
Patricia Wants to Cuddle
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By:
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Samantha Allen
About this listen
The contestants of a reality television dating show compete for love--and their lives--in this pulse-pounding and viciously funny fiction debut from the GLAAD Award-winning author of Real Queer America.
When the final four women in competition for an aloof, if somewhat sleazy, bachelor’s heart arrive on a mysterious island in the Pacific Northwest, they mentally prepare themselves for another week of extreme sleep deprivation, invasive interviews, and of course, the salacious drama that viewers nationwide tune in to eagerly devour. Each woman came on The Catch for her own reasons--brand sponsorships, followers, and yes, even love--and they’ve all got their eyes steadfastly trained on their respective prizes.
Enter Patricia, a temperamental but woefully misunderstood local, living alone in the dark, verdant woods and desperate to forge a connection of her own. As the contestants perform for the cameras that surround them, Patricia watches from her place in the shadows, a queer specter haunting the bombastic display of heterosexuality before her. But when the cast and crew at last make her acquaintance atop the island’s tallest and most desolate peak, they soon realize that if they’re to have any hope of making it to the next Elimination Event, they’ll first have to survive the night.
A whirlwind romp careening toward a last-girl-standing conclusion and a scathing indictment of contemporary American media culture, Patricia Wants to Cuddle is also a love story: between star-crossed lesbians who rise above their intolerant town, a deeply ambivalent woman and her budding self-actualization, and a chosen family of misfit islanders forging community against all odds.
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creepy and unnerving
- By Dani on 06-17-25
By: Mónica Ojeda, and others
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Tell Me I'm Worthless
- By: Alison Rumfitt
- Narrated by: Nicky Endres
- Length: 8 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Three years ago, Alice spent one night in an abandoned house with her friends, Ila and Hannah. Since then, Alice’s life has spiraled. She lives a haunted existence, selling videos of herself for money, going to parties she hates, drinking herself to sleep.
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Better Buy Tylenol
- By Silas Hunter on 08-14-23
By: Alison Rumfitt
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My Darling Dreadful Thing
- A Novel
- By: Johanna van Veen
- Narrated by: Jess Nesling
- Length: 9 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Roos Beckman has a spirit companion only she can see. Ruth—strange, corpse-like, and dead for centuries—is the light of Roos' life. That is, until the wealthy young widow Agnes Knoop visits one of Roos' backroom seances, and the two strike up a connection.
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Holds Out Until the Last Minute
- By Andy on 12-19-24
By: Johanna van Veen
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Small Game
- A Novel
- By: Blair Braverman
- Narrated by: Kristen Sieh
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Four strangers and six weeks: this is all that separates Mara from one life-changing payday. She was surprised when reality TV producers came knocking at Primal Instinct—the survival school where she teaches rich clients not to die during a night outdoors—and even more shocked to be cast in their new show, Civilization. Now she just has to live off the land with her fellow survivors for long enough to get the prize money.
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It was okay but lacked any pay off.
- By Diana on 11-17-22
By: Blair Braverman
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Motherthing
- By: Ainslie Hogarth
- Narrated by: Adina Verson
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Ralph and Abby Lamb move in with Ralph’s mother, Laura, Abby hopes it’s just what she and her mother-in-law need to finally connect. After a traumatic childhood, Abby is desperate for a mother figure, especially now that she and Ralph are trying to become parents themselves. Abby just has so much love to give—to Ralph, to Laura, and to Mrs. Bondy, her favorite resident at the long-term care home where she works. But Laura isn’t interested in bonding with her daughter-in-law. She’s venomous and cruel, especially to Abby, and life with her is hellish.
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A great story with horrible narration
- By Calliope on 09-18-23
By: Ainslie Hogarth
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Walking Practice
- A Novel
- By: Dolki Min
- Narrated by: Nicky Endres
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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After crashing their spacecraft in the middle of nowhere, a shapeshifting alien finds themself stranded on an unfamiliar planet and disabled by Earth’s gravity. To survive, they will need to practice walking. And what better way than to hunt for food? As they discover, humans are delicious. Intelligent, clever, and adaptable, the alien shifts their gender, appearance, and conduct to suit a prey’s sexual preference, then attacks at the pivotal moment of their encounter.
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Odd on every level but not terrible
- By cindi marsh on 02-09-25
By: Dolki Min
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My Husband
- A Novel
- By: Maud Ventura, Emma Ramadan - translator
- Narrated by: Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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At forty years old, she has an enviable life: a successful career, stunning looks, a beautiful house in the suburbs, two healthy children, and most importantly, an ideal husband, whose wealthy background allows her to transcend her own social class. After fifteen years together, she is still besotted with him. But she’s never quite sure that her passion is reciprocated.
