Decoding Boys
New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons
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Narrated by:
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Cara Natterson
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By:
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Cara Natterson
About this listen
“If you’re raising a boy, you need this brilliant book. It is clear, wise, and eye-opening.” (Lisa Damour, PhD, author of Untangled)
When boys enter puberty, they tend to get quiet - or at least quieter than before - and parents often misread their signals. Here’s how to navigate their retreat and steer them through this confusing passage, by the best-selling author of The Care and Keeping of You series and Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys.
What is my son doing behind his constantly closed door? What’s with his curt responses, impulsiveness, newfound obsession with gaming, and...that funky smell? As pediatrician and mother of two teenagers Cara Natterson explains, puberty starts in boys long before any visible signs appear, and that causes confusion about their changing temperaments for boys and parents alike. Often, they also grow quieter as they grow taller, which leads to less parent-child communication. But, as Natterson warns in Decoding Boys, we respect their increasing "need" for privacy, monosyllabic conversations, and alone time at their peril. Explaining how modern culture mixes badly with male adolescent biology, Natterson offers science, strategies, scripts, and tips for getting it right:
- Recognizing the first signs of puberty and talking to our sons about the wide range of "normal" through the whole developmental process
- Why teenagers make irrational decisions even though they look mature - and how to steer them toward better choices
- Managing video game and screen time, including discussing the unrealistic and dangerous nature of pornography
- Why boys need emotional and physical contact with parents - and how to give it in ways they’ll accept
- How to prepare boys to resist both old and new social pressures - drugs, alcohol, vaping, and sexting
- Teaching consent and sensitivity in the #MeToo culture
Decoding Boys is a powerful and validating lifeline, an audiobook that will help today’s parents keep their sons safe, healthy, and resilient, as well as ensure they will become emotionally secure young men.
Praise for Decoding Boys
"Comforting...a common-sensical and gently humorous exploration of male puberty's many trials." (Kirkus Reviews)
©2020 Cara Natterson (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"Decoding Boys offers remarkable scientific insight as to why teenage boys seem to shut down and behave antisocially once they enter puberty. We would say we wish this book was around when we were teenagers, but we were too busy playing videogames, underage drinking, and lying to our parents to read." (Nick Kroll and Andrew Goldberg, co-creators of Big Mouth)
"Fifty years ago the publication of Our Bodies, Ourselves lifted women up by replacing ignorance and prejudice with knowledge and the power of sisterhood. Decoding Boys is equally revolutionary in its mission to help us understand the nuances of how boys develop. Natterson’s warm, candid, and conversational style gives us a vibrant, page-turning deep dive into both their emotional and physical growth; hers is an authoritative and passionate voice. I finished reading this book enlightened and excited to share it with parents of boys everywhere." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)
"Decoding Boys debunks the widespread myth of the inscrutable teenage boy. Dr. Cara Natterson illuminates boys' inner lives, details the pressures they face from the outside world, and teaches parents how to effectively engage and support their adolescent sons. Decoding Boys is clear, wise, and eye-opening. If you're raising a boy, you need this brilliant book." (Lisa Damour, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of Untangled and Under Pressure)
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No parent experienced their teen years the way that children do today. This guide provides strategies and tips for actively learning the world of our children.
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Every parent should read this!!
- By Kitty Kitty on 10-20-19
By: Dr. John Duffy
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans
- How to Decode Their Behavior, Develop Unshakable Trust, and Raise a Respectable Adult
- By: Josh Shipp
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Written in Shipp's playfully authoritative, no-nonsense voice, The Grown-Up's Guide to Teenage Humans tells his story and unpacks practical strategies that can make a difference. Ultimately, it's not about shortcuts or magic words - as Shipp reminds us, it's about investing in kids and giving them the love, time, and support they need to thrive. And that means every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.
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Read it....then read it again!
- By R. Eichelberger on 11-07-17
By: Josh Shipp
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Disconnected
- How to Reconnect Our Digitally Distracted Kids
- By: Thomas Kersting
- Narrated by: Jonathan Coleman
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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We see it everywhere: at the park, in restaurants, and inside our homes and cars - kids connected to handheld devices and disconnected from the world around them. According to the latest research, the average 13-year-old spends eight hours per day, seven days a week, glued to a screen. Yes, this is problematic, but for every problem there is a solution. In Disconnected, renowned psychotherapist and longtime school counselor Tom Kersting explores the device-dependent world our children live in and how it is impacting their mental and emotional well-being.
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A must read MORE THAN ONCE ‼️
- By james on 08-16-20
By: Thomas Kersting
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Parenting Beyond Pink & Blue
- How to Raise Your Kids Free of Gender Stereotypes
- By: Christia Spears Brown PhD
- Narrated by: Stina Nielsen
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
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In this practical guide, developmental psychologist (and mother of two) Christia Spears Brown uses science-based research to show how over-dependence on gender can limit kids, making it harder for them to develop into unique individuals. With a humorous, fresh, and accessible perspective, Parenting Beyond Pink & Blue addresses all the issues that contemporary parents should consider - from gender-segregated birthday parties and schools to sports, sexualization, and emotional intelligence.
