Brackish Waters Audiobook By Matt Boren cover art

Brackish Waters

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Brackish Waters

By: Matt Boren
Narrated by: Christina Applegate
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About this listen

Christina Applegate slays in this unfiltered comedy about a fed-up mom having an epic existential meltdown after the vacation from hell

When Kate wins an item at her children’s elementary school auction - an all-inclusive trip to SeaView at Sandpiper Bay - she thinks it’s just what her family needs after a decade of career disappointments and a marriage on its last legs. She has no reason to believe that said trip is a Fyre Festival-level fraud and, in fact, the catalyst to her unraveling. But it is. Oh, but it is.

Upon her return home, Kate, a failed writer, sets out to publish the world’s most anthemic one-star Yelp review of SeaView at Sandpiper Bay, detailing her week from hell on its brackish waters. And it will be her masterpiece.

At first, it feels good to let her white-knuckled fingers fly ragefully across the keys. But after a while, Kate wonders: Is her Yelp review like the vacation itself, an ill-advised Band-Aid on problems she doesn’t know how to fix?

©2020 Matt Boren (P)Audible Originals, LLC.
Literature & Fiction Funny Witty Feel-Good
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About the Creator

Writer/actor Matt Boren is a graduate of NYU’s Tisch School of The Arts. He got his start writing story arcs for All My Children then went on to sell his first pilot, Dirtbags, to Fox. That pilot was greenlit and thus began Boren’s career in television. He has gone on to sell shows to NBC, ABC, FX, E!, Disney Channel, and Nickelodeon. Boren has written on over 80 episodes of television including Melissa and Joey, See Dad Run, and Sofia the First. Boren has acted in many projects in both film and television including the lead role in the Sundance darling, Momma’s Man, Amazon Prime’s The Booth at the End, and for nine seasons as Stuart on How I Met Your Mother.
Boren’s first novel, Folded Notes from High School, was released in April 2018 (Razorbill). The audiobook version—starring Christina Applegate, Ramy Youssef, Taylor Spreitler, Ryan Newman, Selma Blair, Meredith Salenger, and Katie Lowes—was chosen as one of the most "Amazing Audiobooks" of the year by the Young Adult Library Services Association (YALSA). Boren wrote an Audible Original comedy, Tinaca Jones, starring Retta with appearances by Boren and Stephanie Lemelin.

About the Performer

Christina Applegate has endeared herself to audiences and received accolades for her strength and versatility in theater, film, and television.
Applegate currently stars in and is executive producer of Dead to Me, which premiered in May 2019 on Netflix, for which she has received Best Actress nominations from the Emmy Awards, Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild (SAG), Critics Choice, Television Critics Association, Gold Derby, and People’s Choice Awards, among others.
On the big screen, her credits include Bad Moms, Anchorman, The Sweetest Thing, Wonderland, View From the Top, and the cult classic Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead. Applegate has also found a niche in lending her voice to animated features. Her credits include three Alvin and the Chipmunks films, Cats & Dogs 2, The Book of Life, and Farce of the Penguins.
She first gained widespread attention as the sexy and sarcastic Kelly Bundy on the long-running series Married with Children. She then starred in her own NBC comedy series, Jesse. The highly rated show garnered her a People’s Choice Award and a Golden Globe nomination.
In 2004, Applegate earned an Emmy Award as a guest star on Friends and was nominated for another Emmy the following year. Her performance in the ABC series Samantha Who? was applauded by critics and fans and brought Applegate her third SAG Award nomination. She was also a producer for the show, which won a People’s Choice Award for Favorite New TV Comedy. Previous nods include nominations for two Emmys, two Golden Globes, two SAG Awards, a Satellite Award, and a Prism Award.
In 2005, Applegate made her Broadway debut in Sweet Charity. For this starring role, she was nominated for a Tony Award and a Drama Desk Award. Her other stage credits include John Cassavetes’s Los Angeles production of The Third Day with Gena Rowlands, The Axeman’s Jazz, Nobody Leaves Empty Handed, The Run-Through, and The Grass Harp.

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What listeners say about Brackish Waters

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I have had this very experience!!!

Hilarious and poignant. She says all the things I’m thinking!! And just the right length...it FELT like a vacation.

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3 people found this helpful

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super funny

I laughed so hard I cried. kept my attention and I couldn't stop listening. great narrative

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Enjoyable short story

I’m not going to tell you, “You just HAVE to listen to this book!” However, if you enjoy a semi-short story that is entirely relatable (personally, of course) and will have you entertained from beginning to end, then grab you a glass of wine and indulge... Hell, run a bubble bath while you’re at it!
The author is brazen and witty. I love the style she chose and the characters she created. I also can’t tell you enough how much I enjoy any performance by Christina Applegate both on and off screen. She plays the “cynical b*tch” so very well and her personality has all the layers you need to stay engaged.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Ok, glad I didn’t buy it

So tired of hearing the F word, one night stand sex and drug use. Story would have been just fine without it.

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Great Listen

Relatable story but Christina Applegate absolutely MAKES this a great listen! I hope she does some more narrating!

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Great story, awful character

Well written, beautifully performed. But the narrative character is so dreadful!!

I think we’re supposed to identify with her and sympathize with her plight as she spends her ENTIRE vacation bemoaning not just the sewer issues (understandable!) but the fact that she isn’t as successful as she thought she’d be and other people have more money and houses and things than she does. And then they’re NICE to her!! (Gasp!)

Her marriage needs work, but she and her husband and their 2 nice kids are healthy, the kids go to a decent school, they have a roof over their heads, food on the table, and their bills are covered.

The time I spent listening to her moan about not owning 2 houses is time I’ll never get back. At least I cleaned my one rented home while listening.

This woman needs to spend more time actually working - and maybe volunteering in her community - and less time complaining. How she’ll cope with an actual PROBLEM is beyond me.

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Very Entertaining!!!

I really enjoyed this book! Christina Applegate was the perfect choice to narrate! Well done!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Real

This is a story any grown woman can appreciate. How many of us have resentments and issues that we buried instead of dealt with and then explode all over out friends and loved ones when the pressure of life gets to be too much? This story will make you laugh, think and cry.

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So funny!

This was such a hysterical listen and, of course, Christina Applegate is just gold! She was the perfect voice for this character! It did get annoyingly self deprecating at some points, but when I realized it was written by a man, well it all made sense. 🤣

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this performance spoke to me

as a mom who cusses and has gone throb done craziness herself I found this story and performance refreshing. quite a fun read/ listen

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