I’m Glad You’re Dead
Preternatural Chronicles, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Luke Daniels
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By:
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Hunter Blain
About this listen
My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.
You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full.
And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.
Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents’ murderers - some day.
Except, my first chance at vengeance took about 500 years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul - and my already dark sense of humor - beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes, a Roman Catholic priest, in present-day Houston.
Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman - except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces.
Biteman and Pope’n.
We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected.
By ex-sanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways and having a grand ol’ time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...
But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the apocalypse and that the archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure the dude abides by the terms of his contract.
I guess I need a lawyer.
Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you’re not laughing, you’re learning.
©2019 Hunter Blain (P)2019 Hunter BlainListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Jonathan Waters
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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When the dice are loaded, the claws come out. Rudy and Thomas have landed in Sin City, but not on all four paws. The Talking Animal Union is determined to trip up the Freelance Familiars and entangle Thomas in a game where Death holds all the cards. But Thomas can’t focus merely on saving himself. A vampire stalks the refugees of Grantsville, and to save his friends - and his own neck - Thomas has to put more than just himself on the line. The odds are raw and bloody in Vegas.
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Enjoyable series so far
- By Ross on 01-10-21
By: Daniel Potter
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The Bar at the End of the World
- The Watchers, Book 1
- By: Tom Abrahams
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
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Zeke is a bad guy. He didn’t choose to be. It’s just who he is. It’s who he has to be to survive in a post-apocalyptic world where trust is as scarce as water. He's got nobody. No family. No friends. And he left behind the woman he loved for her own good. But it's time to change. After a brush with death far out in the wasteland, he decides he's done risking his life to help his greedy bosses control who gets to drink water and when. Now, he's stranded in a bar in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by the perfect kind of ruffians who can help him go back and make things right.
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Meh story, great narrator.
- By ILikePizza on 04-30-20
By: Tom Abrahams
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Black Dog Blues
- The Kai Gracen Series, Book 1
- By: Rhys Ford
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
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Ever since being part of the pot in a high-stakes poker game, elfin outcast Kai Gracen figures he used up his good karma when Dempsey, a human Stalker, won the hand and took him in. Following the violent merge of Earth and Underhill, the human and elfin races are left with a messy, monster-ridden world, and Stalkers are the only cavalry willing to ride to someone's rescue when something shadowy appears.
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Not the story for me.
- By Heather K (Dentist in my Spare Time) on 06-08-15
By: Rhys Ford
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Dawn of Chaos
- Age of Madness - A Kurtherian Gambit Series
- By: Daniel Willcocks, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
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Performance
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Story
Caitlin finally gets the chance to explore what's outside of the walls of the town she's been trapped in and finds vampires, werewolves, and zombie-like creatures.
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disappointed
- By me.. on 01-10-23
By: Daniel Willcocks, and others
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The Scarlet Dragon Saga, Books 1-3
- An Urban Fantasy Adventure
- By: J.P. Rice
- Narrated by: Liz Brand
- Length: 19 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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The slumbering dragon has awakened. Ten years ago in a demonic underworld, my enemies almost killed me. With the help of a disguised demon serving his own agenda, I survived. Barely...After a decade off the supernatural grid, I needed to sip from Goibniu's Chalice of Agelessness to restore my eternal youth. What started as a quick trip changed dramatically when Goibniu uttered those two magic words...Retirement was fun while it lasted.
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Good Series
- By Daniel Delgado on 04-23-20
By: J.P. Rice
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Widow Town
- By: Joe Hart
- Narrated by: Jay Snyder
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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A breakthrough research project has detected an active gene present in all known psychopaths and developed a vaccine to make it completely dormant. Society has rejoiced the extinction of the sociopathic mind. There hasn’t been a serial killing in America in over 40 years. Sheriff MacArthur Gray resides in the future but lives in the past. His world views have chased him from a large metropolis to his home town, but there is no sanctuary to be found after he arrives. Because people are dying and only he can see the truth. A psychopath has somehow survived and is thriving.
