Witchless in Seattle

Hello. My name is Stevie Cartwright, and I've been witchless for 30 days. If only there was a support group for down-on-their-luck ex-witches who've had their powers slapped right out of them (literally). Just as I was licking my wounds after returning to my hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, and navigating my suddenly nonmagical existence with the help of my familiar, Belfry, things got sticky. Enter an ex-spy and newly departed spirit named Winterbottom, who's infiltrated my life with his sexy British accent and a couple of requests....

Hello again! It's me, Stevie Cartwright, ex-witch and new Madam Zoltar. I was fresh off the murder-suspect list and just settling into Madam Z's psychic medium shoes - with the help of my bat familiar Belfry and spirit spy Win - when another death rocked sleepy little Ebenezer Falls, Washington state. Tito Bustamante, my beloved purveyor of mouth-watering Mexican munchies, has been found dead in the food truck court. Rumor has it that Tito was stickin' his chimichanga where it didn't belong, and my gut - not to mention his less-than-natural death - says murder.

I, ex-witch Stevie Cartwright, do hereby solemnly swear to avoid future murder-mystery shenanigans, nosiness, tomfoolery, and any further crazy killer-inflicted pain to my person, so help me goddess. Ha! Like I could help myself. But after busting my butt (literally!) on the last murder case in my beloved hometown of Ebenezer Falls, Washington, I could use a nice long break. Until shazam - a dead man invites himself to our fancy housewarming party!

When last we met, dear friends, a man had come calling, claiming to be Crispin Alistair Winterbottom, my dead British ex-spy. A notion I'd find ludicrous, if the handsome imposter didn't, in fact, look exactly like my dead British ex-spy. But there's no time for that mystery when a quiet walk on our private stretch of beach turns up something far more pressing - another tragedy in my beloved small Washington town. That's right. I, Stevie Cartwright, ex-witch turned amateur sleuth, have stumbled upon another murder. But this time it's closer to home, more personal.

It's Christmas, and I, ex-witch Stevie Cartwright, declare this my favorite time of year. I love the decorations! The food! The Hallmark Channel holiday specials! This year promises to be better than ever because for the first time in a very long time, I'm going to have more than just Cheez Whiz, Triscuits, and the wish to be surrounded by family and friends. My carefully planned holiday bonanza includes all the usual suspects.

My name is Crispin Alistair Winterbottom, and I'm a British spy.... Or I was until my untimely, dare I say, suspicious demise. Now, I'm a ghost, living my afterlife on what I fondly call Plane Limbo. But I'm determined to return to the land of the living and while I try and figure out exactly how to do that, I spend my days with the ever delightful ex-witch, Stevie Cartwright, the only person in the world who can hear me, and her charming bat familiar, Belfry.

After a really busy summer, things have settled down for my crew here in Ebenezer Falls. That is, until my favorite spy, Win, has a crazy recollection of the night he was murdered. His memory leads us to the new tattoo artist in town who just happens to be an ex-nun named Trixie Lavender. Sister Trixie has a gifted tattoo artist for a sidekick who just happens to be a demon straight from the bowels of Hell... A demon who, coincidentally, is accused of murder, that is. You know what that means - Stevie and the gang to the rescue!

It's me again, Stevie Cartwright. Powerless ex-witch, pseudo medium, and amateur sleuth, reporting to you live from the case of the missing ex-British spy turned ghost/quite possibly one of the most important people to ever become a part of my life. You read that right. As Win and I and all the gang were busy planning our big Thanksgiving bash, he suddenly disappeared (right in the middle of telling me what a Philistine I am for even suggesting Cheez Whiz and crackers), and it's as if he never existed. Poof - he's just gone!

When last we met, good people, the biggest wish I've ever made came to fruition. My outrageously handsome, smart, sometimes persnickety (read mostly persnickety) Spy Guy, Winterbottom, is finally here on earth with me, recuperating from his afterlife jaunt. Sure, he can be a difficult patient. Add in the fact that some of the spells I've cast to make this dream a reality have had repercussions (an understatement), and it's been sheer chaos. When my favorite men decide that I should take a day for myself, I hesitantly head out. And then I die. You can imagine, it only goes downhill....

Stevie here, and I'm happy to report we've settled into our new lives and found a modicum of peace since our last death-defying incident. Mostly....My International Man of Mystery continues to lay low here in Ebenezer Falls until we can sort out his earthbound credentials, but we have a routine and as the holiday season begins, we're ready to do a little celebrating. In the midst of us adjusting to life together, a surprise visitor shows up, knocking us both for a loop, but for two entirely different reasons.

Now that Win is up and about, he's been a very busy bee. He's jumped in with both feet, getting involved in our community and living his best life now that he's unencumbered by his spy past. He even joined the Ebenezer Falls garden club and made all the female member's toes curl with his British charm. On a flower-scouting trip for the garden club's annual spring planting in the town square, while Win is ogling lavender bushes and pansies, I fall headfirst into a pile of soil where a body's buried.

Stevie here, reporting to you live from Ebenezer Falls, Washington, with my disaster of a day. It started off like any other day, with the exception of Win's strange behavior, that is. But it's all gone downhill from there and I have questions. So many questions.... For instance, why is everyone else in Eb Falls behaving as strangely as my International Man of Mystery? And who the heck is Donna? For that matter, who's Candy Cane and why does she have snow? Who's the blonde picking up Win in our driveway? And was that an Aston Martin I just saw drive by?

Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married! No, silly. Not us. Team #Stewin is still enjoying being engaged and a nice long winter hiatus from murder and ghost chasing. Until we open up Madam Zoltar's for the beginning of tourist season and the first customers are a bridal party from the seventh level of you-know-where!

This time I'm the case that needs solving. Almost all of the criminals dead or alive that we've captured or we've had a hand in doling out their fate, have been stalking me via the ghost of my very first case. Sal Finch. Win's vengeful cousin, angry and bitter when he lost all of Win's inheritance to me and tried to kill me, has somehow figured out how to read people on this plane and get them to do his bidding. How do I, mostly a mere mortal, fight off someone from the afterlife still holding a big, fat grudge?

'Tis I, newly restored witch and armchair sleuth Stevie Cartwright, and I'm finally about to marry Win, my soul mate/ex-spy turned groom-zilla. We've gone to hell and back (and a few planes of existence) for our happily ever after, and nothing's going to get in the way of our union . . . except possibly a murder while auditioning musical options for the reception.