What Doesn't Kill You
A Life with Chronic Illness - Lessons from a Body in Revolt
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Narrated by:
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Tessa Miller
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By:
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Tessa Miller
About this listen
A riveting and candid account of a young journalist's awakening to a life of chronic illness, weaving together her personal story with reporting to shed light on how Americans live with long-term diagnoses today.
Tessa Miller was an ambitious 20-something writer in New York City when, on a random fall day, her stomach began to seize up. At first, she tried to push through the searing pain, taking time off work and staying home, glued to the toilet. But when it became glaringly apparent something was wrong, Miller gave in to her family's requests and went to the hospital - and thus started a years-long personal nightmare that included procedures, misdiagnoses, and life-threatening infections. Once Miller was finally correctly diagnosed with Crohn's disease, she had yet another new battle to face: accepting that she will, in truth, never get better.
Today, three in five adults in the United States suffer from a chronic ailment, whether the illness is endometriosis, IBD, IBS, Crohn's, ulcerative colitis, asthma, depression, anxiety, diabetes, or any other chronic ailment. However, despite the prevalence of these illnesses and the impact they have on just about everyone - whether the sufferer is a colleague, a loved one, or you personally - there remains an air of shame and isolation around the topic. Millions endure these diseases alone, not only physically but also emotionally, balancing the stress of relationships and work amidst the ever-looming threat of health complications.
Moving from Miller's maddening yet all too relatable experience into a deeper look at how the medical community handles chronic illness, What Doesn't Kill You exposes the realities of what it means to accept a lifetime diagnosis, pushing past the good, the bad, and the ugly to offer wisdom and solidarity for those trying to make sense of it all.
This audiobook includes a PDF of resources from the appendix of the book.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2021 Tessa Miller (P)2021 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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From Dr. Jennifer Ashton comes a doctor’s guide to finding resilience in the time of COVID, while staying safe and sane in a rapidly changing world. The New Normal is a holistic road map through the ongoing struggles of the pandemic, providing the guidance you need to navigate this unsettling time and take charge of your future well-being.
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Live Each Day Alive
- By Barbara A. Badalewski on 06-02-23
By: Jennifer Ashton
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The Spectrum of Hope
- An Optimistic and New Approach to Alzheimer's Disease and Other Dementias
- By: Gayatri Devi MD
- Narrated by: Wendy Tremont King
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Imagine finding a glimmer of good news in a diagnosis of Alzheimer's. And imagine how that would change the outlook of the five million Americans who suffer from Alzheimer's disease and other dementias, not to mention their families, loved ones, and caretakers. A neurologist who's been specializing in dementia and memory loss for more than 20 years, Dr. Gayatri Devi rewrites the story of Alzheimer's by defining it as a spectrum disorder - like autism, Alzheimer's is a disease that affects different people differently.
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Aging with Grace
- By Lisa F on 05-19-21
By: Gayatri Devi MD
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Changing the Way We Die
- Compassionate End-of-Life Care and the Hospice Movement
- By: Sheila Himmel, Fran Smith
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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There’s a quiet revolution happening in the way we die. More than 1.5 million Americans a year die in hospice care - nearly 44 percent of all deaths - and a vast industry has sprung up to meet the growing demand. Once viewed as a New Age indulgence, hospice is now a $14 billion business and one of the most successful segments in health care. Changing the Way We Die, by award-winning journalists Fran Smith and Sheila Himmel, is the first book to take a broad, penetrating look at the hospice landscape.
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Sadly, not very engaging.
- By Debra S. Long on 06-16-18
By: Sheila Himmel, and others
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In Pain
- A Bioethicist’s Personal Struggle with Opioids
- By: Travis Rieder
- Narrated by: Travis Rieder
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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A bioethicist’s eloquent and riveting memoir of opioid dependence and withdrawal - a harrowing personal reckoning and clarion call for change not only for government but medicine itself, revealing the lack of crucial resources and structures to handle this insidious nationwide epidemic.
