Preview
  • One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

  • Essays
  • By: Scaachi Koul
  • Narrated by: Scaachi Koul
  • Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
  • 4.1 out of 5 stars (169 ratings)

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One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

By: Scaachi Koul
Narrated by: Scaachi Koul
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Publisher's summary

"Certain authors are their own best narrators...Here, Koul's accomplished reading comes with the bonus of regular vocal interjections from her father." — Library Journal

A debut collection of fierce, funny essays about growing up the daughter of Indian immigrants in Western culture, addressing sexism, stereotypes, and the universal miseries of life.

This program is read by the author

In One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter, Scaachi Koul deploys her razor-sharp humor to share all the fears, outrages, and mortifying moments of her life. She learned from an early age what made her miserable, and for Scaachi anything can be cause for despair. Whether it’s a shopping trip gone awry; enduring awkward conversations with her bikini waxer; overcoming her fear of flying while vacationing halfway around the world; dealing with Internet trolls, or navigating the fears and anxieties of her parents.

Alongside these personal stories are pointed observations about life as a woman of color: where every aspect of her appearance is open for critique, derision, or outright scorn; where strict gender rules bind in both Western and Indian cultures, leaving little room for a woman not solely focused on marriage and children to have a career (and a life) for herself.

With a sharp eye and biting wit, incomparable rising star and cultural observer Scaachi Koul offers a hilarious, scathing, and honest look at modern life.

©2017 Scaachi Koul (P)2017 Macmillan Audio
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Critic reviews

"...Koul's precise and understated delivery allows listeners time to consider her words as she finds humor and interest in unexaggerated reality. These strengths are especially useful when she navigates through family trees and sometimes complicated rites of passage. The production is punctuated by vignettes in which Koul's father talks directly to her, gently admonishing as fathers will, adding another layer to stories that often include him. This production will please fans of humorists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling."—AudioFile

"One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter is an absolutely wonderful, impossible-not-to-love book. Whether writing about race or girlhood, the internet or family, Scaachi Koul's writing makes each issue feel fresh and newfound. Hilarious but thoughtful, Koul draws you in to her life and makes you never want to leave."—Jessica Valenti, New York Times bestselling author of Sex Object

"One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter made me laugh embarrassingly loud on the train while surrounded by snarling, irritated commuters, approximately 1,729 times. And she has so many killer lines that destroyed me. Scaachi Koul is a miracle."—Samantha Irby, author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life and Meaty

What listeners say about One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Life as it is

Enjoyed it thoroughly. Great insight to what I see as somewhat typical experiences of a first generation child of immigrants. I say this because I've had similar stories as the son of Cuban immigrants. You end up living on the border of two worlds not belonging fully to either. Thank you for writing this book.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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wonderful reading

This book affected me expanding my vision on the social vision of each other without conversation with each other

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

I really liked this book!

Thank you for sharing your story and voice. I learned a lot and was entertained.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

So here's the thing...

Overall, it's a great story; it really opened my eyes to prejudices I never gave much thought to. Being the daughter of immigrants and also having immigrated to North America from overseas, I could also relate to some experiences and thoughts. HOWEVER, Scaachi's voice was so dull and monotone that, were the story uninteresting, I would've returned it. Memoirs don't need to be read in such a dull manner -- listen to Kevin Hart's for inspiration.

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6 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

excellent, relatable, loved it.

I'm so happy I got the audio version of this book.
I was able to hear the stories in the voice of the author (who did a phenomenal job!) and hear her dad, who's a complicated but charming man.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good listen

I listened to this book on a road trip. I enjoyed learning about being an immigrant or second generation immigrant in America. I didn’t find this particularly funny however.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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I personally did not enjoy

The reader claimed she didn't even know what she was writing. Felt like I was listening to white noise. Not for me but that is my personal opinion.

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2 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

So whiny!

I think you have to be a millennial to get this book. The author just didn’t make me care enough for her to think anything except that she’s whiny and needy.

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