight lifting off my shoulders when listening to this book. My kid entered the terrible two phase around 18mths. Still have a ways to go with her in this phase so it’s been rough. Good to have a laugh it’s been awhile now….much needed!!!
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- Amazon Customer
- 12-24-19
Loved it
I really enjoyed this audio book! OMG! I could relate to almost everything. My daughters are grown up now, but this book took me way back. Thank you for the laughs. Hilarious material. Great performance!
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- Jessica Newman
- 09-18-19
This book is HYSTERICAL!!!!!
This book is so funny! If you have a toddler you have to read it!
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- FrozenYak
- 08-03-18
Hilariously Accurate...
If you don’t have a sense of humor this isn’t for you. If you feed your kid chia seeds and organic goat cheese instead of Cheetos and string cheese, this isn’t for you. It flows more like a comedy set and isn’t a self help book, it’s more validation that you are human and reinforces that you’re not sh*tty parent because you at times give up and give in to your little a-hole. I enjoyed it best at 1.25x speed.
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- Laura G
- 09-14-18
Extreme, but funny at times
Struggled to finish this one. The overarching premises are true, but the toddler in the story seems to be the worst possible depiction of every toddler struggle, with lots of swearing and alcohol included by the writer as a solution and way of life to cope.
The narrator is tough- its better sped up; I used 1.3x. Her voice comes across condescending and slow initially. So much attitude, I have a hard time relating throughout.
That said, several parts made me chuckle, and take my toddler's fits and struggles with a little better perspective.
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- Stevie
- 09-01-22
Loved it.
Loved it. Let's a real toddler mom know she's not alone, that there is more of us then the fake moms out there. lol
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