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I Suck at Girls

By: Justin Halpern
Narrated by: Sean Schemmel
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Publisher's summary

Audie Award Nominee, Humor, 2013

"Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a shitload scarier."

Fans of the number-one best seller Sh*t My Dad Says will recognize the always patient voice of Justin Halpern's dad as it crackles through this hysterical new audiobook. The story begins when Justin announces that he's decided to propose to his girlfriend. "You've been dating her for four years," his dad replies. "It ain't like you found a parallel f**king universe."

But eventually he gives Justin some advice: that he should think back over everything he's learned in life about women, relationships, and himself before making his decision. And that's just what Justin does—revisiting everything from his disastrous childhood crushes to the night he finally lost his virginity while working as a dishwasher at Hooters.

Full of his dad's patented brand of wisdom, it's also full of new characters just as funny—from his brother, who provides insights into wedding night rituals, to his first boss, who warns Justin to man up: "That's what a man does. He takes his shots and then he scrubs the shit out of some dishes." The result is a pilgrim's progress through the landscape of sex and love—by one of the funniest writers at work today.

©2012 Justin Halpern (P)2012 HarperCollinsPublishers
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What listeners say about I Suck at Girls

Average customer ratings
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  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

A decent follow up

What did you like best about I Suck at Girls? What did you like least?

The performance is great. Love the "voice" of Dad.

Could you see I Suck at Girls being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

no

Any additional comments?

The first book was great. While this one had some laugh out loud moments it wasn't quite as good. Nevertheless glad I "read" it.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Not as good as the first

What did you like best about I Suck at Girls? What did you like least?

I Suck at Girls had great moments but it wasn't the laugh out loud, side hurting entertainment that the first book was. I thought the narration was perfect.

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

No.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Funny

It was most funny when his dad spoke, the story itself was alright, in my opinion.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing

Found myself laughing out loud listening to this book. A story that attracts the attention. Loved it

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

The Dad is side-splitting funny

This book is hysterically funny for the first half and just plain funny in the second half. The father's advice is uproarious and the counter point of the mother just can't be topped. I was on a crowded Amtrak train coming back from NYC and I was laughing so hard, I thought the conductor was going to put me off midway. This book is really about the travails of the author finding and figuring out whether he should or should not propose to his girlfriend.

This book is going to appeal far more to men than to woman. It isn't that the book is sexist, it's because it written from a very male point of view. Think sophomoric humor. If you like that type of humor and gutter language, you'll be fine.

For me, I found it funny. If you liked his first book and the TV show, you'll like his second. Thumbs up.

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12 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Funny but nowhere like the the first book.

Any additional comments?

Wanted more of his dad in the book. If was funny, but not want I was expecting.

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6 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book

Funny book i would suggest this book to anyone anyone who likes a good comedy should read it

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

I thought not, not again anyway

I just knew the author couldn't compare to his first novel, Shit My Dad Says. To write another book with similar subject matter as his first book had to be a bad idea like the terrible sequel movie attempt to a wonderful I've time great film. Was I ever wrong, it was a perfect follow-up if not perfect all by itself! I was laughing so hard at one point during the bathroom incident while his future wife stood guard I couldn't drive from the tears in my eyes and pain in my side. Another homerun from Justin and his father. I wish he could've been my father too.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Sooo funny

I loved this book!!!! It could have been my Father he was talking about. My father was cut and dried, to the point, cussed constantly even when we 4 were tots. I've grown to be the same way. The narrator was perfect!!!

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Okay "sequel" to SMDS

I thoroughly enjoyed Halpern's first book as well as Sean Schemmel's performance. Of course, Halpern's infamous father appears in this book as well, but now in much much more of a supporting role to the narrator.

Schemmel still does a pretty good job of bringing life to the stories, though I do remember him making every female character sound like a stereotypical "dumb girl." Though, maybe those are the only kinds of girls Halpern has any real interaction with? Eh.

I found myself not being able to keep my attention during a lot of the anecdotes, which I found to be filled with "more of the same". And I don't even mean the same stuff from Halpern's first book. No, no, but more of the same in terms of vaguely entertaining stories of Halpern hooking up with hot co-workers who inexplicably dump him and all seem to disappear. Watching a teen movie will deliver the same punch-lines, but Halpern's book at least is a little bit more mature. I suppose the title is pretty damn accurate, so in that case... it delivers!

it's a nice light read if you want to chuckle inside, a little bit, and get a self esteem boost if you're feeling like you too have troubles with the opposite sex. But, don't get the wrong impression, Halpern gets plenty. Though, the book only gets 3.

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1 person found this helpful