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Attached to God
- A Practical Guide to Deeper Spiritual Experience
- Narrated by: Mark Smeby, K.J. Ramsey
- Length: 5 hrs and 34 mins
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Publisher's summary
Why does God feel so far away? The reason - and the solution - is in your attachment style.
We all experience moments when God's love and presence are tangible. But we also experience feeling utterly abandoned by God. Why?
The answer is found when you take a deep look at the other important relationships in your life and understand your attachment style. Through his years working in trauma recovery programs, extensive research into attachment science, and personal experiences with spiritual striving and abuse, licensed therapist Krispin Mayfield has learned to answer the question: Why do I feel so far from God?
When you understand your attachment style you gain a whole new paradigm for a secure and loving relationship with God. You'll gain insights about:
- How you relate to others - both your strengths and weaknesses
- The practical exercises you can use to grow a secure spiritual attachment to God
- How to move forward on the spirituality spectrum and experience the Divine connection we all were created for
You'll learn to identify and remove mixed messages about closeness with God that you may have heard in church or from well-meaning Christians. With freedom from the past, you can then chart a new path toward intimate connection with the God of the universe.
An assessment, accompanying appendix, and references are available in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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When you really care about someone, it’s easy to get stuck in painful, even destructive patterns - caving in to a spouse’s manipulation, ignoring a live-at-home son’s irresponsibility, not confronting a friend’s addiction. We excuse people again and again, and then kick ourselves for not setting better boundaries. But this important audiobook, with its transformational tools from leading Christian counselor Tim Clinton and noted author Pat Springle, will guide you in not only breaking through to better relationships but making big changes for the better.
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Worth the read
- By Jessie on 12-29-19
By: Tim Clinton, and others
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Let Hope In
- 4 Choices That Will Change Your Life Forever
- By: Pete Wilson
- Narrated by: Van Tracy
- Length: 5 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Your past is not your past if it’s still impacting your present. Do you ever feel as though your life has become a broken record? You’re hearing the same song play over and over again? Nearly every human being on earth has likely spent some time on the carousel of pain. Whether you’re dealing with the guilt and regret of your own sinful choices, or you’re sitting in the shame of someone else’s deceitful actions, God wants to bring you healing.
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Pete Wilson has practical advice and is inspiring
- By Steve on 06-28-15
By: Pete Wilson
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Brave Enough
- Getting Over Our Fears, Flaws, and Failures to Live Bold and Free
- By: Nicole Unice
- Narrated by: Nicole Unice
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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In Brave Enough, popular author Nicole Unice challenges you to get real about the places where you feel too scared to change, too tired to endure, or too worried to move on. Through personal stories and biblical application, Nicole will lead you on a journey beyond worry and into the life God has planned for you - one that's beautiful, full, and free.
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Very Cliche and White Female Centered
- By Sakinah on 05-25-18
By: Nicole Unice
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No Easy Jesus
- How the Toughest Choices Lead to the Greatest Life
- By: Jason Mitchell, Kyle Idleman
- Narrated by: Jason Mitchell
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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This book will ask you to make tough choices. Because what if the easy life isn't always the best life? What if living a truly full life means so much more than just "believing" in Jesus - and what if he promised you it would be worth it?
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Read this book!
- By Bill Simon on 03-29-17
By: Jason Mitchell, and others
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No Perfect People Allowed
- By: John Burke
- Narrated by: Tom Casaletto
- Length: 12 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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How do we live out the message of Jesus in today’s ever-changing culture? The church is facing its greatest challenge - and its greatest opportunity - in our postmodern, post-Christian world. God is drawing thousands of spiritually curious “imperfect people” to become his church - but how are we doing at welcoming them? No Perfect People Allowed shows you how to deconstruct the five main barriers standing between emerging generations and your church by creating the right culture.