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An essential read in a time of crisis
- By Kelly Heuer on 06-25-19
By: Travis Rieder
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A Bittersweet Season
- Caring for Our Aging Parents - And Ourselves
- By: Jane Gross
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 15 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In telling the intimate story of caring for her aged and ailing mother, Jane Gross offers indispensable, and often surprising, advice for the rapidly increasing number of adult children responsible for aging parents. Gross deftly weaves the specifics of her personal experience with a comprehensive resource for effectively managing the lives of one's own parents while keeping sanity and strength intact.
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Exceptional, thought-provoking, liberating!
- By Anne on 08-10-11
By: Jane Gross
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Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them)
- A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying
- By: Sallie Tisdale
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You get ready to die the way you get ready for a trip. Start by realizing you don't know the way. Listen to a few travel guides. Study the language, look at maps, gather equipment. Let yourself imagine what it will be like. Pack your bags. This book is one of those travel guides - a guide to preparing for your own death and the deaths of people close to you. The fact of death is hard to believe. Sallie Tisdale explores our fears and all the ways death and talking about death make us uncomfortable - but she also explores its intimacies and joys.
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I thought I had more time...
- By Alyssa on 09-09-19
By: Sallie Tisdale
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Peace, Love & Healing
- Bodymind Communication & the Path to Self-Healing: An Exploration
- By: Bernie S. Siegel
- Narrated by: Bernie S. Siegel
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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A classic of patient empowerment, Peace, Love & Healing offered the revolutionary message that we have an innate ability to heal ourselves. Now proven by numerous scientific studies, the connection between our minds and our bodies has been increasingly accepted as fact throughout the mainstream medical community. In a new introduction, Dr. Bernie Siegel highlights current research on the relationships among consciousness, psychosocial factors, attitude, and immune function.
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horrible horrible
- By Honestly on 02-09-15
By: Bernie S. Siegel
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Mind Over Medicine
- Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself
- By: Lissa Rankin M.D.
- Narrated by: Lissa Rankin M.D.
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Rankin discovered the health care she had been taught was missing something: a recognition of the body’s innate ability to self-repair. Using cases of spontaneous healing, Dr. Rankin shows how thoughts, feelings, and beliefs can alter the body’s physiology. She lays out the data proving that loneliness, pessimism, depression, fear, and anxiety damage the body, while intimate relationships, gratitude, meditation, sex, and authentic self-expression flip on the body’s self-healing processes.
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Blue Zones Meets The Placebo Effect
- By Jay on 06-29-13
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Confessions of a GP
- By: Benjamin Daniels
- Narrated by: Eamonn Riley
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Benjamin Daniels is angry. He is frustrated, confused, baffled and, quite frequently, very funny. He is also a GP. These are his confessions.A woman troubled by pornographic dreams about Tom Jones. An 80-year-old man who can't remember why he's come to see the doctor.
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Very enjoyable
- By PCF on 05-27-17
By: Benjamin Daniels
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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Nobody Knows the Trouble I’ve Seen
- The Emotional Lives of Black Women
- By: Inger Burnett-Zeigler
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Black women are beautiful, intelligent, and capable - but mostly they embrace strong. Esteemed clinical psychologist Dr. Inger Burnett-Zeigler praises the strength of women while exploring how trauma and adversity have led to deep emotional pain and shaped how they walk through the world.
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Amazing!
- By charlene lindsey on 09-08-21
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Women Who Think Too Much
- How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life
- By: Susan Nolen-Hoeksema
- Narrated by: Sheryl Bernstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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It's not a surprise that our fast-paced, overly analytical culture is pushing people - especially women - to spend countless hours thinking about negative ideas, feelings, and experiences. Renowned psychologist Dr. Susan Nolen-Hoeksema calls this "overthinking". Her groundbreaking research shows that an increasing number of women - more than half of those in her extensive study - are doing it too much and too often, hindering their ability to lead a satisfying life.
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Generic tools for overcoming overthinking
- By letlet on 01-09-19
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Alzheimer’s Through the Stages: A Caregiver’s Guide
- What to Expect, What to Say,What to Do
- By: Mary Moller MSW CAS
- Narrated by: Heidi Rew
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Alzheimers books should help everyone involved through this incredibly difficult time. That’s why Alzheimer’s Through the Stages shows you what you can do for your loved one - and yourself - every step of the way. This book’s detailed descriptions of all seven stages of the disease are both helpful and comforting. With each section divided into three parts - what to expect, what to say, and what to do - this is one of the easiest to use Alzheimers books for caregivers.
