If We Break
A Memoir of Marriage, Addiction, and Healing
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Narrated by:
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Kathleen Buhle
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By:
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Kathleen Buhle
About this listen
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • Kathleen Buhle shares her story of resilience and self-discovery after her marriage to Hunter Biden unraveled in the wake of substance abuse and infidelity in this “dignified and revealing” (People) memoir.
“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment.”—Connie Britton
This is not a story about good versus evil. Or who was right. Or who was better. For decades, Kathleen Buhle chose to play the role of the good wife, beginning when, as a naïve young woman from a working-class family on the South Side of Chicago, she met the dashing son of a senator at the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Oregon. Within months of falling in love, Kathleen found herself pregnant and engaged, living a life beyond anything she’d ever known.
Determined to build her family on a foundation of love, Kathleen was convinced her and Hunter’s commitment to each other could overcome any obstacle. But when Hunter’s drinking evolved into dependency, she was forced to learn how rapidly and irrevocably a marriage can fall apart under the merciless power of addiction. When the lies became insurmountable, Kathleen was forced to reckon with the compromises she had made to try to save her marriage. She wondered if she could survive on her own.
The result is a memoir that is gripping and heart-breaking. Here Kathleen asks why she kept so much hidden—from her daughters and herself—for so many years, why she became dependent on one man, and why she was more faithful to a vow of secrecy than to her own truth. This inspiring chronicle of radical honesty and self-actualization speaks to women who have lost part of their identity and want to reclaim it.
©2022 Random House (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Kathleen Buhle’s brave and honest story transcends politics, division, hearsay, and judgment. It is a story of love and learning, of the crushing blow of co-dependency and addiction, and ultimately of Buhle’s journey back to herself.”—Connie Britton
“From the safe harbor of a healing aftermath, Kathleen Buhle tells of the grievous toll that addiction took not just on her husband but also on her marriage and her family. She writes with warmth and kindness and without bitterness. As someone who has experienced firsthand the devastating hold of addiction, I find her account clear-eyed, painful, heartfelt, funny, and, best of all, hopeful.”—Leslie Jordan, author of How Y’all Doing?: Misadventures and Mischief from a Life Well Lived
“It isn’t easy to write a book about marriage that acknowledges what hard work it is to love another person and, also, oneself. In If We Break, Kathleen Buhle has done just that. The result is a harrowing tale of innocence and self-discovery, truth-telling and resilience. I couldn’t put it down.”—Kim Brooks, author of Small Animals: Parenthood in the Age of Fear
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When unexpected grief brings two families together, how do they start their journey to healing? Join Michael and Gina Spehn--bestselling authors and founders of the New Day Foundation--as they tell their story of resilience, remembrance, and reliance on their shared faith.
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Wow
- By Katrina on 04-24-15
By: Michael Spehn
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Can't Forgive
- My 20-Year Battle with O.J. Simpson
- By: Kim Goldman
- Narrated by: Kim Goldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kim Goldman was just 22, her older brother, Ron, was brutally killed by O. J. Simpson. Ron and Kim were very close, and her devastation was compounded by the shocking not guilty verdict that allowed a smirking Simpson to leave as a free man.
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Selfish
- By B. A. C. on 04-08-16
By: Kim Goldman
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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Modern Loss
- Candid Conversation About Grief. Beginners Welcome.
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At a time when we mourn public figures and national tragedies with hashtags, where intimate posts about loss go viral and we receive automated birthday reminders for dead friends, it's clear we are navigating new terrain without a road map. Let's face it: Most of us have always had a difficult time talking about death and sharing our grief. We're awkward and uncertain; we avoid, ignore, or even deny feelings of sadness; we offer platitudes; we send sympathy bouquets whittled out of fruit.
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Not What I Was Expecting
- By Bessie Mae on 03-01-23
By: Rebecca Soffer, and others
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Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin
- A Memoir
- By: Nicole Hardy
- Narrated by: Nicole Hardy
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
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When Nicole Hardy’s eye-opening "Modern Love" column appeared in the New York Times, the response from readers was overwhelming. Hardy’s essay, which exposed the conflict between being true to herself as a woman and remaining true to her Mormon faith, struck a chord with women coast-to-coast. Now in her funny, intimate, and thoughtful memoir, Nicole Hardy explores how she came, at the age of 35, to a crossroads regarding her faith and her identity.
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This Book Spoke to Me
- By Allison on 04-08-14
By: Nicole Hardy
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Bloom
- Finding Beauty in the Unexpected - A Memoir
- By: Kelle Hampton
- Narrated by: Kelle Hampton
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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When Kelle Hampton's new daughter was placed in her arms in the delivery room, she knew instantly that something was wrong. As her friends and family celebrated, a terrified Kelle was certain that Nella had Down syndrome - a fear her pediatrician soon confirmed. Yet gradually Kelle embraced the realization that she had been chosen to experience an extraordinary and special gift. With lyrical prose and gorgeous photography, Bloom takes listeners on a wondrous journey through Nella's first year of life.
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Beautiful Story
- By Janelle on 03-10-24
By: Kelle Hampton
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Inconceivable
- A Medical Mistake, the Baby We Couldn't Keep, and Our Choice to Deliver the Ultimate Gift
- By: Carolyn Savage, Sean Savage
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Danny Campbell
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A medical mistake during an IVF procedure.An unthinkable situation....you're pregnant with the wrong baby. You can terminate, but you can't keep him. What choice would you make?
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"Misconception" and "Inconceivable"
- By Simone on 12-17-12
By: Carolyn Savage, and others
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After the Eclipse
- A Mother's Murder, a Daughter's Search
- By: Sarah Perry
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
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A fierce memoir of a mother's murder, a daughter's coming-of-age in the wake of immense loss, and her ultimate mission to know the woman who gave her life.
