Fat Talk
Parenting in the Age of Diet Culture
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Narrated by:
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Virginia Sole-Smith
About this listen
This program is read by the author.
In this illuminating narrative on the daily onslaught of body shame that kids face from peers, school, diet culture, and parents themselves, journalist Virginia Sole-Smith offers a compelling, reported look at how families can change the conversation around weight, health, and self-worth.
By the time they reach kindergarten, most kids have learned that “fat” is bad. As they get older, kids learn to pursue thinness in order to survive in a world that ties our body size to our value. Multibillion-dollar industries thrive on consumers believing that we don’t want to be fat. Our weight-centric medical system pushes “weight loss” as a prescription, while ignoring social determinants of health and reinforcing negative stereotypes about the motives and morals of people in larger bodies. And parents today, having themselves grown up in the confusion of modern diet culture, worry equally about the risks of our kids caring too much about being “thin” and about what happens if our kids are fat. Sole-Smith shows how the reverberations of this messaging and social pressures on young bodies continue well into adulthood—and what we can do to fight them.
Fat Talk argues for a reclaiming of “fat,” which is not synonymous with “unhealthy,” “inactive,” or “lazy.” Talking to researchers and activists, as well as parents and kids across a broad swath of the country, Sole-Smith lays bare how America’s focus on solving the “childhood obesity epidemic” has perpetuated a second crisis of disordered eating and body hatred for kids of all sizes. She exposes our society’s internalized fatphobia and elucidates how and why we need to stop “preventing obesity” and start supporting kids in the bodies they have.
Continuing conversations started by works like Girls & Sex, Under Pressure, and Essential Labor, Fat Talk is a stirring, deeply researched, and groundbreaking audiobook that will help parents learn to reckon with their own body biases, identify diet culture messaging, and ultimately empower their kids to navigate this challenging landscape. Sole-Smith offers an alternative framework for parenting around food and bodies, and a way for us all to work toward a more weight-inclusive world—because it’s not our kids, or their bodies, who need fixing.
A Macmillan Audio production from Henry Holt & Company.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Virginia Sole-Smith (P)2023 Macmillan AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“I am extremely grateful to Virginia for writing Fat Talk. It’s a fearless and game-changing addition to the conversation about kids, food and weight, and a book that all parents need to read.”—Emily Oster, author of Expecting Better and Cribsheet
“If you have ever held a piece of food or briefly glimpsed a part of your body and felt a complicated thing, you need to read this book. Fat Talk is about parenting—but also about living—within and outside of the nefarious stories we’ve been told about food and bodies and how and why they relate to health; about the dangers of restriction and the freedom and the power that can come from loving ourselves and one another on new and better terms.”—Lynn Steger Strong, author of Flight and Want
“Fat Talk is the book I wish my parents had when I was growing up.”—Julia Turshen, New York Times bestselling author
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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Girling Up
- How to Be Strong, Smart and Spectacular
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik
- Length: 3 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Mayim Bialik, Jeopardy! host and star of The Big Bang Theory, puts her PhD to work as she talks to teens about the science of growing up and getting ahead. A must-have audiobook for all teenage girls. Growing up as a girl in today’s world is no easy task. Juggling family, friends, romantic relationships, social interests and school...sometimes it feels like you might need to be a superhero to get through it all! But really, all you need is little information.
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Useful for teenage girls
- By Anonymous User on 10-07-18
By: Mayim Bialik
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Beauty Sick
- How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women
- By: Renee Engeln
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Today's young women face a bewildering set of contradictions when it comes to beauty. They don't want to be Barbie dolls but, like generations of women before them, are told they must look like them. They're angry about the media's treatment of women but hungrily consume the very outlets that belittle them. They understand that what they see isn't real but still download apps to airbrush their selfies.