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Mind numbingly boring and shallow.
- By GAYANE TOROSYAN on 10-27-23
By: Maud Ventura, and others
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Paradise Rot
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Hval, Marjam Idriss - translator
- Narrated by: Brie Jackman
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Jo is in a strange new country for university and having a more peculiar time than most. In a house with no walls, shared with a woman who has no boundaries, she finds her strange home coming to life in unimaginable ways. Jo's sensitivity and all her senses become increasingly heightened and fraught, as the lines between bodies and plants, dreaming and wakefulness, blur and mesh.
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Wrong Voice
- By Orville on 08-18-24
By: Jenny Hval, and others
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Sawkill Girls
- By: Claire Legrand
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Who are the Sawkill Girls? Marion: The newbie. Awkward and plain, steady and dependable. Zoey: The pariah. Luckless and lonely, hurting but hiding it. Aching with grief and dreaming of vanished girls. Val: The queen bee. Their stories come together on the island of Sawkill Rock, where gleaming horses graze in rolling pastures and cold waves crash against black cliffs. Where kids whisper the legend of an insidious monster at parties and around campfires. Where girls have been disappearing for decades, stolen away by a ravenous evil no one has dared to fight…until now.
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Disappointed
- By Shell on 12-09-18
By: Claire Legrand
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Deliver Me
- A Novel
- By: Elle Nash
- Narrated by: Madeleine Dauer
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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At a meatpacking facility in the Missouri Ozarks, Dee-Dee and her coworkers kill and butcher 40,000 chickens in a single shift. The work is repetitive and brutal, with each stab and cut a punishment to her hands and joints, but Dee-Dee's more concerned with what is happening inside her body. After a series of devastating miscarriages, Dee-Dee has found herself pregnant, and she is determined to carry this child to term. Dee-Dee fled the Pentecostal church years ago, but judgment follows her in the form of regular calls from her mother.
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Poor hygiene with a heavy dose of religious trauma
- By Iran on 07-23-24
By: Elle Nash
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Bloom
- By: Delilah S. Dawson
- Narrated by: Sarah Beth Pfeifer
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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A sweet sapphic romance takes a deadly dark turn in this sharp-as-a-knife novella with the slow build menace of Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber—from a New York Times-bestselling author hailed by Chuck Wendig as "a storyteller working at the top of her class."
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what an ending
- By sam on 11-09-24
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Plain Bad Heroines
- A Novel
- By: Emily M. Danforth
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 19 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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The award-winning author of The Miseducation of Cameron Post makes her adult debut with this highly imaginative and original horror-comedy centered around a cursed New England boarding school for girls - a wickedly whimsical celebration of the art of storytelling, sapphic love, and the rebellious female spirit.
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A book unlike any other.
- By Keir on 11-10-20
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A Lesson in Vengeance
- By: Victoria Lee
- Narrated by: Lindsey Dorcus
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Felicity Morrow is back at the Dalloway School. Perched in the Catskill Mountains, the centuries-old, ivy-covered campus was home until the tragic death of her girlfriend. Now, after a year away, she's returned to finish high school. She even has her old room in Godwin House, the exclusive dormitory rumored to be haunted by the spirits of five Dalloway students - girls some say were witches.
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unsure how I feel about it
- By Carlie Sparks on 09-28-21
By: Victoria Lee
With that said, this book really is fun. It’s a pretty quick read and is great for people that love dating shows like “The Bachelor”. It also has a queer element to it which was a super adorable cherry on top.
The only thing holding me back from that 5th star is that I wish the ending wasn’t so rushed feeling. I wanted to know more… about her of course. I wanted to know more!! It just felt like it was missing some information that I could have really gotten into and that just didn’t happen which bummed me out.
Overall though, if you like fun, pretty tame horror stories this is a good one! I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as I did. I would recommend!
Not what I expected but in the best way possible
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Bachelor with a hint of true crime
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A tad violent and dark but aside from that…
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Unique
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An interesting read
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Really interesting story!
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Playfully deadpan narration juxtaposed beautifully with Allen’s clever writing style and fatalistic wit. You’ll hang on every moment, gush on every reveal, just dying to be a lucky few standing for that rose ceremony. Light the candles, pour a glass, and draw my warm bubble bath because true love awaits, my friends, if you’re willing to risk it all!
CUDDLE ME ALREADY
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Clever and Entertaining
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Goofy and Predictable
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What did I just listen to?
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