
BoyMom
Reimagining Boyhood in the Age of Impossible Masculinity
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Narrated by:
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Ruth Whippman
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By:
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Ruth Whippman
About this listen
Combining painfully honest memoir, cultural analysis, and reporting, BoyMom is a humorous and heartbreaking deep dive into the complexities of raising boys in our fraught political moment.
“Rapist, school-shooter, incel, man-child, interrupter, mansplainer, boob-starer, birthday forgetter, frat boy, dude-bro, homophobe, self-important stoner, emotional-labor abstainer, non-wiper of kitchen counters. Trying to raise good sons suddenly felt like a hopeless task.”
As the culture wars rage, and masculinity has been politicized from all sides, feminist writer and mother of three boys Ruth Whippman finds herself conflicted and scared. While the right pushes a dangerous vision of fantasy manhood, her feminist peers often dismiss boys as little more than entitled predators-in-waiting. Meanwhile, her home life feels like a daily confrontation with the triumph of nature over nurture.
With young men in the grip of a loneliness epidemic and dying by suicide at a rate of nearly four times their female peers, Whippman asks: How do we raise our sons to have a healthy sense of self without turning them into privileged assholes? How can we find a feminism that holds boys to a higher standard but still treats them with empathy? And what do we do when our boys won’t cooperate with our plans?
Whippman digs into the impossibly contradictory pressures boys now face; and the harmful blind spots of male socialization that are leaving boys isolated, emotionally repressed, and adrift. Feminist gonzo-style, she spends months interviewing incels, reports on a conference for boys accused of sexual assault; crashes at a residential therapy center for young men in Utah, talks to a wide range of psychologists and other experts, and gets boys of all backgrounds to open up about sex, consent, porn, body image, mental health, cancel culture, screens, friendship, and loneliness. Along the way, she finds her simple certainties about male privilege seriously challenged.
With wit, honesty, and a refusal to settle for easy answers, BoyMom charts a new path to give boys a healthier, more expansive, and fulfilling story about their own lives.
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Critic reviews
“Provocative and probing . . . Ruth Whippman investigates the changing orthodoxies of American manhood. She discovers loneliness and failed good intentions but also a longing for connection and moments of grace. Whippman shows us that we ought to think harder about who we want our boys to become.”—Pamela Druckerman, author of Bringing Up Bébé
“Weaving her moving journey as a mother to three sons through a remarkably lucid review of child development and masculinity literatures, Whippman offers a powerful critique of our contemporary model for raising boys.”—Michael Reichert, author of How to Raise a Boy
“This book challenged and educated me, gave me hope while refusing easy answers. . . . A necessary addition to the canon of motherhood books.”—Amanda Montei, author of Touched Out
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- A Parent's Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age
- By: Julie Bogart, Barbara Oakley
- Narrated by: Julie Bogart, Nancy Linari
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when online media has created a virtual firehose of information and opinions, parents and teachers worry how students will interpret what they read and see. Amid the noise, it has become increasingly important to examine different perspectives with both curiosity and discernment. But how do parents teach these skills to their children? Drawing on more than 20 years’ experience homeschooling and developing curricula, Julie Bogart offers practical tools to help children at every stage of development to grow in their ability to explore the world around them.
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Mostly Self Contradictory Liberal Drivel
- By Jesse M. on 02-28-22
By: Julie Bogart, and others
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The Soul of Discipline
- The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance—from Toddlers to Teens
- By: Kim John Payne
- Narrated by: Christopher Brown
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking book, parenting expert and acclaimed author of the bestselling book Simplicity Parenting Kim John Payne, M.Ed., flips the script on children’s challenging or defiant behavior and lays out an elegantly simple plan to support parents in establishing loving, age-sensitive boundaries that help children feel safe and settled. In short: What looks like misbehavior is actually your children’s signal that they’re feeling lost, that they are trying to find direction and looking to you to guide them back on course.
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Excellent!
- By Sarah Lee South on 09-05-24
By: Kim John Payne
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The Yes Brain
- How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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When facing contentious issues such as screen time, food choices, and bedtime, children often act out or shut down, responding with reactivity instead of receptivity. This is what New York Times best-selling authors Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson call a No Brain response. But our kids can be taught to approach life with openness and curiosity. When kids work from a Yes Brain, they’re more willing to take chances and explore. They’re more curious and imaginative. They’re better at relationships and handling adversity.
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Where is the PDF
- By Erin on 02-15-18
By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and others
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The Self-Driven Child
- The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control over Their Lives
- By: William Stixrud PhD, Ned Johnson
- Narrated by: Kaleo Griffith
- Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us know we're putting too much pressure on our kids - and on ourselves - but how do we get off this crazy train? We want our children to succeed, to be their best, and to do their best, but what if they are not on board? A few years ago, Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud started noticing the same problem from different angles: even high-performing kids were coming to them acutely stressed and lacking any real motivation. Many complained that they had no real control over their lives.
