Showing results by narrator "Joe Hempel" in All Categories

John Rast went to the Ren Faire looking for a fight. Well, a simulated fight, with blunt swords and safety equipment. But when his final opponent turns into a living, fire-breathing dragon, John finds himself in the fight of his life. It's John or nothing stopping a disaster in its tracks - and the only real weapon at hand is his mom's Volvo. So John decides to let it roll....

He didn't want to be in the game. Now, he has to save it. Killed on the first day on the job, 25-year-old police officer Nyle Maxwell finds his mind uploaded to Capes Online, the world's biggest and most popular VRMMORPG. Yet, the one-way, mind-to-game upload process means that Nyle can never return to his physical body. Now, he must become a real superhero and protect Capes Online from both hostile players and malevolent AIs and NPCs alike that seek to destroy the game itself.

Alex Vane was once a top investigative journalist. Now he peddles celebrity gossip and clickbait listicles, watching from a distance as his wife moves on with her life - without him. But Alex's past catches up to him when he learns that an old source, James Stacy, has been killed in a random mass shooting. James left Alex one last scoop: a 50-year-old hard drive that may contain a secret worth killing for...and the name of the one person who can help him access the data.

The Science of Engineering Attraction & Love is an in-depth look at human attraction and what draws people together. It dives into peer-reviewed research, combined with the insightful and straightforward observations of a renowned dating coach - Patrick King is an internationally best-selling author and acclaimed speaker and coach. Together, this audiobook is the ultimate guide to inform, diagnose, and recommend highly actionable steps to take your dating life to the next level.

At 26, Hope has only ever slept with one man, and at her boss's unsolicited advice, Hope plans to forget the abuse and degradation she suffered at her ex's hand by seducing and bedding the next man she meets. Only after Hope finds a promise of death at her doorstep, her plans are derailed, and her only chance at staying alive rests on the dedication of her new bodyguard and her own sheer will to live the life she deserves.

Iaka Kazumi is enjoying her life as a research scientist, at least until her former Earth Force boss calls. Iaka finds herself dragged back into the dangerous world of espionage and running for her life. Marcus Drake and Solomon Keys rush to try and save her before it’s too late. Hunted by black-masked assassins while on the trail of a dangerous techno-cult, Marcus, Solomon, and Iaka crisscross the galaxy in an attempt to save the Earth from a dark fate. An old enemy becomes an ally, and the final battle will leave the Earth changed forever.

Nevermore…Nevermore…Nevermore. Ever since Edgar Allen Poe penned those words to paper in 1845, the infamous response of the raven has continued to echo throughout history. The poem has become so familiar that we know it in our bones. From the memorable opening line—Once upon a midnight dreary—Poe paints a bleak scene that swiftly catapults us to the depths of heartbreak and grief.

Carjacked and snatched by escaped mass murderer Terrence Hingle, timid diner waitress Tilly Mulvehill becomes the meat in a maniac sandwich when she and her kidnapper encounter the deranged Ritter twins, Dwayne and Dwight. As Tilly fights for her life, she soon discovers that sometimes the only choice you have is to do or die...to Die Dog or Eat the Hatchet. This pulpy Southern Gothic thriller takes no prisoners as it roars towards its gruesome conclusion.

The last Blockbuster video store in the United States is hanging on by a thread. And after a crazy night attempting to track down a lost VCR rental to collect the record-setting and internet-famous late fee, three employees, idealistic Eva, cinephile Jerry, and their tyrannical manager Randy, discover that this machine may actually have the power to change the endings of popular films, which, depending on the historical basis of the film, might also be changing the real world around them. Or could this just be an elaborate, increasingly deadly prank?

Meet Lawson: A cynical, wise-cracking vampire charged with protecting the Balance - the secret existence of a race of living vampires who have evolved alongside humanity for thousands of years. A fixer. Part-spy, and part-commando-James Bond with fangs, Lawson mixes shrewd cunning with unmatched lethality to get his job done. He tries his best to dismantle conspiracies, dispatch bad guys, and live long enough to get home. Arvella: A power-hungry member of the vampire governing body, the Council. She wants power and will stop at nothing to get it. Even if it means kidnapping a child.

