How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja
The Adventures of Duke LaGrange, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Will Tulin
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By:
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Jay Key
About this listen
Bounty hunters. Ninjas. Anthropomorphic musk oxen from the moons of Gartosh. Welcome to the gut-busting universe of Duke LaGrange!
When bounty hunter Duke LaGrange and his oft-inebriated Japanese-Irish ninja companion, Ishiro’shea, entered their favorite watering hole, Cyborg Joe’s Grill N’ Go & The Why Not Saloon, they had no idea that they would soon be gobbled up by an unhinged astral anomaly and deposited on an uncharted primitive world. Few things are worse than undeveloped planets, especially those that haven’t even made it to the soufflé stage. To top it off, this particular planet comes with its own insane ruler and an Orb That Controls Everything and Must Be Respected. The bounty hunting duo will need to navigate a violent rebellion, flying fire-breathing panthers, and mutated swamp cannibals in order to avoid being stranded light years from the nearest well-made martini.
How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja is the first book in The Adventures of Duke LaGrange, a series of hilarious sci-fi adventure romps from the creative mind of Jay Key. You are sure to fall in love with Key’s menagerie of colorful characters and laugh-out-loud storytelling talents.
©2018, 2019 Jay Key (P)2019 Jay KeyListeners also enjoyed...
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Nicole Lee's life is going nowhere. No family, no money, and stuck in a relationship with a thug named Bungie. But, after one of Bungie's "deals" goes south, he and Nicole are whisked away by a mysterious moth-like humanoid to a strange ship called the Fyrantha. Once aboard, life on the ship seems too good to be true. All she has to do is work on one of the ship's many maintenance crews. However, she learned long ago that nothing comes without a catch. When she's told to keep quiet and stop asking questions, she knows she is on to something.
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Things Are Not What They Seem
- By J. Jones on 05-27-18
By: Timothy Zahn
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Initiate
- Animus, Book 1
- By: Joshua Anderle, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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He was in a gang but was trying to change his future, when a board member of the elite advanced academy NEXUS made a snap decision and offered him a chance. Then fate, or an unbalanced genius, offered him another. The Nexus Academy is for the elite trainees from Earth, and now trials from our alien allies, as they teach the future generation how to fight, lead, hack, spy, and many other talents and tactics. Hired by companies, governments, and NGOs, these graduates work to pay off the massive debt their training at the academy accumulates.
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I don’t Understand How It received Any Good Reviews
- By Joseph B. Daugherty on 08-23-19
By: Joshua Anderle, and others
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Thrive
- A Post-Apocalyptic Alien Survival Novel
- By: Jonathan Yanez
- Narrated by: Mark Boyett, Suzy Jackson
- Length: 7 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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The citizens enjoy the peace of their perfectly planned city. But when she notices cracks in the facade, Jordan’s waking dreams turn to nightmares. She thought she had received the promotion of a lifetime; she was wrong. The promotion only brings her closer to terrifying truths of the administration. Secrets told to keep the citizens safe turn out to be lies to keep them in line. Those in power manipulate from the shadows behind whispers and fear. Because if Jordan is brave enough to look past the veil, a mad wasteland awaits.
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A "Matrix" social experience
- By SD on 12-31-19
By: Jonathan Yanez
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Big Trouble
- Small Medium, Book 1
- By: Andrew Seiple
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Chase Berrymore dreams of adventure, excitement, and getting the heck out of her pastoral halven village. But when adventure finds her, she'll be scrambling to save her family and friends from a necromancer's wrath. Outmatched in almost every way, she'll have to use her wits, charisma, and a bit of divine favor to figure out the path to victory. Even worse, she'll have to figure out ways to deal with the weird and nigh-immortal beings that call themselves "playas"...and she'll have to do it with the most powerful weapon she has available: words.
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Great continuation of threadbear-verse
- By Randall on 08-17-19
By: Andrew Seiple
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Fated
- Alex Verus Series, Book 1
- By: Benedict Jacka
- Narrated by: Gildart Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex Verus is part of a world hidden in plain sight, running a magic shop in London. And while Alex's own powers aren't as showy as some mages, he does have the advantage of foreseeing the possible future-allowing him to pull off operations that have a million-to-one-chance of success. But when Alex is approached by multiple factions to crack open a relic from a long-ago mage war, he knows that whatever's inside must be beyond powerful.