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No conclusion
- By Amazon Customer on 01-15-21
By: Renee Engeln
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Fat Girls in Black Bodies
- Creating Communities of Our Own
- By: Joy Arlene Renee Cox Ph.D., Ta'lor Pinkston - foreword, Jill Andrew Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Gwendolyn Carter
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Structured into three sections - "belonging," "resistance," and "acceptance" - and informed by personal history, community stories, and deep research, Fat Girls in Black Bodies breaks down the myths, stereotypes, tropes, and outright lies we've been sold about race, body size, belonging, and health. Cox's razor-sharp cultural commentary exposes the racist roots of diet culture, healthism, and the ways we erroneously conflate body size with personal responsibility.
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AMAZING
- By Amazon Customer on 03-21-21
By: Joy Arlene Renee Cox Ph.D., and others
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Boying Up
- How to Be Brave, Bold and Brilliant
- By: Mayim Bialik
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik
- Length: 4 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing from a boy to a man is no easy task. Bodies are changing, social circles are evolving, hair is appearing in places it never was before - and on top of it all, there's the ever-present pressure to conform to the typical idea of what it means to be "manly". But it's easier to do if you're armed with facts. Using personal anecdotes as an overly observant mother of two boys and plenty of scientific information from her life as a neuroscientist, Mayim Bialik, PhD, star of The Big Bang Theory, talks directly to teen boys about what it means to grow from a boy to a man.
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Missed Audience?
- By Hemmik on 05-29-18
By: Mayim Bialik
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More than a Body
- Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament
- By: Lexie Kite, Lindsay Kite
- Narrated by: Lexie Kite PhD, Lindsay Kite PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Our beauty-obsessed world perpetuates the idea that happiness, health, and ability to be loved are dependent on how we look, but authors Lindsay and Lexie Kite offer an alternative vision. With insights drawn from their extensive body image research, Lindsay and Lexie—PhDs and founders of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined (and also twin sisters!)—lay out an action plan that arms you with the skills you need to reconnect with your whole self and free yourself from the constraints of self-objectification.
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Good Intentions; Questionable Message.
- By Lacquered By Bec on 05-03-21
By: Lexie Kite, and others
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Healthy Habits Suck
- How to Get off the Couch and Live a Healthy Life…Even If You Don't Want To
- By: Dayna Lee-Baggley PhD, Russ Harris - foreword
- Narrated by: Tia Rider
- Length: 3 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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With this funny, in-your-face guide, you won’t find advice on how to “enjoy” exercise, or tips for making broccoli and kale taste as good as donuts and ice cream. What you will find are solid skills to help you actually do the healthy things you know you should be doing. Using these skills - based in acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and neuroscience - you’ll learn to find the motivation you’re craving to adopt healthy habits, even if they do suck. You’ll also discover how to accept self-criticism, develop self-compassion, and live a more meaningful life.
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Best book I’ve read
- By drMP on 11-04-22
By: Dayna Lee-Baggley PhD, and others
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Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture
- 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Lisbeth Carol Keen
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Learn about the essential, complementary roles that mothers and fathers play; the dangers of social media - and how to help your daughter navigate them; what every daughter needs to know about God; how to launch your daughter into successful womanhood; and more.
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Should had read the details instead of the title.
- By Ms. Burke on 11-15-20
By: Meg Meeker
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The Dolphin Way
- A Parent's Guide to Raising Healthy, Happy, and Motivated Kids - without Turning into a Tiger
- By: Shimi Kang
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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The Dolphin Way walks readers through Dr. Kang’s four-part method for cultivating self-motivation. The audiobook makes a powerful case that we are not forced to choose between being permissive or controlling. The third option—the option that will prepare our kids for success in a future that will require adaptability - is the dolphin way.
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Very easy way to understand complicated subject
- By Nhat on 11-05-18
By: Shimi Kang
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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Bare
- A 7-Week Program to Transform Your Body, Get More Energy, Feel Amazing, and Become the Bravest, Most Unstoppable Version of You
- By: Susan Hyatt
- Narrated by: Susan Hyatt
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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You are a badass whole woman with big dreams, big feelings, and big potential. What are you hiding behind that shield of overeating? Who do you want to be when you put down the shield and take on life's battles bare? This is the perfect book if you want to take excellent care of yourself, upgrade your mental and physical health, build confidence, conquer your goals, crush the patriarchy, and look and feel damn good while doing it. Bare is not a weight-loss plan. It's a life-gain plan.
