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Leaving the OCD Circus

By: Kirsten Pagacz
Narrated by: Emily Sutton-Smith, Greg Tremblay
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Publisher's summary

"It's like the meanest, wildest monkey running around my head, constantly looking for ways to bite me." That was how Kirsten Pagacz described her OCD to her therapist on their first session when she was well into her 30s - she'd been following orders from this mean taskmaster for 20 years, without understanding why. Initially the tapping and counting and cleaning and ordering brought her comfort and structure, two things lacking in her family life. But it never lasted; the loathsome self-talk only intensified, and the rituals she had to perform got more bizarre. By high school she was anorexic and a substance abuser - common "shadow syndromes" of OCD. By adulthood she could barely hide her problems and held on to jobs and friends through sheer grit. Help finally came in the form of a miraculously well-timed public service announcement on NPR about OCD. At last her illness had an identity.

Leaving the OCD Circus reveals the story of Pagacz's traumatic childhood and the escalation of her disorder, demonstrating how OCD works to misshape a life from a very young age. It also explains the various tools she used for healing, including meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, exposure therapy, and medication.

©2016 Kirsten Pagacz (P)2017 Vibrance Press
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What listeners say about Leaving the OCD Circus

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Great book!

I found myself taking notes halfway through the book because she made some great points/suggestions. Great read for anyone suffering from OCD.

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If you or someone you know has OCD then READ THIS BOOK

I absolutely love this book, it made me feel less alone and the author’s voice is very authentic and honest. It takes courage to tell others how you’re feeling and the book does exactly that. You are basically reading from the perspective of someone else... looking through someone’s eyes into their life. If you, or anyone you know, has OCD, then I highly recommend this book to you. It gives great insight to how it feels to grow up with OCD and the daily struggles. It can put you in someone else’s OCD shoes and you can begin to really appreciate what people with OCD actually have to go through... the torture, it’s mortifying. I have OCD and I hate it so freaking much. But anyway, like I said, I feel this book does a really good job with informing others on what it’s like to live with this debilitating illness.

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3 people found this helpful

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Great read

This book really helped me learn about ERP and identifying my OCD. Thank you so much for this

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1 person found this helpful

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Interesting and very helpful for understanding OCD

I am extremely thankful to stumbled upon this book in a small metaphysical bookstore while I was there looking for rocks and crystals. My six year old daughter was really struggling with what I had just learned was OCD. I thought I knew what ocd was, needing things in order and perfect, so I couldn’t understand how my daughter’s irrational worries and extreme fears were OCD. This book caught my attention for the wrong reasons - lots of red, which is my least favorite color, and the big top which was a place I didn’t want to be, at the circus watching animals suffer. But then I noticed the letters OCD and I picked it up off the shelf and it was a game changer. This book helped me understand what was happening with my daughter perfectly. I found it to be a real page turner as each page helped me more and more. I recommend it to everyone who mentions a family member having ocd or maybe they are having symptoms. I’ve bought several copies because I give them away. I just listened to it for a second read and caught all kinds of good stuff I wasn’t ready to understand the first time I read it.

If you have a loved one with OCD, I highly recommend listening to this. It will help you understand what is happening inside for them. You’ll see ways that you can help them and realize ways you are enabling them and making their ocd stronger, so you can course correct. The author does it all with kindness by bravely sharing her own story so others won’t have to suffer.

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