
Dating & Dismemberment
Mating and Monsters, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Eva Kaminsky
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By:
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A.L. Brody
About this listen
A ROMANTIC COMEDY FULL OF LOVE, LAUGHTER, AND LIMBS.
Darla Drake, Duchess of Death, is a legendary monster who has haunted the woods around Camp Clear Creek for years. Until an existential crisis forces her to take a sabbatical from wreaking havoc on pimply teens while she figures out what she really wants from the rest of her (possibly infinite) life. But what does a monster do when her malevolent days are over? For Darla, it’s spending time with the decapitated—yet still overbearing—head of her mother, reading romance novels she steals from campers, and struggling with one monstrous case of melancholy. Until Jarko Murkvale arrives in Clear Creek and turns Darla’s life upside down.
Jarko is conceited, arrogant, infuriating, and—unfortunately for Darla—kind of hot. And with the Duchess of Death on the shelf, Jarko has staked his claim on Camp Clear Creek. But Darla refuses to go down without a fight, and so in order to reclaim her territory she challenges Jarko to a series of hunts to see who the most fearsome monster really is.
The more mayhem they cause, the more Darla begins to realize there’s more to this brash monster than she believed … and that Jarko may just be the antidote to her ennui.
But there’s a reason Jarko came to Clear Creek, and in order to fill her nine-chambered heart, Darla will have to unravel the mystery of who this closed-off monster really is. And if they can manage to not literally tear each other limb from limb, Darla and Jarko just might find that couples who slay together, stay together.
NEW BONUS CHAPTER!
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- I Ran Away to Evil, Book 1
- By: Mystic Neptune
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain, Laura Horowitz
- Length: 17 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Henrietta Doryn has never enjoyed fighting. She'd rather be in the kitchen baking cookies. But it's her duty as Warrior Princess to face off against the forces of evil. As such, she's unceremoniously shooed from her kingdom to go eliminate the all-powerful Dark Lord next door. Keith Monfort has never enjoyed ruling with an iron fist. He'd prefer to be in his workroom tinkering with practical magic. But it's his duty to lead the Dark Enchanted Forest and the forces of evil. So when Henrietta shows up at his door, he's only too happy to invite her in for tea to talk it out instead.
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A Lovely Cozy with Depth
- By Bethany F on 04-28-24
By: Mystic Neptune
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How to Train Your Human Omega
- Coveted Bonds, Book 1
- By: Arden Fox
- Narrated by: Nick J. Russo, Gabriel Michael
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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I don't ask for much from life; I get paid, and then I get laid. And piloting spaceships across the galaxy keeps my solo lifestyle well-funded. I don't need a relationship or any of the baggage that comes with it. I like my men like I like my coffee; to go. That is, until the most boring job in the universe goes horribly wrong and I'm snatched from my ship by a seven-foot alien. He's huge, he's purple, and he's ripped as hell. I'm sure I'm a dead man. Only it turns out he doesn't want to kill me. What he wants is far worse.
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Intense emotional story
- By Nicholas Pesqueda on 01-17-25
By: Arden Fox
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Till Death
- The Never Sky Series
- By: Miranda Lyn
- Narrated by: Jacci Prior, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Long ago, Requiem was plagued by war and abandoned by the gods but Death saved the suffering people, giving each soul a hundred years of immortality. With that grace, he also sent two Maidens. One of Life, for healing and comfort, and one of Death, the only person in the world with the ability to kill. Generations later, the Life Maiden is missing and Princess Deyanira is nothing more than a trained weapon. A hunter. A murderer wrenched into Death's dark court to have the name of her next victim seared onto her palm.
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Beautiful narration & story!
- By Anonymous User on 06-02-24
By: Miranda Lyn
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Sinners Retreat
- By: Lauren Biel
- Narrated by: Angelina Rocca, Shane East, Alexis Paige, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Love isn't on my mind when I sign up for the yearly Sinners Retreat, but a chance meeting at the airport changes everything. We click right away, and my bond with Kindra only deepens when we discover our mutual love for the most macabre hobbies. But then she brings up her brother's unsolved murder and her real reason for being here—to find his killer. That's when my past finally catches up with me, and I'm faced with an impossible choice.
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I’m obsessed with this book!
