
Brad the Impaler
A LitRPG Adventure
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Narrated by:
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Will Collyer
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By:
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Paul Sating
About this listen
"A hilarious, balls-to-the-wall, heavy-metal stake fest!"—Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl
Engage full-on warrior mode and unleash your inner hero to become the ultimate survivor!
When he accidentally opens a medieval chest that looks like it just fell off the set of Game Of Thrones, Brad Wright is thrust into the wildest adventure of his life.
Welcome to Darkworld, a savage survival game where Brad and his sassy Chihuahua, Slash, think they’ve got it all figured out. Brad’s a strategy gamer, after all. Build a shelter, grow crops, forge weapons, and form alliances to escape this nightmare.
Do that and they’ll find their way out of the game in one piece.
But Darkworld’s creators have a twisted purpose. Game guides are less reliable than a rusty sword. An AI is hell-bent on breaking players. There are trolls, goblins, vampires, and worse, off-key bards. Even if Brad gets past them, he has the butchers to contend with. Sadistic people who paid to carve up players like Thanksgiving turkeys.
Brad can’t fail. Dying in the game doesn’t just mean GAME OVER. Fail, and it’s like being flushed down the metaverse’s toilet. Poof! Vanished like a glitchy NPC. What’s worse than being dead? Being erased like you never existed at all.
The rules are brutal. The stakes are high. Success is nearly impossible. Victory means more than loot and leveling up.
The ultimate game of survival will be won in a loincloth in this action-packed LitRPG Adventure perfect for fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl and This Trilogy is Broken! When you start a game with nothing but a loincloth, a dog who cusses like a sailor, and only your wits, there’s only one way to go.
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- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
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Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive - and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet.
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I love Wil Wheaton but why not R. C. Bray?
- By L. Newman on 01-11-20
By: Andy Weir
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In a world where runes hold unimaginable power, mere mortal and gifted artisan Nate must harness arcane magic to navigate treacherous paths, reveal the hidden truths of his own past, and discover the workings of the illusive ‘System’. No big deal. Emboldened by only his penknife and a weirdly profound understanding of runic sorcery, Nate must uncover if the path he has been thrust upon may spare his earthly existence. After all, why only leave your mark on one world… when you might leave it on two?
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Good story with less than perfect narration and writing.
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A refeshing MC & a cathartic listen
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exciting and funny but misplaced narrator
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overall a fun read!
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He should have gone with the hero name “The Player”
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Worth a credit
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dislike this type of writing
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Loved it
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After a tragic accident ends Samson's life, he's given a second chance by Aki, the grim reaper in a tracksuit. Aki, a fellow fan of Samson's favorite light novel series, My Royal Academia, offers to help him, but only if he agrees to one condition: save the story from its hiatus.
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interesting story idea.
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My Werewolf System: A LitRPG Progression Fantasy
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Gary doesn’t have all that much going for him. He’s a teenage boy who lives in a Tier-3 town that’s barely hanging on, and his family’s just a rung above dirt poor. Which is why he’s taken the very dangerous step of becoming an errand boy for the savage Underdogs gang. He doesn’t like what they do, but if he tries to get out, he’s pretty sure he’ll get very dead.
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Heath Miller is one of my favorite Narrators
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The last thing Jonathan "Tilly" Tillman remembers is the thunderous crack of a flame-engulfed building collapsing as he tried to save a little girl . . . Until a system administrator offers him a new life on Nephesh, the realm where ideals, myths, and legends clash endlessly for supremacy in the hearts of men. Carrying all the trauma and regrets of his decades-long career as a first responder, Tilly must start from scratch—without a tutorial—in a system-governed universe. To make matters worse, on day one he finds himself facing off against a cosmic force bent on corrupting the entire realm.
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Entertaining and enthralling
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When the apocalypse comes, a mysterious entity grants Theo Spencer the gift of reincarnation. The gift of a quiet life as an alchemist. He awakens in a small town in the southern reaches of a small kingdom in a non-human body. Broken Tusk doesn't seem like much, but his legendary alchemy skills will soon turn their fortune.
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Just the Refresh I Needed
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Rift Magus Reborn
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I was the Rift Magus—master of space and time, protector of worlds. For decades, I defended my realm with unmatched power. But when an unspeakable creature threatened everything I held dear, I was forced to create a rift to nowhere—a trap designed to seal it away for all time. It worked, but the creature was not without power itself.
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Boring
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Fight, survive, adapt, and rely only on yourself. That is Derek’s creed and what's got him through the System Integration on Earth. Everything changed when the System came. Cute bunnies and beautiful butterflies became savage killing machines. Then the Invaders arrived with a single goal: to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. War has raged ever since. None of this mattered much to Derek, aside from making living a little more perilous.
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Reviews lie hard
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The Calamitous Bob
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Ah, Nyil, with its magic, its monsters, and its petty gods. A divine spat leaves French medic Viv stranded in the middle of an arcane disaster zone crawling with undead horrors. Thankfully, there are strange allies to be found, not least the mysterious interface that helps humans survive in this merciless world. Viv will have to progress fast to survive this calamity and find civilisation. She will also need a bit of luck. Unless, of course, she becomes the calamity herself. After all, luck is such a fickle thing.
