New Rules
Polite Musings from a Timid Observer
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Narrated by:
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Bill Maher
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By:
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Bill Maher
About this listen
Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit program Politically Incorrect, in which he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that garnered him a loyal following. In his popular and long-running HBO television show, Real Time with Bill Maher, his reputation for being a hilarious provocateur continues.
One particular segment of the show—"New Rules"—strikes a chord with viewers every week. Within these rules, Maher takes comic and serious aim, bringing all his incisiveness, wit, and signature exasperation to bear on topics ranging from cell phones ("I don't need my cell phone to take pictures or access the Internet. I just need to make a phone call!") to the conservative agenda ("Stop claiming it's an agenda. It's not an agenda! It's a random collection of laws that your corporate donors paid you to pass!").
In this collection, Maher brings these brilliantly conceived riffs to audio, along with some singularly Maher-ian "editorials"—editorials nothing like the standard fare found on the pages of the local newspaper!
©2006 Bill Maher (P)2022 Phoenix BooksListeners also enjoyed...
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Sarah Vowell travels through the American past and investigates the dusty, bumpy roads of her own life. Her essays confront a wide range of subjects, icons, and historical moments: Ike, Teddy Roosevelt, and Bill Clinton; Canadian Mounties and German Filmmakers; Tom Cruise and Buffy the Vampire Slayer; twins and nerds; the Gettysburg Address, the State of the Union, and George W. Bush's inauguration. The result is an engrossing audiobook, capturing Vowell's memorable wit and her keen social commentary.
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One of the best surprises on AUDIBLE.COM!!
- By Doggy Bird on 04-14-04
By: Sarah Vowell
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Digging Up Mother
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- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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The Art of the Pimp
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- By: Dennis Hof
- Narrated by: Kevin Stillwell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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Dennis Hof, proprietor of the world-famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel and the P.T. Barnum of prostitution, charts his path to fame and infamy, while dispensing homespun wisdom about sex, sales, money, and how to live as the country's most recognizable pimp. In The Art of the Pimp, Dennis Hof offers a hilarious, insightful, behind-the-scenes look at life as the proprietor of The Moonlight Bunny Ranch, the world's most famous legal brothel, and recounts his chaotic life.
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if you love the sex industry then yell love this
- By Amazon Customer on 11-28-17
By: Dennis Hof
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
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An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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Clever!
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By: Dave Barry
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy
- By: Mike Huckabee
- Narrated by: Mike Huckabee
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
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In Mike Huckabee's new book God, Guns, Grits and Gravy, he asks the question, "Have I been taken to a different planet than the one on which I grew up?" The New York Times best-selling author explores today's American culture, drawing from his travels as a presidential candidate to present average, small-town people and families, and their optimistic resilience in the face of hard times.
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Review
- By Dorothy Ella on 02-13-15
By: Mike Huckabee
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Wanna Bet?
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- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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What listeners say about New Rules
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Scott
- 08-31-05
Funny and true but also Annoying
Most segments start off with Maher saying "New Rule" and then launching into a socio-political diatribe with a humourous edge. Some of this book is funny and imaginative but it often falls flat as over-obvious and contrived. The "New Rule" shtick got old for me but I do like Maher and his "rock the world" attitude. I think he could do better.
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6 people found this helpful
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- Rosalyn Mendez
- 06-21-24
Bull Maher is a lyrical genius!
In 2024 as I read a book that came out in 2000s, it is literally prophetic with a twist of humor! Bill Maher took over for George Carlin since his passing, a legend in his own regard!
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Overall
- Jennifer
- 02-21-06
Not great.
Without the audience booing, hissing, or clapping with approval the New Rules don't quite pack the punch, sounds more like whining.
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Overall
- James
- 10-03-09
Hillarious!
This book was funny from start to finish! It had me laughing, crying yet thinking throughout the whole time. Bill Maher Rocks!
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- steve
- 02-20-10
Funny as Heck
Maher is hysterical and this book is no different. I got a great laught out of it and it's educational at the same time!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ed
- 01-02-12
An admitted Bill Maher fan
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes as most of my friends share my political views. I would recommend to those on the opposite side of the political spectrum but they chose not to listen to facts
What other book might you compare New Rules to and why?
Something by Al Franken such as
Which character – as performed by Bill Maher – was your favorite?
As this is not a story book there are no characters to chose from but his points about George W. Bush stand out.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Yes - but as I was listening on an airplane from Bangkok to Istanbul, I had no choice.
Any additional comments?
none
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- Greg
- 12-05-11
Love me some Bill Maher but this is better read
Bill Maher's collection of new rules (some of which feel dated, other poignant and even more relevant) doesn't make for the best audiobook, as 3 hours of Bill Maher barking new rules isn't nearly as amazing it sounds. Its best in nuggets, read in bursts and not extended audiobook format. Bill, while amazing on stage (be it stand up or TV) feels a little less edgy when reading his new rules, without the audience to react to his natural comedic timing. This is far from bad, but without flowing chapters, paragraph long rants make you thirsty for something longer. I read the book years ago, and loved it, and liked the idea of Maher reading the best of classic new rules... and that's what I got. This is for the fan, not a would be fan.
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Overall
- Jessie
- 07-24-05
laugh-out-loud funny
This compilation of Maher's New Rule edicts is clever and entertaining. After a while, I caught on to the word-plays in the chapter titles, which are awfully fun ("Entertainment Weakly: No more celebrity gambling shows..." or "Have it Yaweh").
The Religious Right is not the only target of Maher's biting wit. Paris Hilton and the people fascinated by her, jerks with cellphones, predictably mediocre Hollywood films, and spineless Democrats are all candidates for new rules.
Maher's take on the Blue state/ Red state divide is not as simplistic as some critics might suggest. Both sides take plenty of well-deserved hits.
He's got a great delivery and cadence. His rant bounces around from entertainment, politics, social gaffes and hypocrisy of all kinds.
This may be a more telling mirror of our current state of affairs than anyone wants to admit.
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11 people found this helpful
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Overall
- Nicole
- 08-30-05
New Rule: All Comedy Must Be This Funny!
I love Bill's show on HBO, "Real Time with Bill Maher". My favorite segment is New Rules. It's so cool he did a whole book on these condensed, funny as heck ideas.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall
- L. W. Mitchell
- 08-03-05
Bill, New Rule...
New Rule ? You can?t print the transcripts of you old TV shows and call them a book. But, the material was catchy, funny and I enjoyed the nostalgia of remembering what I was doing when I first heard each of his new rules. If you missed seeing Bill?s New Rules on his HBO program, get the book. If you have seen them before, you may be disappointed.
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11 people found this helpful