What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding
A Reassuring Month-by-Month Guide for the Father-to-Be, Whether He Wants Advice or Not
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Narrated by:
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Robert McCollum
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By:
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Thomas Hill
About this listen
In this classic parody, Thomas Hill presents the testosterone-inspired answer to the best-seller What to Expect When You're Expecting.
The third edition of the best, funniest father's guide to having a baby, What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding, is now thoroughly revised and updated, but it's still packed with information, advice, and attitude - distinctively for guys. Originally conceived as a little parody, just something funny and helpful for the expectant man, the audiobook is now a classic gift, passed knowingly from one generation of first-time papas to the next.
With this lighthearted month-by-month instruction manual on the care and nurture of a pregnant wife - the main role of expectant dads - he'll handle all the important milestones and topics: what not to say during the three phases of labor, what to buy, how many and when, maintaining work-life balance, and maintaining work-life-wife balance.
New features in What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding include:
- The minefield: the wrong gifts for your pregnant wife
- Social media pregnancy etiquette: status update!
- Eight reasons why not to pick out maternity clothes
What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding also features the latest trends!
- Festive gender-reveal parties (really!)
- Updated baby name guide, including Twitter hashtags
- Cloth diapers: the debate is back!
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Story
Mayim Bialik was the child star of the popular 1990s TV sitcom Blossom, but she definitely didn't follow the typical child-star trajectory. Instead, Mayim got her Ph.D. in neuroscience from UCLA, married her college sweetheart, and had two kids. Mayim then did what many new moms do - she read a lot of books, talked with other parents, and she soon started questioning a lot of the conventional wisdom she heard about the "right" way to raise a child. That's when she turned to attachment parenting.
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Explains her style without condemning others
- By Mary on 03-28-12
By: Mayim Bialik
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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
- How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
- By: Tracy Hogg
- Narrated by: Tracy Hogg
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Abridged
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The author - a.k.a. "The Baby Whisperer - unlocks the secrets of infant language so that any parents, grandparents, or caregiver can interpret what babies are "saying" and give them what they need.
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a good place to start
- By Bk Marcus on 11-12-05
By: Tracy Hogg
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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The Confident Parent
- A Pediatrician's Guide to Caring for Your Little One - Without Losing Your Joy, Your Mind, or Yourself
- By: Dr. Jane Scott, Stephanie Land
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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We've all heard the complaint from parents: They're more overwhelmed than ever before - juggling demands on their time as well as conflicting advice from family, friends, frenemies, and "experts" on how to achieve parental perfection, or risk jeopardizing their little one's future happiness. Pediatrician Jane Scott has seen this parental anxiety up close, and in The Confident Parent she shares advice on how to cut through the confusion.
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Read by a computer
- By Megan Ormston on 11-14-18
By: Dr. Jane Scott, and others
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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The Longest Date
- Life as a Wife
- By: Cindy Chupack
- Narrated by: Cindy Chupack, Ian Wallach
- Length: 4 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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After having endured enough emotional wreckage in her search for true love to fill a book ( The New York Times bestseller The Between Boyfriends Book), two magazine columns, and five seasons of scripts for Sex and the City, Cindy Chupack finally, mercifully, at the age of thirty-nine, met the Perfect Man. The perfect companion for anyone navigating a marriage (or even just contemplating one), The Longest Date marks the welcome return of one of our most gifted and captivating comic writers.
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Meh...
- By Jessica K. on 11-07-18
By: Cindy Chupack
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Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
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Witty and Heartfelt
- By Beth M. Honeycutt on 07-03-24
By: Nia Vardalos
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Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed
- Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not to Have Kids
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller, Jo Anna Perrin
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the main topics of cultural conversation during the last decade was the supposed "fertility crisis" and whether modern women could figure out a way to have it all - a successful, demanding career and the required 2.3 children - before their biological clocks stopped ticking. Now, however, conversation has turned to whether it's necessary to have it all (see Anne-Marie Slaughter) or, perhaps more controversial, whether children are really a requirement for a fulfilling life.
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Am I the only sane childfree woman in here?
- By J. Malouin on 09-29-15
By: Meghan Daum
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Stopping Stress Before It Stops You
- A Game Plan for Every Mom
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Lucille Cole
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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You can reduce stress and enjoy your life! Homemaker, career woman, wife, supermom—sometimes the roles you have to fill all at once can get to be too much. Internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman has seen scores of women who are overcome by stress. With humor, insight, and practical solutions, this best-selling author helps you manage the six stress points in your life: kids, career, husband, housework, money, and crammed schedules.
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He assumes you're married to an idiot!
- By Karen on 06-04-11
By: Kevin Leman
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Oh Crap! Potty Training
- Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right
- By: Jamie Glowacki
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Let Jamie Glowacki show you how potty training is done. Her six-step, proven process to get your toddler out of diapers and onto the toilet has already worked for 10s of thousands of kids and their parents.
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Very snarky and anti-parent
- By Katrina on 01-25-16
By: Jamie Glowacki
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
What listeners say about What to Expect When Your Wife Is Expanding
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Ryan O'Connor
- 07-30-18
Cheesy
Paints guys to be these helpless, stereotypical idiots who only understand sports, beer and life in the man cave. That would be fine if it was clever or funny but it’s pretty corny. I realize it’s supposed to be a channel for good, digestible information coated in humor but just falls short for me. Helped out several friends who recommend it highly. Good luck to all new dads
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3 people found this helpful
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- christopher Smith
- 02-03-21
5 chapters in and still plugging other books.
5 chapters in and zero helpful info. trash. trash. trash trash trash trash trash trash
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- Jessica
- 02-16-18
Not supportive. Completely disrespectful.
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
Nothing. His opinion is a disgrace. And no new father should ever pick up this book. Pregnancy is a team sport...he missed the mark by miles.
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
NO
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8 people found this helpful
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- Charlie Harris
- 05-14-18
This book is ridiculous
TLDR: Do not buy this book unless it's for a gag.
If you have half a brain you should find a real book on fatherhood. This one talks to you like you are a prototypical version of the idiotic dad stereotype you find in TV and movies and American pop culture in general. Let's not even talk about how it portrays women and wives and pregnancy...
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4 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 02-10-21
boring macho tropes
Not creative. Basically a book written by your middle school PE teacher. If you don't like thinking, highly recommended.
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