
We Over Me
The Counterintuitive Approach to Getting Everything You Want from Your Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Khadeen Ellis
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Devale Ellis
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The stars of the social media show The Ellises and hosts of the Webby Award-winning podcast Dead Ass with K&D share the core pillars of their relationship as millennial lovers and parents that have allowed them to thrive.
“Staying married in this day and age takes a whole different mindset, and this book gives an intimate and honest look at the inner workings of their strong union.”—Gia Peppers, award-winning journalist and host
After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants. Choosing service over selfishness will not only make your relationship stronger, but it will help you achieve your own goals and build a legacy together.
With their trademark transparency and humor, Khadeen and Devale share the messy, behind-the-scenes work of what it takes to succeed and support one another in their search for individual purpose while growing in their marriage. They discuss family, parenting, sex and intimacy, finances, and commitment, with honest advice threaded through their stories, such as:
- Stop comparing yourselves to other couples and make your own rules.
- Learn how to function as a team.
- Keep talking about sex.
- The kids ain’t first.
The Ellises might not have all the answers, but they do know that good love takes friendship, grace, and service. Their personal and relatable truths will inspire you to be the kind of partner you want to be so you can build a supportive, enduring relationship.
©2023 Devale Ellis and Khadeen Ellis (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Khadeen and Devale Ellis’s story shows that marriage can be a bumpy ride, but if you can laugh and cry together, argue fairly, and put we over me, you'll be on your way to long-lasting love and commitment.”—Tiffany “The Budgetnista” Aliche, New York Times bestselling author of Get Good with Money
“Putting we over me is a concept that we have applied to our relationship for twenty-five years. Khadeen and Devale are great examples for how loving, playful, devoted, and business minded your relationship can be. Intentionally doing it all together and consistently putting the we over me. We are certain their testimony will inspire you and activate your relationship to mirror what they model.”—Dondré Whitfield and Salli Richardson Whitfield, actors
“The Ellis’s story shows that while marriage can be a bumpy ride, it can also be unbelievably beautiful if you learn how to argue constructively, put we over me, and remember to have a little fun along the way. This book will have you laughing and crying, and it’s a must-read for couples and singles who want the best out of their relationship (or who just want to be entertained)!”—Tommy and Codie Elaine Oliver, founders of Black Love, Inc.
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Lies about marriage are rampant in our culture and the church. They’re killing marriages. But the corresponding truths can strengthen marriages and even save the most troubled relationships. In this audiobook, marriage experts Greg Smalley and Robert Paul identify the lies, explain how they work to destroy marriages, and reveal the truths that not only can improve marriages, but rescue those that are floundering.
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Not new, contradictory and biblically inaccurate
- By thor on 04-07-21
By: Greg Smalley, and others
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Girl, Wash Your Face
- Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- By: Rachel Hollis
- Narrated by: Rachel Hollis
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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As the founder of the lifestyle website TheChicSite.com and CEO of her own media company, Rachel Hollis developed an immense online community by sharing tips for better living while fearlessly revealing the messiness of her own life. Now, in this challenging and inspiring new book, Rachel exposes the 20 lies and misconceptions that too often hold us back from living joyfully and productively.
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More for women who are mothers
- By MeredithNCSU girl on 04-07-18
By: Rachel Hollis
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Pride Over Pity
- By: Kailyn Lowry
- Narrated by: Renee Chambliss
- Length: 5 hrs and 18 mins
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Fans of MTV's Teen Mom have watched Kailyn Lowry grow from a vulnerable, pregnant teen into a fiercely independent young mother. Through it all Kailyn has faced challenges with her head held high and her spirit intact. In a moving effort to finally put the past behind her, Kailyn shares her troubled, often painful story and reveals the dark secrets she has so closely guarded.
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Ridiculous
- By Anonymous User on 08-25-18
By: Kailyn Lowry
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Letters to a Young Sister
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- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
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Winner of two NAACP awards for his writing, bestselling author Hill Harper is an acclaimed actor known for his role on CSI: NY. A Brown University and Harvard Law School alum, Harper is also a passionate public servant. In this book he offers comforting advice for today's youth through his own wisdom as well as that of such luminaries as Michelle Obama and Angela Bassett.
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Keep writing young brother.
- By Charles Henderson on 03-02-10
By: Harper Hill
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What a Difference a Mom Makes
- The Indelible Imprint a Mom Leaves on Her Son's Life
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- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
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Boys will be boys - always. And no one has a more powerful impact on them than you, Mom. Surprise! Your boy wants to please you, and he cares deeply about what you think. Those driving needs will stay with him throughout his lifetime. That gives you, Mom, a lot of influence over your son. You can set him up for success in life. In What a Difference a Mom Makes, the New York Times best-selling author Dr. Kevin Leman reveals how you can make a positive imprint on your son - from the moment you first hold him in your arms until the moment he leaves for college. And the best news? It's never too late to start.
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Overall some solid advice - would recommend to new moms of boys
- By Tania on 04-12-20
By: Kevin Leman
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The Girls Who Went Away
- The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade
- By: Ann Fessler
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 12 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In this deeply moving and myth-shattering work, Ann Fessler brings out into the open for the first time the astonishing untold history of the million and a half women who surrendered children for adoption due to enormous family and social pressure in the decades before Roe v. Wade.