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Awesome narration to fit an awesome series
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The Path of Ascension
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Matt plans to delve the rifts responsible for the monsters that destroyed his city and murdered his parents. But his dreams are crushed when his Tier 1 Talent is rated as detrimental and no guild or group will take him. Working at a nearby inn, he meets a mysterious and powerful couple. They give him a chance to join the Path of Ascension, an empire-wide race to ascend the Tiers and become living legends. With their recommendation and a stolen Skill, Matt begins his journey to the peak of power. Maybe then, he can get vengeance he seeks.
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New Pet Peeve in an otherwise good story & listen
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By: C. Mantis
What listeners say about Brad the Impaler
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Salty Static
- 01-17-24
Not a fan
I was hoping this book would be a good Dungeon Crawler Carl spinoff. It’s not. I didn’t find most of the intended humor to be funny. It’s mostly juvenile delivered by a dog who acts like a 10 year old who likes dirty words and throwing tantrums to get his way. I was only able to get half way through the book before I couldn’t take any more of slash. Maybe it’s because I don’t own a dog.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Laura
- 01-27-24
A Game Of Life or Death
I was entertained by this story. Brad Wright and his dog, Slash, were catapulted into a survival game where the stakes were life or death. While in the game, Brad found out that if he lost his life in the game, his whole existence would be wiped out, and it would be like he never existed. I liked that the format was based on a role-playing game complete with stats and level ups and downs. I enjoyed all the different fantastical creatures that populated the tale. I was amused by some of the dialogue and situations. I appreciated the twists and turns. I was intrigued by the complexities of the character of Brad. Will Collyer's narration was fantastic, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.
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- Jeremy K.
- 01-24-24
It's alright
Not sure I'll continue the series. The story basis is interesting enough to potentially keep going, but there are issues that are hard to get past. The biggest is the super annoying dog. Yes, donut can go there too in DC, but the whine/howling just cuts right through me. Second, Brad is supposed to be an experienced gamer, yet he treats his own menu, skills and over all game play like a nub. Very simple concepts such as inventory baffle him. There are other aspects of the game world that are just not easily explained that I just can't discuss without spoilers.
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- Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore
- 01-20-24
Interesting premise
This book is a really slow starter... yawn. And I mean it's really really slow, yawn again... I had my job cut out for me to actually finish the book. I'm not sure when I got to the point where I stopped hating on the Chihuahua but I know that I was over half way done and that's where I finally realized that I was hooked on the book. Usually the inclusion of an amazing animal or beast makes the book all the more endearing, but that was not in the case when it came to Slash the talking chihuahua. For me I just found him annoying and wanted to slap him around. Anyway as soon as I stopped hating on him like said the book really picked up. And I discovered myself admiring Slash as a character in the book... Brad finally found a companion and even though they weren't able to quest together, game rules (don't ask, buy the book) they've learned that they could trust each other.
So if you have the patience of Job go ahead and grab the book.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-05-24
it was humorous
what are these people giving 1 and 2 stars looking for? apparently, not humor.
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- August
- 04-08-24
Nice LitRPG
I don't like chihuahuas in general. Thanks to the author and to the performer of this book for making me really hate them more, but in a good way. I can't imagine a speaking chihuahua to be written or performed better than these two gentlemen did it.
The rest of the book was fun, too. Nice to see LitRPF being a survival-type game rather than just standard fantasy RPG.
Looking forward to book 2!
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- Johnathan Falk
- 02-04-25
The dog’s voice drives me to want to stab my eardrums
The narrators voice for the dog when it whines almost made me quit listening it’s so bad. I hope they fix that for the second book. Otherwise the story isn’t bad.
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- david
- 01-17-24
Don’t recommend
The MC is weak and naive and the dog isn’t much better. I don’t see why people like this book.with that said I only made it half way through before quitting.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Randy
- 01-20-24
It was ... okay
No where near as good as Dungeon Crawler Carl. Collyer was an excellent narrator but even he could not improve the lack luster story. I will probably not pursue if this becomes a series.
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- Cthaeh
- 01-20-24
not what I expected
The blurb sounds like it's describing a different book. It's pretty slow moving but okay for the book length. If most of the MCs moralizing was cut It would still be full book length and move much faster. Some chapters just seemed to exist as a fantasy reason for the MC to pontificate on his personal ethics and morals. No shortage of the virtual signaling that goes part and parcel wiith this type of MC. He is a pacifist "nice guy" in a pvp death game. The humor is poop fart sex self depreciating jokes and second hand embarrassment. A few times there are "white" jokes. Is it pandering to white liberals or non-whites? Is it funny? IDK Is book 2 where his black friend invites him to the BBQ? It did get some chuckles out of me and the humor certainly improved the book. Im not sure I would have made it all the way through if it wasnt funny. Will probably continue book 2 but will probably read the reviews first.
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