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After the Tears

By: Lorie Dwinell, Jane Middleton-Moz
Narrated by: Lucinda Gainey
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Publisher's summary

The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink.

If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong - even when it isn't your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?

Having devoted much of their careers to working with ACOAs, therapists Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell now take a deeper look into the origin and cost of childhood pain, as well as the grief resolution process that is integral to recovery. This revised and expanded edition of their groundbreaking 1986 hit After the Tears discusses the latest research and offers insights on living a good life despite a dysfunctional childhood by tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality.

©1986, 2010 Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell (P)2013 Audible, Inc.
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What listeners say about After the Tears

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A cornerstone

Excellent analysis! This is a must read for adult children of alcoholics. The information provided definitely helped me in my grieving process.

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5 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

So much I can relate to!

I cried the whole first chapter...Even tho our parents weren't alcohol, abuse knows abuse...the effects create the same damage on little kids...and then we carry these around with us as adults.
Many thanks for this book, it helps me understand myself, my siblings and our parents.

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Full of good practical advice that you can apply to your everyday life.

It’s not easy to heal. consistent effort and endurance can get you there. Speak out, seek help, submit to good leadership and heal. There is something better ahead. There’s someone praying for you even tho you don’t know.

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Opened my eyes!

This book really opened my eyes to many of my current behaviors and how my childhood upbringing created this behavior. I believe in moving forward and not blame my past for my current everyday life. I found this book wasn’t necessarily pointing finger or blaming anyone, just explaining the how’s and why’s of growing up with an alcoholic parent. This book gave me insight and relatable examples of some of my triggers that I didn’t necessarily know I had. There are profound examples of how my current behaviors are a direct result of childhood traumas. I also liked the ideas of how to change this behavior.

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Great book!

Thorough, understandable, easy to listen to. She discusses the trauma, how it affects survivors, and how to move forward in good detail with helpful examples. This book could be helpful for anyone new to recovery from trauma or someone who's already been on a journey for awhile.

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3 people found this helpful

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Pain and Longing

I am 63 years old and just beginning to take steps toward admitting I need healing. For me this book touched on many areas that I could realistically relate to. while it includes material which does not apply to me it touches on many realistic events of life that are experienced by children with an alcoholic parent.

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7 people found this helpful

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a helpful book that explains ACOA clearly

I found this book to be very insightful. I am new to this recovery process and was delighted to have this to use as part of my acoa program

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A must read!

This book is a must read for anyone with childhood trauma! It’s thought provoking. It provided lots of insight!

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Very Helpful

This book is like going to fortune teller. It tells you the very personal details of your own life. It's amazing how much we ACOAs have in common.

This book was incredible in helping me to work through my depression, helping me to let go of all of my childhood secrets and know that I can own them and own my story. And tell it to help others.

I Highly recommend this book if you have an alcoholic in your life. <3

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8 people found this helpful

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Fantastic Resource

This book gets a bit more specific than the ACA Big Red Book, which I also highly recommend. I bought the hard copy too, so I can review, study and highlight. Packed with useful tools and information. Validating and sometimes painful to listen to, but next level in its value.

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4 people found this helpful