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True crime memoir
- By Julie on 11-03-17
By: Sarah Perry
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Confessions of a Video Vixen
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Confessions of a Video Vixen is the widely anticipated memoir of Karrine Steffans, the once-sought-after sexy siren who appeared in the music videos of multiplatinum hip hop artists such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly, and LL Cool J. A top-paid video dancer, Karrine transitioned to film when acclaimed director F. Gary Gray picked her to costar in his film A Man Apart, starring Vin Diesel.
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It ishard to stop listening to this one
- By Lito Da Critic on 07-11-05
By: Karrine Steffans
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I Said Yes
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- By: Emily Maynard Johnson
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
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Millions know Emily Maynard Johnson from her unprecedented double appearances on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Millions also know that neither of the relationships from those shows lasted much longer than a commercial break. Overcome with embarrassment following her nationally televised failures at romance, Emily finally committed her heart to the only one she knew would never leave her empty and alone. Abandoning her desire to be chosen by men and finding peace in the fact that she was already chosen by God, Emily found the joy she had been looking for in serving God.
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Interesting read for bachelor/bachelorette fans
- By Melanie on 03-31-16
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Believing in Magic
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- By: Cookie Johnson, Denene Millner
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
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On November 7, 1991, basketball legend Magic Johnson stunned the world with the news that he was HIV-positive. For the millions who tuned in as he shared his news, Magic's revelation became a seminal moment for the nation. Now twenty-five years later, Cookie Johnson shares her story and the emotional journey that started on that day - from life as a pregnant and joyous newlywed to one filled with the fear that her husband would die, she and her baby would, too, be infected with the virus.
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Not the inspiration story
- By M. Mao on 07-06-17
By: Cookie Johnson, and others
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Saints for All Occasions
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- By: J. Courtney Sullivan
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Nora and Theresa Flynn are 21 and 17 when they leave their small village in Ireland and journey to America. Nora is the responsible sister; she's shy and serious and engaged to a man she isn't sure that she loves. Theresa is gregarious; she is thrilled by their new life in Boston and besotted with the fashionable dresses and dance halls on Dudley Street. But when Theresa ends up pregnant, Nora is forced to come up with a plan - a decision with repercussions they are both far too young to understand.
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The narration ruined it
- By Janis Reynolds on 06-12-17
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What listeners say about If We Break
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Power Shopper
- 06-20-22
Extraordinary
I am in awe of Kathleen's raw narrative and how beautifully she captured her marriage and her life. It is an extraordinary story of a lovely woman married to an extreme narcissistic. I found myself judging: "but Kathleen" I would say to myself. And that is the power of her narrative. Her's are not my shoes; its not my life. She gave me a fascinating few hours filled with poignant moments and laughter too. What I most appreciated most was Kathleen's love of family and love of life. Although we have very little in common, I admired her candor, raw bravery and her commitment to her family. Thank you Kathleen.
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3 people found this helpful
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- T
- 06-24-22
Authentically Beautiful
I wanted to know the conclusion of every chapter. This human experience is well told, deeply moving and inspiring.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Charles Friel
- 07-18-22
Tough Love
This was a heart rendering story about what so many people experience from addiction. It is easy to judge individuals and be so wrong about your judgment when you’ve never walked in their shoes. I feel sorry for Kathleen, but she should’ve walked away from her marriage to Hunter long before she did. Joe Biden should also accept some of the blame for his sons predicaments in life. It appears, to me, he never stepped in with that tough love when it was needed and appears he never will
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- robin wiseman
- 06-24-22
If We Break
Kathleen Buhle’s story is powerful on so many levels. I am thankful she had the courage to be so transparent. Riveting from start to finish.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nicholas Droste
- 07-09-24
Amazing memoir
This was such a good book! I never knew much about their marriage or him. Just the bad guy image painted by the media. But this book gives such an honest account of Kathleen's life as a Biden and the type of wife she had to be to him. My heart absolutely broke for her at times, was (and still is) furious at members of the Biden family for the way they treated this woman and then was elated to hear that she made it out ok. Hunter Biden was and is a horrible person. But that's not what she wanted the reader to deduce from her story. She wanted us to see the side of him that she knew and unconditionally loved for so long. She didn't want us to denounce Joe Biden and his family for supporting him and not her. She just wanted to tell her story and for us to feel how genuine it really was. I have so much respect and admiration for this woman. And I sincerely hope that she lives in pure peace and happiness for the rest of her life. She truly deserves it!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-28-22
Transparent and relatable
In listening to Kathleen’s self discovery I believe there are things I discovered about myself. Really enjoyed learning about her journey.
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- MAUREEN O'MALLEY
- 07-08-22
Great read
Enjoyed reading this story. Spoken from the heart. Kathleen is courageous and her girls have quite a role model. Life is not easy but keep moving forward.
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- Nmoore
- 08-01-22
So Powerful
I was just looking through books, had no idea who the author was, what a great find. This book was very insightful and eye-opening. Enjoyed every word.
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- Kristin V. Johnson
- 01-31-23
A Remarkable Woman
All the words I would use to describe this book have already been used by so many others. For many of us, it's a case of "been there, done that". Kathleen, thank you for sharing your story and blessings for your life.
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- Tiffany Hartranft
- 10-15-22
Fantastic book!
This book was fantastic! It was written beautifully, I couldn’t put it down once I started it. Kathleen is such a strong woman, who has been through a lot and still overcomes it all. Very moving and powerful story. I loved it!!
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