When the Moon Hits Your Eye
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Narrated by:
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
New York Times bestseller John Scalzi flies you to the moon with his most fantastic tale to date: When the Moon Hits Your Eye
The moon has turned into cheese.
Now humanity has to deal with it.
For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
Astronauts and billionaires, comedians and bank executives, professors and presidents, teenagers and terminal patients at the end of their lives -- over the length of an entire lunar cycle, each get their moment in the moonlight. To panic, to plan, to wonder and to pray, to laugh and to grieve. All in a kaleidoscopic novel that goes all the places you’d expect, and then to so many places you wouldn’t.
It’s a wild moonage daydream. Ride this rocket.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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Constituent Service
- A Third District Story
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself. And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
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Short and fun!
- By Andrew on 10-04-24
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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Lock In (Narrated by Wil Wheaton)
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
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Fun! Things you might want to know:
- By Alexis on 08-29-14
By: John Scalzi
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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A Very Scalzi Christmas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Dina Pearlman, Kevin T. Collins, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
New York Times best-selling and Hugo Award-winning author John Scalzi gift-wraps 15 short takes on the holiday season - interviews with holiday notables, "informational" articles about TV specials and Christmas carols, short stories and poems, and even a couple of nods to Thanksgiving and New Year’s - and puts them all into a stocking stuffer-sized package that makes the perfect gift for friends, family, or yourself.
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Very Scalzian indeed!
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 12-03-19
By: John Scalzi
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Little Fuzzy [Audible]
- By: H. Beam Piper
- Narrated by: Peter Ganim
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The chartered Zarathustra Company had it all their way. Their charter was for a Class III uninhabited planet, which Zarathustra was, and it meant they owned the planet lock stock and barrel. They exploited it, developed it and reaped the huge profits from it without interference from the Colonial Government. Then Jack Holloway, a sunstone prospector, appeared on the scene with his family of Fuzzies and the passionate conviction that they were not cute animals but little people.
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An old and much loved friend
- By Carl on 07-04-09
By: H. Beam Piper
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Old Man's War
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
John Perry did two things on his 75th birthday. First he visited his wife's grave. Then he joined the army. The good news is that humanity finally made it into interstellar space. The bad news is that planets fit to live on are scarce—and alien races willing to fight us for them are common. So: we fight. To defend Earth, and to stake our own claim to planetary real estate. Far from Earth, the war has been going on for decades: brutal, bloody, unyielding. Earth itself is a backwater.
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Fun and Witty Military Sci-Fi
- By M. Spencer on 10-21-12
By: John Scalzi
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Redshirts
- A Novel with Three Codas
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Ensign Andrew Dahl has just been assigned to the Universal Union Capital Ship Intrepid, flagship of the Universal Union since the year 2456. Life couldn’t be better…until Andrew begins to pick up on the facts that (1) every Away Mission involves some kind of lethal confrontation with alien forces; (2) the ship’s captain, its chief science officer, and the handsome Lieutenant Kerensky always survive these confrontations; and (3) at least one low-ranked crew member is, sadly, always killed.
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Not his Wheal-house
- By P. Stover on 09-16-13
By: John Scalzi
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The Kaiju Preservation Society
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
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I'm listening with a permanent smile on my face
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 03-15-22
By: John Scalzi
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The Collapsing Empire
- The Interdependency, Book 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Our universe is ruled by physics, and faster-than-light travel is not possible - until the discovery of The Flow, an extradimensional field we can access at certain points in space-time that transports us to other worlds, around other stars. Humanity flows away from Earth, into space, and in time forgets our home world and creates a new empire, the Interdependency, whose ethos requires that no one human outpost can survive without the others. It's a hedge against interstellar war - and a system of control for the rulers of the empire.
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THE STUPIDITIES OF COURT
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 04-01-17
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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Anima Rising
- A Novel
- By: Christopher Moore
- Length: 12 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Vienna, 1911. Gustav Klimt, the most famous painter in the Austrian Empire, the darling of Viennese society, spots a woman’s nude body in the Danube canal. He knows he should summon a policeman, but he can’t resist stopping to make a sketch first. And as he draws, the woman coughs. She’s alive! Back at his studio, Klimt and his model-turned-muse Wally tend to the erstwhile-drowned girl. She’s nearly feral and doesn’t remember who she is, or how she came to be floating in the canal. Klimt names her Judith, after one of his most famous paintings, and resolves to help her find her memory.
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The Martian Contingency
- Lady Astronaut, Book 4
- By: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Years after a meteorite strike obliterated Washington, DC—triggering an extinction-level global-warming event—Earth’s survivors have started an international effort to establish homes on space stations and the Moon. The next step–Mars. Elma York, the Lady Astronaut, lands on the Red Planet, optimistic about preparing for the first true wave of inhabitants. The mission objective is more than just building the infrastructure of a habitat–they are trying to preserve the many cultures and nuances of life on Earth without importing the hate. But from the moment she arrives, something is off.