Preview
  • Brad the Impaler

  • A LitRPG Adventure
  • By: Paul Sating
  • Narrated by: Will Collyer
  • Length: 18 hrs and 48 mins
  • 3.6 out of 5 stars (50 ratings)

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Brad the Impaler

By: Paul Sating
Narrated by: Will Collyer
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Publisher's summary

"A hilarious, balls-to-the-wall, heavy-metal stake fest!"—Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl

Engage full-on warrior mode and unleash your inner hero to become the ultimate survivor!

When he accidentally opens a medieval chest that looks like it just fell off the set of Game Of Thrones, Brad Wright is thrust into the wildest adventure of his life.

Welcome to Darkworld, a savage survival game where Brad and his sassy Chihuahua, Slash, think they’ve got it all figured out. Brad’s a strategy gamer, after all. Build a shelter, grow crops, forge weapons, and form alliances to escape this nightmare.

Do that and they’ll find their way out of the game in one piece.

But Darkworld’s creators have a twisted purpose. Game guides are less reliable than a rusty sword. An AI is hell-bent on breaking players. There are trolls, goblins, vampires, and worse, off-key bards. Even if Brad gets past them, he has the butchers to contend with. Sadistic people who paid to carve up players like Thanksgiving turkeys.

Brad can’t fail. Dying in the game doesn’t just mean GAME OVER. Fail, and it’s like being flushed down the metaverse’s toilet. Poof! Vanished like a glitchy NPC. What’s worse than being dead? Being erased like you never existed at all.

The rules are brutal. The stakes are high. Success is nearly impossible. Victory means more than loot and leveling up.

The ultimate game of survival will be won in a loincloth in this action-packed LitRPG Adventure perfect for fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl and This Trilogy is Broken! When you start a game with nothing but a loincloth, a dog who cusses like a sailor, and only your wits, there’s only one way to go.

©2024 Aethon Books (P)2024 Aethon Audio
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What listeners say about Brad the Impaler

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Not a fan

I was hoping this book would be a good Dungeon Crawler Carl spinoff. It’s not. I didn’t find most of the intended humor to be funny. It’s mostly juvenile delivered by a dog who acts like a 10 year old who likes dirty words and throwing tantrums to get his way. I was only able to get half way through the book before I couldn’t take any more of slash. Maybe it’s because I don’t own a dog.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

A Game Of Life or Death

I was entertained by this story. Brad Wright and his dog, Slash, were catapulted into a survival game where the stakes were life or death. While in the game, Brad found out that if he lost his life in the game, his whole existence would be wiped out, and it would be like he never existed. I liked that the format was based on a role-playing game complete with stats and level ups and downs. I enjoyed all the different fantastical creatures that populated the tale. I was amused by some of the dialogue and situations. I appreciated the twists and turns. I was intrigued by the complexities of the character of Brad. Will Collyer's narration was fantastic, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

It's alright

Not sure I'll continue the series. The story basis is interesting enough to potentially keep going, but there are issues that are hard to get past. The biggest is the super annoying dog. Yes, donut can go there too in DC, but the whine/howling just cuts right through me. Second, Brad is supposed to be an experienced gamer, yet he treats his own menu, skills and over all game play like a nub. Very simple concepts such as inventory baffle him. There are other aspects of the game world that are just not easily explained that I just can't discuss without spoilers.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

Interesting premise

This book is a really slow starter... yawn. And I mean it's really really slow, yawn again... I had my job cut out for me to actually finish the book. I'm not sure when I got to the point where I stopped hating on the Chihuahua but I know that I was over half way done and that's where I finally realized that I was hooked on the book. Usually the inclusion of an amazing animal or beast makes the book all the more endearing, but that was not in the case when it came to Slash the talking chihuahua. For me I just found him annoying and wanted to slap him around. Anyway as soon as I stopped hating on him like said the book really picked up. And I discovered myself admiring Slash as a character in the book... Brad finally found a companion and even though they weren't able to quest together, game rules (don't ask, buy the book) they've learned that they could trust each other.
So if you have the patience of Job go ahead and grab the book.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

it was humorous

what are these people giving 1 and 2 stars looking for? apparently, not humor.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Nice LitRPG

I don't like chihuahuas in general. Thanks to the author and to the performer of this book for making me really hate them more, but in a good way. I can't imagine a speaking chihuahua to be written or performed better than these two gentlemen did it.

The rest of the book was fun, too. Nice to see LitRPF being a survival-type game rather than just standard fantasy RPG.

Looking forward to book 2!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

not what I expected

The blurb sounds like it's describing a different book. It's pretty slow moving but okay for the book length. If most of the MCs moralizing was cut It would still be full book length and move much faster. Some chapters just seemed to exist as a fantasy reason for the MC to pontificate on his personal ethics and morals. No shortage of the virtual signaling that goes part and parcel wiith this type of MC. He is a pacifist "nice guy" in a pvp death game. The humor is poop fart sex self depreciating jokes and second hand embarrassment. A few times there are "white" jokes. Is it pandering to white liberals or non-whites? Is it funny? IDK Is book 2 where his black friend invites him to the BBQ? It did get some chuckles out of me and the humor certainly improved the book. Im not sure I would have made it all the way through if it wasnt funny. Will probably continue book 2 but will probably read the reviews first.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Don’t recommend

The MC is weak and naive and the dog isn’t much better. I don’t see why people like this book.with that said I only made it half way through before quitting.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

It was ... okay

No where near as good as Dungeon Crawler Carl. Collyer was an excellent narrator but even he could not improve the lack luster story. I will probably not pursue if this becomes a series.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
Listener received this title free

a great adventure

dark world, a deadly game, and for Brad and his mascot slash it's for keeps. slash a hilarious talking Chihuahua makes this story great.

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