Stone Cold Bastards
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Narrated by:
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Jeff Hays
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By:
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Jake Bible
About this listen
Only a ragtag team of gargoyles stands between humanity and extinction.
Hell has released its ravening horde of demons, leaving most of humanity a puke-spewing, head-spinning mess of possession.
Humanity’s last hope? A team of misfit gargoyles - including a cigar-chomping, hard-ass grotesque - come alive and ready for battle during the End of Days. They guard the last cathedral-turned-sanctuary atop a bald knoll in the North Carolina mountains.
Gargoyle protection grudgingly extends to any human who can make it inside the sanctuary, but the power of the stonecutter blood magic, which protects the sanctuary, may not be enough when a rogue grotesque and his badly wounded ward arrive.
All the hounds of hell are on their heels. The last sanctuary is about to fall.
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Critic reviews
“Misfit stone warriors against the demon apocalypse - a bloody good story!” (Gail Z. Martin, author of Shadow and Flame)
“Stone Cold Bastards is the most fun you'll ever have with the apocalypse. I'm not sure which I love more - the hillbilly-styled grotesques, the polite demons, or guts, gore, and mayhem.” (Diana Pharaoh Francis, author of the Crosspointe Chronicles Series)
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Looks like a great series to follow
- By Tilo on 07-06-14
By: A.R. Wise
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The Last Mailman
- By: Kevin Burke
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Four-year degree in business.Trained in hand-to-hand combat. Works well with zombies.This is the resume of the last mailman on Earth. It is the near future, and the modern world we knew has been overrun and destroyed by reanimated corpses who hunt humans for food. Mankind has retreated to small pockets of civilization and practically surrendered to these walking dead. But one man routinely leaves behind the safety and comfort of his home in this new world in order to find the people and things we’ve long abandoned.
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Zombies but not as many as expected
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 08-16-13
By: Kevin Burke
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Half-Resurrection Blues
- Bone Street Rumba, Book 1
- By: Daniel José Older
- Narrated by: Daniel José Older
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Carlos Delacruz is one of the New York Council of the Dead's most unusual agents - an inbetweener, partially resurrected from a death he barely recalls suffering, after a life that’s missing from his memory. He thinks he is one of a kind - until he encounters other entities walking the fine line between life and death. One inbetweener is a sorcerer. He's summoned a horde of implike ngks capable of eliminating spirits, and they’re spreading through the city like a plague.
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I liked it. A lot. But...
- By Leo on 01-13-16
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Undead Chaos
- By: Joshua Roots
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The job was simple: decapitate the zombie, get paid, get out. Warlock Marcus Shifter followed the plan perfectly. The corpse, however, did not. Now there's a body on the loose, accusations of illegal necromancy are flying, and the answers are waiting in the perilous alleys between the mortal and paranormal worlds. They're no place for someone who mostly gave up magic after a childhood accident. And given his tendency to shoot off his mouth and his Glock, Marcus is having a hell of a time digging up more than just bodies. When an apocalypse-minded megalomaniac threatens Marcus's family, things get personal.
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Pretty good "beach" book
- By david on 12-04-13
By: Joshua Roots
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Dire: Fate
- The Dire Saga, Book 0.5
- By: Andrew Seiple
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden
- Length: 48 mins
- Unabridged
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All Doctor Dire wants to do is save the world. But those pesky heroes keep getting in the way, and it's all she can do to give them a good fight without killing them. Supervillainy is such an underappreciated job these days....
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A good taste
- By AV on 02-23-21
By: Andrew Seiple
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Contractor
- The Contractors, Book 1
- By: Andrew Ball
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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The Earth is under siege - and no one knows about it because the invaders erase those whom they consume. A handful of men and women stand on the border between the mundane and the magical. They have a special spark of soul - not quite enough to be naturally gifted in spellcraft but greater than the average person, a tiny flame that can ignite incredible potential. They possess the ability to fight back against the Vorid: the ability to become a Contractor.
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Where. Is. The. Sequel!!!!