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Alt title: Okay ideas to help kids of rich parents
- By S. Ma on 08-10-22
By: William Stixrud PhD, and others
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The Scaffold Effect
- Raising Resilient, Self-Reliant, and Secure Kids in an Age of Anxiety
- By: Harold S. Koplewicz
- Narrated by: Harold S. Koplewicz
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Just as sturdy scaffolding is necessary when erecting a building and will come down when the structure grows stable, good parenting provides children with steady and warm emotional nourishment on the path toward independence. Never-ending parental problem-solving and involvement can have the opposite effect, enabling fragility and anxiety over time.
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Disappointed
- By Jaimie Sauer on 08-04-21
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The All-or-Nothing Marriage
- How the Best Marriages Work
- By: Eli J. Finkel
- Narrated by: Mark Deakins
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss.
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just read the fourth section
- By James Caviness on 01-04-18
By: Eli J. Finkel
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The Joy of Slow
- Restoring Balance and Wonder to Homeschool Learning
- By: Leslie M. Martino, Ainsley Arment - foreword
- Narrated by: Leslie M. Martino, Ainsley Arment
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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In a culture that prizes productivity, efficiency, and success, it’s easy to feel as though we’re constantly falling short and to lose sight of joy. The homeschool community is not exempt from this pressure, but longtime educator Leslie Martino shows parents how to slow down to recapture the delight and depth that are hallmarks of meaningful learning. The Joy of Slow offers a much-needed reset, inspiring parents to prioritize the needs of each individual child and to help them find renewed freedom and passion.
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A quiet Masterpiece!
- By Lorraine Terry on 09-20-24
By: Leslie M. Martino, and others
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This Is So Awkward
- Modern Puberty Explained
- By: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Text book reading for understanding your kids
- By Leap4 on 09-23-24
By: Cara Natterson MD, and others
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Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings
- How to Stop the Fighting and Raise Friends for Life
- By: Dr. Laura Markham
- Narrated by: Dr. Laura Markham
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham, author of Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings, has garnered a large and loyal readership around the world thanks to her simple, insightful approach that values the emotional bond between parent and child. As any parent of more than one child knows, though, it's challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain harmony and a strong connection when competition, tempers, and irritation run high.
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Not for all mothers
- By A mother on 03-05-17
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The Child in You
- The Breakthrough Method for Bringing Out Your Authentic Self
- By: Stefanie Stahl
- Narrated by: Leslie Howard
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Child in You, psychologist Stefanie Stahl guides you, step by step, through her therapeutic method that has helped millions to peel away these layers and reconnect with their inner child - both the shadow child, representing our deepest insecurities and the part of our self-esteem that is injured and unstable, and the sun child, representing our greatest joys and the part of our self-esteem that remains positive and intact.
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Too repetitive
- By Roger D on 06-26-24
By: Stefanie Stahl
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Boundaries with Kids
- How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Children
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Henry O. Arnold
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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What the award-winning, best-selling Boundaries has done for adult relationships, Boundaries with Kids will do for you and your children. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend provide the help and guidance you need for raising your kids to take responsibility for their actions, attitudes, and emotions. With wisdom and empathy, they take you through the ins and outs of instilling the kind of character in your children that will help them lead balanced, productive, and fulfilling adult lives.
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I can already see a difference!
- By Stephen Theall on 10-11-19
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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EMDR
- The Breakthrough Therapy for Overcoming Anxiety, Stress, and Trauma
- By: Francine Shapiro, Margot Silk Forrest
- Narrated by: Jennywren Walker
- Length: 12 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Hailed as the most important method to emerge in psychotherapy in decades, EMDR has successfully treated psychological problems and illnesses in more than one million sufferers worldwide, with a rapidity that defies belief. In a new introduction, Shapiro presents the new applications of this remarkable therapy and the latest scientific research that demonstrates its efficacy.
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“Real” Stories about the Magic of EMDR
- By Joe on 06-16-20
By: Francine Shapiro, and others
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Our Mothers, Ourselves
- How Understanding Your Mother's Influence Can Set You on a Path to a Better Life
- By: Henry Cloud, John Townsend
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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In Our Mothers, Ourselves, Henry Cloud and John Townsend show how understanding how our mothers have profoundly influenced our lives can set us on a path toward wholeness and growth. No one has influenced the person you are today like your mother. The way she handled your needs as a child has shaped your worldview, your relationships, your marriage, your career, your self-image - your life. Our Mothers, Ourselves can help you identify areas that need reshaping, to make positive choices for personal change, and to establish a mature relationship with Mom today.
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NOW I UNDERSTAND
- By Pam H. on 10-30-21
By: Henry Cloud, and others
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Tell Me More
- Stories About the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say
- By: Kelly Corrigan
- Narrated by: Kelly Corrigan
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a crazy idea: trying to name the phrases that make love and connection possible. But that's just what Kelly Corrigan has set out to do here. In her New York Times best-selling memoirs, Corrigan distilled our core relationships to their essences, showcasing a warm, easy storytelling style. Now, in Tell Me More, she's back with a deeply personal, unfailingly honest, and often hilarious examination of the essential phrases that turn the wheel of life.
