
Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Susan Denaker
About this listen
In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools - scientifically based and empirically verified - that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication.
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict - with more than 90 percent accuracy - whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice.
What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways.
The authors offer an intimate look at 10 couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems - extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy - and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential listening.
©2006 John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, and Joan DeClaire (P)2006 Books on TapeListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
- By Anonymous User on 01-21-20
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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The New Marriage Clinic
- A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy Updated
- By: John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman
- Narrated by: Jon Vertullo
- Length: 19 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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The highly influential book The Marriage Clinic presented a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman's much-heralded research on marital success and failure. Since then, Dr. Gottman has collaborated with his wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman, to conduct their well-known Love Lab studies, allowing the pair to design a highly successful couples' workshop and develop their Sound Relationship House theory.
By: John M. Gottman, and others
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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And Baby Makes Three
- The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood.
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More couple's therapy than adapting with new baby.
- By Bridget on 08-19-17
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
- By: John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
- America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Joan DeClaire
- Narrated by: L.J. Ganser, Anne Gartlan
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90-percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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This book was a great tool!
- By Keonna Simpson on 07-12-17
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Anatomy of an Affair
- How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them
- By: Dave Carder
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to adultery, never say, "It won't happen to me." Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable. With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way - and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain.
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Hard to relate, as a non-evangelical
- By NANCY HALL on 01-18-19
By: Dave Carder
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
- What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
- By: Nic Saluppo
- Narrated by: Colin Kibler
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
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The Courage to Stay
- How to Heal from an Affair and Save Your Marriage
- By: Kathy Nickerson PhD
- Narrated by: Kathy Nickerson PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Rebuild the lost trust in your relationship, heal from the trauma of infidelity, and create a stronger, more resilient marriage with a proven program based on 22 years of clinical experience. Nothing hurts more than discovering your partner has been unfaithful. But an affair doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t love you or that your relationship is over. Many couples have recovered from infidelity and saved their marriages. You can too.
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realness
- By Amazon Customer on 04-18-24
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Communication in Marriage
- How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting
- By: Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi
- Narrated by: Greg Zarcone
- Length: 2 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you find it difficult communicating with your spouse? Are you tired of arguing and fighting with your spouse whenever you try to communicate? Is your spouse not talking to you anymore? You are not alone. Many couples (including us) have had to deal with these communication problems at some point in marriage, and it's not fun! But don't worry. No matter what communication problems you struggle with, you can learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse today.
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not what I expected
- By 77aniem on 12-19-17
By: Marcus Kusi, and others
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The Seven Secrets to Healthy, Happy Relationships
- By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., HeatherAsh Amara
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In this one-of-a-kind book, best-selling authors Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. and HeatherAsh Amara share their seven secrets to healthy, happy relationships: Commitment, Freedom, Awareness, Healing, Joy, Communication, and Release. Understanding and enacting these principles can help you at any stage in your intimate partnering, whether you've been with someone for many years or are currently single and want to prepare for a relationship.
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You can expect to feel Liberation and Self-Emancipation
- By DJNN on 01-29-20
By: Don Miguel Ruiz Jr., and others
What listeners say about Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- charles
- 10-14-11
Worth the Read/Listen
If you could sum up Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage in three words, what would they be?
If your Married and or thinking of marriage then you need to experience and embrace the concepts with one caveate (if your a man don't lose your basic nature of being a guy). Couples need to maintain and improve this interaction that was part and parcel of the courtship process. Men especially need to remember this process so that they can help their spouse stay open and build a relationship that is even larger than what brought the two lovers together. Plan, design and pursue each other to the beneift of those around them and the children watching every move they make. The premise and real world examples are to be taken seriously and imbibed deeply to ensure that both parties are understood and more fully realized. Listen and Read this book as well as the prequel to give your relationship every chance of flourishing for a liftetime. Women will identify with this more readily than men but the lesson is not to be denied or overlooked or trivialized. Pay attention to what your experiencing.
What did you like best about this story?
the excerpted real world dialogue.
What about Susan Denaker’s performance did you like?
it's just OK.
What did you learn from Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage that you would use in your daily life?
To understand more about how Women want there long-term dialogue to be [especially if they are into the NOW and that they should get any and all that they feel that they should want] don't deny the revealing of this important skill to fully realized what your marriage can be.
Any additional comments?
Learn this skill and add it to your quiver of skills to menuever through this life, but remain yourself at your core.
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4 people found this helpful
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- S. DJ
- 01-23-23
Excellent
I love these authors! Great and transformative info!!
I took many notes and will be applying this information to my marriage and parenting as well!
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Overall
- Patrick
- 02-10-11
Great Book
This book provided me with a lot of insight on ways i could communicate better. I found myself relating to several of the couples and their issues and found the doctors recommended ways to handle situations very useful.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-16-19
Easy to listen to and simple to apply.
First seek to understand, then to be understood. There is a way to improve your relationships and this book gives you the words and techniques. it also manages your expectations very well. Reccommended!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Sindy
- 05-23-10
So much truth in this!
I am listening tonight and plan to get the book tomorrow. I would like to go through the exercises written in the book. My parents did not show us how to resolve any conflict. They avoided it as much as possible. I am afraid that I did not teach my children either.
My oldest daughter just got married three weeks ago. I would like for her to listen to the book. My other daughter is ending her engagement.
This book would be very helpful for both of them. I am finding it very interesting!
Thank you.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Bobby
- 07-09-18
Needed this book.
Needed this book, it helped a lot. A review requires at least 15 words. A review requires at least 15 words.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-21-23
Unbelievable !
I found the commentary among the moment to moment conversations between couples particularly insightful and helpful. It’s truly unique from all of their other books, and especially helpful. It made me realize how much of a premium the Gottmans place on sharing one’s feelings, a skill I typically avoid out of fear of being rejected and dismissed by my wife. So surprised at only 4.4 stars when I think it’s their best book yet….will read many times.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jodie
- 09-13-13
Eye opening!
What made the experience of listening to Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage the most enjoyable?
The book uses real life scenarios of couples they've had in counseling, which makes the suggestions relative to myself and my own situation. This book opened my eyes and gave me an outside perspective on how I communicate in my marriage, and even in past relationships.
What insight do you think you’ll apply from Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage?
Like I said above, this book is an eye opener. I've seen myself in the couples they have in this book, that gives me a new perspective, and will help me focus on getting to the heart of my needs, while allowing me to work on listening to the needs of my partner. Then we can work on fulfilling those needs together.
Any additional comments?
I would recommend this book to anyone who is having communication breakdown in their marriage. There are numerous types of communication breakdown that are reviewed in this book, and they do a great job of doing a "before and after" session of these conversations. I plan on listening again to the book in its entirety, to get into more details.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Hooser
- 04-24-17
Great book but the audible chapters need work
Great content and insights. The authors break down common problems in marriage giving great detail and ways to improve your marriage. The chapter settings on the audible app is terrible with chapters ending midway through the next chapter on the audio portion.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Joel Myers
- 07-24-15
Excellent - insightful!
Eye opening, fundamental to have good clear communication and avoiding conflict and conflict resolution. Become friends again and fall in love.
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3 people found this helpful