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Week 1-Purged all Self-Help from my media
- By Sher on 08-07-19
By: Susan Hyatt
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Ready or Not
- Preparing Our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World
- By: Madeline Levine
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready or Not explores how today’s parenting techniques and our myopic educational system are failing to prepare children for their certain-to-be-uncertain future - and how we can reverse course to ensure their lasting adaptability, resilience, health, and happiness.
By: Madeline Levine
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The New Normal
- A Roadmap to Resilience in the Pandemic Era
- By: Jennifer Ashton
- Narrated by: Jennifer Ashton
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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From Dr. Jennifer Ashton comes a doctor’s guide to finding resilience in the time of COVID, while staying safe and sane in a rapidly changing world. The New Normal is a holistic road map through the ongoing struggles of the pandemic, providing the guidance you need to navigate this unsettling time and take charge of your future well-being.
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Live Each Day Alive
- By Barbara A. Badalewski on 06-02-23
By: Jennifer Ashton
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To live in a body both fat and Black is to exist at the margins of a society that creates the conditions for anti-fatness as anti-Blackness. Hyper-policed by state and society, passed over for housing and jobs, and derided and misdiagnosed by medical professionals, fat Black people in the United States are subject to socio-politically sanctioned discrimination, abuse, condescension, and trauma.
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An urgent, enlightening and empowering guide to disavowing diet culture and learning to make peace with our bodies, from body confidence and anti-diet advocate Alex Light, You Are Not a Before Picture provides a framework for changing the way we view ourselves and the world around us.
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In 1995, Hadley Freeman wrote in her diary: “I just spent three years of my life in mental hospitals. So why am I crazier than I was before????” From the ages of 14 to 17, Freeman lived in psychiatric wards after developing anorexia nervosa. Her doctors informed her that her body was cannibalizing her muscles and heart for nutrition, but they could tell her little else: why she had it, what it felt like, what recovery looked like. For the next twenty years, Freeman lived as a “functioning anorexic,” grappling with new forms of self-destructive behavior as the anorexia mutated and persisted.
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The inequity of domestic life is one of the most profound and perplexing conundrums of our time. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly remains: the unequal amount of parental work that falls on women, no matter their class or professional status.
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Must read for men
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Decolonizing Wellness
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In Decolonizing Wellness, registered dietitian and nutritionist Dalia Kinsey will help listeners improve their health without restriction, eliminate stress around food and eating, and turn food into a source of pleasure instead of shame. A road map to body acceptance and self-care for queer people of color, this book is filled with practical eating practices, journal prompts, affirmations, and mindfulness tools.
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Question everything!!
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The Body Is Not an Apology, Second Edition
- The Power of Radical Self-Love
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- Narrated by: Sonya Renee Taylor
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Humans are a varied and divergent bunch with all manner of beliefs, morals, and bodies. Systems of oppression thrive off our inability to make peace with difference and injure the relationship we have with our own bodies. The Body Is Not an Apology offers radical self-love as the balm to heal the wounds inflicted by these violent systems. World-renowned activist and poet Sonya Renee Taylor invites us to reconnect with the radical origins of our minds and bodies and celebrate our collective, enduring strength.
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YES YES YES
- By Sarah vdw on 02-16-21
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Body Neutral
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Have you ever thought that if only you could change something about the way you looked, your life would be better? But the truth is that even if you were to magically attain the “perfect” body right now, your problems wouldn’t be solved. Because body image issues are never just about the body. Body image issues are always about something deeper, and they always serve some kind of purpose.
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Kneeland gave words to my experience
- By Baker on 07-03-23
By: Jessi Kneeland
What listeners say about Fat Talk
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MaineReader
- 05-11-23
Essential reading for ALL PARENTS.