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No Perfect People Allowed
- By Robin on 04-19-09
By: John Burke
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Befriend
- Create Belonging in an Age of Judgment, Isolation, and Fear
- By: Scott Sauls
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Is real friendship too risky? We live in a world where real friendship is hard to find. Suspicious of others and insecure about ourselves, we retreat into the safety of our small, self-made digital worlds. Tragically, even the church can become a place that reinforces this isolation. Jesus models a much richer vision of friendship. Scott Sauls, pastor and teacher, invites you to see the breadth of Christ's love in this audiobook, Befriend.
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Great post election therapy.
- By Manoli on 12-20-16
By: Scott Sauls
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Finding God in the Waves
- How I Lost My Faith and Found It Again Through Science
- By: Mike McHargue
- Narrated by: Mike McHargue
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In Finding God in the Waves, "Science Mike" draws on his personal experience to tell the unlikely story of how science led him back to faith. Among other revelations, we learn what brain scans reveal about what happens when we pray; how fundamentalism affects the psyche; and how God is revealed not only in scripture but in the night sky, in subatomic particles, and in us.
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For those wrestling with the Christian faith
- By steve on 09-14-16
By: Mike McHargue
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Gospel-Centered Mom
- The Freeing Truth About What Your Kids Really Need
- By: Brooke McGlothlin
- Narrated by: Erin Spencer
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
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It's time to stop trying to be the perfect mom. You long to be the mom your kids need, but often you're convinced you come up short. The label "not enough" seems to be stamped across everything you do - and yet parenting is the one thing you want most to get right. What if the solution is simply to embrace the truth that you are not enough - but God is?
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Wowww!
- By Gayle J Silagyi on 06-24-18
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You Are Beloved
- By: Bobby Schuller
- Narrated by: Bobby Schuller
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you ever concerned that you don’t deserve to love and be loved because you are continually having to prove yourself? In You Are Beloved, Bobby Schuller shows you how to let go of these fears and put your trust in the One who sees you for who you really are. Here is an easy to follow, proven path to personal dignity for all those who think they are not good enough no matter how much they achieve. This path is illuminated by the truths that it is not about what you accomplish, but what has already been accomplished for you; not about what you have, but what has already been provided; and not about who others say you are, but who God says you are. Know that you are valued, cared for, and embraced. You Are Beloved will help you rebuild your life as a response to that assurance.
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Always enjoy his books and stories!
- By Ted Ziegenbusch on 09-09-18
By: Bobby Schuller
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Changes That Heal
- Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You
- By: Henry Cloud
- Narrated by: Dick Fredricks
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us struggle with anxiety, loneliness, and feelings of inadequacy. We know that God created us in his image, but how can we be loving when we feel burned out? How can we be free when we struggle with addiction? Will we ever enjoy the complete healing God promises? Combining his professional expertise and personal experience, renowned psychologist Dr. Henry Cloud guides us through four basic ways to become joy-filled, mature followers of Christ.
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Terrible production, excellent book
- By R. Carlson on 10-05-08
By: Henry Cloud
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The Genius of One
- God's Answer for Our Fractured World
- By: Greg Holder
- Narrated by: Greg Holder
- Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
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The world is fractured. Tensions are high, patience is low, and goodwill is hard to come by. In The Genius of One, author and pastor Greg Holder reminds us of the high value Jesus and his early followers placed on community and offers guidance for how to see and relate to one another in emotionally and spiritually healthy ways so that we, the church, can fulfill Jesus' prayer for us and model a better way of loving one another in a fractured world.
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Excellent book, excellent narration!
- By Kelly Brazil on 02-16-24
By: Greg Holder
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He Loves Me!
- Learning to Live in the Father's Affection
- By: Wayne Jacobsen
- Narrated by: Wayne Jacobsen
- Length: 5 hrs and 9 mins
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Do you find yourself picking through circumstances like children plucking daisy petals attempting to figure out whether or not God loves you? If you find yourself least certain of his love in those critical moments when you most need to trust him, there is hope for you. Where? At the one event in human history that forever secured your place in the Father's heart - the cross where Jesus allowed sin and shame to be consumed in his own body so that you could freely embrace a relationship with his Father.
