Showing results by author "Dan Gutman" in All Categories

Coke and Pepsi McDonald didn’t want to jump off a cliff. They didn't want to get hit by poisoned darts from blowguns either. And they certainly don't want to get locked in their burning school, thrown into a pit at the top of a sand dune, or drowned in a vat of liquefied Spam. But what are you supposed to do when you’re being chased across the country by your insane health teacher and two guys in bowler hats who are trying to kill you? One thing's for sure, it'll be a snap for Coke and Pep to write their essays on "How I Spent My Summer Vacation."

Every day is an adventure for A. J. and the gang. Now your favorite holiday hijinks are available in a single audio collection! Summer is almost over, and you know what that means - time to head back to school! But when a tropical storm ends A.J.'s vacation earlier than expected, he and his family have to stay at Andrea's house. Ugh, disgusting! Soon after, everyone in the house starts getting cabin fever, and even back-to-school shopping won't calm the kids down. So, Andrea and A.J. are sent to Camp Ockatollyquay. The catch? It's a camp to get kids ready for school!

Something weird is going on! Ms. LaGrange talks funny and she's from some other country called France! She thinks the vomitorium is a fancy restaurant! She grows her own food right out of the ground! Yuck! Plus, she's writing secret messages in the mashed potatoes!

The wackiest road trip in history continues in book four of the New York Times best-selling Genius Files series, following twins Coke and Pepsi as they dodge villains and visit weird-but-true landmarks from Texas all the way to Roswell, New Mexico. With the real-kid humor that has earned him millions of fans around the world, and featuring all-new weird-but-true locations around America, From Texas with Love is absolutely batty!

Miss Lazar, the janitor, likes to dance around the school with a mop. She has a secret room in the basement where she keeps the bad kids, and she's the weirdest custodian in the world.

Dan Gutman’s critically acclaimed children’s books have won numerous accolades, including the Booklist Editor’s Choice. In this seventh hilarious book in Gutman’s My Weird School series, A.J. still hates school, but he’s developed a giant crush on the school nurse, Mrs. Cooney. Unfortunately, a couple of A.J.’s classmates also like Mrs. Cooney - plus, she’s married. And then things get even more confusing when A.J. begins to think his crush might be an international spy.

It's Poetry Month and Ms. Coco, who runs the gifted and talented program, is poetry crazy! She cries when she sees a sunset! She thinks boys should have feelings! She talks in rhyme! All the time! Will A.J.'s life ever be normal again?

A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted. Mrs. Patty, the secretary, gives out the best Halloween candy in the history of the world! But her house is haunted! People say she's a witch and her husband is a ghost. Is it worth A.J.'s risking his life for the best candy ever?

Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling french fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history - and the most awesome!

Award-winning author Dan Gutman delivers the fourth amusing tale from his popular My Weird School series. Even for an art teacher, Ms. Hannah is pretty strange. She wears dresses made out of potholders and collects garbage instead of throwing it out—so her students can use it in their artwork. And now, she’s making A.J. be partners with smelly Andrea. This is going to be the worst art class ever!

Something weird is going on! Miss Suki is a famous children's book author - and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!

Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports.

A.J. thinks that nothing can possibly be as boring as a sleepover in the natural history museum. However, anything can happen when Ms. Krup is in charge. She says the dinosaur skeletons come to life in the middle of the night. Is she right?

Something weird is going on! A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job. They’re going to have to do the detective work to get the goods on her. But it won’t be easy! Ms. Todd is the weirdest substitute teacher in the history of the world!

Kid favorite Dan Gutman returns with another installment of the beloved My Weird School series. At Ella Mentry school, the grown-ups are all a little weird in their own unique ways. The sixth installment introduces Mr. Hynde, the substitute music teacher, who thinks he's a rock-and-roll star - and he even shows up on TV!

Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?

A.J. and his friends are starting fourth grade. A new school year means a new teacher, and Miss Banks may be their weirdest one yet. She won’t stop playing practical jokes on the class, and A.J. has reached his breaking point. Will he and the gang learn to not fall for their teacher’s tricks? Or will Miss Banks prevail as the ultimate prankster?

Winter break is over, and it’s another five months until summer vacation. A.J. and his friends aren’t looking forward to school starting back up, but they’re even less excited when Dr. Carbles, president of the Board of Education, cancels ALL school holidays. No Presidents' Day, no Memorial Day, and forget about any snow days! Morale is down, but Mrs. Roopy, the librarian, has a trick up her sleeve. Instead of celebrating traditional holidays, the school will celebrate real holidays that no one has ever heard of!

Valentines Day is just around the corner, and Mr. Louie, the hippie crossing guard, wants everyone to fall in love. So he puts a secret love potion in the water fountain. Will A.J. have to kiss Andrea?

A.J. and the gang are all old enough now to participate in after-school clubs, but they’ve never heard of clubs like these. Forget Chess Club, Book Club, or Computer Club—Ella Mentry School only has wacky clubs like Lawn Mower Racing Club, Cloud Watching Club, and Underwater Hockey Club. And Miss Marge is in charge of every group! Will the kids be able to find the perfect club under these very weird circumstances?