- By bblack on 05-10-25
By: Lauren Biel
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My Funny Demon Valentine
- Hell Bent, Book 1
- By: Aurora Ascher
- Narrated by: Kirsten Leigh
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Asmodeus, Prince of Hell, just wants to make music. Jazz, specifically. Unfortunately, he’s a demon. And he’s supposed to be evil. Clearly, for Ash, a career as a musician isn’t exactly an option. Plus, he’s cursed. Sick of playing by the rules, Ash and his three brothers escape Hell in search of freedom on Earth. But it’s harder than they thought to keep their enemies off their tail. The four rogues quickly become the Underworld’s Most Wanted, and if they’re caught, the consequences will be dire. Yet everything changes for Ash when he meets a beautiful violinist who can see through his curse.
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Author wants to convey demonic sexy heat.
- By lwhipple on 03-13-25
By: Aurora Ascher
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The Honey Witch
- By: Sydney J. Shields
- Narrated by: Mia Hutchinson Shaw
- Length: 13 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Twenty-one-year-old Marigold Claude has always preferred the company of the spirits of the meadow to any of the suitors who’ve tried to woo her. So when her grandmother whisks her away to the family cottage on the tiny Isle of Innisfree with an offer to train her as the next Honey Witch, she accepts immediately. But her newfound magic and independence come with a price: No one can fall in love with the Honey Witch. When Lottie Burke, a notoriously grumpy skeptic who doesn’t believe in magic, shows up on her doorstep, Marigold can’t resist the challenge to prove to her that magic is real.
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Cutesy Romantasy
- By Julia sutton on 08-06-24
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Bloodguard
- BloodGuard, Book 1
- By: Cecy Robson
- Narrated by: Taylor Meskimen, Lucas Webley
- Length: 16 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Leith of Grey thought coming to this new land and volunteering to fight in the gladiator arena—vicious, bloodthirsty tournaments where only the strongest survive—would earn him enough gold to save his dying sister. He thought there was nothing left to lose. He was wrong—and they took everything. His hope. His freedom. His very humanity. All Leith has left is his battle-scarred body, fueled by rage and hardened from years of fighting for the right to live another day. Then Leith meets Maeve, an elven royal who is everything he despises.
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Predictable
- By Athena on 04-29-25
By: Cecy Robson
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Iron & Embers
- The Ashes of Thezmarr, Book 1
- By: Helen Scheuerer
- Narrated by: Matt Haynes, Emilia Bauer
- Length: 17 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Wren Embervale, alchemist-turned-assassin, finds solace in only one thing: seeking vengeance for the death of her friends. The wars of the past may be over, but her thirst for revenge is far from quenched. For years, she has been content with her poisons and potions for company, but when an unknown form of alchemy is used to attack a king of the midrealms, Wren’s time in the shadows comes to an end. She’s offered a place at the ancient alchemy academy of Drevenor to find a cure to the dark magic threatening the kingdoms. To win her spot, she must conquer the Gauntlet.
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Such a thin line between love and hate
- By Hadiyah on 02-12-25
By: Helen Scheuerer
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I Got Abducted by Aliens and Now I'm Trapped in a Rom-Com
- By: Kimberly Lemming
- Narrated by: Hazel Addison
- Length: 9 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Dorothy Valentine is close to getting her PhD in wildlife biology when she’s attacked by a lion. On the bright side, she’s saved! On the not-so-bright side, it’s because they’re abducted by aliens. In her scramble to escape, Dory and the lion commandeer an escape pod and crash-land on an alien planet that has...dinosaurs? Dory and her new lion bestie, Toto, are saved in the nick of time by a mysterious and sexy alien, Sol. On their new adventure, they team up with the equally hot, equally dangerous Lok, who may or may not be a war criminal.
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Cute book
- By Kim on 02-26-25
By: Kimberly Lemming
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God of Malice
- Legacy, Book 1
- By: Rina Kent
- Narrated by: Sebastian York, Josie Minor, Aaron Shedlock, and others
- Length: 15 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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I caught the attention of a monster. I didn’t ask for it. Didn’t even see it coming. But the moment I do, it’s too late. Killian Carson is a predator wrapped in sophisticated charm. He’s cold-blooded, manipulative, and savage. The worst part is that no one sees his devil side. I do. And that will cost me everything. I run, but the thing about monsters? They always chase.
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TEEN - DEFINITELY NOT FOR ME
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 07-15-22
By: Rina Kent
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My Dark Romeo
- Dark Prince Road, Book 1
- By: L.J. Shen, Parker S. Huntington
- Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Stella Hunter
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It was supposed to be a harmless kiss at a lavish debutante ball. A clandestine moment with a handsome stranger. But unlike his namesake, my Romeo isn’t driven by love. He’s fueled by revenge. To him, I’m a chess piece. Leverage. His rival’s betrothed. To me, he is a man deserving of poison. A dark prince I refuse to marry. He thinks I’ll accept my fate. Well, I plan to rewrite it. And in my story, Juliet doesn’t die. But Romeo? He perishes.