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Amazing
- By Amazon Customer on 04-30-12
By: Wayne Jacobsen
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What listeners say about Attached to God
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Douglas
- 06-25-24
I related to the shame filled attachment style...
Helpful to understand and relateable. I found that the authors understanding of the way things are to be extremely comforting and aiding me in the reality of understanding those internally and externally that God loves me.
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- Adam Shields
- 01-31-23
Helpful and comforting
I primarily am approaching this book from my role as a Spiritual Director, but as with many books about spiritual practices, there is also personal relevance. I initially picked up the audiobook, but eventually purchased the kindle book as well because I wanted to highlight the book. The audiobook is well narrated and the exercises that go with the book and many of the illustrations or quizzes are in a PDF that is available with the audiobook. I may not have purchased the kindle book it if hadn't been on sale when I was reading, but since it was, there was no reason not to get both.
Krispin Mayfield is a counselor adapting his understanding of Attachment Theory from his counseling background to an understanding of spiritual formation. This adaptation of social sciences to bring insight into our understanding of spiritual formation is immensely helpful, even if not every instance of it is perfect. Some examples are Stages of Faith by James Fowler, Trauma in the Pews: The Impact on Faith and Spiritual Practices by Janyne McConnaughey, and Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse–and Freeing Yourself from Its Power by Wade Mullen.
Many within the Christian world are distrustful of the social sciences. And there is a long history of the misuse of social sciences. But Christians should have a commitment to All Truth is God's Truth (a phrase coined by Augustine) and the idea of General Revelation while also understanding the role of discernment in discovering what truth is. The problem with many (but not all) critics of the use of social sciences in Christianity, and especially in understanding Christian formation, is that critics often do not have the background to understand what they oppose. That is where content area specialists like Mayfield can bring social sciences back to Christian practices more easily than theologians, pastors, or spritual directors can go out and learn the social science necessary to work out a similar idea.
The basic idea of Attachment Theory is not too difficult to communicate easily. Infants look to caregivers to understand the world around them. They form affectional bonds with those caregivers for needs like safety and protection. To maintain those bonds children learn responses to maintain those bonds. Mayfield clearly states that we should not draw too straight of a line between our attachment style and parents. Parents often do their best, but there can be reasons why different attachment styles develop other than bad parenting. But the theory also emphasizes why adoption, trauma, abuse, divorce, and other impacts on the parent/child relationship can significantly impact our lives.
One of the helpful threads on the fictional Starbridge series that I have been writing about is that almost all people have some issues with their relationship with their parents. And that often occurs even when parents try to do the best they can, and there is simple miscommunication or differences in temperament that create distance. Sometimes the very act of trying not to make the parents' mistakes can create new problems in a different direction.
There are three basic Attachment patterns,
Secure Attachment (which is the largest group of people),
Anxious Attachment is where there is a continuous concern about whether the connection is a good one. A more passive variation is where a person tends to shutdown when an anxiety is expressed. Or the second type, the Anxious-Avoidant, is where there is an active avoidance of situations where they can feel like they will be rejected as a means to avoid anxiousness around attachment. This second type is most associated with children whose needs were unmet or where there was neglect as opposed to more traditional abuse in the first time of anxious attachment.
Disorganized Attachment is where the attachment seems contradictory. This style was most associated with major loss and unresolved trauma.
Again, a person may move between the categories even if there is a more dominant mode. And there may not be explicit abuse or neglect in people who do not have a secure attachment style.
