The Book of Boundaries
Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
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Narrated by:
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Melissa Urban
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By:
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Melissa Urban
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER FROM THE CO-FOUNDER OF THE WHOLE30 • End resentment, burnout, and anxiety—and reclaim your time, energy, health, and relationships.
“Melissa Urban shows the way forward with clarity, vulnerability, and humor.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of Life in Five Senses
Melissa Urban has helped millions of people transform their relationship with food. Now, in this powerful and practical guide, she shows how boundaries—clear limits you set to protect your energy, time, and health—are the key to feelings of security, confidence, and freedom in every area of your life.
In her famously direct and compassionate style, Urban offers:
• 130+ scripts with language you can use to set boundaries with bosses and co-workers, romantic partners, parents and in-laws, co-parents, friends, family, neighbors, strangers—and yourself
• Actionable advice to help you communicate your needs with clarity and compassion
• Tips for successfully navigating boundary guilt, pushback, pressure, and oversteps
• Techniques to create healthy habits around food, drink, technology, and more
User-friendly and approachable, The Book of Boundaries will give you the tools you need to stop justifying, minimizing, and apologizing, leading you to more rewarding relationships and a life that feels bigger, healthier, and freer.
ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: Mindful
©2022 Melissa Urban (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
* A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER *
One of:
Amazon’s “Best business and leadership books of 2022”
SheDoesTheCity’s “10 Comforting Items For Your Winter Healing Cocoon”
“I always tell my therapy patients that boundaries create trust, comfort, and safety in a relationship, but many people struggle with how to effectively communicate what they need. In The Book of Boundaries, Melissa Urban helps you identify your boundary needs, offers actionable scripts on what to say, and shares proven tips based on a decade of experience helping people live more freely by holding their limits with confidence."—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone
“The Book of Boundaries is funny, direct, and smart, bringing you actionable tools and science-backed strategies for setting boundaries using language that feels kind, natural, and empowering. Melissa’s straightforward scripts and practical tips makes it easy to identify your limits and communicate them with confidence, so you can start putting yourself first and create a life that feels bigger, freer, and more authentically YOU.”—Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Second Rule
“Helpful as hell and lovingly direct, Melissa Urban is the boundaries big sister we all so desperately need. Through her insightful advice and easy-to-follow scripts, Urban teaches you how to stand up for yourself without walling yourself off from the people you love.”—Tara Schuster, author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
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Hosts of the award-winning Whine Down podcast, Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin explore the raw and real moments of their marriage - what it means to love, to fight, and to sincerely forgive - with spiritual guidance and practical advice for anyone seeking stronger, more fulfilling love.
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Could’ve been a short article and not a book
- By J Klay on 11-01-20
By: Jana Kramer, and others
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
- Seven Steps to Saving Your Relationship
- By: Andrew G. Marshall
- Narrated by: Andrew G. Marshall
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
- By Christopher on 05-09-19
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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How to Get Sh*t Done
- Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything
- By: Erin Falconer
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally, in the first productivity book by a woman in a decade, Erin Falconer will show you how to do less - a lot less. In fact, How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to offload, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest. In How to Get Sh*t Done she shows how even the most perfectionistic among us can tap in to our inner free spirit and learn to feel like badasses rather than drudges.
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Not What I Expected
- By Justin Jones on 02-05-18
By: Erin Falconer
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I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better
- Six Practical Principles That Empower Others to Solve Their Own Problems While Enriching Your Relationships
- By: Gary Lundberg, Joy Lundberg
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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In their weekly radio show and in their popular workshops, Gary and Joy Lundberg have already helped thousands of people and their families to communicate more effectively. Now, the Lundbergs address an all too common dilemma that arises when others expect you to solve their problems for them, telling listeners how they can shed the no-win role of "fixer" and empower people to solve their own problems through validation - a simple yet profound communication tool that is essential to any healthy relationship.
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Emotional Intelligent!
- By GLSwanger on 12-12-23
By: Gary Lundberg, and others
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The Kindness Challenge
- Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Shaunti Feldhahn helps listeners transform any relationship by making three small changes! In a new approach for Shaunti, this book is a cross between a major research study, a self-help book, and a daily step-by-step habit-building plan. It shows listeners how to apply the surprising relationship insights revealed in her earlier million-copy best sellers, why certain actions matter so much, and a specific 30-day plan on what to do to build a very simple habit that will change any relationship for the better.
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Challenge Accepted!
- By SoS1234 on 01-11-17
By: Shaunti Feldhahn
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When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable
- How to Break the Pattern of People Pleasing and Confidently Live Your Life
- By: Karen Ehman, Lysa TerKeurst
- Narrated by: Karen Ehman
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Making Others Happy Is Making You Miserable shares the refreshing, heartfelt lessons that Karen learned firsthand during her own journey of breaking free from people pleasing in order to live out her God-given purpose. Let Karen be your new go-to guide as you learn to successfully break the destructive pattern of people pleasing and start fully embracing the life God has called you to lead.
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Warning: Extremely Christian!
