BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona Audiobook By Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps cover art

BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

Shopocalypse Saga, Book 1

Preview

Get this deal Try for $0.00
Offer ends January 21, 2025 at 11:59PM ET.
Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

By: Damien Hanson, Joseph Phelps
Narrated by: Wayne Mitchell
Get this deal Try for $0.00

$14.95/mo. after 3 months. Offer ends January 21, 2025 11:59PM ET. Cancel anytime.

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $49.90

Buy for $49.90

Confirm purchase
Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.
Cancel

About this listen

Some predicted that the AI singularity would result in robots destroying the world. None of them ever understood that it was the sales algorithms they had to be afraid of.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised.

But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed.

It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie. Because BuyMort doesn’t care about anything except the bottom line.

Enter Tyson Dawes, a no-cares slacker with a traumatic past, two wrinkled bucks in his wallet, and a crap job caretaking a crap campground in the desert sands of Arizona. He had a deal with the world. He didn’t change it, and it didn’t change him. Seemed simple enough. He liked it, anyway.

BuyMort changed all that the moment it let loose a torrent of alien entrepreneurs upon his planet, intent on selling everything that hadn’t been tagged through the system and classified as his private property.

When a man has little, he cherishes it. When that little is lost, he’ll do whatever it takes and change into whatever he needs to be able to get that little bit back.

©2022 Damien Hanson and Joseph Phelps (P)2023 Podium Audio
Dystopian Fiction Humorous Post-Apocalyptic Science Fiction Funny Witty Comedy

What listeners say about BuyMort: Grand Opening: How I Became the Accidental Warlord of Arizona

Highly rated for:

Unique Premise Engaging Storyline Humorous Elements Intriguing Characters Refreshing Concept
Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    293
  • 4 Stars
    83
  • 3 Stars
    58
  • 2 Stars
    28
  • 1 Stars
    25
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    246
  • 4 Stars
    53
  • 3 Stars
    18
  • 2 Stars
    19
  • 1 Stars
    25
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    226
  • 4 Stars
    69
  • 3 Stars
    32
  • 2 Stars
    16
  • 1 Stars
    18

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

awsome and amazing

it so worth it, I'm glad I spent the credit on it . awsome action and story left me happy.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

surprisingly original

i was expecting a litrpg with vast similarities to the other 20+ litrpg series I've listened to. honestly though. this book was kind of original. less of level grinding and much more character and world building. i approve.

the narrator is also fantastically exuberant.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Just the right mix of comedy and chaos

If you liked Dungeon Crawler Carl, you will enjoy this. Has the same feel as that series

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Unfortunate name GREAT story

Unfortunately the name is a hard sell but the story is refreshing and funny.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Absolutely incredible

this book has expanded my understanding of good literature, I am beside myself.

It's about basebuilding and being a good person. Oh also its fucikin hilarious

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Weird narration choices.

I love this but but some of the voicing decisions here are just so strange. The Hob characters have the absolute stupidest way of speaking. good lord could they have given them a more annoying, difficult to understand way of speaking? I also hate the way people from other planets say "BUYMORT" in that weird way that makes it obvious it's being translated or whatever it was supposed to be. Especially when Mol says it. So damn annoying. Especially because when they start talking about Buymort they are saying it pretty much every other sentence. Really enjoyed the book but not sure if I'll continue with the audiobooks.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

I loved it

I consume a lot of litrpg and this one is definitely something special. The story is both funny and engaging. I can’t wait for the next installment!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Great story and it's funny!

i love everything about the MC and the world. My only issue is the MC liking a snake girl with a tail. It just creeps me out every time the MC thinks about a snake sexually. It's seriously gross. However, this can be overlooked and it is a small bad part of an otherwise great story.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Good World Building and Story Premise

Enjoyed the book although the MC is overly trusting in decision making at times; which after being taken advantage of earlier in life does not seem to mesh comfortably.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Sci-fi yes, LitRPG not so much

The story didn't quite take to me as many others did so this may be biased, but all in all the story was decent. In regards to whether or not this should be classified as a litrpg, I would say no. It does have some elements that align with the genre, but it is limited to an intergalactic "system" that is really just an overhyped and extra annoying piece of adware installed in your head. The only stat you really have, so far at least, is your bank account; there are no ability scores, skills, levels, magic, cultivation, traits/titles, or any other metric that could be used to measure some level of growth/progression. The story doesn't technically advertise itself as litrpg so this may be unfair, but given where the recommendation came from it did feel lackluster.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!