Leaving the OCD Circus
Your Best Ticket out of Having to Control Every Little Thing
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Narrated by:
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Emily Sutton-Smith
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Greg Tremblay
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By:
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Kirsten Pagacz
About this listen
"It's like the meanest, wildest monkey running around my head, constantly looking for ways to bite me." That was how Kirsten Pagacz described her OCD to her therapist on their first session when she was well into her 30s - she'd been following orders from this mean taskmaster for 20 years, without understanding why. Initially the tapping and counting and cleaning and ordering brought her comfort and structure, two things lacking in her family life. But it never lasted; the loathsome self-talk only intensified, and the rituals she had to perform got more bizarre. By high school she was anorexic and a substance abuser - common "shadow syndromes" of OCD. By adulthood she could barely hide her problems and held on to jobs and friends through sheer grit. Help finally came in the form of a miraculously well-timed public service announcement on NPR about OCD. At last her illness had an identity.
Leaving the OCD Circus reveals the story of Pagacz's traumatic childhood and the escalation of her disorder, demonstrating how OCD works to misshape a life from a very young age. It also explains the various tools she used for healing, including meditation, cognitive behavioral therapy, yoga, exposure therapy, and medication.
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Social media star and author CA Miljavac believes with all her heart that laughter is a gift, providing a sliver of distraction from life's struggles...relief when you need rescuing...hope in the midst of hardship. Though her life has been dotted with disaster, it's through laughter that she found the strength and courage to persevere...joy for the journey. And she'll help women of all ages discover the ways laughter can carry them through their very own painful situations.
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Amazing
- By Christine Eichenauer on 08-17-20
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Funny How It Works Out
- By: Manon Mathews
- Narrated by: Manon Mathews
- Length: 6 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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For comedian and content creator Manon Mathews, comedy is life. But it took more than luck for her hilarious antics on Vine to open the door to her career. It took years of routinely embarrassing herself, improv classes, some stints as an amateur stand-up comic, unrelenting dedication, and one life-altering night out that forced her to change her ways. This set her on the path to manifesting her dream life.
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Excellent book!
- By cinematicashley on 11-18-20
By: Manon Mathews
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Jay's Journal
- By: Anonymous, Dr. Beatice Sparks - Edited by
- Narrated by: Ramon De Ocampo
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Jay was a sweet, bright high school student who cared about his grades and his friends. He had ambitions. He was happy. And he thought he could handle anything. He was wrong. When Jay falls in with a crowd that's dabbling in drugs and the occult, he finds himself in over his head and doing things he never thought possible.
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Not a Real Story!
- By L.J. on 10-18-22
By: Anonymous, and others
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The Warrior Code
- 11 Principles to Unleash the Badass Inside of You
- By: Tee Marie Hanible
- Narrated by: Tee Marie Hanible
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Warrior Code, entrepreneur, philanthropist, reality star, and retired gunnery sergeant Tee Marie Hanible serves up 11 principles to awaken your inner badass and thrive in the face of adversity. With insightful honesty and wisdom and set against the backdrop of Tee’s life, The Warrior Code will help you understand that things can beat us back from realizing our true potential...but the key is finding the way to realize one’s own innate strength.
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Your mother wears combat boots
- By Juanita L. Jones on 04-04-20
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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Scars and Stilettos - 2nd Edition
- By: Harmony Dust
- Narrated by: Harmony Dust
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Scars and Stilettos: At 13, after being abandoned by her mother one summer and left to take care of her younger brother, Harmony becomes susceptible to a relationship that turns out to be toxic, abusive, and ultimately exploitative. She eventually finds herself working in a strip club at the age of 19, and her boyfriend becomes her pimp, controlling her every move and taking all of her money. Ultimately, she discovers a path to freedom and a whole new life.
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A religious book
- By Amazonbuyer on 10-12-21
By: Harmony Dust
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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Game Changer
- By: Neal Shusterman
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Jennifer Jill Araya
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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An explosive new novel by the author of the National Book Award-winning Challenger Deep and the New York Times best-selling Arc of a Scythe series, about the limited ways we see our world - and how a jolt out of the ordinary can upend the universe.
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mind expanding questions are asked and explored.