- By ~K*Sea~ on 02-26-22
By: Karen Ehman, and others
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Becoming Super Woman
- A Simple 12-Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance
- By: Nicole Lapin
- Narrated by: Nicole Lapin
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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It's time to stop putting yourself at the bottom of every to-do list and start taking care of yourself first. It's time to leave Superwoman in the movies, where she belongs, and say hello to being a super woman - the best, most productive version of the hero you already are.
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Easy Listen and advice that is actually useful
- By Sean E. Huie on 10-21-19
By: Nicole Lapin
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Why Mars and Venus Collide
- Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
- By: John Gray
- Narrated by: John Gray
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
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Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress.
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Very insightful & evokative for introspection
- By Amazon Customer on 02-04-12
By: John Gray
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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30 Lessons for Loving
- Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage
- By: Karl Pillemer Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Based on the most detailed survey of long married people ever conducted, 30 Lessons for Loving shows the way to lifelong, fulfilling relationships. The author, an internationally renowned gerontologist at Cornell University, offers sage advice from the oldest and wisest Americans on everything from finding a partner, to deciding to commit, to growing old together.
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Our Elders Really are the Experts!
- By Cher Finnan on 12-29-15
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Super You
- Release Your Inner Superhero
- By: Emily Gordon
- Narrated by: Emily Gordon
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Superheroes don't start from glorious beginnings. Their origins are almost always marked by traumatic events that leave them helpless and scared. Batman witnessed his parents' murder. Superman was sent away from his dying planet with no one to guide him as he grew up. Orphaned Catwoman was forced to steal food to survive on the streets of Gotham. What makes these superheroes super is their determination to not be defined by helplessness. They embrace their origins, their flaws, and their mistakes and strive every day to become the best versions of themselves.
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A wonderful book filled with empathy and humanity.
- By Vincent on 10-06-15
By: Emily Gordon
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How Did I Get So Busy?
- The 28-Day Plan to Free Your Time and Reconnect with What Matters Most
- By: Valorie Burton
- Narrated by: Valorie Burton
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
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Valorie Burton's How Did I Get So Busy? is the solution for anyone who feels perpetually overwhelmed and overworked: a simple, effective 28-day program to help you rediscover your true priorities, shift out of overdrive, and reclaim your life and schedule.
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Need a tool that will change your life? Read this!
- By Antonio Regusters on 01-11-18
By: Valorie Burton
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Buy the hard cover book
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
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my fav Maxwell book
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The Dance of Connection
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Listen at 1.5x speed
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Setting Boundaries to Find Peace with Narcissists & Codependents
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You can do anything and be anyone you want to be. Make sure your life is built on the right foundation. The problem is that when toxicity enters your life, you may fall deeper and deeper into the darkness without even realizing it.
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Could’ve done without the Christian theology
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What listeners say about The Book of Boundaries
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- beckieb714
- 02-04-23
Boundaries For Myself
The part that I enjoyed the most was setting boundaries for myself. I had never thought about how important setting self-made boundaries would be for my mental health. I highly recommend this book and loved Melissa reading it.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Jennifer Morrissey
- 12-10-22
Life Changing!!🙌
Set the limits that will set you free! Brilliant! A must read for anyone that wishes to improve their life.
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- Amanda Koch
- 01-02-23
Helpful & thoughtful
I have always enjoyed MU’s thoughts on social media and was glad to have been able to listen to her book. Even though we don’t see eye to eye on some personal things, I appreciate the value her approach adds to my arsenal of healthy living.
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- Dace :)
- 08-03-23
One of the best books I’ve ever read!!
This book is completely transformative and practical. I’ve already started using multiple scripts and practices taught in this book. I also loved that this is narrated by the author, giving a personal touch. Listening to this honestly left like talking to my therapist, or an old friend. The information in this book is also very easy to absorb and use in daily living. Thank you Melissa Urban, you’ve helped me take back my time and strengthen my relationships!
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- A Stenersen
- 07-26-23
Well worth a listen!
A very helpful book for people who struggle to set boundaries. Has literal scripts you can follow in it to set a boundary.
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- Amy E. Rittle
- 06-26-24
boundaries
There are great examples and scripts to help set healthy boundaries for yourself. great book, I really enjoyed it!
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- Jamie H.
- 10-26-22
Life Changing
This book was eye opening. I was immediately able to start applying concepts I learned as I was reading and made several bookmarks to come back to. Great book!
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1 person found this helpful
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- M Nelson
- 02-16-23
Best self improvement book
I love this book, and the way it teaches the importance of, and how to do, boundaries. I’ve already recommended it to everyone I talk to. I’m already seeing the positive impact of the book in my life.
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- Debra Saturday
- 02-20-23
Just in time
Loved this book and used what I needed. Thank you for having the book on audible.
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- Kimberly Nyborg
- 03-30-23
A must read
As someone who is fairly good with boundaries but one that struggles with them in very specific areas of my life I found this book extremely helpful. the scripts were wonderful for talking through issues from your children to in-laws to spouses to friends. Most issues are covered here & I was able to recognize myself in situations that I didn't even realize I was having as boundary breaking. I have already recommended this to several friends.
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