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Harry Dresden meets the Temple of Doom
- By Jessica on 05-15-14
By: Benedict Jacka
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The Gorgon Bride
- By: Galen Surlak-Ramsey
- Narrated by: Natasha Soudek
- Length: 10 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Alexander Weiss inadvertently insults Athena, goddess of wisdom, and she casts him away on a forgotten isle filled with statues. Being marooned is bad enough, but the fact that the island is also the home of Euryale, elder sister to Medusa, makes the situation a touch worse. The only thing keeping Alex from being petrified is the fact that Euryale has taken a liking to the blundering mortal. For now.
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This book is AWESOME... MORE please!!!
- By Annie Armstrong on 11-02-18
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Dodge Tank
- Crystal Shards Online Series, Book 1
- By: Rick Scott
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Ryan's life sucks. His brother is a jerk, his mom is sick, and his legs are next to useless thanks to a neurological disorder. Plus the world ended two centuries ago from nuclear war. Now the only escape from reality being the massive VR world of Crystal Shards Online. But even in the game, Ryan's life sucks. He works as a miner, earning not nearly enough to afford the operation that will save his mom. When Ryan discovers an item that grants the ability to dodge any attack, however, he has the chance to become one of the game world's most elite and sought after players: a Dodge Tank.
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Multiple Classes?! Mostly, but Multiple Classes!!
- By Sheldon "Tech" on 06-17-18
By: Rick Scott
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An Unprecedented Prospect Vol.1 First Days: A Gamelit Isekai Light Novel
- By: Rise!, Sebastian Guzman
- Narrated by: Erin Bateman
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Just because we're of the Death Domain doesn't mean we need to be so dead on the inside! Rejoice! The First Phase of the Cycle of Renewal has come again, and the Veil has lifted, opening the way to the Land of Fortune!
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It tricked me into thinking it was good for a bit
- By Anonymous User on 12-14-22
By: Rise!, and others
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An Elven Pirate Lord Omnibus, Books 1-3
- By: Marcus Sloss
- Narrated by: Daniel Wisniewski, Rebecca Woods
- Length: 31 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Marooned in a strange land. Rescued by a sexy wood elf and her forest friends. Wes has a perilous journey in front of him to reclaim his home, his honor, and his future. In a world where political corruption is rife and there are dangers in every direction, the wood elf and her friends might not be what Wes was looking for, but they might be just what he needs.
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MC is an ass and too much porn
- By smarquis on 03-26-23
By: Marcus Sloss
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Guardians of the Galaxy
- Collect Them All
- By: Corinne Duyvis, Marvel
- Narrated by: Scott McCormick, full cast
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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When the Guardians attempt to evacuate a Kree prison planet and end up in a fight for their lives - what else is new? - they discover their old pal Groot is stretched a little thin. Someone is planting stolen branches of the monosyllabic hero and selling the saplings across the galaxy! The search to find Groot's missing pieces forces the Guardians into an alliance with the unscrupulous Collector, but the real problem is more complicated than he wants them to believe.
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Same old same old
- By B. Williams on 06-14-21
By: Corinne Duyvis, and others
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Sentenced to Troll Compendium, Books 1-3
- By: S.L. Rowland
- Narrated by: Eric Jason Martin
- Length: 29 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Chad Johnson built his following by being a troll. Online games, social media, you name it—he's there with a witty comeback. But when he goes too far during a televised stream, he's handed a punishment unlike any other. Instead of the usual ban or suspension, Chad's sentenced to thirty days of full immersion therapy in Isle of Mythos—a world of epic fantasy filled with dungeons and mythical creatures. The twist? He's forced to embody a forest troll, one of the most-despised races in Mythos.
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Kids book
- By Kindle Customer on 03-15-22
By: S.L. Rowland
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Vigilante
- By: Michael Anderle, Natalie Grey
- Narrated by: Chris Andrew Ciulla
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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When a mine owner thinks that he's above the law and continues to utilize slave labor to keep his mines running, Barnabas, a former Ranger One, must fight for justice.
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If I could I would give 10 stars..
