Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
And How You Can Make Yours Last
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Narrated by:
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Paul Costanzo
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By:
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John M. Gottman
About this listen
Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn:
- More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
- Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce
- Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
- Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
- There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments- and there's a way around it
Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage - contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling - and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.
Download the accompanying reference guide.©1994 John Gottman (P)2012 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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The Happy Stepmother
- By: Rachelle Katz
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You found the love of your life, and you vowed to have, to hold, and to stepmother. You always thought that in time you'd grow to be the perfect, loving family. So why does it seem that the harder you try, the more unappreciated you feel? As a stepmother, therapist, and founder of the popular stepsforstepmothers.com, Dr. Rachelle Katz knows all too well how challenging stepmotherhood can be. Based on thousands of in-depth interviews and the latest research, she's created a powerful program to help you.
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horrible
- By Marcia R on 02-07-17
By: Rachelle Katz
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Why Mars and Venus Collide
- Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress
- By: John Gray
- Narrated by: John Gray
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Once upon a time, Martians and Venusians functioned in separate worlds. But in today's hectic and career-oriented environment, relationships have become a lot more complicated, and men and women are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress. To add to the increasing tension, most men and women are also completely unaware that they are actually hardwired to react differently to the stress.
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Very insightful & evokative for introspection
- By Amazon Customer on 02-04-12
By: John Gray
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For Men Only (Revised and Updated Edition)
- A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn, Jeff Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Jeff Feldhahn
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Finally, you can understand her! If you're like most men, you've burned up lots of energy trying to figure out what a woman wants, what makes her tick, and how to make her happy. The good news: success is simpler than you thought. In their groundbreaking classic, For Men Only, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn reveal the eye opening truths and simple acts that will radically improve your relationship with the woman you love.
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Really helpfull!
- By kristie bento on 03-18-15
By: Shaunti Feldhahn, and others
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Love Busters
- Protect Your Marriage by Replacing Love-Busting Patterns with Love-Building Habits
- By: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.
- Narrated by: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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With Dr. Harley's expert guidance, couples will be able to avoid the major causes of marital unhappiness and disappointment. Instead of tearing their marriage apart, they will learn to build it into the marriage they had needed and wanted. This book is a perfect companion to His Needs, Her Needs and will be useful to pastors, counselors, and couples.
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Painful, shortsighted and limited on actual new information
- By J. Wolter on 04-07-23
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man
- Coping with Hidden Aggression - From the Bedroom to the Boardroom
- By: Scott Wetzler Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Do you know one of these men? The catch-me-if-you-can lover...Phil's romantic and passionate one minute, distant and cold the next. The deviously manipulative coworker or boss...Jack denies resenting Nora's rapid rise in the company, but when they're assigned to work together on a project, he undermines her. The obstructionist, procrastinating husband...Bob keeps telling his wife he'll finish the painting job he began years ago, but he never seems to get around to it. These are all classic examples of the passive aggressive man.
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A good review of the PA type man
- By Dew on 12-29-17
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Love Talk
- Speak Each Other's Language Like You Never Have Before
- By: Dr. Les Parrott, Dr. Leslie Parrott
- Narrated by: Dr. Leslie Parrott, Dr. Les Parrott
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
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A deep yet simple guide to revolutionizing the romance-building communication every thriving marriage needs. Love Talk is like no other communication book you've ever listened to. The fruit of years of research by two foremost relationship experts (who also happen to be husband and wife), this book forges a new path to the heart of loving conversation. You'll begin by identifying your security need and determining your personal communication style.
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Should Purchase the Book for Assessment Passcode
- By Terassa on 12-29-10
By: Dr. Les Parrott, and others
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Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition
- What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
- By: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Narrated by: Shaunti Feldhahn
- Length: 4 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Discover the truth he wants you to know! The man in your life is keeping secrets. They’re so deep inside he barely knows they're there, much less how to talk to you about them. Yet he genuinely wants you to "get" him - to understand his inner life, his fears, his needs... In her landmark best seller For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals what every woman - single or married - needs to know.
