Beyond Shame
Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms
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Narrated by:
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Timothy Andrés Pabon
About this listen
We all carry sexual shame. Whether we grew up in the repressive purity culture of American Evangelical Christianity or not, we've all been taught in subtle and not-so-subtle ways that sex (outside of very specific contexts) is immoral and taboo. Psychotherapist Matthias Roberts helps listeners overcome their shame around sex by overcoming three unhealthy coping mechanisms we use to manage that shame.
Beyond Shame encourages each of us to determine our own definition of healthy sex, while avoiding the ditches of boundary-less sex positivity on the one hand and strict moralistic boundaries on the other. Define your sexual values on your own terms, overcome your shame, and start having great, healthy sex.
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As the wife of a man who is addicted to lust, pornography, or masturbation, you are not alone. Millions of men can't get through the day or the week without clicking on to their favorite Internet porn sites, thumbing through adult magazines, or watching sensual videos - and millions of wives suffer as a result. Over the past decade, nearly 400,000 men have found inspiration and hope in Every Man's Battle, the best-selling men's guide to victory over sexual sin. Now, here at last is the book for every woman who has become a casualty in the fight for sexual purity. Every Heart Restored offers godly guidance and wisdom for a woman facing such personal betrayal.
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Good Book, However...
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
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How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People)
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- Narrated by: Lodro Rinzler, Meggan Watterson
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
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How to Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People) is a smart, hip guide for spiritual seekers who want to experience more love and stability in all forms of relationships. Told from the unique vantage points of authors Meggan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler, this book explores staying anchored in the foundation of self-love as you navigate the natural (and often stormy) cycle of a relationship. Their dual perspectives as teachers and scholars of Christian mysticism and Buddhism make for a rich and fascinating dialogue that covers everything from sex to breakups.
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Felt shallow and not quite on-topic
- By barefoot rabbit on 09-03-20
By: Lodro Rinzler, and others
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Pure
- Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
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- Narrated by: Linda Kay Klein
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In the 1990s, a “purity industry” emerged out of the white evangelical Christian culture. Purity rings, purity pledges, and purity balls came with a dangerous message: girls are potential sexual “stumbling blocks” for boys and men, and any expression of a girl’s sexuality could reflect the corruption of her character. This message traumatized many girls - resulting in anxiety, fear, and experiences that mimicked the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder - and trapped them in a cycle of shame.
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I expected a different ending I suppose
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Jump...and Your Life Will Appear
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Are you ready to make changes in your life - but feel something is holding you back? Is your soul asking you to take a leap - but you’re too afraid to take it? Are you ready for something new - but aren’t sure where to start? If this sounds like you, this audiobook will give you the courage and faith you need to jump across the threshold from where you are - to where you want to be. Jump...and Your Life Will Appear is a step-by-step guide to clearing the path ahead so you can let go and make the change you need the most.
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Inspiring and motivating!
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The Wait
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- Narrated by: JD Jackson, Allyson Johnson
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President/CEO of Franklin Entertainment and former Sony Pictures executive DeVon Franklin and award-winning actress Meagan Good have learned sometimes all we can do is wait for "the one" to come into our lives. They spent years crossing paths, but it wasn't until they were thrown together while working on the film Jumping the Broom that their storybook romance began.
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The Wait Caused Me To Change
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Worthy of Her Trust
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Trust can be rebuilt in your marriage! With patient, loving, self-sacrificing effort, it's possible that one day your wife will risk her heart with you again. And she may even have more respect and love for you than before. In Worthy of Her Trust, Jason Martinkus relates how he repaired his own marriage after revelations of sexual addiction. Along with Stephen Arterburn, Jason offers exercises and tools to help your marriage begin again.
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Best Book on Building Trust
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The 4 Habits of Joy Filled Marriages
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Discover the secrets behind deeper relational bonds and more consistent happiness in this new book about marriage by Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey. Healthy relationships regularly produce joy, and joy keeps the relationship healthy. But this kind of happiness and health in marriage isn't just for the lucky few who stumble upon it. It turns out that certain relational skills boost your happiness. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey will teach you how to develop those skills.