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〰️ YOU’RE ALL IN FOR A WONDERFUL WONDERFUL RIDE 〰️
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 03-16-23
By: L.J. Shen, and others
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Bride
- By: Ali Hazelwood
- Narrated by: Thérèse Plummer, Will Damron
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Misery Lark, the only daughter of the most powerful Vampyre councilman of the Southwest, is an outcast—again. Her days of living in anonymity among the Humans are over: she has been called upon to uphold a historic peacekeeping alliance between the Vampyres and their mortal enemies, the Weres, and she sees little choice but to surrender herself in the exchange—again...
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I loved this!
- By Margaret Samora on 02-14-24
By: Ali Hazelwood
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Dreadful
- By: Caitlin Rozakis
- Narrated by: Keval Shah
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Gav isn't really sure how he ended up with a castle full of goblins, or why he has a princess locked in a cell. All he can do is play along with his own evil plan in hopes of getting his memories back before he gets himself killed. But as he realizes that nothing—from the incredibly tasteless cloak adorned with flames to the aforementioned princess—is quite what it seems, Gav must face up to all the things the Dread Lord Gavrax has done. And he'll have to answer the hardest question of all—who does he want to be?
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The goblins!
- By Cady Wieck on 06-25-24
By: Caitlin Rozakis
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Blood of My Monster
- By: Rina Kent
- Narrated by: Sebastian York, Brooke Daniels
- Length: 9 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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I’m out for revenge. He’s out to rule the world. Kirill and I are as different as day and night. We shouldn’t have been in the same frame or universe. But we meet under the strangest circumstances. He’s my superior in the military and the man who’ll introduce me to carnage.
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🔺🔻 NOW THAT’S HOW TO WRITE AN EPIC TRILOGY 🔻🔺
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 04-10-23
By: Rina Kent
What listeners say about Dating & Dismemberment
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Joella Berkner
- 11-30-24
Relationships matter
Whether it’s about family, dating, or friendship the relationships are important. The author shows you what each mean to the character. The dates are some of the best parts of the book, I’d describe my favorite but it would definitely be a spoiler. I enjoyed the explanation of why the monsters change who they hunt and why. If you think you’d enjoy a splash of horror mixed in with your romance I highly recommend this book.
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- Sota
- 11-09-24
better than butcher and blackbird
better than butcher and blackbird that's for sure, minus the smut but so much better we'll thought out and hella funny 😁
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- APerson
- 10-25-24
What a cute Monster Love Story
First off, I love A.L. Brody AKA Jason Pinter's writing. I adored The Reaper's Son and I knew I would love this too. This is a cozy monster love story, funny, filled with banter and fun. If you love monsters and rom coms, this is for you. Darla is your FMC, typical monster with typical monster problems (who knew, monsters are just like us). Enter Jarko, a monster encroaching her territory that will turn her world upside down and inside out. I enjoyed the banter between these two, I loved him pushing her to explore more and get out of the rut she was in. All around good book and remember "couples that slay together, stay together."
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-20-24
Just what I needed!
Hilarious monster rom com, that's a sentence I never thought I'd write. Fell in love with these characters and can't wait for more of their story and adventures. This book hits that spot from all the old campy horror flicks of my childhood, combined with sitcom like situations. February can't come fast enough. So glad I ran across this author on Tik Tok. Best late night purchase I've made in a long time.
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- AAdaljiza S.
- 12-13-24
Hilarious!
This book was cute and fun! Enjoyed it thoroughly. I appreciated the mother-daughter relationship very much.
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- MTauber
- 03-21-25
Such a fun monster romance!
Dating and Dismemberment is a delightfully quirky monster romance that blends humor and heart. With a lovable protagonist who stumbles into love in the most unexpected way, this book is as cozy as it is funny. The characters are wonderfully quirky, and the story keeps you smiling with its charming twists. If you’re looking for a unique, feel-good romance with a touch of the supernatural, this one’s perfect!
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- Ofelia901
- 02-28-25
No hero’s, only monsters!
Who knew monsters plus romcom would give such a sweet, funny, cozy read?! Darla Drake, Duchess of Death, haunts the woods at Camp Clear Creek with her scourge until she goes on a sabbatical to deal with her identity crisis. In drifts Jarko Murkvale, attempting to stake a claim to her territory. Go pick up this read! Love it! Looking forward to reading book two!!!
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