The book is particularly helpful in looking at our language and spiritual formation writing which seems to reflect less secure attachment styles. In discussing this, Mayfield says, "If you think about it, church history is full of spiritual heroes who focused on God above all else." (kindle location 911)
Or in another place,
"Many Christian practices create ecosystems for perfectionism to grow, because on the surface the effort appears to flow from a deep relationship with God. While this spiritual insecurity can feel like a constant knot in your stomach, it may often bring applause from a church community. You always show up to Bible study having completed all the homework and with the best insights. You volunteer for three ministries at your church. You regularly read books about growing closer to God. You appear to be devout—and you are. But this devotion is driven by an underlying feeling that without spiritual activities, the connection will evaporate. Without regular routines, you doubt that God will stick around. (kindle location 983)"
Mayfield points out that Anxious attachment styles find it difficult to relax in God's love and we are oriented toward what we need to do to maintain God's attention on us.
Mayfield is not only descriptive, he has many exercises and ideas about how to seek healing for a more secure attachment with God.
"There are reasons to change and grow and heal and transform, but getting closer to God is not one of them. If we try to change ourselves because we fear disconnection, it won’t lead to healing. If we conclude that we are the problem, then we think the solution is to get rid of ourselves, often through self-destructive ways. (Kindle Location 1626)"
While I found the book helpful in thinking about spiritual direction, the main personal benefit is being reminded to relax in God because God in the person of Jesus was not disgusted with humans but intentionally came to be with them.
"Based on the popular teaching that God can’t stand sin, we’d expect that God would be disgusted with humans, especially those least holy in society. Surprisingly, when Jesus comes to earth, he doesn’t start puking everywhere. He’s not disgusted. He delights in people, loves spending time and sitting at tables with those who would never have been welcomed into the temple. Jesus, the perfect picture of God, delights in us. This doesn’t mean God’s not upset about harmful systems in the world—Jesus culled corruption from the temple by overturning tables. But clearly he delights in people, including those marginalized by oppressive religious structures. (Kindle Location 1691)"
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3 people found this helpful
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- CJ
- 06-08-23
Better than expected
I am an attachment theory fan. I am also a recovering evangelical. I wasn't sure if this would bring hurtful theology into the discussion. He did and did it well.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-01-22
Bravo!
Resonance of peace is what flooded me over and over throughout. Well researched and artfully written, captivating, and the audio reading was actually enjoyable!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Warrior Woman
- 12-20-22
Very insightful
Great read! Author explains how our early attachment styles with our families of origin affect how we relate to God. He explores how we can get skewed messages about the nature of God coming from a background of childhood trauma or even just less than perfect lives. He provides the reader with exercises on how to repair and better navigate this important relationship and finally experience how God not only loves us, but also likes us. He delights in us!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Gonzalez
- 01-18-24
Great integration of attachment theories and spirituality
I love attachment theory. It’s ones of my favorite counseling theories. The author does a great job at integrating this theory with the Christian faith.
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Overall
- J. Herold
- 05-07-22
Hopeful
I've been struggling in my faith for years, at times wondering if it's worth it at all. But I keep coming back to the hope that if Jesus really is who he says he is, then it IS worth it.
I've been following Krispin on social media for a while, so I was excited to read/listen to this book.
I cried a few times, not gonna lie. I want to listen again to process it more, but I think my favorite part was actually the end where he uses an example from The Last Battle to explain how our hope of finding the true heart of Jesus amid the lies can play out.
I will probably always have questions (what do we do with the doctrine of original sin?) and my faith struggle is far from over, but I really appreciate the honesty and hope in this book. it isn't afraid to "be like a child".
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- W.U. PreventGBV
- 08-20-22
Balm for the Soul
Such a more constructive way for me to integrate attachment theory into my life. I’d never connected the dots to my parents that led to my shutdown style but putting it in this spiritual light made it all make sense. Will listen and read it again.
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- Sheila Hardin
- 07-20-23
Very insightful
Giving a different perspective on how so many “men of faith” approach how we should be with God based on their own attachment style is fascinating!
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- Ryan
- 08-07-24
This was so helpful
Relating attachment theory to our relationship with God was a new concept for me…and so helpful
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