Delete That
(And Other Failed Attempts to Look Good Online)
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Narrated by:
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John Crist
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By:
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John Crist
About this listen
A candid and irreverent look at the ridiculous ways we all try to make ourselves look better online—from a popular standup and internet comedian whose videos have been viewed over one billion times.
“John is one of my top-three all-time favorite comedians, next to me and Foxworthy. Buy this book—you’ll be glad you did.”—Larry the Cable Guy
John Crist wasn’t always recognizable as “the guy from that hilarious video in the grocery store.” Growing up part of a homeschool family of ten in rural Georgia with Mennonite grandparents and a high-school job at Chick-fil-A, he was an unlikely candidate for internet fame. Despite all that, or perhaps because of it, Crist passionately pursued his dream of stand-up comedy.
In his first book, Crist offers heartfelt, laugh-out-loud observations on the absurd ways we all try to make ourselves look better online: like how we all post filtered pictures of our super healthy kale salads but somehow neglect to post about our 1 A.M. Uber Eats Big Mac. Or how quick we all are to post our “I Voted” sticker pictures but fail to post about the ways we vote with our dollars every day in ways that don’t align with our loudly and publicly espoused values.
With self-deprecating wit, Crist chronicles his meteoric rise as an online and stand-up comedian, but he doesn’t gloss over the ways his own life choices did not align with his online image—a gap between perception and reality that eventually led to a stint in rehab.
In Delete That, Crist takes responsibility for his actions, offers some reflections on how to do better, and encourages us all to stop capitulating to the fear of “But what will they think?!” Instead, this book offers a bold invitation to stop curating life and start living it . . . one Nickelback concert at a time.
©2022 Random House Group (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“If this book is like everything else John does, it’ll be a bestseller, which irritates me because he’s good-looking, funny, and clever. It’s like he went to the comic buffet and took everything. ‘Hey, John, take one item and move on!’ He’s one of my top-three all-time favorite comedians, next to me and Foxworthy. Buy this book—you’ll be glad you did. Then check out my website for all my tour dates.”—Larry the Cable Guy
“One of the more important interviews I’ve conducted was with John Crist. He’s absolutely hilarious, one of the funniest people I’ve ever met!”—Marty Smith, ESPN host and reporter
“What I saw in you is authenticity and that fascinated me.”—Bert Kreischer
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Story
At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Lose Well
- By: Chris Gethard
- Narrated by: Chris Gethard
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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WHAT A LOSER
- By Amazon Customer on 01-26-19
By: Chris Gethard
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Troublemaker
- Surviving Hollywood and Scientology
- By: Leah Remini
- Narrated by: Leah Remini
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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The outspoken actress, talk show host, and reality television star offers up a no-holds-barred memoir, including an eye-opening insider account of her tumultuous and heart-wrenching 30-year-plus association with the Church of Scientology.
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This book is fascinating and funny! Fantastic!
- By Kim on 11-04-15
By: Leah Remini
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Not Afraid of Life
- My Journey So Far
- By: Bristol Palin, Nancy French
- Narrated by: Bristol Palin
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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In this personal memoir, Bristol Palin opens up for the first time ever. She takes listeners behind the scenes, from growing up in Alaska to coming of age amid the media and political frenzy surrounding her mother's political rise; from becoming a single mother while still a teenager to coping as her relationship with the baby's father crumbled publicly. Through all of these ups and downs, Bristol learned how to face her challenges head-on, with courage and grace.
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Forgiveness
- By Dennis on 01-16-16
By: Bristol Palin, and others
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The Wrong End of the Table
- A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit In
- By: Ayser Salman, Reza Aslan - foreword
- Narrated by: Ayser Salman, Assaf Cohen
- Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
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Not what I was looking for
- By Amazon Customer on 09-01-22
By: Ayser Salman, and others
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Hey Mom
- By: Louie Anderson
- Narrated by: Louie Anderson
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Louie Anderson has been channeling his beloved mom in his iconic stand-up comedy for decades - but she passed away before getting to see him reach new heights with his breakout role. Hey Mom is Louie's way of catching Ora Zella Anderson up on everything that has been going on in his life, including his continued struggles with food and family, but also how so much has changed for the better. He also has plenty of laugh-out-loud stories about his incredibly resilient mother and his 10 siblings, as well as observations on the absurdities of life.
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I love Louie even more now
- By Candace on 05-02-18
By: Louie Anderson
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
- By: Jonathan Scott, Drew Scott
- Narrated by: Drew Scott, Jonathan Scott
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
- By Sharlotte on 03-06-18
By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
- Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
- By: Courtney Robertson, Deborah Baer
- Narrated by: Courtney Robertson
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
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I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants?
- By: Sarah Colonna
- Narrated by: Sarah Colonna
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah's signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart - not to mention your pants.
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clearance shelf material
- By lisa martinez on 04-28-15
By: Sarah Colonna
What listeners say about Delete That
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Stacey R Fadden
- 10-19-22
A must read for real people!!
This was a great book to listen to and was hard to put on pause. A real person saying what most of us think. I think most people can relate to portions of the book in some way. I applaud his honesty and vulnerability. I will continue to be a fan. Thank you for sharing your God given gifts!
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- Stacey Wilson
- 10-21-22
Enlightening
I mean, not necessarily the word you’d think you’d find to describe a book by a comedian but John really shared his story openly and as someone who has seen his shows a few times and follows him on social media, I learned a lot about him and about the power of performance. I think anyone who has worked with those battling any type of addiction can find Hope, anyone in the battle with addiction can find themselves and see that there is more to life.
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- KJA
- 11-08-22
Really enjoyed
I've loved John Crist's comedy for a long time and it was so interesting to learn more about his life and ups and downs. Big bonus to have him narrating it.
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- Alex Gunter
- 11-21-22
Love John Crist
If you are a John Crist fan or even if you have never heard of him, I highly recommend this book. It was awesome hearing his background story and where he came from. I love how he explained his struggle through his journey because we can all relate to the highs and lows of life. I can relate so much to your story because I grew up “living” at church. My parents weren’t quite as strict but we were pretty sheltered nonetheless …lol!!! Keep making us smile Crist, I know so many people that love your comedy and style, myself included!
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- kbcowe
- 10-25-22
Great listen/read!!
I unexpectedly learned about this book and John!! I’m so thankful I did!! I love that he has clean comedy, it’s exactly what we need in this world! So thank you John for writing this book and for what you do!!!
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- R. Jones
- 11-30-22
Perfect
Love this book! Love the truth! Love the perspective! Funny & great & worth a listen! Thanks!
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-24-23
John Crist is relatable and funny
Great book, well worth your time. John Crist shares his story, bringing laughter and maybe a couple tears too.
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- Susan Johansson
- 01-07-23
Seeing the real John helped me see myself
Impressed by the vulnerability of John and found myself really thinking through my own life & choices. Realized my need for therapy.
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- jesse
- 12-28-22
MUST READ:
if you grew up in an evangelical setting, you are going to love this hilariously written book! Great commentary on the social media world we live in now.
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- JFay
- 02-01-23
I really enjoyed this.
Liked his frank and honest conversation about what’s happened and how he’s gotten through it. Mixed with loads of humor.
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