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hard but worth it
- By erssmith on 09-19-18
By: Kelly Corrigan
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Marriage Rules
- A Manual for the Married and the Coupled Up
- By: Harriet Lerner
- Narrated by: Natalie Ross
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Following a unique format perfect for today's world, the renowned author of The Dance of Anger gives us just over 100 rules that cover all the hot spots in long-term relationships. Marriage Rules offers new solutions to age-old problems ("He won't talk"/"She doesn't want sex") as well as modern ones (your partner's relationship to technology.)
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Opened my eyes
- By Anonymous User on 12-27-22
By: Harriet Lerner
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Disability Intimacy
- Essays on Love, Care, and Desire
- By: Alice Wong
- Narrated by: full cast
- Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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What is intimacy? More than sex, more than romantic love, the pieces in this stunning and illuminating new anthology offer broader and more inclusive definitions of what it can mean to be intimate with another person. Explorations of caregiving, community, access, and friendship offer us alternative ways of thinking about the connections we form with others—a vital reimagining in an era when forced physical distance is at times a necessary norm.
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Great mix of perspectives
- By Alyssum M. Pohl on 08-13-24
By: Alice Wong
What listeners say about BoyMom
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tia Briggs-Sawyer
- 11-04-24
Great read!
I appreciate Whippman’s balanced perspective here. She touched on how patriarchal norms hurt boys and girls, women and men.
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- Rebekah
- 12-13-24
Completely Changed my Perspective of my Two Boys
Anyone that has a boy needs to read this book. It is insightful, enlightening, and honestly mind blowing. It brought up stereotypes that are so ingrained I had no idea that I subscribed to them. The research behind this book is incredible, all of the interviews, places she ventured to, and boys online she talks to is so interesting. I cannot recommend this book enough. I will be rereading this book every few years while I raise my boys to keep all of the information fresh. Oh and I loved that the author read it, she has a great accent and voice that is fun to listen to.
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- Client d'Amazon
- 08-24-24
Outstanding analysis
Anyone who is raising a boy or wants to ensure our nation’s boys thrive should read this book.
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- Alexandra
- 12-05-24
The Most Impactful Parenting Book I’ve Read
Do not miss this book. It is truly transformative, and will provide you with profound insight into how to be the best possible feminist mother to your sweet boy.
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- SDMama
- 09-17-24
Fantastic
This is a book that everyone should read, whether you’re a Boy Mom or not. Thank you to Ruth Whippman for starting this conversation!
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- Kakki
- 07-15-24
Amazing book - relevant for all
This is one of the best books I have read in a long time. I am a mother of two young boys so was drawn to this, but as I begin listening I really felt everyone should read this book. I have five brothers who have struggled in various ways, one of which died by suicide about 10 years ago. I deeply related to a lot of the things she describes, from folks being sympathetic that I have two boys, to the crucial human connection that boys often miss out on in this life. I felt her accounting was very honest, nuanced, and straightforward. Highly recommend!
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- frank
- 02-07-25
Relatable.
All of my thoughts, concerns, wonders, worries, emotions, and motivations about raising a boy were validated in this book. It gave me an opportunity to listen, reflect, question, and put thoughts into action. There was a sense of community listening to the stories within. Thank you.
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- BM
- 04-29-25
A different perspective
As a masculine conservative female mother, I struggle to see the issue with masculinity and did a lot of wincing while listening to this book. Overall it was a good book with a lot of self reflection. I think the author fails to realize that men and women are desperate to separate ourselves from one another. Feminism has created a smaller gap between the sexes and we are trying to set ourselves apart from one another. As a very masculine woman, I struggled to find a masculine man. I want to feel like a woman, just like a man wants to feel like a man. I cannot help but think how all of these issues she discusses would be solved if women were allowed to stay home and raise their children, like they are meant to be. Yes, you read that right, meant to be. That is coming from a woman who works in a male dominated field. I have more important job at home that I cannot do since it takes two incomes to survive. Who thought it was a “lesser” role in society raising the next generation? Women have lost the “choice” to stay home and we are seeing the consequences. Who needs friends when u family?
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- Débora
- 09-18-24
Some good points that take too long to come up
I wanted to read this hopping that would provide insights based on something. although there are some valid points, the author takes too long describing her own experience, but also painting a general picture that just seems too exaggerated and with no support apart from hear say.
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- somethingusual
- 12-06-24
"consent is a murky concept"
I was looking for practical advice about raising emotionally intelligent boys and I got none of that from this book. The author goes into lengthy deliberations about whether "the men are ones who are now oppressed" as a result of feminists' work. She interviews incels and convicted rapists and somehow comes to a conclusion that consent is now a murky concept that became too hard for modern boys to grasp, among other ridiculous statements. I will be asking for a refund and I wish I could get my time back after listening to this.
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4 people found this helpful