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Sad but True ... and Helpful
- By Kim Kavanagh on 01-05-17
By: Ann Fessler
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Walking on Eggshells
- Navigating the Delicate Relationship Between Adult Children and Parents
- By: Jane Isay
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
- By tammy alvarez on 01-13-19
By: Jane Isay
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First Things First
- The Rules of Being a Warner
- By: Kurt Warner, Brenda Warner, Jennifer Schuchmann - contributor
- Narrated by: Todd Busteed, Rebecca Gallagher, Abigail Seward
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
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First Things First is an honest, insightful, and entertaining look at life inside the Warner household. Kurt and Brenda speak candidly about their marriage, the values they are working to instill in their kids, things they've done right, mistakes they've made, the importance of giving back, and the legacy they hope to leave behind.
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A must read!!
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-18
By: Kurt Warner, and others
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The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
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Different people with different personalities express love in different ways. In fact, there are five very specific languages of love: Words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Dr. Gary Chapman’s original best seller was first crafted with married couples in mind, but the love languages have proven themselves to be universal. The message of this audiobook is now tailored to meet the unique and real desires of single adults.
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String conservative Christian message
- By CMD on 03-24-20
By: Gary Chapman
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Say Yes to What’s Next
- How to Age with Elegance and Class While Never Losing Your Beauty and Sass!
- By: Lori Allen
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- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
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Women today are facing so much uncertainty - about life and the future. The need to pivot is stronger than ever, but many of us feel powerless to change or simply don’t know how to take that essential first step. For Lori Allen, business owner, breast cancer survivor, and star of TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta, these vital life lessons are the inspiration for her new book. Say Yes to What’s Next is more than just a guide for our best tomorrows, it’s the beginning of a life-makeover movement for women of all ages.
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Every woman approaching her 50s and beyond should have this book in her arsenal!
- By Julie C. on 08-04-20
By: Lori Allen
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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The Man I Never Met
- A Memoir
- By: Adam Schefter
- Narrated by: Adam Schefter
- Length: 4 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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On September 11, 2001, Joe Maio went to work in the north tower of the World Trade Center. He never returned, leaving behind a wife, Sharri, and 15-month old son, Devon. Five years later, Sharri remarried, and Devon welcomed a new dad into his life. For thousands, the whole country really, 9/11 is a day of grief. For Adam and Sharri Maio Schefter and their family it’s not just a day of grief, but also hope. This is a story of 9/11, but it’s also the story of 9/12 and all the days after. Life moved on. Pieces were picked up. New dreams were dreamed. The Schefters are the embodiment of that.
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Remembering a fallen father thru a family
- By Bob H on 09-07-18
By: Adam Schefter
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The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
- Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity
- By: Meg Meeker M.D.
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
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Friendship. Simplicity. Love. Value. Faith. Solitude. Money. Fear. Hope. Purpose. Dr. Meg Meeker has seen mothers struggle with these 10 issues for the past 25 years, and she has also learned how to help them live less stressful, happier, more fulfilling lives. The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers will show women how to reduce loneliness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem by inspiring women to embrace more positive emotions and habits.
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Recommend the book but had hard time listening to
- By Kaletra Dispennett on 12-25-16
By: Meg Meeker M.D.
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Important topic but flawed insofar as it claims to want to reach a general audience
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Emma Lovewell is a star instructor at Peloton, a global fitness brand and media content company, but her journey to success began with a simple realization: Change is inevitable, but growth is optional. She chose to grow. In Live Learn Love Well, she shares the moments in her life that shaped her into the woman she is today.
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- Freddrick Smooth
- 04-30-23
I enjoyed every minute of this book
Great F*&KING Book! About to run it back right after this review. Lol shout out to Khadeen and Devale
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- MoetLovesFood
- 04-24-23
I absolutely loved it!
You guys story is just awesome! I hope you guys can write another book in 20 more years.💜
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-23-23
Informative
A book that was informative and enlightening. Need it for today’s generation. Awesome and professional
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2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 01-09-24
This book is great
As a single woman I still love hearing about to navigate and develop healthy relationships
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1 person found this helpful
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- Maia
- 02-10-23
Great book
This is a fantastic book and I love listening to a beautiful Brooklyn love story.
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- Tracey L
- 02-25-23
Faith, Family, Friends and Work Ethic’
Great background on their relationship and wise words on multigenerational homes and relationships. I will listen to this again.
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- Jamie Rembert
- 02-13-23
Priceless information
Very good read, and I definitely would recommend people to read it whether they are single or in a relationship. I look forward to handing this over to my son one day. He’s only 15 now, so I got some time. But the gems that they gave us are priceless.
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- Tomiko White
- 02-24-23
Wonderful Read
Your story is so inspiring. I thank you for sharing your lives with us. Speaking much continued success into you.
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- Blessed D
- 02-19-23
Unconditional Love!!💜
Thank you for sharing your journey. Your commitment to your marriage and family is truly amazing! Keep on showing up great for each other.
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- Mrs. Daniels
- 02-10-23
Amazing
I loved this book and story and love how they let us in their lives and was so open about everything!
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