
Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
A Festive Mystery
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Narrated by:
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Barton Welch
About this listen
Benjamin Stevenson returns with a Christmas addition to his bestselling, “deviously good fun” (Nita Prose), Ernest Cunningham mysteries. Unwrap all the Christmas staples: presents, family, an impossible murder or two, and a deadly advent calendar of clues. If Knives Out and The Thursday Murder Club kissed under the mistletoe.
My name’s Ernest Cunningham. I used to be a fan of reading Golden Age murder mysteries, until I found myself with a haphazard career getting stuck in the middle of real-life ones. I’d hoped, this Christmas, that any self-respecting murderer would kick their feet up and take it easy over the holidays. I was wrong.
So here I am, backstage at the show of world-famous magician Rylan Blaze, whose benefactor has just been murdered. My suspects are all professional tricksters: masters of the art of misdirection.
THE MAGICIAN
THE ASSISTANT
THE EXECUTIVE
THE HYPNOTIST
THE IDENTICAL TWIN
THE COUNSELLOR
THE TECH
My clues are even more abstract: A suspect covered in blood, without a memory of how it got there. A murder committed without setting foot inside the room where it happens. And an advent calendar. Because, you know, it’s Christmas.
If I can see through the illusions, I know I can solve it.
After all, a good murder is just like a magic trick, isn’t it?
©2024 Benjamin Stevenson (P)2024 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
The Christmas season has arrived in Lower Lockwood, and the Fairway Players are busy rehearsing their festive holiday production of Jack and the Beanstalk to raise money for a new church roof. But despite the season, goodwill is distinctly lacking among the amateur theater enthusiasts with petty rivalries, a possibly asbestos-filled beanstalk, and some perennially absent players behind the scenes. Of course, there’s also the matter of the dead body onstage. Who could possibly have had the victim on their naughty list?
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A funny holiday mystery…
- By Sarah Stubbs on 12-18-23
By: Janice Hallett
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What Happened in London
- DI Adams, Book 1
- By: Kim M. Watt
- Narrated by: Jane Ajia
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Baton. Light. Chocolate. Duck. This is not DS Adams' usual kit. This is not DS Adams' usual case. She doesn't think it's anyone's usual case, not with the vanishing children and the looming bridge and the hungry river. Not with the snap-snap-snap. But six kids are missing, and she's not going to let there be a seventh. Not on her watch. And she knows how to handle human monsters, after all. How different can this really be?
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Good story awful narration
- By Some Girl on 10-11-24
By: Kim M. Watt
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One Death at a Time
- By: Abbi Waxman
- Narrated by: Patti Murin
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A cranky former actress teams up with her Gen Z sobriety sponsor to solve the murder that threatens to send her back to prison in this dazzling new mystery novel from the USA Today bestselling author of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill.
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Such a fun listen!
- By WKB on 04-19-25
By: Abbi Waxman
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Servo
- Tales from the Graveyard Shift
- By: David Goodwin
- Narrated by: Barton Welch
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us have done our time in the retail trenches, but service stations are undoubtedly the frontline, as Melburnian David Goodwin found out when he started working the weekend graveyard shift at his local servo. From his very first night shift, David absorbed a consistent level of mind-bending lunacy, encountering everything from giant shoplifting bees and balaclava-clad goons hurling cordial-filled water bombs from the sunroof of their BMW, to anarcho-goths high on MDMA releasing large rats into the store from their matching Harry Potter backpacks.
By: David Goodwin
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- Detective Harriet Foster, Book 1
- By: Tracy Clark
- Narrated by: Chanté McCormick
- Length: 11 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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When a young red-haired woman is found brutally murdered in downtown Chicago, one detail stands out: the red lipstick encircling her wrists and ankles. Detective Harriet Foster is on the case, even though she’s still grieving the sudden death of her partner. As a Black woman in a male-dominated department, Foster anticipates a rocky road ahead acclimating to a new team—and building trust with her new partner isn’t coming easily. After another victim turns up with the same lipstick markings, Foster suspects she’s looking for a serial killer.
