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You Suck
- A Love Story
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
Being dead sucks. Make that being undead sucks.
Literally. Just ask Thomas C. Flood. Waking up after a fantastic night unlike anything he's ever experienced, he discovers that his girlfriend, Jody, the woman of his dreams, is a vampire. And surprise! Now he's one, too.
For some couples, the whole biting-and-blood thing would have been a deal breaker. But Tommy and Jody are in love, and they vow to work through their issues. Like how much Jody should teach Tommy about his new superpowers (and how much he needs to learn on his own). Plus there's Tommy's cute new minion, 16-year-old goth girl Abby Normal. (Well, someone has to run errands during daylight hours!)
Making the relationship work, however, is the least of Jody and Tommy's problems. Word has it that the vampire who nibbled on Jody wasn't supposed to be recruiting any new members into the club. Even worse, Tommy's erstwhile turkey-bowling pals are out to get him, at the urging of a blue-dyed Las Vegas call-girl named (duh) Blue.
And that really sucks.
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Recovering witch Garnet Lacey owns Wisconsin's premier occult bookstore. And a fringe benefit of the job is getting customers like Sebastian Von Traum - piercing brown eyes, a sexy accent, and a killer body. The only thing missing is an aura. Which means he's dead. And that means trouble - something Garnet's a sucker for....
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Tall, Dark, Dead & Poorly Edited
- By Amy J on 08-11-13
By: Tate Hallaway
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Nightwise
- By: R. S. Belcher
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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In the more shadowy corners of the world, frequented by angels and demons and everything in between, Laytham Ballard is a legend. It's said he raised the dead at the age of 10, stole the Philosopher's Stone in Vegas back in 1999, and survived the bloodsucking kiss of the Mosquito Queen. Wise in the hidden ways of the night, he's also a cynical bastard who stopped thinking of himself as the good guy a long time ago.
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Forget Any Negative Reviews and Listen Now
- By G.A. Pauper on 10-05-15
By: R. S. Belcher
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Crimes by Moonlight
- Mysteries from the Dark Side
- By: Charlaine Harris - author/editor
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In number-one New York Times best-selling author Charlaine Harris’s "Dahlia Underground,” venerable vampire Dahlia Lynley-Chivers survives an attack by an anti-vampire terrorist group, only to show them they tried to blow up the wrong bloodsucker. Bailey Ruth Raeburn, a ghost assigned to assist humans in trouble, steps into the middle of a marital dispute with surprising twists in Carolyn Hart’s “Riding High”....
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Pleasantly surprised
- By Bonnie on 08-06-11
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Thirsty
- By: Mia Hopkins
- Narrated by: Ozzie Rodriguez
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Salvador Rosas. Back in the barrio, my past is written on the walls: ESHB. Short for East Side Hollenbeck, my father's gang - my gang. Hell, it's a family tradition, one that sent both my brothers away. They used to call me "Ghost" because I haunted people's dreams. Now I've got nothing going for me except a hipster gringo mentoring me in a new career. An ex-con making craft beer? No mames. Still, people in this neighborhood look out for one another.
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Really good ....
- By AMSullivan1077 on 04-07-19
By: Mia Hopkins
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Son of a Trickster
- By: Eden Robinson
- Narrated by: Jason Ryll
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone knows a guy like Jared: the burnout kid in high school who sells weed cookies and has a scary mom who's often wasted and wielding some kind of weapon. Jared does smoke and drink too much, and he does make the best cookies in town, and his mom is a mess, but he's also a kid who has an immense capacity for compassion and an impulse to watch over people more than twice his age, and he can't rely on anyone for consistent love and support, except for his flatulent pit bull, Baby Killer (he calls her Baby) - and now she's dead.
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Not Enough Fantasy. Too much pot.
- By Rena Tarlini on 09-07-19
By: Eden Robinson
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Blood Oranges
- A Siobhan Quinn Novel
- By: Kathleen Tierney
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
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Nightlife
- By: Rob Thurman
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 11 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In New York, there's a troll under the Brooklyn Bridge, a boggle in Central Park, and a beautiful vampire in a penthouse on the Upper East Side. Of course, most humans are oblivious to this, but Cal Leandros is only half-human. His father's dark lineage is the stuff of nightmares - and he and his entire otherworldly race are after Cal.
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Excellent debut for promising new series
- By Tracey on 03-28-13
By: Rob Thurman
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Flood
- A Novel (Burke, Book 1)
- By: Andrew Vachss
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Burke's newest client is a woman named Flood, who has the face of an angel, the body of a high-priced stripper, and the skills of a professional executioner. She wants Burke to find a monster for her - so she can kill him with her bare hands. In this thriller, Andrew Vachss's renegade private eye teams up with a lethally gifted avenger to follow a child's murderer through the catacombs of New York, where every alley is blind and the penthouses are as dangerous as the basements.
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Noir!
- By Snoodely on 03-06-14
By: Andrew Vachss
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Black Blade Blues
- By: J.A. Pitts
- Narrated by: Erin Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Sarah Beauhall has more on her plate than most 20-somethings: day job as a blacksmith, night job as a props manager for low-budget movies, and her free time is spent fighting in a medieval re-enactment group. The lead actor breaks Sarah's favorite one-of-a-kind sword, and to avoid reshooting scenes, Sarah agrees to repair the blade. One of the extras, who claims to be a dwarf, offers to help. And that's when things start to get weird.
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Heroine falls way short
- By realdog on 03-19-15
By: J.A. Pitts
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Is Nothing is Sacre'?
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I named my cat after the demon Catch
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Is Nothing is Sacre'?
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Coyote Blue
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ehhhh...
