
The Mamas
What I Learned About Kids, Class, and Race from Moms Not Like Me
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Narrated by:
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Helena Andrews-Dyer
About this listen
Can white moms and Black moms ever truly be friends? Not just mom friends, but like really real friends? And does it matter?
“Utterly addictive . . . Through her sharp wit and dynamic anecdotal storytelling, Helena Andrews-Dyer shines a light on the cultural differences that separate Black and white mothers.”—Tia Williams, New York Times bestselling author of Seven Days in June
Helena Andrews-Dyer lives in a “hot” Washington, D.C., neighborhood, which means picturesque row houses and plenty of gentrification. After having her first child, she joined the local mom group—“the Mamas”—and quickly realized that being one of the only Black mothers in the mix was a mixed bag. The racial, cultural, and socioeconomic differences were made clear almost immediately. But spending time in what she calls “the Polly Pocket world of postracial parenting” was a welcome reprieve. Then George Floyd happened. A man was murdered, a man who called out for his mama. And suddenly, the Mamas hit different. Though they were alike in some ways—they want their kids to be safe; they think their husbands are lazy; they work too much and feel guilty about it—Andrews-Dyer realized she had an entirely different set of problems that her neighborhood mom friends could never truly understand.
In The Mamas, Andrews-Dyer chronicles the particular challenges she faces in a group where systemic racism can be solved with an Excel spreadsheet and where she, a Black, professional, Ivy League-educated mom, is overcompensating with every move. Andrews-Dyer grapples with her own inner tensions, like “Why do I never leave the house with the baby and without my wedding ring?” and “Why did every name we considered for our kids have to pass the résumé test?” Throw in a global pandemic and a nationwide movement for social justice, and Andrews-Dyer ultimately tries to find out if moms from different backgrounds can truly understand one another.
With sharp wit and refreshing honesty, The Mamas explores the contradictions and community of motherhood—white and Black and everything—against the backdrop of the rapidly changing world.
©2022 Helena Andrews-Dyer (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
After twelve years of marriage, twenty years together, and four kids, Devale and Khadeen Ellis have been through a lot. They’ve loved their way through a long-distance relationship, financial instability, parenthood, Khadeen’s near-death, and their near-divorce, chronicling their day-to-day life with their boys online. After much trial and error, they hit upon one surprising, essential truth: If you’re looking for a healthy relationship and a fulfilling life, focus on your partner’s needs instead of your wants.
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I enjoyed every minute of this book
- By Freddrick Smooth on 04-30-23
By: Khadeen Ellis, and others
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Real Self-Care
- A Transformative Program for Redefining Wellness (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included)
- By: Pooja Lakshmin MD
- Narrated by: Pooja Lakshmin MD
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Real self-care is an internal, self-reflective process that involves making difficult decisions in line with our values, and when we practice it, we shift our relationships, our workplaces, and even our broken systems. Using case studies from her practice, clinical research, and the down-to-earth style that she's become known for, Pooja Lakshmin provides a step-by-step program for real and sustainable change. Real Self-Care is a complete roadmap for women to set boundaries, move past guilt, treat themselves with compassion, get closer to themselves, and assert their power.
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Important topic but flawed insofar as it claims to want to reach a general audience
- By A.P. on 11-06-23
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Say It Well
- Find Your Voice, Speak Your Mind, Inspire Any Audience
- By: Terry Szuplat
- Narrated by: Sean Patrick Hopkins
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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As a White House speechwriter, Terry Szuplat helped craft hundreds of speeches for President Obama. But when it came to public speaking himself, Szuplat—like many people—was gripped by anxiety and preferred to stay in the shadows. When he was invited to give the first major speech of his life, he faced a choice: keep hiding from what scared him, or finally face his fears.
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How many times can you say “Obama”?