- By Klokfixr on 02-11-21
By: Neal Shusterman
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Fear Less
- Living Beyond Fear, Anxiety, Anger, and Addiction
- By: Dean Sluyter
- Narrated by: Dean Sluyter
- Length: 10 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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These days there's so much fear in the air, you can almost taste it - along with all the varieties of anxiety, anger, and addiction that grow out of it. How can you navigate your way through the fear and confusion, and find your way to peace? In Fear Less, acclaimed teacher and award-winning author Dean Sluyter shows how to use simple meditative techniques and subtle tweaks of body, mind, and breath to open your life to deep, relaxed confidence.
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Omfg this is so good!
- By Sergio on 05-10-18
By: Dean Sluyter
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We Are the Luckiest
- The Surprising Magic of a Sober Life
- By: Laura McKowen
- Narrated by: Laura McKowen
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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What could possibly be “lucky” about addiction? Absolutely nothing, thought Laura McKowen when drinking brought her to her knees. As she puts it, she “kicked and screamed . . . wishing for something - anything - else” to be her issue. The people who got to drink normally, she thought, were so damn lucky. But in the midst of early sobriety, when no longer able to anesthetize her pain and anxiety, she realized that she was actually the lucky one. Lucky to feel her feelings, live honestly, really be with her daughter, change her legacy.
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Influencer Recovery, Part One
- By Keith Keller on 01-31-20
By: Laura McKowen
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Little Matches
- A Memoir of Finding Light in the Dark
- By: Maryanne O'Hara
- Narrated by: Maryanne O'Hara
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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When their only child was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis (CF) at the age of two, Maryanne O'Hara and her husband were told that Caitlin could live a long life or be dead in a matter of months. Thirty-one years later, Caitlin lost her battle with this devastating disease following an excruciating two-year wait on the transplant list and a last-minute race to locate a pair of healthy lungs. The sudden spiral of events left Maryanne in an existential crisis, searching to find an answer to the eternal question: Why we are here?
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I don't know who needs to read it...
- By H. Hill on 04-18-23
By: Maryanne O'Hara
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
What listeners say about Leaving the OCD Circus
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Melissa
- 09-14-22
Great book!
I found myself taking notes halfway through the book because she made some great points/suggestions. Great read for anyone suffering from OCD.
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-27-18
If you or someone you know has OCD then READ THIS BOOK
I absolutely love this book, it made me feel less alone and the author’s voice is very authentic and honest. It takes courage to tell others how you’re feeling and the book does exactly that. You are basically reading from the perspective of someone else... looking through someone’s eyes into their life. If you, or anyone you know, has OCD, then I highly recommend this book to you. It gives great insight to how it feels to grow up with OCD and the daily struggles. It can put you in someone else’s OCD shoes and you can begin to really appreciate what people with OCD actually have to go through... the torture, it’s mortifying. I have OCD and I hate it so freaking much. But anyway, like I said, I feel this book does a really good job with informing others on what it’s like to live with this debilitating illness.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Andrew
- 08-04-19
Great read
This book really helped me learn about ERP and identifying my OCD. Thank you so much for this
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julie A Rees
- 09-14-24
Interesting and very helpful for understanding OCD
I am extremely thankful to stumbled upon this book in a small metaphysical bookstore while I was there looking for rocks and crystals. My six year old daughter was really struggling with what I had just learned was OCD. I thought I knew what ocd was, needing things in order and perfect, so I couldn’t understand how my daughter’s irrational worries and extreme fears were OCD. This book caught my attention for the wrong reasons - lots of red, which is my least favorite color, and the big top which was a place I didn’t want to be, at the circus watching animals suffer. But then I noticed the letters OCD and I picked it up off the shelf and it was a game changer. This book helped me understand what was happening with my daughter perfectly. I found it to be a real page turner as each page helped me more and more. I recommend it to everyone who mentions a family member having ocd or maybe they are having symptoms. I’ve bought several copies because I give them away. I just listened to it for a second read and caught all kinds of good stuff I wasn’t ready to understand the first time I read it.
If you have a loved one with OCD, I highly recommend listening to this. It will help you understand what is happening inside for them. You’ll see ways that you can help them and realize ways you are enabling them and making their ocd stronger, so you can course correct. The author does it all with kindness by bravely sharing her own story so others won’t have to suffer.
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