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I actually liked the narrator!!
- By Jo-Anne Boudissa on 06-25-23
By: Tracy Clark
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Sherlock Holmes and the Twelve Thefts of Christmas
- The New Adventures of Sherlock Holmes Series, Book 3
- By: Tim Major
- Narrated by: Tom Woosnam
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Sherlock Holmes’s discovery of a mysterious musical score initiates a devious Christmas challenge set by Irene Adler, with clues that are all variations on the theme of “theft without theft”, such as a statue missing from a museum found hidden in the room it was taken from. In the snowy London lead-up to Christmas, Holmes’s preoccupation with the “Adler Variations” risks him neglecting the case of his new client, Norwegian arctic explorer Fridtjof Nansen, who has received a series of threats in the form of animal carcasses left on his doorstep.
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Narrator not for me
- By Anna Cashman on 12-04-23
By: Tim Major
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Homicide in Hardcover
- A Bibliophile Mystery
- By: Kate Carlisle
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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The streets of San Francisco would be lined with hardcovers if rare book expert Brooklyn Wainwright had her way. And her mentor wouldn't be lying in a pool of his own blood on the eve of a celebration for his latest book restoration. With his final breath he leaves Brooklyn a cryptic message, and gives her a priceless - and supposedly cursed - copy of Goethe's Faust for safekeeping.
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NICE TYPICAL COZY mystery
- By CarmelaC on 02-06-17
By: Kate Carlisle
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The Adventure of the Seven Christmas Cards
- A Sherlock Holmes Christmas Story
- By: Anthony Horowitz
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As the year comes to a close, Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson must set out through snow laden London to investigate the theft of a priceless clock and the receipt of seven macabre Christmas cards. Will they solve the murderous mystery before they too receive the unwanted 'compliments of the season'? Written by esteemed writer, Anthony Horowitz, and originally published in the Daily Mail, this short story is a festive treat for all fans of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective, Sherlock Holmes.
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57 minutes for one credit?
- By Sandramc on 03-31-25
By: Anthony Horowitz
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Christmas Presents
- By: Lisa Unger
- Narrated by: Jennifer Pickens
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Harley Granger has a gift for seeing things that others miss. He wasn't much of a novelist, but his work as a true crime author and podcaster has earned him fame and wealth—and some serious criticism for his various unethical practices. Still, visiting Little Valley to be closer to his dying father has caused him to look into a case that many people think is closed—and some want reopened.
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The Christmas story i didn’t know i needed
- By Kindle Customer on 12-12-23
By: Lisa Unger
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A Merry Little Meet Cute
- A Novel
- By: Julie Murphy, Sierra Simone
- Narrated by: Joy Nash, Sebastian York
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Bee Hobbes (aka Bianca Von Honey) has a successful career as a plus-size adult film star. With a huge following and two supportive moms, Bee couldn’t ask for more. But when Bee’s favorite producer casts her to star in a Christmas movie he’s making for the squeaky-clean Hope Channel, Bee’s career is about to take a more family-friendly direction. Forced to keep her work as Bianca under wraps, Bee quickly learns this is a task a lot easier said than done.
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Gives the X in Xmas an entirely new meaning
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 12-20-22
By: Julie Murphy, and others
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Murder on the Marlow Belle
- The Marlow Murder Club, Book 4
- By: Robert Thorogood
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Verity Beresford is worried about her husband. Oliver didn’t come home last night so of course Verity goes straight to Judith Potts, Marlow’s resident amateur sleuth, for help. Oliver, founder of the Marlow Amateur Dramatic Society, had hired The Marlow Belle, a private pleasure cruiser, for an exclusive party with the MADS committee but no one remembers seeing him disembark. And then Oliver’s body washes up on the Thames with two bullet holes in him—it’s time for the Marlow Murder Club to leap into action.