- By Brina on 07-21-16
By: Andrew Ball
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Imperium
- Caulborn, Book 1
- By: Nicholas Olivo
- Narrated by: Ian McEuen
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Vincent Corinthos has two things going for him: he's a top operative of a secret agency tasked with handling paranormal threats, and he's half-god. Normally that's a combo that leaves him well-equipped to handle any problems that come his way. Until now. Something is snatching Boston's most powerful paranormal entities right off the streets. Vampires, lycanthropes, fae, gremlins - no one is safe. No ransom notes, no bodies, no witnesses.
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I enjoyed this audio book immensely!
- By Midwestbonsai on 06-27-16
By: Nicholas Olivo
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Charming
- Pax Arcana, Book 1
- By: Elliott James
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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John Charming isn't your average prince... He comes from a line of Charmings - an illustrious family of dragon slayers, witch-finders and killers dating back to before the fall of Rome. Trained by a modern day version of the Knights Templar, monster hunters who have updated their methods from chain mail and crossbows to Kevlar and shotguns, John Charming was one of the best-until a curse made him one of the abominations the Knights were sworn to hunt.
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Charming is Like Dresden in wolves clothing
- By Suzanne on 05-24-14
By: Elliott James
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The Unleashing
- Call of Crows, Book 1
- By: Shelly Laurenston
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Kera Watson never expected to face death behind a Los Angeles coffee shop. Not after surviving two tours lugging an M16 around the Middle East. If it wasn't for her hot Viking customer showing up too late to help, nobody would even have seen her die. In uncountable years of service to the Allfather Odin, Ludvig "Vig" Rundstrom has never seen anyone kick ass with quite as much style as Kera.
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Too Violent for this Reader
- By Aryn on 04-11-15
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Invasion
- Book One of the Secret World Chronicle
- By: Mercedes Lackey, Steve Libbey, Cody Martin, and others
- Narrated by: Nick Sullivan
- Length: 16 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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The world had become used to the metahumans - people sometimes perfectly ordinary, but sometimes quite extraordinary in appearance - who mostly worked with their governments as high-powered peace officers, fighting crime, and sometimes fighting rogue metahumans who had become super-criminals. Then that comfortable world ended in just one terrifying day.
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It's ...okay.
- By C Yohe on 10-16-12
By: Mercedes Lackey, and others
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The First Days
- As the World Dies, Book 1
- By: Rhiannon Frater
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The morning that the world ends, Katie is getting ready for court and housewife Jenni is taking care of her family. Less than two hours later, they are fleeing for their lives from a zombie horde. Thrown together by circumstance, Jenni and Katie become a powerful zombie-killing partnership, mowing down zombies as they rescue Jenni's stepson, Jason, from an infected campground.
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Not for my demographic
- By Garth on 02-08-12
By: Rhiannon Frater
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Croak
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Fed up with her wild behavior, 16-year-old Lex’s parents ship her off to upstate New York to live with her Uncle Mort for the summer, hoping that a few months of dirty farm work will whip her back into shape. But Uncle Mort’s true occupation is much dirtier than shoveling manure. He’s a Grim Reaper. And he’s going to teach Lex the family business. She quickly assimilates into the peculiar world of Croak, a town populated by reapers who deliver souls from this life to the next.
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Juvenile
- By Mark Faine on 09-23-13
By: Gina Damico
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The Remaining
- By: D. J. Molles
- Narrated by: Christian Rummel
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....
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Die Hard Meets 28 Days Later
- By G Wallace on 01-10-14
By: D. J. Molles
What listeners say about Stone Cold Bastards
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Justin Sylvia
- 12-09-24
Don't Go messing with a Grotesque/G
Amist the chaos of a post apocalypse world (?) lays a safe haven for the still remaining members of humanity after a horrible series of event. Among those G's Mordecai, a cigar chomping G who is thrust upon a journey for 1 thing, but soon evolves into something else entirely. Come read a book that is so good in my opinion that I gave it 4 stars.
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- Mark M.
- 11-26-22
Great concept but a little lacking
A great concept that was a little lacking in character development. Semi-spoiler alert: the ending has more than a hint of Deus Ex Machina. An enjoyable listen none the less.
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