- By Michelle on 08-17-09
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Just why do humpback whales sing? That's the question that has marine behavioral biologist Nate Quinn and his crew poking, charting, recording, and photographing very big, wet, gray marine mammals - until the extraordinary day when a whale lifts its tail into the air to display a cryptic message spelled out in foot-high letters: Bite Me.
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Best way to ruin a good book.
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Noir
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San Francisco 1947: Es kommt nicht jeden Tag vor, dass eine rätselhafte, anmutige Blondine namens Stilton (ja, wie der Käse) in den verlotterten Laden kommt, in dem Sammy "Two Toes" Tiffin Gin ausschenkt. Es ist Liebe auf den ersten Blick. Aber bevor Sammy den ersten Schritt machen kann, betritt ein Air Force General mit einem eiligen Auftrag für ihn den Saloon. Doch Sammy hat eigentlich besseres zu tun: Er arbeitet an einer eigenen Geschäftsidee. Als aber an der Pazifikküste ein unbekanntes Flugobjekt gesichtet wird und Stilton plötzlich spurlos verschwindet, muss er sich seinen dunkelsten Geheimnissen stellen, um seinen Käse zu retten.
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Excellent German Translation and Performance
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
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Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
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Loved it!
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The lives of the Barretts, a normal suburban New England family, are torn apart when 14-year-old Marjorie begins to display signs of acute schizophrenia. To her parents' despair, the doctors are unable to stop Marjorie's descent into madness. As their stable home devolves into a house of horrors, they reluctantly turn to a local Catholic priest for help. Father Wanderly suggests an exorcism; he believes the vulnerable teenager is the victim of demonic possession.
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Page turner
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Ascendant
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Story
Holt Cook was never meant to be a dragon rider. He has always served the Order Hall of the Crag dutifully, keeping their kitchen pots clean. Until he discovers a dark secret: dragons do not tolerate weakness among their kin, killing the young they deem flawed. Moved by pity, Holt defies the Order, rescues a doomed egg and vows to protect the blind dragon within. But the Scourge is rising. Undead hordes roam the land, spreading the blight and leaving destruction in their wake. The dragon riders are being slaughtered and betrayal lurks in the shadows.
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Great Fantasy Coming of Age Story
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What listeners say about You Suck
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Jason
- 04-19-09
A Comic San Francisco Treat
I downloaded this listen in preparation for a weekend trip back to San Francisco, my adopted home town. It was perfect--a great guide around the locations and freaks that make SF the best city in our country. You Suck is even funnier than Bloodsucking Fiends because of the addition of a new character, Abby Normal, a teenage-age goth turned giddy minion. Susan Bennett's readings of Abby Normal's journal entries made me laugh out loud every time.
I'm hoping that Christopher's next announced book, Bite Me, slated for 2010 is a part III and is also read by Susan Bennett.
Because this is a character-driven book and the characters grow on you with exposure, I recommend reading Bloodsucking Fiends before starting on You Suck. You'll then welcome The Emporor and The Animals back rather than be annoyed by their craziness.
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Story
- Valerie
- 02-08-12
this is just funny....its good funny fiction
this is just funny....good funny fiction.
I would recommend it.
Mind you..I think you have to have some twisted humor in mind but its funny
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Overall
- Kara Decker
- 10-07-07
The fifth star is for the narrator
Great book, but I can't imagine having enjoyed it quite as much without the narrator's talented portrayal of the characters. Every character had its own nuanced voice.
Funny characters, amusing story line, fantastic dialogue. I wish I had realized that it was a sequel, though, because I hate reading series books out of order. Nevertheless, I fully enjoyed this book even without having read the predecessor.
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- Val
- 11-20-15
Abby Normal rocks
Abby Normal is the best and main reason to listen. the narrator was exceptional. her different voices were fab!
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- KellysHero718
- 12-07-21
Falls Short
I dunno, maybe this book is better than I judged it, but it falls short of so many of Moore's other books. The writing and humor common to his other books attempt to carry the book, but just can't do it. Too bad, because I really wanted to and expected to enjoy the listen.
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Overall
- Dottie Smutz
- 11-14-20
Laugh, Laugh. Laugh!
Christopher Moore is one of my favorite authors and I love this book! The narrator Susan Bennett is a hoot! wow, so talented!!! I will now read anything she narrates! She would make a stereo manual a great listen lol
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- CPFF
- 09-03-22
I love Moore but, the production...
I love all Christopher Moore Titles. The narrator and the story of this book are on par with all of his work. However, between chapters, they play music that sounds like you woke up at 1am after leaving the T.V. on Cinemax in the '90s. if you like Moore you will like this story but be prepared for softcore "large sausage pizza delivery" music between every chapter.
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Overall
- Helen Olmsted
- 02-10-07
Amusing
Good story, and the characters are interesting and amusing. The reader does an excellent job with characters' voices.
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- Kindle Customer
- 09-06-18
Hilarious!!!
the first book of this series was great, but the addition of a certain goth girl made this one a million times better! Hilariousness for days!!!
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Overall
- Deborah
- 09-14-08
Do They Give Awards For "Best Reader"?
I'm not at all surprised to have enjoyed this yarn - Christopher Moore's twisted plots and California Speak dialogue is impossible to resist, even at its least inspired. What did surprise me was how much this book benefitted from being read aloud by Susan Bennett. The ease with which Ms. Bennett switches from one urban California accent to another is simply amazing. From Hispanic Cop to Goth Valley Girl to Chinese Granny Just Off The Boat to Jock Doofus to African-American MBA, you name it-Bennett can mimic it to perfection. This woman needs an exclusive contract to record ALL of Christopher Moore's works - nobody else can do him complete justice.
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25 people found this helpful