- By Amadeo on 11-23-24
By: Terry Szuplat
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Up to Speed
- The Groundbreaking Science of Women Athletes
- By: Christine Yu
- Narrated by: Cindy Kay
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Over the last fifty years, women have made extraordinary advances in athletics. More women than ever are playing sports and staying active longer. Whether they’re elite athletes looking for an edge or enthusiastic amateurs, women deserve a culture of sports that helps them thrive: training programs and equipment designed to work with their bodies, as well as guidelines for nutrition and injury prevention that are based in science and tailored to their lived experience. Yet too often the guidance women receive is based on research that fails to consider their experiences or their bodies.
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Not what I expected
- By Crystal on 11-27-23
By: Christine Yu
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Conversations on Letting Go
- Guidance, Meditations, and Exercises to Help You Live Authentically
- By: Najwa Zebian
- Narrated by: Najwa Zebian, Catherine Ho, Dani Martineck, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Najwa Zebian, EdD, has been grappling with the concept of letting go for years, both in her own journey and in her interactions with community members, students, and friends. More and more, Najwa has observed that while our problems are personal, the themes surrounding them are universal. She concluded that letting go is a topic that deserves specific attention and consideration.
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Incredible
- By Amazon Customer on 07-17-23
By: Najwa Zebian
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Lazy Love
- By: Keion Henderson
- Narrated by: Keion Henderson
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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We so often fail in our relationships with our families, our partners, our friends, and fellow humans because we are lazy in our love for one another, says Keion Henderson, pastor of the mega-church Lighthouse Church in Houston. Lazy love prevents us from experiencing the deep, soulful fulfillment we long to know. It keeps us from being known and enjoyed by those around us. In his new book Lazy Love, Henderson unpacks the four kinds of love mentioned in the Bible and shows listeners how each shapes our relationships and our lives.
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WOW
- By OLSKOOLDIVA on 09-24-24
By: Keion Henderson
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For You When I Am Gone
- Twelve Essential Questions to Tell a Life Story
- By: Steve Leder
- Narrated by: Steve Leder
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Writing an ethical will, a document that includes stories and reflections about your past, is an ancient tradition. It can include joy and regrets, and ultimately becomes both a way to remember a loved one who is gone and a primer on how to live a better, happier life. Beloved Rabbi Steve Leder has helped thousands of people to write their own ethical wills, and in this intimate book helps us write our own.
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Life Changing
- By Ms Deb on 07-09-22
By: Steve Leder
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The Book of Boundaries
- Set the Limits That Will Set You Free
- By: Melissa Urban
- Narrated by: Melissa Urban
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Since launching the mega-bestselling wellness program the Whole30, Melissa Urban has taught millions of people how to establish healthy habits and successfully navigate pushback and peer pressure. She knows firsthand that boundaries—clear limits you set to protect your energy, time, and health—are the key to feelings of security, confidence, and freedom in every area of your life. Now, in The Book of Boundaries, she shows you how boundaries are the key to better mental health, increased energy, improved productivity, and more fulfilling relationships.
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Lot's of repetitive & unnecessary fluff
- By mzfitz on 12-29-22
By: Melissa Urban
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The Book of Virtues: 30th Anniversary Edition
- By: William J. Bennett, Elayne Glover Bennett
- Narrated by: Ed Asner, Elayne Glover Bennett, Jenn Bennett, and others
- Length: 22 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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The Book of Virtues is one of the most popular moral primers ever written, an inspiring anthology that helps children understand and develop character—and helps parents teach it to them. Responsibility. Courage. Compassion. Loyalty. Honesty. Friendship. Persistence. Hard work. Self-discipline. Faith. These remain the essentials of good character. The Book of Virtues contains hundreds of exemplary stories offering children examples of good and bad, right and wrong. The updated edition of The Book of Virtues will continue a legacy of raising moral children far into a new century.
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A must-read for parents and children!
- By don stephens on 01-29-23
By: William J. Bennett, and others
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Gentle Writing Advice
- How to Be a Writer Without Destroying Yourself
- By: Chuck Wendig
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally—a book of writing advice that accounts for all of the messy, perverse, practical, and inexplicable parts of being a human who writes.