I'm a very thin person who was raised by a mother in a larger body. I witnessed her being constantly ridiculed, berated, shamed, picked at, pitied, and lectured at by everyone in her life from her husband to her doctors to my classmates in third grade (!) to her family (who also mostly lived in large bodies). She dieted all. the. time. It never worked and everyone blamed her. She was a failure to them and to herself because, as far as anyone knew (herself included), it was all her fault. Living every single day this way is torture. No person deserves that, not an adult and most definitely not a child. Diet culture needs to END. I honestly don't think it is possible for me, after all these decades, to fully remove the negative track in my head about weight even though I would love to. I could say I'm naturally thin but that's probably bullshit. I'm terrified thin and for good reason. I will NOT have this happen to my daughter. No way. Virginia Sole-Smith's book is an excellent corrective and I urge all parents--actually all readers--to read it. Because we all live in diet culture and unless we are aware of how we talk and think about bodies and food and weight there is a good chance we are hurting another person.
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- Kmbird12
- 07-07-23
I needed to hear this!
I appreciated the research and message in this book and it is helping me start my journey battling anti-fatness, body shame, and responsibly talking to kids about this topic!
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- Lee Zwink
- 01-22-24
Good and interesting info
This listen gave me lots to think about. Helped me examine some issues, attitudes in my life and in people around me. Definitely recommend but I did NOT like the narrator's voice. Very raspy and monotone, not joyful or animated at all, so it was a bit torturous to listen to.
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- SC
- 06-16-23
Foundational reading for humans
So grateful for Virginia's brain, heart, soul (sole;), body, wisdom, tribe, and all who helped her bring forth this critically needed work. The scope of the work is immense, exceeding my expectations. As a person who has struggled back and forth, in and out of a larger body from childhood, I can testify to the hurt, damage, and permanent injury wrought by a culture enslaved by diet culture. Regardless of one's body size, the psychological straight jacket of being convinced that our vessels are unacceptable no matter what we (increasingly radically) do to change them, turns each of us into shadows of who we are and what we can do in the short time we have on this planet. Imagine what we could accomplish together without the shackles of this misdirection! Imagine all of us being able to turn away from patent untruths told by generations about our human meat suits, and toward a cure for cancer, a solution to our precious planet tipping toward disaster, or a way to feed everyone? The stakes have never been higher. We need our whole selves back, thank you. Let's be kind to ourselves, each other, and our *children* through a complete paradigm shift with the practical tools and deeply explored insight of this lovely, beautifully wise woman.
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- Sag67
- 10-12-23
All-encompassing (and not just for parents)
Great read (listen) that encompasses the far-reaching effects of conflating weight and health on individuals and institutions. Covers topics such as anti-fat bias, weight stigma, diet culture, and eating disorders. While it is written by a parent for parents, it is relevant to everyone. I highly recommend this book for anyone interested in better understanding our complicated relationships with our bodies and food.
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- lc
- 09-04-23
A must read for parents and providers
This book was detailed and engaging. It helped me see how the dominant narrative about fat has crept into even my early childhood. It was definitely a great perspective shift for me. I am on my ED recovery journey and I'm so glad that I don't need to pass my trauma on to my kids or the kids I work with.
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- Rennie Dyball
- 05-11-23
Essential listening
A critical parenting guide for anyone with children in our fat-phobic society. The author is non-judgmental, warm, and so helpful for parents. Wish I could give it more stars!
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- Tom
- 09-14-23
Easy to follow and important
Explaining beautifully the mechanisms of fat phobia and it’s potential harm to children.
This is important for everyone, not just parents.
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- Morgan R.
- 09-29-23
My New Too Resource
As an eating disorder therapist who works with teens and families, I always struggled to find a resource that had it all. But I found it all in this book.
I’m about to start buying copies to hand to strangers on the street. Everyone, no matter their demographic, needs to read these powerful words.
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- Anna McClaugherty
- 01-08-24
Helpful advice and very well researched and easy to understand
I appreciate all the research as well as the personal vulnerabilities that went into making this book. I find this helpful as a therapist and with helping to raise kids.
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