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A Book For Men
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Love Understood
- The Science of Who, How and Why We Love
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
- By James on 03-05-19
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If the Buddha Married
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- Narrated by: Renée Raudman
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
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If the Buddha Married is filled with the same highly practical, spiritually sound guidance that so clearly touched a chord with fans of If the Buddha Dated. Charlotte Kasl is renowned for her ability to speak with depth, wisdom, and humor on important matters of the heart. In If the Buddha Married, Kasl inspires us to create fulfilling and vibrant relationships through a commitment to awareness and truth.
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It's not about "PERFORMANCE".
- By chuck on 03-19-12
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
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- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Necessary reading
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Talking Back to Purity Culture
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The generation born into evangelical purity culture has grown up, and many have started families of their own. But as time goes on, it's becoming more evident that many still struggle with purity culture's complicated legacy - its idolization of virginity, its mixed messages about modesty and lust, and its promise of a healthy marriage and great sex for those who follow the rules. In Talking Back to Purity Culture, Rachel Joy Welcher reviews the movement carefully, examining its teachings through the lens of Scripture.
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Not Talking Back Enough
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Holy Runaways
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In Holy Runaways, psychotherapist Matthias Roberts reaches out to those who, like him, want to understand the religion they've run from and erect a new faith on firmer foundations. He concludes that the best blueprint for a new spiritual home requires reimagining ourselves, God, and our very definition of faith.
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Made me feel seen
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Rooted in her experiences growing up in an evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s You Are Your Own offers an overview of evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.
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great content.
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For much of the 20th and 21st centuries, women’s sexuality was an uncharted territory in science, studied far less frequently - and far less seriously - than its male counterpart. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them.
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Usless!!!
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In Holy Runaways, psychotherapist Matthias Roberts reaches out to those who, like him, want to understand the religion they've run from and erect a new faith on firmer foundations. He concludes that the best blueprint for a new spiritual home requires reimagining ourselves, God, and our very definition of faith.
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Made me feel seen
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Rooted in her experiences growing up in an evangelical Christian family, Jamie Lee Finch’s You Are Your Own offers an overview of evangelicalism and the painful confusion and anxiety experienced under its demands. Finch explores the mechanisms of trauma and how fundamentalist denominations match the patterns connected with PTSD. She elaborates on the doubt, guilt, fear, and grief that haunt those leaving the evangelical faith and offers an approach to help them recover healthy self-worth and resilience.
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Narrator did not connect
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Sex Therapy: Sessions with Chantelle Otten is an empowering, authentic and intimate podcast that takes you under the covers and into the world of sex therapy. During these anonymous, recorded therapy sessions, we meet real people with real questions, issues and desires. We listen as award-winning sexologist Chantelle discovers their truths and works with them to provide a path to sexual pleasure.
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This book fills a much needed deficit in our culture
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Each of us has a dual nature: we are light (conscious) and dark (unconscious). The dark side of our personality - the “other,” the shadow side - is made up of what we think is our primitive, primal, negative impulses - our “existential kink.” Our existential kink also drives the dark or negative repeating patterns in our life: always choosing the abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re undeserving, not worthy. But it also is the source of our greatest power.
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Personal Experience Based Pseudoscience
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What listeners say about Beyond Shame
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Mintchip71
- 06-04-24
Are you looking for Truth or Approval?
If you’re looking for truth, a more helpful book on this topic would be “Talking Back to Purity Culture” by Rachel Joy Welcher
If you’re looking for approval Matthias Roberts uses the subjective language of scripture when it supports his worldview and ignores the more objective passages like Romans 1:24-32.
This author describes a Jesus and gospel that does not align with the whole of scripture. At about 54 minutes into the audiobook the author reveals his distorted understanding of the gospel. This book should not be listed as “Christian Audio”
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- Leigh M
- 08-14-24
Good but had different expectations
I had to listen to it at the speed of 1.5 because the narrator was too slow for me. I thought this book would talk more about how to overcome shame but instead it talked more about the history of shame and where it comes from and how it’s burned into our brains. So having that knowledge is helpful, and I do appreciate that from this book, but I was hoping for a bit more “self-help” at the end.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-07-22
Good info, but author is close minded
Ironically, the author presents a lot of absolutes with little regard or acceptance of other people's ideas and opinions. For example, calling ancient and/or religious ideas "lies", and I am not even religious. Also, I had to double check the book description in order to make sure that it was not geared towards gay folk. But there were some tidbits that a married, straight male could apply to ideas about sex.
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1 person found this helpful