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Peaceful narration of wonderfully helpful book
- By Too_much_shopping on 02-10-23
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Like a Mother
- A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancy
- By: Angela Garbes
- Narrated by: Roxana Ortega, Angela Garbes
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
What to listen to after What to Expect.... A badass, feminist, and personal deep-dive into the science and culture of pregnancy and early motherhood that debunks myths and dated assumptions, offering guidance and camaraderie to women navigating one of the biggest and most profound changes in their lives. Like most first-time mothers, Angela Garbes was filled with questions when she became pregnant. What exactly is a placenta? How does a body go into labor? Why is breast best? What are the signs and effects of postpartum depression?
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Microchimerism - interesting at first, then profoundly healing
- By Emily Virgil on 09-10-18
By: Angela Garbes
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Committed
- Dispatches from a Psychiatrist in Training
- By: Adam Stern MD
- Narrated by: Adam Stern MD
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Adam Stern was a student at a state medical school before being selected to train as a psychiatry resident at one of the most prestigious programs in the country. His new and initially intimidating classmates were high achievers from the Ivy League and other elite universities. Faculty raved about the group as though the residency program had won the lottery, nicknaming them “The Golden Class”, but would Stern ever prove that he belonged? In his memoir, Stern pulls back the curtain on the intense and emotionally challenging lessons he and his fellow doctors learned.
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Thank you for reminding me,
- By Ms D on 12-29-21
By: Adam Stern MD
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In 2001, Toni Bernhard got sick and, to her and her partner’s bewilderment, stayed that way. As they faced the confusion, frustration, and despair of a life with sudden limitations - a life that was vastly different from the one they’d thought they’d have together - Toni had to learn how to be sick. In spite of her many physical and energetic restrictions (and sometimes, because of them), Toni learned how to live a life of equanimity, compassion, and joy.
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Julie fully expected to be breathing at the end of the trip - but driving into Death Valley felt like giving up, surrendering. She'd spent years battling a mysterious illness so extreme that she often couldn't turn over in her bed. The top specialists in the world were powerless to help, and research on her disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, was at a near standstill. Having exhausted the plausible ideas, Julie turned to an implausible one. Going against both her instincts and her training, she followed the advice of strangers she'd met on the Internet.
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Anna was living a normal life. She was ambitious and worked hard; she had just bought an apartment; she was falling in love. But then she started to develop worrying symptoms: her face felt like it was burning whenever she was in front of the computer. Soon this progressed to an intolerance of fluorescent light, then of sunlight itself. The reaction soon spread to her entire body.
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For as long as writer Porochista Khakpour can remember, she has been sick. For most of that time, she didn't know why. All of her trips to the ER and her anguish, pain, and lethargy only ever resulted in one question: How could any one person be this sick? Several drug addictions, three major hospitalizations, and over $100,000 later, she finally had a diagnosis: late-stage Lyme disease. Sick is Khakpour's arduous, emotional journey - as a woman, a writer, and a lifelong sufferer of undiagnosed health problems - through the chronic illness that left her a victim of anxiety....
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Kate Bowler is a professor at Duke Divinity School with a modest Christian upbringing, but she specializes in the study of the prosperity gospel, a creed that sees fortune as a blessing from God and misfortune as a mark of God's disapproval. At 35, everything in her life seems to point toward "blessing". She is thriving in her job, married to her high school sweetheart, and loves life with her newborn son. Then she is diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer.
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Please give me back the lost hours of my life!
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Backbone is a life-fulfilling message about managing chronic pain and living a life of purpose. For two decades, Karen Duffy, New York Times bestselling author, former MTV VJ, Revlon model, and actress, has managed to live an enriching life despite living in a state of constant pain. In this powerful, inspirational, funny, and important manual for surviving pain, Duffy draws on her experience as a patient advocate, trained recreational therapist, and hospice chaplain to illuminate gratifying methods people can use to cope with chronic pain.
