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Brad the Impaler
A LitRPG Adventure
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Narrated by:
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Will Collyer
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By:
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Paul Sating
About this listen
"A hilarious, balls-to-the-wall, heavy-metal stake fest!"—Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl
Engage full-on warrior mode and unleash your inner hero to become the ultimate survivor!
When he accidentally opens a medieval chest that looks like it just fell off the set of Game Of Thrones, Brad Wright is thrust into the wildest adventure of his life.
Welcome to Darkworld, a savage survival game where Brad and his sassy Chihuahua, Slash, think they’ve got it all figured out. Brad’s a strategy gamer, after all. Build a shelter, grow crops, forge weapons, and form alliances to escape this nightmare.
Do that and they’ll find their way out of the game in one piece.
But Darkworld’s creators have a twisted purpose. Game guides are less reliable than a rusty sword. An AI is hell-bent on breaking players. There are trolls, goblins, vampires, and worse, off-key bards. Even if Brad gets past them, he has the butchers to contend with. Sadistic people who paid to carve up players like Thanksgiving turkeys.
Brad can’t fail. Dying in the game doesn’t just mean GAME OVER. Fail, and it’s like being flushed down the metaverse’s toilet. Poof! Vanished like a glitchy NPC. What’s worse than being dead? Being erased like you never existed at all.
The rules are brutal. The stakes are high. Success is nearly impossible. Victory means more than loot and leveling up.
The ultimate game of survival will be won in a loincloth in this action-packed LitRPG Adventure perfect for fans of Dungeon Crawler Carl and This Trilogy is Broken! When you start a game with nothing but a loincloth, a dog who cusses like a sailor, and only your wits, there’s only one way to go.
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It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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A Revelation!
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By: George Orwell, and others
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Artemis
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
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He should have gone with the hero name “The Player”
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Gary doesn’t have all that much going for him. He’s a teenage boy who lives in a Tier-3 town that’s barely hanging on, and his family’s just a rung above dirt poor. Which is why he’s taken the very dangerous step of becoming an errand boy for the savage Underdogs gang. He doesn’t like what they do, but if he tries to get out, he’s pretty sure he’ll get very dead.
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Heath Miller is one of my favorite Narrators
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Enjoyable Story over all
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Fight, survive, adapt, and rely only on yourself. That is Derek’s creed and what's got him through the System Integration on Earth. Everything changed when the System came. Cute bunnies and beautiful butterflies became savage killing machines. Then the Invaders arrived with a single goal: to obtain ownership of this new habitable planet. War has raged ever since. None of this mattered much to Derek, aside from making living a little more perilous.
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Reviews lie hard
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When the apocalypse comes, a mysterious entity grants Theo Spencer the gift of reincarnation. The gift of a quiet life as an alchemist. He awakens in a small town in the southern reaches of a small kingdom in a non-human body. Broken Tusk doesn't seem like much, but his legendary alchemy skills will soon turn their fortune.
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The best story I’ve heard out of 300 of my stories
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After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.
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In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.
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What listeners say about Brad the Impaler
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Salty Static
- 01-17-24
Not a fan
I was hoping this book would be a good Dungeon Crawler Carl spinoff. It’s not. I didn’t find most of the intended humor to be funny. It’s mostly juvenile delivered by a dog who acts like a 10 year old who likes dirty words and throwing tantrums to get his way. I was only able to get half way through the book before I couldn’t take any more of slash. Maybe it’s because I don’t own a dog.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Laura
- 01-27-24
A Game Of Life or Death
I was entertained by this story. Brad Wright and his dog, Slash, were catapulted into a survival game where the stakes were life or death. While in the game, Brad found out that if he lost his life in the game, his whole existence would be wiped out, and it would be like he never existed. I liked that the format was based on a role-playing game complete with stats and level ups and downs. I enjoyed all the different fantastical creatures that populated the tale. I was amused by some of the dialogue and situations. I appreciated the twists and turns. I was intrigued by the complexities of the character of Brad. Will Collyer's narration was fantastic, and his performance added to the story's entertainment. I was given a free copy of the audiobook, and I have voluntarily posted this review.
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- Jeremy K.
- 01-24-24
It's alright
Not sure I'll continue the series. The story basis is interesting enough to potentially keep going, but there are issues that are hard to get past. The biggest is the super annoying dog. Yes, donut can go there too in DC, but the whine/howling just cuts right through me. Second, Brad is supposed to be an experienced gamer, yet he treats his own menu, skills and over all game play like a nub. Very simple concepts such as inventory baffle him. There are other aspects of the game world that are just not easily explained that I just can't discuss without spoilers.
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- joseph hill
- 01-24-24
a great adventure
dark world, a deadly game, and for Brad and his mascot slash it's for keeps. slash a hilarious talking Chihuahua makes this story great.
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- Farrell Nixdorf
- 01-20-24
An epic first book of this style for the renowned story teller Paul Sating - 2 reviews in 1!
I could not put this down and even took of a day from work to finish first the ebook and then this Audible version. I can not express what an extremely entertaining powerful punch that this book delivers with the building of Brad and to top it off the extremely clever and fun sidekick wee-man Slash the chiuauwa! I promise you that when you start the book you will not want to put it down to eat, sleep or go to work. I was an arc reader of this book and created this review of my own accord.
I loved this new series so much I am posting a second review for when I listened to the audible version. Reading the book was very enjoyable with great new characters and story lines. I 110% recommend reading the book first and then follow up with the great audible version. I found myself taking the long way to and from work so that I could have more time listening to the book. Keep up the great work Sir Sating!
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- Lonnie-The GreatNorthernTroll-Moore
- 01-20-24
Interesting premise
This book is a really slow starter... yawn. And I mean it's really really slow, yawn again... I had my job cut out for me to actually finish the book. I'm not sure when I got to the point where I stopped hating on the Chihuahua but I know that I was over half way done and that's where I finally realized that I was hooked on the book. Usually the inclusion of an amazing animal or beast makes the book all the more endearing, but that was not in the case when it came to Slash the talking chihuahua. For me I just found him annoying and wanted to slap him around. Anyway as soon as I stopped hating on him like said the book really picked up. And I discovered myself admiring Slash as a character in the book... Brad finally found a companion and even though they weren't able to quest together, game rules (don't ask, buy the book) they've learned that they could trust each other.
So if you have the patience of Job go ahead and grab the book.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-05-24
it was humorous
what are these people giving 1 and 2 stars looking for? apparently, not humor.
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- August
- 04-08-24
Nice LitRPG
I don't like chihuahuas in general. Thanks to the author and to the performer of this book for making me really hate them more, but in a good way. I can't imagine a speaking chihuahua to be written or performed better than these two gentlemen did it.
The rest of the book was fun, too. Nice to see LitRPF being a survival-type game rather than just standard fantasy RPG.
Looking forward to book 2!
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- Johnathan Falk
- 02-04-25
The dog’s voice drives me to want to stab my eardrums
The narrators voice for the dog when it whines almost made me quit listening it’s so bad. I hope they fix that for the second book. Otherwise the story isn’t bad.
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- david
- 01-17-24
Don’t recommend
The MC is weak and naive and the dog isn’t much better. I don’t see why people like this book.with that said I only made it half way through before quitting.
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3 people found this helpful