
Farm or Die
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Narrated by:
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Boise Blue
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Raya Kane
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By:
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Montgomery Quinn
About this listen
Dapy was an odd fellow. Not the bad sort. Just the quiet sort. The animals spoke to him far better than people did. Not that Dapy would ever mind. Living the simple farmer’s life was all he looked forward to.
Until it wasn’t.
His parents died quickly. Struck down by the wasting sickness. It was all he could do to run and beg the local baron for medicine. Medicine that came too late.
Reeling from the loss of his parents, on a farm he couldn’t maintain on his own, Dapy knows he has a debt that can never be repaid to a man who would never forgive it. With a last goodbye to the only home he had ever known, our young farmer stepped off the path... And stumbled over an intoxicated wizard on the road.
Through the drunken wizard’s slurred speech, Dapy accepts a job.
As a farmer.
On a farm, with strange magical qualities.
And a history of mysteriously dead farmers.
Only now it’s too late. The farm is too important to risk revealing. Dapy is forever stuck. Him, alongside a very cranky cat.
Surely the pretty kitty had nothing to do with a range of mysterious deaths? SURELY?
©2024 Montgomery Quinn (P)2024 Royal Guard Publishing LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
I took an oath to destroy them all. That not a single goblin would remain on this world. Trapped in the skeleton of an old dark elf ruin, deep beneath the trees and grass. I found her. The festering goddess that unleashed this plague upon the world. The one I would need to destroy, in order to complete my life’s mission. But she too, longs for the end. Despite my efforts to uphold my oath, I am thrust into a new world to start my slaughter once again. But the twisted creatures of my nightmares aren’t here.
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It was OK, but there were issues.
- By Anonymous User on 10-18-23
By: Montgomery Quinn
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Mortal Scorn
- By: A.V. Ray
- Narrated by: Kat Riley, Byron Ormond
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Connor Huntsson had a plan: build a home, marry his best friend, and make lots of babies. The house was easy—but the rest? Problematic. Getting into a brawl alongside the chieftain’s daughter might have been forgivable, but kidnapping a drunken king would lead to war. Armed with his inheritance and the truth of who he is, Connor still wants to live the life of a man. But to do that, he must first seek the powers of a god.
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More than a harem novel. You NEED to read this book.
- By BLG on 05-31-25
By: A.V. Ray
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I Summoned My What?!
- By: Montgomery Quinn
- Narrated by: Raya Kane, Wayne Kelly
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Wanting to go into business with his best friend, Evie, Calon never could have expected how his life would turn in an instant. Rushing into the burning home of a neighbor, the unthinkable happens, and our fearless main character dies a hero. Only...he doesn't quite make it to the afterlife.
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really bad
- By Anonymous User on 04-26-23
By: Montgomery Quinn
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Down the Rabbit Hole | Collection 1
- By: Misty Vixen
- Narrated by: Robin Shay
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Down the Rabbit Hole Collection One collects the first four episodes of the series, and includes two bonus short stories that take place from the girls' perspective.
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bunnies!
- By Anonymous on 06-30-25
By: Misty Vixen
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Monster Girl Farm
- A Farm LitRPG Story
- By: Simon Archer
- Narrated by: Melissa Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jerry follows the trail of his missing uncle, he discovers a mysterious monster-girl and an equally mysterious region called Delom where everything works like a video game. But there isn't time to gawk, because Jerry's inherited his uncle's farm, once the most famous animal breeder in Delom, and everything is falling apart. The animals are low level, there's not enough food to keep their health up, and a greedy developer wants to put Jerry and the farm out of business.
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Not what I expected and not in a good way
- By Eric on 04-17-21
By: Simon Archer
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Sky Lord
- An Isekai Fantasy Adventure
- By: Jack Bryce
- Narrated by: Richard Brock, Raya Kane
- Length: 14 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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The world of Skyhall awaits, unlocked by a mysterious inheritance from Jonathan’s eccentric, adventuring uncle. The threats are legion—dungeons, undead, wyverns, and beastfolk—but Jonathan has a unique class that will give him the power to expand and improve his own airship. In time, he will turn it into a veritable fortress and flying palace. Also, he won’t be going to Skyhall alone.
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straight up SIMP TRASH
- By CooJo on 10-01-24
By: Jack Bryce
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There's a Cat Girl in My Cubicle! Omnibus
- Books 1-3: A Slice of Life Office Adventure
- By: Austin Beck
- Narrated by: Giancarlo Herrera, Hannah Schooner
- Length: 20 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Immerse yourself in the extraordinary tale of Kazuki, an otaku with a deep infatuation for cat girls, who suddenly finds himself in the enchanting Silver City. Here, a variety of fantastical races coexist harmoniously, but it's the cat girls who command Kazuki's attention. Kazuki's life takes a thrilling turn when he rescues a beautiful cat girl executive from danger, landing him a role as Security Specialist at 'Whisker Wonders,' a prominent cat girl consulting firm.