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Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis—known collectively as inflammatory bowel disease, or IBD—can appear at any age, but most often develop in a person’s late teens to early 30s. These chronic conditions can take a physical and emotional toll, but it doesn’t have to be that way. No matter if you’re recently diagnosed, you’ve struggled for several years or you have a child with IBD, Mayo Clinic on Crohn’s Disease & Ulcerative Colitis offers help and hope. This comprehensive, easy-to-understand reference guide can help you chart a path back to health.
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Valuable and comprehensive
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By: Dr. Francis A. Farraye, and others
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Body on Fire
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In Body on Fire (a newly updated revision of Finding Balance) Drs. Monica Aggarwal and Jyothi Rao help listeners make an honest assessment of their energy, lifestyle, dietary habits, and mental state and provide a series of interventions for reclaiming health. They present in-depth explanations of the dangers of stressors on the body such as sedentary lifestyles, poor diet, and poor sleep habits.
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Very basic
- By Tygeo on 12-27-22
By: Monica Aggarwal, and others
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Brain on Fire
- My Month of Madness
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When 24-year-old Susannah Cahalan woke up alone in a hospital room, strapped to her bed and unable to move or speak, she had no memory of how she’d gotten there. Days earlier, she had been on the threshold of a new, adult life: At the beginning of her first serious relationship and a promising career at a major New York newspaper. Now she was labeled violent, psychotic, a flight risk. What happened?
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A must read for anyone in the medical field, and anyone who has ever gone undiagnosed.
- By Sarah M Valentino on 05-13-20
By: Susannah Cahalan
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Unwell Women
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Elinor Cleghorn became an unwell woman 10 years ago. She was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease after a long period of being told her symptoms were anything from psychosomatic to a possible pregnancy. As Elinor learned to live with her unpredictable disease, she turned to history for answers, and found an enraging legacy of suffering, mystification, and misdiagnosis. In Unwell Women, Elinor Cleghorn traces the almost unbelievable history of how medicine has failed women by treating their bodies as alien and other, often to perilous effect.
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Profound Read; A Sincere Stepping Stone to Understanding My Own Why
- By Nicole on 07-23-21
By: Elinor Cleghorn
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Young Woman and the Sea
- How Trudy Ederle Conquered the English Channel and Inspired the World
- By: Glenn Stout
- Narrated by: Gisela Chipe
- Length: 15 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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By age twenty, at the height of the Jazz Age, Trudy Ederle was the most accomplished swimmer in the world. She’d won Olympic gold and set a host of world records. But the greatest challenge remained: the English Channel. Only a few swimmers, none of them women, had ever made the treacherous twenty-one mile crossing. Trudy’s failed first attempt seemed to confirm what many naysayers believed: No woman could possibly accomplish such a thing. In 1926, Ederle proved them wrong.
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An exceptional historical recounting of an amazing accomplishment!
- By Ben Anderson on 07-29-24
By: Glenn Stout
What listeners say about What Doesn't Kill You
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kieran Higgins
- 03-14-23
Wonderful Book
I have been dealing with a chronic illness which has brought me to my knees for the past four year’s.Multiple surgeries,doctors and medications with life changing side effects.
This book gave me some peace. I so enjoyed listening to it, I could identify with everything the author talked about. I realize how lucky I am to have a wonderful supportive family and friends that are always there for me.
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- Sheri
- 02-16-21
Enlightening, funny, emotional. Like listening to a friend.
This book contains enough personal context to read like a novel, but as much information as a self help book. She reminds us of the absolute grit living with chronic illness involves, while making you laugh and learn to be better. I couldn’t put it down. I appreciated her inclusive language and recognition of systemic racism, classism, and sexism as well. Thank you for this book Tessa Miller!