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Not a parenting guide but a description of norms.
- By Anonymous User on 08-15-20
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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Glow Kids
- How Screen Addiction Is Hijacking Our Kids - and How to Break the Trance
- By: Nicholas Kardaras PhD
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In Glow Kids, Dr. Nicholas Kardaras will examine how technology - more specifically, age-inappropriate screen tech, with all of its glowing ubiquity - has profoundly affected the brains of an entire generation. Brain imaging research is showing that stimulating glowing screens are as dopaminergic (dopamine activating) to the brain’s pleasure center as sex. And a growing mountain of clinical research correlates screen tech with disorders like ADHD, addiction, anxiety, depression, increased aggression, and even psychosis.
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Fear Mongering - a modern day Mazes and Monsters
- By Veronica on 11-03-20
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Crazy-Stressed
- Saving Today's Overwhelmed Teens with Love, Laughter, and the Science of Resilience
- By: Dr. Michael J. Bradley
- Narrated by: Chris Kayser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Peel back the cheerful façade that parents present, and you'll find that many are worried about their teens. Mood swings, impulsiveness, poor judgment, and other problems peak in these years. Add stressors such as screen addiction, cyberbullying, increasing academic demands, and time-consuming athletic commitments...and it's no surprise that today's teenagers rank as the most anxious in 50 years.
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The title got me hooked
- By Robin Pinto on 03-31-18
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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Back to Normal
- Why Ordinary Childhood Behavior Is Mistaken for ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Autism Spectrum Disorder
- By: Enrico Gnaulati
- Narrated by: Matthew Kugler
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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A veteran clinical psychologist exposes why doctors, teachers, and parents incorrectly diagnose healthy American children with serious psychiatric conditions. In recent years there has been an alarming rise in the number of American children and youth assigned a mental health diagnosis. Current data from the Centers for Disease Control reveal a 41 percent increase in rates of ADHD diagnoses over the past decade and a forty-fold spike in bipolar disorder diagnoses. Similarly, diagnoses of autism spectrum disorder has increased by 78 percent since 2002.
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surprisingly useful and specific
- By SaturdayDad on 03-07-14
By: Enrico Gnaulati
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Bringing Up Girls
- Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women
- By: James C. Dobson
- Narrated by: James C. Dobson
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on extensive research, and handled with Dr. Dobson's trademark down-to-earth approach, Bringing Up Girls will equip parents like you to face the challenges of raising your daughters to become healthy, happy, and successful women who overcome challenges specific to girls and women today and who ultimately excel in life.
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Solid concepts, poor presentation
- By honuhunter on 12-06-18
By: James C. Dobson
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Girling Up
- How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Mayim Bialik, Jeopardy! host and star of The Big Bang Theory, puts her PhD to work as she talks to teens about the science of growing up and getting ahead. A must-have audiobook for all teenage girls. Growing up as a girl in today’s world is no easy task. Juggling family, friends, romantic relationships, social interests and school...sometimes it feels like you might need to be a superhero to get through it all! But really, all you need is little information.
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Useful for teenage girls
- By Anonymous User on 10-07-18
By: Mayim Bialik
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Autism in Heels
- The Untold Story of a Female Life on the Spectrum
- By: Jennifer Cook O'Toole
- Narrated by: Jennifer O'Toole
- Length: 12 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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This intimate memoir reveals the woman inside one of autism’s most prominent figures, Jennifer O'Toole. At the age of 35, Jennifer was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, and for the first time in her life, things made sense. Now, she exposes the constant struggle between carefully crafted persona and authentic existence, editing the autism script with wit, candor, passion, and power. Her journey is one of reverse-self-discovery not only as an Aspie but - more importantly - as a thoroughly modern woman.
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Somewhat relatable but not really.
- By M Bond on 02-26-23
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The Psychopath Inside
- A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain
- By: James Fallon
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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The memoir of a neuroscientist whose research led him to a bizarre personal discovery, James Fallon had spent an entire career studying how our brains affect our behavior when his research suddenly turned personal. While studying brain scans of several family members, he discovered that one perfectly matched a pattern he’d found in the brains of serial killers. This meant one of two things: Either his family’s scans had been mixed up with those of felons or someone in his family was a psychopath.
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Entertaining story with some quick neuroscience
- By smarmer on 09-21-14
By: James Fallon
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Oddly Normal
- One Family's Struggle to Help Their Teenage Son Come to Terms with His Sexuality
- By: John Schwartz
- Narrated by: John Schwartz, Joseph Schwartz
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, John Schwartz, a national correspondent for the New York Times, got the call that every parent hopes never to receive: His 13-year-old son, Joe, was in the hospital following a suicide attempt. Mustering the courage to come out to his classmates, Joe had delivered a tirade about homophobic and sexist attitudes that was greeted with unease and confusion by his fellow students. Hours later, he took an overdose of pills.