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Very enjoyable for us seasoned writers
- By Rue37 on 08-02-23
By: Chuck Wendig
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Life Worth Living
- A Guide to What Matters Most
- By: Miroslav Volf, Matthew Croasmun, Ryan McAnnally-Linz
- Narrated by: Kelly Corrigan, Maria Shriver
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes a good life? The question is inherent to the human condition, asked by people across generations, professions, and social classes, and addressed by all schools of philosophy and religions. This search for meaning, as Yale faculty Miroslav Volf, Matthew Croasmun, and Ryan McAnnally-Linz argue, is at the crux of a crisis that is facing Western culture, a crisis that, they propose, can be ameliorated by searching, in one’s own life, for the underlying truth.
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Evangelical Tripe
- By Guy Shophard on 04-24-23
By: Miroslav Volf, and others
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All the Knowledge in the World
- The Extraordinary History of the Encyclopedia
- By: Simon Garfield
- Narrated by: Tim Bentinck
- Length: 11 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The encyclopedia once shaped our understanding of the world. Created by thousands of scholars and the most obsessive of editors, a good set conveyed a sense of absolute wisdom on its reader. Contributions from Albert Einstein, Sigmund Freud, Orville Wright, Alfred Hitchcock, Marie Curie and Indira Gandhi helped millions of children with their homework. Adults cleared their shelves in the belief that everything that was explainable was now effortlessly accessible in their living rooms.
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Excellent, as usual
- By Debra Tydd on 07-23-23
By: Simon Garfield
What listeners say about The Mamas
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- jhudson
- 09-05-22
I feel heard
The writer is absolutely amazing with words—the way she describes the details of her life in a way that is both witty and relatable. I shared this book with so many in my mom gangs and now off to start some of her other books! Definitely recommend!
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1 person found this helpful
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- marian
- 10-21-22
Also the only mama
Totally recommend it’s so relatable, good research about several topics.
A support group is necessary but also important to know and trust ourselves and be kind to us.
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- Sarah
- 11-21-22
Enlightening, engaging, and humorous
This was one of the best books I have read in a long time. Hearing the author’s experience was not only validating as a mother but also really helped to illustrate the intersectionality of race, class, gender, parenthood, and era in a manner that helps you understand the experiences of many moms and particularly moms of color on a more visceral level. I’d recommend this book for anyone who wants to have a deeper understanding of these societal issues and enjoy an engaging and humorous writing style along the way.
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- Karla B.
- 09-09-22
For the Mamas!
I enjoyed every moment of this book. So much of the author’s narrative aligned with my own. I truly appreciate her transparency and witty sense of humor. If you’re a mama trying to navigate the complexity of motherhood and the emotional roller coaster that it brings, this is the book for you.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julia
- 10-03-22
Much More and Then Some
Wow!
This was open and honest to the point of a gift. It spans the spectrum of very personal internal and external truths including the ugly and the funny- all w candor and a deeply compelling voice. So well done. Bonus points for excellent research and DC history! Listen and share along!
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- M. Quigley
- 11-11-22
A personal and universal story
The Mammas is a great read. While it is the personal story of the author I felt like she knew parts of my story.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-21-22
All Black mama in Predominantly White Neighborhood can relate
Wow this book touches on so many things that I’m personally going through. Being the only one in our school, our street, our ballet, gymnastics,swimming classes makes you wonder sometimes if you belong. If this experience is what’s best for your kid. I like how this book was not an answer to these questions, but an outlook on a shared experience. Love it! My only reservation is on the chapter about gentrification and history of the neighborhood. I felt like it was too long and not totally related to the Mamas. In general I really love the book, and selfishly happy I’m not the only one going through this.
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- estela reveles
- 09-22-23
boring
can’t identify with this kind/class of parent group to ever want to be accepted into it.
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