
Here, There Be Dorfs!
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Narrated by:
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Ilse Max
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Phillip Polite
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By:
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Montgomery Quinn
About this listen
I never thought, after all those fantasy novels. That I would ever live through one.
My name is Tobias Conner-Kyanite. And yeah. That name is still something I’m not quite used to yet. Most of this was an accident. But not a regret. Not even a little.
I’d like to say, that boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl and boy marries girl. Unfortunately, or I like to think, fortunately. That girl didn’t know the boy existed, and when I arrived at Dead Man’s Shaft to meet with the lovely Vanessa Weeks for an impromptu spelunking lesson. Well, it was her boyfriend and a few of his buddies waiting for me.
Rather than get the whooping of a lifetime, I ran for the darkness of the old mine shaft. Where I took a nasty fall. How it happened, and where I ended up, I have no idea. But the strange, blind, batlike monster hanging from the ceiling when I woke up told me this wasn’t earth any more.
The five beings in powered armor that came to my rescue only reinforced that fact. Inside those metal shells, though… Five of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. With eyes and hair like the gemstones they’re named after.
This is a hard world. Of struggle, honor, and fantastical technology, unlike anything I have ever seen. Held together by five families, with five elders… Who just so happen to be the fathers of the women who rescued me. And when their attempt to have me executed goes awry with the news of my unknowing betrothal to one of those beautiful women.
This world is little like the one I grew up in. Their laws are harsh and absolute. So I better learn quick. Because the consequences can be fatal. And I’m getting rather attached to my rescuers.
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
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Buyer's Remorse
- By Amy on 03-31-25
By: John Scalzi
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What listeners say about Here, There Be Dorfs!
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- C E Wright
- 03-07-25
Cultural differences abound.
The narrators were great with alarge range of voices that fit the characters. There was was a believability they brought out as they spoke in the portrayals of the characters. It really brought more life to those characters.
Saying all tha,t there are some very explicit depictions in sex, fighting, and of course terrible monster creatures.
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- M M
- 02-22-25
Bad Narrator Good Story,
The story is good, But i can not get over the Male Narrator sure he says all the words correctly in order, but with ZERO emotion inflection or it seems any effort at all.
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- A Marin
- 02-02-25
Great twist to Isekai
Fantastic story and great twist that uses dwarves instead of the classic elves. My only hang up is the narrator. While done well, he sounds a bit monotone at times.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Madeleine Ames
- 02-26-25
Overall story line
Interesting story. Something new. I liked it. Though the erotic scenes did drag. A bit too detailed in my opinion. And some of the erotic vocabulary words were repeated a bit too much back to back. Considered various word choices throughout. However, I’d definitely play it again. Definitely out of my comfort zone. Something I did enjoy being hesitant at first. Also it had an abrupt ending to it.
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