- By Trish R. on 08-05-21
By: Michael Anderle, and others
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Forever Fantasy Online
- Forever Fantasy Online, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron, Travis Bach
- Narrated by: Josh Hurley
- Length: 19 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the real world, twenty-one-year-old library sciences student Tina Anderson is invisible and under-appreciated, but in the VR-game Forever Fantasy Online she's Roxxy—the respected leader and main tank of a top-tier raiding guild. Her brother, James Anderson, has a similar problem. IRL he’s a college drop-out struggling under debt, but in FFO he's famous—an explorer known all over the world for doing every quest and collecting the rarest items.
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The cover art is great....
- By Johnny Jeppesen on 08-18-18
By: Rachel Aaron, and others
What listeners say about How to Pick Up Women with a Drunk Space Ninja
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jeremy ridley
- 02-15-22
a rollercoaster of excitement and humor.
funny and exciting. overall a great story and a fantastic performance. cant wait to listen to the next in the series.
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- thomas dye
- 08-29-19
not really funny
Bought it on strength of the title and editors blurb which suggested that it would be a comedy; while it did have occational moments, it was juvenile humor.
Three stars. Not a bad book, but felt like an authors first offering. Catch it on sale, don't pay full price.
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- Crystal D.
- 11-01-19
New Favorite Sci-Fi Series
I have a new favorite sci-fi series! This is the right parts adventure and wack-a-doo-ness. I really like the author's wordplay and colorful descriptors. The characters are always front-and-center and the story had me guessing. I mean who doesn't love anthropomorphic musk oxen and magic orbs and whiny priest aliens and ninjas.
On the narration side, it's exceptional. The publishing company did a great job finding the right voice to bring this to life.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Mark M.
- 09-07-20
solid offering for the genre
solid offering for the genre of goofy space adventures. a "meat and potatoes" effott with fairly predictable results. that said I did want to keep listening to find out what happened next. If you know the Damian Stockwell series this is like that, but in space.
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2 people found this helpful
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- King
- 09-27-19
I liked this book a lot
Really fun and exciting adventure. Got it as a free promo code. Highly engaging characters and cool, drawn out, sprawling setting. Loved the main bad guy and wanted more chapters with him.
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2 people found this helpful
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- WL
- 10-15-20
How to Save a Friendship with a Drunk Space Ninja
A friend recommended this book after he found out that I liked Hitch Hikers. But this was his third reco. The first two were not great - Will Save the Galaxy for Food and Ace Tucker. Just boring. This was his third choice and the first one I listened to on audiobook.
It was wonderful. The over the top descriptions and making fun of lame sci fi tropes hooked me. I mean there is a ship called the Deus Ex Machina that is actually a deus ex machina. That’s amazing. I don’t understand some of the reviews that say this is trope-y; I’m assuming it’s supposed to be because the author is making fun of them. Sci-fi COMEDY, remember?
I actually found myself rooting for the main characters (not like the other books). That’s was a nice surprise. I’m not ready to crown him Arthur Dent yet but Duke is fun.
Also, I really liked the diverse characters. It was like the Star Wars cantina in novel form.
Anyways, loved the book. Loved the narrator. And it saved a friendship. Kidding. Not kidding.
5 stars.
On to book #2...
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1 person found this helpful
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- S.
- 11-24-20
Great sci fi adventure!
Great descriptions. Great flow. A solid adventure story. Recommend for all fans of pulp sci fi, adventures in space, space opera, comic sci fi (HHGTTG), and easy, fun reads!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Rick
- 07-23-21
ok
Feels like it was written for more of a teenager It didn't always make sense why is it half the time the people from another world understood is colloquialism realisms and the other half the time they didn't
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- aaron gilbert
- 11-09-22
Fun little romp with almost enough heart.
I just finished this title. The story had potential and the characters are a bit one note but it did keep my attention until a few chapters before the end. That’s when I realized the story just wasn’t going to fill out. I wanted to love this book but in the end I was left let down.
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- Big Ross
- 11-01-19
Bomb-diggity
Got this free when I signed up. Loco bounty hunter sh*t. Crazy story with killa fight scenes. Could be an anime on Netflix or a B-movie on at a drive-in theater. The guy reading it was ok, not my cup of tea, but not turrrible. Will probably check out the next one.
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