A couple of jerks wake me up at the crack of noon. Seems my klepto uncle stole an ancient deck of Tarot cards from a high-powered wizard, and too many losers want to ruin my day to get them back. The cards are cool, so I check them out, but my magic-happy cousin, Sabrina, tells me I'm not supposed to touch them. Oops. Too late. Now the damn cards are tuned to me, and if someone else wants to use them, I have to die. Why couldn't she have led with that information?

No one is more surprised than Asher, one of the oldest vampires on Earth, that he's attracted to vamp hunter Jo Radcliffe. She's smart, a talented slayer, and she's gorgeous. Something about her pulls at him, like no one ever has before. For a man whose name strikes fear in everyone - this is something new and intriguing. And quite possibly deadly, if she discovers his secret.

Evan Portin is at a sad, scary place in his life. While taking a long walk to compose himself and figure out where to go from here, he encounters a young woman being mugged in a park. When he tries to intervene, he discovers that she doesn't need his help. At all. Her name is Harriett. She is very, very good at defending herself. Everything she owns is in a large backpack. She's never seen a cell phone. She's never been in a car. She's never really ventured into the outside world. And she says she's traveling across the country to slay a Cyclops. She's crazy, right?

When US DEA Special Agent Lelisa Desmond refuses to follow an order to bury evidence in a high profile case, her superior hires a hit man to forever silence her deep in the ocean off Grand Cayman Island. Lelisa survives the first attempt on her life, but someone close to her is mistakenly murdered in her place. With no one to trust, Lelisa enlists Inspector Alec Dyer for assistance but soon learn she's his number one suspect in the homicide. She sets off on a daring mission to bring down the man who ordered her execution.

With her former captor, the shadow sorcerer Daktari, now serving as her mentor, Princess Shara must learn to control the power of the Divine Key. Concerned about the princess’ growing power, the Void dispatches its mightiest champion, the fallen prince, Nord, to capture her. And lurking in the dark between worlds is the elder demon Balthis, just waiting for a chance to join with his master and destroy the world. Can Shara grasp her power and seal away the Void before Nord forces her to free Balthis? It’s a race to the finish with the fate of the world hanging in the balance.

Meet Lawson. A cynical, wisecracking vampire charged with protecting the Balance - the secret existence of a race of living vampires that have evolved alongside humanity for thousands of years. Named after the Hindu god of destruction, Shiva is half-vampire and half-lycanthrope. Able to change her appearance into anyone she pleases, she is one of the most dangerous assassins on the planet. Belarus, the head of the vampire governing body, the Council, is Shiva's next target.

The Snowman's Children is a poignant, psychologically intense first novel that tells the story of an incident from one man's childhood in the 1970s, when a serial killer called The Snowman stalked the streets of suburban Detroit. The incident, a result of good but woefully misguided juvenile intentions, forced his family to leave their home, and eventually forced him, at age 29, to return to his hometown in search of three old friends.

The High Kingdom has known 20 years of peace. The true reason is unknown to everyone, save Sultan Vilos the First. At the height of the Crown War, Vilos made a deal with a powerful sorcerer. Vilos’ reign would be secured in exchange for his first-born daughter. The sorcerer promised to come for the princess on her 18th birthday. That day is today. The sorcerer is coming to claim his due, and if he doesn’t get it, all Hell is going to break loose.

Deep down you know you were meant for more in this world but you can't shake this feeling. What's stopping you from making it happen? What's holding you back from unlocking your maximum potential? I know exactly what is holding you back. Everything you want in life can still happen. Financial freedom, personal success, creating a legacy; it's not out of reach. In fact it's all within your grasp. But first you need to do one very important thing. You need to get out of your own way.

A collection of short stories, flash fiction, and micro works. Slush includes previously published stories "Skull of Snakes", "Jackie Boy", and "Sweet 16" alongside a fresh batch of terrifying stories to help you sleep at night.