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6 people found this helpful
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- Mother of Chickens
- 12-25-21
living with crohn’s disease
Great job, Tessa! Tessa provides a touching, intimate, and at time bold accounting of her experience with crohn’s disease. I enjoyed and appreciated the opportunity to learn what living with crohn’s is like. as a care taker of loved ones wrestling with a different form of chronic disease (tick-borne diseases), i identified with many of the themes Tessa described, but felt at times Tessa might have tried to generalize too much based on her personal experience. Tessa suffers from a disease that conventional medicine acknowledges — at least enough to put a name on the group of symptoms. The fact that there are ‘medicines’ that hold some promise for managing crohn’s results in Tessa dismissing non conventional therapies — including whole foods based nutrient-dense diet (e.g. paleo) supported by the functional medicine community to optimally support the immune system when no other magic pill/medication is available. Such chronic illnesses (e.g., Lyme) are not acknowledged or offered effective conventional treatment to manage conditions. Tessa alluded appropriately to gaslighting — when doctors (and others) dismiss your reality and infer that it’s all in your head. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand how hard it is to live with crohn’s disease — an important segment of the chronic community. Everyone is similar but different. Every person with the same disease is similar but different. Every person with a different chronic illness is similar but even more different. Thank-you for the book Tessa.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Bessie Mae
- 10-07-23
Excellent Illness Memoir
This book is a powerful combination of personal narrative, commentary on the nightmare of the American medical and insurance systems, and well-informed acknowledgment of the unequal ways chronic illness falls on different bodies. The whole thing is terrifying and tenderly written.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Thomas A. Siewert
- 11-07-22
Glad I don't have Crohn's disease
This book consists of two parts. First there is the memoir, which is well-written and enlightening in terms of its depiction of a very nasty chronic illness and its complications. I really learned to appreciate the difficult life of dealing with Crohn's, and, having listened to this, I have greater compassion towards people with this and similar illnesses. I have chronic illness as well, but it's nowhere near as challenging. Still, there was much I could relate to. Of course, if I did have Crohn's and since I've mostly not had insurance in my life, I likely wouldn't be writing this now.
The second part of the book is the journalistic part where the author basically explains everything you need to know when living with such an illness, from insurance info, to relating to friends and family, to expectations of a good doctor, to even what to expect sexually, and more. It's very complete and a great reference, though I think the good doctor part has pretty high expectations, not realizable where I live. This second aspect of the book seems to take up most of the listening time, so that's something to be aware of going in. Seems like it could have been a second book. Definitely recommended.
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- Caro;ine
- 05-03-21
READ THE BOOK
I have never felt more heard, seen, not alone valued, and understood in my entire life. Living with chronic illness is hard living with a family who is not chronically ill doesn’t make it easier. Tessa outlines everything that I feel every day and have felt throughout my whole life anymore. She makes me feel as though I am not alone and as though she’s reading this book, we’re chatting over coffee, and like she thoroughly gets it because she does. She lives what I live every day. It’s so nice to know that I can give this book to my friends and my family, and they can listen to it and understand more than I’d be able to put into words myself. Well, she was saying it in a much more excellent way than I probably would. It was beautifully written, beautifully spoken, and beautifully read. I wish I could give this more stars.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Josephine Casteel
- 01-27-23
Validation
Thank you for sharing your story, I somehow feel understood… maybe it’s just for me right now.
I cried a lot listening to your story so much I could feel and relate to. I will continue to hope that there will be more understanding of chronic illness, not just from the medical community but also from family and friends…. Maybe one day they will believe. Thank you again for your courage to share Tessa . 💕
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- Dana A.
- 08-20-22
thank you!
I don't have the words. all I have is my gratitude to give. Thank you for being my voice ❤️
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1 person found this helpful
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- Liv
- 12-24-22
Relatable and profound
I loved her story and related to it so much. I have the kind of “invisible” (for the moment) crohn’s that causes me a lot of pain, money, sleep, shame, and worry, but that other people can’t usually see. It was so meaningful for me to hear this experience reflected. The way she wrote about grieving your body as a young person who has just learned that you’ll never get better really helped me understand my experience. I’m lucky in many ways, and that has sometimes made me feel guilty about all the ways I’m angry at my diagnosis. And to everyone saying she “didn’t need to get political” about the American healthcare system . . . grow up, and listen.
Thank you for this book!
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1 person found this helpful
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- parkiegal
- 07-26-24
Greatful
This book hit home and reinforced what I was taught by my mother, g-d rest her sole, who also suffered from chronic illness. This helped me get through a time of understanding and need to your story and what you went through is so similar to me. Thank you for this book. It has help me and so many more, I’m sure. G-d bless you.
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