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The Effect of Parental Caring
- By Wiliam on 01-16-13
By: John Schwartz
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Some helpful tips, but not all good advice
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This really helped me
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In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
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Only at introduction and…
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Guy Stuff: Feelings
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Guy Stuff Feelings: Everything You Need to Know About Your Emotions is full of advice on dealing with the new feelings and emotions that are a part of puberty. Boys will find helpful tips from a pediatrician on identifying, managing, and expressing emotions—from anger to sadness to embarrassment to happiness—in positive ways.
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The Teenage Brain
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Drawing on her research, knowledge, and clinical experience, internationally respected neurologist--and mother of two boys--Frances E. Jensen, MD, offers a revolutionary look at the adolescent brain, providing remarkable insights that translate into practical advice both for parents and teenagers.
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Preachy and Uninformative
- By endlessemma on 05-16-16
By: Frances E. Jensen, and others
What listeners say about Decoding Boys
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- Sarah
- 01-16-24
How relevant the data and info was
I loved how many tips were given backed by data and evidence. Will absolutely be reading this again- and probably again. A great tool to have in your back pocket
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- Mia G.
- 08-13-21
GREAT guide for both parent and child
This book brought expertise, clarity, humor and personal experience to a subject that every boy experiences and few people understand. The author wastes no words, speaks at just the right speed, combines science with social issues, uses language that is both understandable and specific, and covers matters of real importance.
I would recommend it to every parent who has a son, as well as every boy who is starting or in the midst of puberty.
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- Sancs
- 10-26-23
Gracias! Es una gran guía
Me ha iluminado mucho! En un mundo donde todos se enfocan en las niñas y dejan los cambios en los niños por detrás cuando son igual de importantes, este libro me ha iluminado mucho. Es una gran guía, es un libro directo y conciso. Narrado además con una dicción perfecta. Lo recomiendo mucho.
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- USA Momma
- 02-12-20
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
I've been waiting for this! i devoured Lisa Damour's books on raising girls and navigating the transition to adulthood. There was nothing good for boys. Finally, now a book for parents of boys. Helping boys enter parenting through adolescence. Not just puberty, but the emotional and social changes too. Dr. Natterson also includes medical and child development advice. I'm here for it all!
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- Christina hutchison
- 12-10-21
Essential read
As a mom and teacher of adolescents, this book is a must read for anyone raising or interacting regularly with kids. It is real, unapologetic, necessary. People are finally writing about boys, and it provides fantastic insight.
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- Jennifer Guyer
- 03-10-20
Must read for anyone with young boys
This book is amazing. I am a mother with two boys, and I needed to understand puberty for boys. This is the first book I could find that really helped me understand the stages. It has helped me to be more patient with my boys and it has given me incredible insight into what they are going through. Thank you for writing this book. It is a must for any mom with young boys.
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- Melissa
- 04-22-20
Chapter on Smartphones & Porn--a must read!
In an era where parents are giving their boys Smartphones too young, this information is vital. But that's not all--it was just the topic that was most eye-opening. Don't let the 2nd Chapter, which seems to go on a tangent about girls derail you. if necessary, skip to the next chapter. The rest of the book is well worth it. This information is relevant, science-based, easy to digest. A must-read for anyone with a boy--at any age, especially 8 yrs old and up.
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- Jeff Bullock
- 01-15-22
wanted to give 5 but last chapter is so biased
All this stuff was good. first time I've heard a good book written by a women that mentions male body image. The chapter on porn is good the chapter on video games....
she openly admits there is no evidence for her claim and relies on "on my kid is angry after playing". she says "if you want evidence go watch boys play video games". YOU CAN DO THAT! Thousands of men and boys will attest this is bullshit and you yourself can watch people light heartedly play video games on stream? Kinda sad she did so well so honestly and something I could say "this woman understands men" then drops this clear bias about violence and video games at the end that no men would agree with.
Maybe it's her age, personal experience, lack of being someone who plays herself or just being a woman but that last chapter was pretty pathetic. Admitting there is no evidence for your claim, admitting there is actually a wall of evidence against it then claiming despite that "its true".... Why would you think that sounds good. Lady anyone who plays videos will tell you that's bullshit you used your son, a sample size of one, to make a giant claim. And the clear hypocrisy of talking about violent games but not even mentioning violent TV? It's clear you have a baseless dislike of video games which kills credibility?
Otherwise pretty good
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- Naomi
- 06-07-21
Boys
Amazing information…. I have altered and changed rings in our lives already from reading this book. My boys are 13 & 9 and I recommend this book to any boy mom!! I love that the author believes we should talk to our boys as we talk to our girls. I truly feel this is something we should have been doing for decades!!! I really hope this books helps boy moms turn that around and our boys get the attention thing why need in these troublesome areas they so silently suffer through.
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- Alka Gandhi
- 06-06-22
Best boy parent book ever!
I learned so much about why things are happening in addition to what and how. the author is an expert but real and realistic. There is some scary stuff in here but all the more reason to, as she states repeatedly, talk to our boys.
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