By: Robert Thorogood
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Kiss Me at Christmas
- By: Jenny Bayliss
- Narrated by: Caroline Fantozzi
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Christmas can officially get stuffed because Harriet Smith is not feeling bright and merry this year. She hasn’t for a while. So when her college-aged daughter opts for Manhattan’s winter wonderland instead of Christmas at home, Harriet finds herself seeking solace in a wine-soaked one-night stand. But how Harriet will spend the holidays is swiftly decided for her after she takes the fall for some students who break into the town’s old Winter Theater.
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Take it or leave it…
- By Anonymous User on 01-27-25
By: Jenny Bayliss
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Murder with Peacocks
- By: Donna Andrews
- Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne
- Length: 11 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Meg Langslow's summer is not going swimmingly. In her small Virginia hometown, she's the maid of honor at the nuptials of three loved ones - each of whom has dumped the planning in her hands. One bride is set on including a Native American herbal purification ceremony while another wants live peacocks on the lawn. But when an offensive newcomer, who hints at skeletons in the guests' closets, is found dead under suspicious circumstances, level-headed Meg's to-do list extends from flower arrangements and bridal registries to catching a killer - before the next event is her own funeral.
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Why did I wait so long
- By Kelley A Johnson on 08-17-19
By: Donna Andrews
What listeners say about Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
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- Khudson
- 01-02-25
enjoyable
person who read was easy to hear and understand. enjoyable story, good holiday book, liked it
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- Michael
- 10-29-24
Festive Fun!
I loved this little novella, while at the same time I wished it was a full length novel!
Still, I’ll take anything I can get in this excellent and unique series. Love the audiobook narrator as well!
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- Steph
- 12-29-24
Magic and murder are illusions.
I really enjoyed this short, holiday special in the Ernest Cunningham series. It's not so much a Christmas story as it is just taking place around Christmas, like Die Hard. It did have an Advent calendar of clues, which I did not figure out.
I also liked the mystery and how less involved it was than the previous two books.
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- Claire Thomas
- 10-28-24
So Fun!
Even after the novelty of Benjamin Stevenson's approach has worn off, these books are still fun. The themes are clever, the mystery is crazily complicated, the characters are engaging, and Barton Welch's performance is outstanding. I will gobble up every book Stevenson adds to this series.
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- Ben
- 12-21-24
Great seasonal novella
Even though it’s set in scorching Australia it still fits the festive mood with the novelty of advent calendars and the like. Quick, interesting storyline. Great for the season!
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- Allison Adams
- 12-29-24
Great fun
Love this series and his other books, and I appreciate the adaptation of the text for the listener (vs. reader)!
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- Bare Knees
- 10-30-24
Disappointed
Where do I start?
Too short.
Weak character development.
Not remotely funny.
Nor was there a believable explanation as to how Erin got blood all over her.
I can not believe I waited for this book for months, and woke up [with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning] on October 22nd. Feel cheated, let down, and robbed at the same. Not just because the two previous books were great but because all the literal bells and whitles on the audio book were simple time-fillers. Narrator still has two vocal ranges: constipated and unconvincing, which would have been okay if the book was anywhere near as funny as Everyone in my family has killed someone or clever as Everyone on this train is a suspect.
Hope the next one disappoints less. This was neither the money I spent on it, nor a great birthday present to myself.
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- mexmike
- 12-16-24
Loved it!
It was a fun and easy listen. Loved the creativity with the Christmas theme. It made me think of an old fashioned radio production.
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- Paul & Kim Pfeifer
- 01-13-25
Shorter, but still fun!
Narrated did a very good job, distinguishing characters and telling the story. This is a shorter story than the other two books but it’s still a load of fun. Can’t wait for the next one ( praying there’s a next one)!
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- bmacfn16
- 11-17-24
Worth the read if you like the series
While it wasn't as good as the other two books, it's a short little story that's a fun side story in the series. Emphasis on SIDE STORY! He explains the rules of a "Christmas Special" in the book and so if you apply that to this story, it helps you appreciate it for what it is. The explanation of how someone becomes covered in blood is very weak and it's the only explanation I really didn't LIKE. Overall, a fun read if you've enjoyed the other two books.
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