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Poorly Written & Oddly Narrated
- By Laziest Reviewer on 09-13-24
By: Austin Beck
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Starship Heroes
- By: Jack Spry, Dan Raxor
- Narrated by: Evan Reed, Ellory Lane
- Length: 10 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Born in a small spaceport on a distant planet, I dreamed of flying a starship, exploring wild frontiers and having one exciting encounter after another. I wanted to go everywhere, but life locked me onto the slow track to nowhere. Then fate dealt me a new hand, and my life changed beyond all imagination in the most amazing ways. But I couldn’t do it by myself. To fulfill my dream, I needed a team of starship heroes. Earning their trust and making them family will be just as grand as the epic adventures.
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Worst Main-character ever made, congrats
- By Kindle Customer on 07-24-24
By: Jack Spry, and others
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Grimmwald: Book 1
- By: Jay Aury
- Narrated by: Barbie Jean Warmack, Jim Swanson
- Length: 11 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Maxim Volt worked very hard NOT to become the local madman. He didn’t plot doom upon his enemies (even when they deserved it). He didn’t stitch together monsters with parts 'recycled' from the local graveyard. Why, he barely allowed himself a maniacal laugh or two! And yet, he still somehow ended up getting kicked out of university, banished from the family estate, and inheriting a decrepit castle high in the mountains of Eastern Europe, complete with a spooky but devoted maid.
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Quirky Fun
- By NOEL on 04-05-25
By: Jay Aury
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The Dragon Cult
- Omnibus: Books 1-3
- By: Isaac Keyes
- Narrated by: Sylvester Frost, Erin Bateman
- Length: 22 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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She summoned him to a desperate world. Pulled from a mundane life by a beautiful stranger, Michael is offered what he’s always wanted: something to believe in, to care about, to fight for. But he’s no warrior. The people of Vendira have been oppressed by dark magic for centuries, any spark of resistance long since extinguished. They need a symbol of hope to push back against the malevolent forces that rule the world. Could he be what this world so desperately needs?
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not impressed
- By Anonymous User on 03-19-24
By: Isaac Keyes
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Villain for Hire Omnibus 1
- Babes and Badguys
- By: Jay Aury
- Narrated by: Andrew Pond, Ellory Lane, Edward Black
- Length: 21 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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As a villain for hire I followed those rules, facing down heroes in scripted fights to make them look good for the press and brand deals. Sure, losing every time was a pain, but the money was good. Well, decent. And it kept real heroes off my back. Well, usually.
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The audio in book 2 is beyond scuffed
- By kyle on 02-04-25
By: Jay Aury
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AnimeCon
- Harem
- By: FortySixtyFour
- Narrated by: Harriet Sinclair, Jean Paul Garces
- Length: 15 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Brian attends an anime convention with a mysterious charm.
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Originally Just Smut, Eventually Deep Characters
- By Clovermite on 12-18-24
By: FortySixtyFour
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Fertile Valley 1
- Fertile Valley, Book 1
- By: Annabelle Hawthorne, Virgil Knightley
- Narrated by: Boise Blue, Aurora Bliss
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Peter Busch-McGinley is a self-employed handyman in Max City. For the last eight years, life has been a downward spiral that left him nothing to show for his pain. But that's about to change. Pete is approached by the patron deity of the Fertile Valley and Mineral Village—the self-described Harvest Goddess. She reveals his destiny as her chosen one, which obviously throws him for a loop. As shocking as that is, it isn't nearly as surprising as what his childhood friend, Queenie Luna, reveals to him.
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So good!
- By John on 01-16-25
By: Annabelle Hawthorne, and others
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Rise of the Weakest Healer Omnibus: Books 1-3
- A LitRPG Saga
- By: Blake Alexander
- Narrated by: Dylan Wheeler, Ellory Lane
- Length: 35 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Ben clocked in and clocked out, living a dreary life until a rip of energy caught his attention. Of course, interfering with the spell proved disastrous and he's sucked into a portal. On Semintor, the fantastical exists alongside wondrous magic. Ben arrives with a massive advantage thanks to his tinkering with the portal that got him there: his Arcana—his ability to cast powerful magic—are downright godly. The man is capable of casting group heals, buffing all sorts of attributes, and more, making him a highly sought after spellcaster, a rare dedicated supporting healer. But there's a catch.
By: Blake Alexander
The Plot Sort of Disappears
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