Preview
  • I’m Glad You’re Dead

  • Preternatural Chronicles, Book 1
  • By: Hunter Blain
  • Narrated by: Luke Daniels
  • Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (811 ratings)

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I’m Glad You’re Dead

By: Hunter Blain
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
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Publisher's summary

My name is John Cook, and my life began the day my heart stopped beating.

You meet the most interesting men in medieval prisons. This one time, I met a guy who offered me immortality for the low, low price of changing my diet. I didn’t read the fine print. Because, he wasn’t talking about a gluten-free diet. More like hemoglobin-full.

And now, I’m a friggin’ vampire with five centuries of pop culture references.

Granted, at the time, I was listening to the dying screams of my mother and father being burned and eviscerated alive just outside the rusty bars of the prison cell, and my new best friend was offering me my only real chance at saving my own life and avenging my parents’ murderers - some day.

Except, my first chance at vengeance took about 500 years, and I had to wade through oceans of sin and violence, blackening my soul - and my already dark sense of humor - beyond redemption until I met Father Thomes, a Roman Catholic priest, in present-day Houston.

Papa Thomes taught me how to use my dark curse to fight for the good guys. Like Alfred and Robin did for Batman - except we straight up murder Jokers and Two-Faces.

Biteman and Pope’n.

We stand up for the downtrodden, the forgotten, and the neglected.

By ex-sanguinating the wicked in horrific, truly imaginative ways and having a grand ol’ time doing it. You know what they say about doing what you love...

But our party is soon cut short when we learn the End of Days is just around the corner, and that the fine print of my contract might have hidden a few other tidbits. Like the fact that I was central to kicking off the apocalypse and that the archdemons will stop at nothing to make sure the dude abides by the terms of his contract.

I guess I need a lawyer.

Get ready to laugh at extreme violence. I know I will. If you’re not laughing, you’re learning.

©2019 Hunter Blain (P)2019 Hunter Blain
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What listeners say about I’m Glad You’re Dead

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warning do not eat while listening to this book

This book is amazing,funny and beyond entertaining. Half way through book 1 I went and bought the rest of Hunters book.

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5 people found this helpful

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6 STARS

MC is a vampire who fights for good. MC has cool magical powers, that are more than most vampire types have, but are still in line with a vampire: NO SPLOILERS.

Setting: our modern world, but with daemons, vamps, etc.
LOTS of action & smart assz comedy. Fast paced story, but it also has depth. GREAT performance, with MANY different voices / accents.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Vampire Deadpool

This was a fun story that grabbed my attention right away. There were some very laugh out loud moments as well as some "get ya in the feels". Going to look for hook 2 now

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This book is for all Vampire Nerds!! It’s Solid Gold!!

Spectacular!!! A fun new look at The Vampire Nerd!! Luke Daniels brought these characters to life in the best way possible!! I’ll be spending time with the funny and sarcastic “Jon” as I devour this series. This is the Male Version of Betsy the Vampire Queen in all the best ways!!

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Refreshing

I loved this book and am hooked. The “wit” of John gets a little much at times, but I can look past that. It was refreshing to read a book with almost as much foul language that I use on a daily basis. Lol!!! I can’t wait to delve further I to this new universe I have stumbled across!!!

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gave it a shot

so glad I did.....absolutely one of the funniest books I have listened to yet.....one to the next one in the series

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Great read

Very entertaining, it's like a Deadpool movie, a lot of irrelevant humor and interesting storyline

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Entertaining and Exciting

This book was fun with its sarcastic and sometimes spastic main character. Even in the most serious moments, he added a little humor. There was plenty of excitement and intrigue to keep me interested the whole time.

The narrator did a perfect job! I usually gravitate toward female main characters and stories with a little romance, but I thoroughly enjoyed this book! I'm interested to see what happens next!

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Luke Daniels’ Best Work

I’ve always been impressed with Mr. Daniels voice talent. But here we get the full range across the spectrum. If you’re a Luke fan, sink your fangs in and indulge your self on this sweet sexy morsel.

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1 person found this helpful

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Not your Sparkly Vampire

This is a fun light hearted series set in a world where all kinds of supernatural creatures exist. If you like Kevin Hearne’s Iron Druid Chronicles then I would say this is must read. This series has lots similarities in that the characters are sassy and full of life. Plus it has Luke Daniels who has quickly become one of my favorite narrators on audible. So far there are 4 books and 2 novellas in the PRETERNATURAL CHRONICLES series.

Book 0.5 DELIVERANCE
Book 1 I’M GLAD YOU’RE DEAD
Book 2 DAWN AND QUARTERED
Book 3 SHADOW OF A DOUBT
Book 3.5. MOONLIGHT EQUILIBRIUM
Book 4. MOUTH OF MADNESS

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