
Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
A Festive Mystery
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Narrated by:
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Barton Welch
About this listen
Benjamin Stevenson returns with a Christmas addition to his bestselling, “deviously good fun” (Nita Prose), Ernest Cunningham mysteries. Unwrap all the Christmas staples: presents, family, an impossible murder or two, and a deadly advent calendar of clues. If Knives Out and The Thursday Murder Club kissed under the mistletoe.
My name’s Ernest Cunningham. I used to be a fan of reading Golden Age murder mysteries, until I found myself with a haphazard career getting stuck in the middle of real-life ones. I’d hoped, this Christmas, that any self-respecting murderer would kick their feet up and take it easy over the holidays. I was wrong.
So here I am, backstage at the show of world-famous magician Rylan Blaze, whose benefactor has just been murdered. My suspects are all professional tricksters: masters of the art of misdirection.
THE MAGICIAN
THE ASSISTANT
THE EXECUTIVE
THE HYPNOTIST
THE IDENTICAL TWIN
THE COUNSELLOR
THE TECH
My clues are even more abstract: A suspect covered in blood, without a memory of how it got there. A murder committed without setting foot inside the room where it happens. And an advent calendar. Because, you know, it’s Christmas.
If I can see through the illusions, I know I can solve it.
After all, a good murder is just like a magic trick, isn’t it?
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- By: Kim M. Watt
- Narrated by: Jane Ajia
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Baton. Light. Chocolate. Duck. This is not DS Adams' usual kit. This is not DS Adams' usual case. She doesn't think it's anyone's usual case, not with the vanishing children and the looming bridge and the hungry river. Not with the snap-snap-snap. But six kids are missing, and she's not going to let there be a seventh. Not on her watch. And she knows how to handle human monsters, after all. How different can this really be?
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Good story awful narration
- By Some Girl on 10-11-24
By: Kim M. Watt
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The Dinner Lady Detectives
- The Dinner Lady Detectives 1
- By: Hannah Hendy
- Narrated by: Jenny Funnell
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Murder is a dish best served ice cold... In the idyllic, small town of Dewstow, Margery and Clementine are eagerly awaiting retirement from their work on the front-line serving meals to the students at Summerview secondary school. Their peaceful life is shattered when their kitchen manager is found dead in the school’s walk-in freezer. The police are adamant that it’s an open-and-shut case of accidental death. But Margery and Clementine are convinced that something more sinister is afoot and take it upon themselves to investigate.
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Nope.
- By Pamela on 03-05-24
By: Hannah Hendy
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Servo
- Tales from the Graveyard Shift
- By: David Goodwin
- Narrated by: Barton Welch
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Most of us have done our time in the retail trenches, but service stations are undoubtedly the frontline, as Melburnian David Goodwin found out when he started working the weekend graveyard shift at his local servo. From his very first night shift, David absorbed a consistent level of mind-bending lunacy, encountering everything from giant shoplifting bees and balaclava-clad goons hurling cordial-filled water bombs from the sunroof of their BMW, to anarcho-goths high on MDMA releasing large rats into the store from their matching Harry Potter backpacks.
By: David Goodwin
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The Charity Shop Detective Agency
- The Charity Shop Detective Agency Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Peter Boland
- Narrated by: Zara Ramm
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Fiona, Sue, and Daisy, three retired ladies who volunteer at the local charity shop, Dogs Need Nice Homes, can’t believe their favorite customer is dead. Eighty-six-year-old Sarah Brown was found murdered in her hallway by her delivery man, a domino clutched in her hand—with a name scratched on it. When another person is found dead with a domino in their hand, and with the police making no progress, the ladies will need to help unmask a serial killer. At least they have Fiona’s scruffy-haired terrier cross to assist them.
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Very easy listen
- By Madison Lindley on 01-11-24
By: Peter Boland
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The Author's Guide to Murder
- A Novel
- By: Beatriz Williams, Lauren Willig, Karen White
- Narrated by: Angus King, Saskia Maarleveld, Brittany Pressley, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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There’s been a sensational murder at historic Castle Kinloch, a gothic fantasy of grey granite on a remote island in the Highlands of Scotland. Literary superstar Brett Saffron Presley has been found dead—under bizarre circumstances—in the castle tower’s book-lined study. Years ago, Presley purchased the castle as a showpiece for his brand and to lure paying guests with a taste for writerly glamour. Now it seems, the castle has done him in…or, possibly, one of the castle’s guests has.
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Couldn’t finish
- By TdelaT on 11-28-24
By: Beatriz Williams, and others
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One Death at a Time
- By: Abbi Waxman
- Narrated by: Patti Murin
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A cranky former actress teams up with her Gen Z sobriety sponsor to solve the murder that threatens to send her back to prison in this dazzling new mystery novel from the USA Today bestselling author of The Bookish Life of Nina Hill.
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Great story!
- By Allison on 05-07-25
By: Abbi Waxman
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Murder on the Marlow Belle
- The Marlow Murder Club, Book 4
- By: Robert Thorogood
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Verity Beresford is worried about her husband. Oliver didn’t come home last night so of course Verity goes straight to Judith Potts, Marlow’s resident amateur sleuth, for help. Oliver, founder of the Marlow Amateur Dramatic Society, had hired The Marlow Belle, a private pleasure cruiser, for an exclusive party with the MADS committee but no one remembers seeing him disembark. And then Oliver’s body washes up on the Thames with two bullet holes in him—it’s time for the Marlow Murder Club to leap into action.
By: Robert Thorogood
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The Impossible Fortune
- A Thursday Murder Club Mystery, Book 5
- By: Richard Osman
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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It’s been a quiet year for the Thursday Murder Club. Joyce is busy with table plans and first dances. Elizabeth is grieving. Ron is dealing with family troubles, and Ibrahim is still providing therapy to his favorite criminal. But when Elizabeth meets a wedding guest who’s in trouble, kidnap and death are hot on their heels. A villain wants access to an uncrackable code and will stop at nothing to get it. Plunged back into action once more, can the gang solve the puzzle and a murder in time?
