After the Tears
Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood Trauma
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Narrated by:
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Lucinda Gainey
About this listen
The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink.
If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong - even when it isn't your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?
Having devoted much of their careers to working with ACOAs, therapists Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell now take a deeper look into the origin and cost of childhood pain, as well as the grief resolution process that is integral to recovery. This revised and expanded edition of their groundbreaking 1986 hit After the Tears discusses the latest research and offers insights on living a good life despite a dysfunctional childhood by tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality.
Download the accompanying reference guide.©1986, 2010 Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Great advice IF you decide to or must continue a relationship with someone with BPD
- By Sarah M. on 05-21-24
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Science of Stuck
- Breaking Through Inertia to Find Your Path Forward
- By: Britt Frank LSCSW
- Narrated by: Sasha Heinz, Britt Frank LSCSW
- Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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We all experience stuckness in our lives. We feel stuck in our relationships, career paths, body struggles, addiction issues, and more. Many of us know what we need to do to move forward—but find ourselves unable to take the leap to make it happen. And then we blame and shame ourselves, and stay in a loop of self-doubt that goes nowhere. The good news is you’re not lazy, crazy, or unmotivated. In this empowering and action-oriented guide, you’ll discover why we can’t think our way forward—and how to break through what’s holding us back.
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Mental health is a physical process
- By Meagen G. on 04-18-22
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The New Codependency
- Help and Guidance for Today's Generation
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- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
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In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. In The New Codependency, she clears up misconceptions, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
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Please offer with different narrator
- By Janie on 11-12-09
By: Melody Beattie
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
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- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
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- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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Not what I would recommend as a therapist who works primarily with children
- By Amanda on 02-12-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
- By: Sherrie Eldridge
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
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The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame. With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the 20 complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love.
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The glass is half empty.
- By stephen blackwell on 07-19-24
By: Sherrie Eldridge
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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What listeners say about After the Tears
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Carina
- 04-14-15
A cornerstone
Excellent analysis! This is a must read for adult children of alcoholics. The information provided definitely helped me in my grieving process.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Lydia Miller
- 11-02-22
So much I can relate to!
I cried the whole first chapter...Even tho our parents weren't alcohol, abuse knows abuse...the effects create the same damage on little kids...and then we carry these around with us as adults.
Many thanks for this book, it helps me understand myself, my siblings and our parents.
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- Geovanny
- 02-09-21
Full of good practical advice that you can apply to your everyday life.
It’s not easy to heal. consistent effort and endurance can get you there. Speak out, seek help, submit to good leadership and heal. There is something better ahead. There’s someone praying for you even tho you don’t know.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-15-24
Opened my eyes!
This book really opened my eyes to many of my current behaviors and how my childhood upbringing created this behavior. I believe in moving forward and not blame my past for my current everyday life. I found this book wasn’t necessarily pointing finger or blaming anyone, just explaining the how’s and why’s of growing up with an alcoholic parent. This book gave me insight and relatable examples of some of my triggers that I didn’t necessarily know I had. There are profound examples of how my current behaviors are a direct result of childhood traumas. I also liked the ideas of how to change this behavior.
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- Debra
- 07-13-16
Great book!
Thorough, understandable, easy to listen to. She discusses the trauma, how it affects survivors, and how to move forward in good detail with helpful examples. This book could be helpful for anyone new to recovery from trauma or someone who's already been on a journey for awhile.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Shirley
- 09-08-17
Pain and Longing
I am 63 years old and just beginning to take steps toward admitting I need healing. For me this book touched on many areas that I could realistically relate to. while it includes material which does not apply to me it touches on many realistic events of life that are experienced by children with an alcoholic parent.
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7 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-24-17
a helpful book that explains ACOA clearly
I found this book to be very insightful. I am new to this recovery process and was delighted to have this to use as part of my acoa program
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1 person found this helpful
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- Lori Kagarise
- 03-09-21
A must read!
This book is a must read for anyone with childhood trauma! It’s thought provoking. It provided lots of insight!
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- Jeffenie Pashkowsky
- 07-20-16
Very Helpful
This book is like going to fortune teller. It tells you the very personal details of your own life. It's amazing how much we ACOAs have in common.
This book was incredible in helping me to work through my depression, helping me to let go of all of my childhood secrets and know that I can own them and own my story. And tell it to help others.
I Highly recommend this book if you have an alcoholic in your life. <3
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8 people found this helpful
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- Danielle Chavez
- 08-04-18
Fantastic Resource
This book gets a bit more specific than the ACA Big Red Book, which I also highly recommend. I bought the hard copy too, so I can review, study and highlight. Packed with useful tools and information. Validating and sometimes painful to listen to, but next level in its value.
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4 people found this helpful