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widow Town
- By Michelle on 07-25-19
By: Joe Hart
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For Amber Farrell, post-military life as a PI has its ups and downs: She's been hit by a truck. She's being sued by a client. Denver's newest drug lord just put out a contract on her. The sinister Athanate want her to come in for a friendly chat. And it's only Tuesday. Enter Jennifer Kingslund: rich, gorgeous - a tough businesswoman who's known for getting what she wants in the boardroom and the bedroom.
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A sexy and sophisticated Standout!
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Wild Hunt
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This set contains all 6 of the Wild Hunt books. Each of them is a steamy new adult fantasy romance featuring a different couple with their own happily ever after.
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I enjoy almost all Lola’s books
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What listeners say about I’m Glad You’re Dead
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- richard henney
- 06-26-20
warning do not eat while listening to this book
This book is amazing,funny and beyond entertaining. Half way through book 1 I went and bought the rest of Hunters book.
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5 people found this helpful
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- chris
- 01-26-22
6 STARS
MC is a vampire who fights for good. MC has cool magical powers, that are more than most vampire types have, but are still in line with a vampire: NO SPLOILERS.
Setting: our modern world, but with daemons, vamps, etc.
LOTS of action & smart assz comedy. Fast paced story, but it also has depth. GREAT performance, with MANY different voices / accents.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Bennah
- 03-13-20
Vampire Deadpool
This was a fun story that grabbed my attention right away. There were some very laugh out loud moments as well as some "get ya in the feels". Going to look for hook 2 now
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1 person found this helpful
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- J.Guys
- 02-04-22
This book is for all Vampire Nerds!! It’s Solid Gold!!
Spectacular!!! A fun new look at The Vampire Nerd!! Luke Daniels brought these characters to life in the best way possible!! I’ll be spending time with the funny and sarcastic “Jon” as I devour this series. This is the Male Version of Betsy the Vampire Queen in all the best ways!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Surgecj7
- 01-03-21
Refreshing
I loved this book and am hooked. The “wit” of John gets a little much at times, but I can look past that. It was refreshing to read a book with almost as much foul language that I use on a daily basis. Lol!!! I can’t wait to delve further I to this new universe I have stumbled across!!!
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- ken
- 10-05-23
gave it a shot
so glad I did.....absolutely one of the funniest books I have listened to yet.....one to the next one in the series
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- Robin
- 09-08-24
Great read
Very entertaining, it's like a Deadpool movie, a lot of irrelevant humor and interesting storyline
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- spicyringlets
- 10-08-20
Entertaining and Exciting
This book was fun with its sarcastic and sometimes spastic main character. Even in the most serious moments, he added a little humor. There was plenty of excitement and intrigue to keep me interested the whole time.
The narrator did a perfect job! I usually gravitate toward female main characters and stories with a little romance, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I'm interested to see what happens next!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Ryan
- 03-02-21
Luke Daniels’ Best Work
I’ve always been impressed with Mr. Daniels voice talent. But here we get the full range across the spectrum. If you’re a Luke fan, sink your fangs in and indulge your self on this sweet sexy morsel.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ron
- 06-11-20
Not your Sparkly Vampire
This is a fun light hearted series set in a world where all kinds of supernatural creatures exist. If you like Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles then I would say this is must read. This series has lots similarities in that the characters are sassy and full of life. Plus it has Luke Daniels who has quickly become one of my favorite narrators on audible. So far there are 4 books and 2 novellas in the PRETERNATURAL CHRONICLES series.
Book 0.5 DELIVERANCE
Book 1 I’M GLAD YOU’RE DEAD
Book 2 DAWN AND QUARTERED
Book 3 SHADOW OF A DOUBT
Book 3.5. MOONLIGHT EQUILIBRIUM
Book 4. MOUTH OF MADNESS
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1 person found this helpful