By: Richard Osman
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The Adventure of the Seven Christmas Cards
- A Sherlock Holmes Christmas Story
- By: Anthony Horowitz
- Narrated by: Jonathan Keeble
- Length: 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As the year comes to a close, Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson must set out through snow laden London to investigate the theft of a priceless clock and the receipt of seven macabre Christmas cards. Will they solve the murderous mystery before they too receive the unwanted 'compliments of the season'? Written by esteemed writer, Anthony Horowitz, and originally published in the Daily Mail, this short story is a festive treat for all fans of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous detective, Sherlock Holmes.
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57 minutes for one credit?
- By Sandramc on 03-31-25
By: Anthony Horowitz
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The Treasure Hunters Club
- A Mystery
- By: Tom Ryan
- Narrated by: Graham Halstead
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Welcome to Maple Bay, Nova Scotia. For nearly a century, people have ventured to the idyllic seaside town of Maple Bay in search of a legendary lost pirate treasure, but locals know there’s more than just gold buried in the sand. As the paths of three strangers converge in Maple Bay, the truth is about to be blown wide open. But not before the bodies start to pile up. Peter Barnett is rapidly approaching forty with little to show for it when a mysterious letter invites him to Maple Bay and the mansion his estranged family has called home for generations.
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Great book
- By amy on 11-24-24
By: Tom Ryan
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Albert Smith's Culinary Capers: The first 10 Recipes - A Culinary Cozy Mystery Adventure
- By: Steve Higgs
- Narrated by: Charles Robert Fox
- Length: 63 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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When a retired detective superintendent chooses to take a culinary tour of the British Isles, he hopes to find tasty treats and delicious bakes...what he finds is murder, mayhem, and mystery everywhere he goes. His dog, Rex Harrison, a former police dog fired for having a bad attitude, does his best to steer the humans in the right direction, but he cannot understand why they don’t just use their noses–the answers are right there if they would just employ their strongest sense!
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Outstanding
- By bshields on 10-11-23
By: Steve Higgs
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The Antique Hunter's Guide to Murder
- A Novel
- By: C.L. Miller
- Narrated by: Emilia Fox
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Freya Lockwood is shocked when she learns that Arthur Crockleford, antiques dealer and her estranged mentor, has died under mysterious circumstances. She has spent the last twenty years avoiding her quaint English hometown, but when she receives a letter from Arthur asking her to investigate—sent just days before his death—Freya has no choice but to return to a life she had sworn to leave behind.
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If a week character dies in the forest, do we need to care?
- By S. Bergstrom on 03-27-24
By: C.L. Miller
What listeners say about Everyone This Christmas Has a Secret
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- Khudson
- 01-02-25
enjoyable
person who read was easy to hear and understand. enjoyable story, good holiday book, liked it
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- Steph
- 12-29-24
Magic and murder are illusions.
I really enjoyed this short, holiday special in the Ernest Cunningham series. It's not so much a Christmas story as it is just taking place around Christmas, like Die Hard. It did have an Advent calendar of clues, which I did not figure out.
I also liked the mystery and how less involved it was than the previous two books.
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- Michael
- 10-29-24
Festive Fun!
I loved this little novella, while at the same time I wished it was a full length novel!
Still, I’ll take anything I can get in this excellent and unique series. Love the audiobook narrator as well!
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- Claire Thomas
- 10-28-24
So Fun!
Even after the novelty of Benjamin Stevenson's approach has worn off, these books are still fun. The themes are clever, the mystery is crazily complicated, the characters are engaging, and Barton Welch's performance is outstanding. I will gobble up every book Stevenson adds to this series.
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- Ben
- 12-21-24
Great seasonal novella
Even though it’s set in scorching Australia it still fits the festive mood with the novelty of advent calendars and the like. Quick, interesting storyline. Great for the season!
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- Allison Adams
- 12-29-24
Great fun
Love this series and his other books, and I appreciate the adaptation of the text for the listener (vs. reader)!
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- Bare Knees
- 10-30-24
Disappointed
Where do I start?
Too short.
Weak character development.
Not remotely funny.
Nor was there a believable explanation as to how Erin got blood all over her.
I can not believe I waited for this book for months, and woke up [with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning] on October 22nd. Feel cheated, let down, and robbed at the same. Not just because the two previous books were great but because all the literal bells and whitles on the audio book were simple time-fillers. Narrator still has two vocal ranges: constipated and unconvincing, which would have been okay if the book was anywhere near as funny as Everyone in my family has killed someone or clever as Everyone on this train is a suspect.
Hope the next one disappoints less. This was neither the money I spent on it, nor a great birthday present to myself.
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- mexmike
- 12-16-24
Loved it!
It was a fun and easy listen. Loved the creativity with the Christmas theme. It made me think of an old fashioned radio production.
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- Paul & Kim Pfeifer
- 01-13-25
Shorter, but still fun!
Narrated did a very good job, distinguishing characters and telling the story. This is a shorter story than the other two books but it’s still a load of fun. Can’t wait for the next one ( praying there’s a next one)!
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- bmacfn16
- 11-17-24
Worth the read if you like the series
While it wasn't as good as the other two books, it's a short little story that's a fun side story in the series. Emphasis on SIDE STORY! He explains the rules of a "Christmas Special" in the book and so if you apply that to this story, it helps you appreciate it for what it is. The explanation of how someone becomes covered in blood is very weak and it's the only explanation I really didn't LIKE. Overall, a fun read if you've enjoyed the other two books.
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