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Life changing
- By Jill on 10-19-13
By: Shaunti Feldhahn
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Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?
- Encouragement for Women Involved with Angry and Controlling Men
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Gary Galone
- Length: 11 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It helps you to digest what is happening a piece at a time, so you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom.
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Just what I needed.
- By lori Goodson on 11-07-15
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Anger Management Workbook for Men
- Take Control of Your Anger and Master Your Emotions
- By: Aaron Karmin MA
- Narrated by: Brett Barry
- Length: 3 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Clinical therapist Aaron Karmin teaches you the skills to manage your anger without aggression and build up your self-confidence, self-control, and self-respect. The Anger Management Workbook for Men goes beyond why men get angry and helps you get to the root of your anger. It gives you positive and productive anger management tools to strengthen the most important and most overlooked relationship in your life - your relationship with yourself.
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just not good at all.
- By brian gregory on 06-02-22
By: Aaron Karmin MA
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Excellent book!
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not a good audiobook
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90 percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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One of the basics
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A five-step guide for building better connections with family, friends, and lovers, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all the relationships in your life.
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Buy in Print. Audiobook good only as refresher.
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Some interesting material
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Excellent book!
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not a good audiobook
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90 percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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Technical version of his other book
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What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
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Helpful for neurotypicals
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
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Fight Right
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
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I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You
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In I Love You, but I'm Not in Love with You - a real-life relationship guide from couples' counselor Andrew G. Marshall - partners and individuals who have "fallen out of love" or want to rekindle the love that once was will learn how to use Marshall 's program with impressive results. This is a much-needed book to help men and women of all ages in any type of committed romantic relationship to truly understand love and to point out the everyday habits that undermine growing together.
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If you feel stuck in a relationship, this book is a MUST!
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Eight Dates
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
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Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New
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You've made a commitment to see your marriage healed, so now what? Whether your relationship is recovering from an affair, pornography addiction, or just years of coasting, Cindy Beall shares from her redeemed-marriage journey to help you heal deeply by restoring faith in a future, build wisely from the foundation up, invest generously in your marriage and in other people, and much more.
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Wisdom, hope, and strength providing
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The New Marriage Clinic
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The highly influential book The Marriage Clinic presented a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman's much-heralded research on marital success and failure. Since then, Dr. Gottman has collaborated with his wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman, to conduct their well-known Love Lab studies, allowing the pair to design a highly successful couples' workshop and develop their Sound Relationship House theory.
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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And Baby Makes Three
- The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood.
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More couple's therapy than adapting with new baby.
- By Bridget on 08-19-17
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Wired for Love
- How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
- By: Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT
- Narrated by: Michael Hinton
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Wired for Love is an innovative guide to understanding your partner's brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this audiobook presents 10 guiding principles that can improve any relationship.
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No PDF = 1 star
- By Maker on 04-08-18
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
- By: John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
What listeners say about Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Evan Makovsky
- 11-16-18
Gottman is gdeat
John Hoffman gives real life applicable strategies off his research. I've known and studied him in the past. But now I'm my good relationship that has normal challenges I have coping mechanisms I didn't have prior. I recommend this!
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- gershom Joseph
- 12-06-18
Great reading excellent information
This is a great resource of information for marital couples. I will read again and pass it on to others.
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- Code6Charli
- 12-24-15
Narrator is blah
Great book. A couple points I don't agree with, but overall there is a lot to take away. The downfall for the audio book is the narrator. He sounds like a computer and is not the right person to narrate conversations that couples have.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kat
- 05-28-22
Perspective from a divorcee
Definitely put a different outlook on my failed marriage; however, it lead to better things. Now using the book for the betterment any future relationship. Definitely worth reading for anybody who is contemplating or has been divorced. Or anyone who just needs to strengthen their marriage.
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- Chytuck
- 03-15-24
Talked mostly about positive 5/1
Very repetitive could have be shorter got kind of the same thing to many times
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- Kristi Hensley
- 03-02-15
Sizing up your marriage
Dr Gottman is wonderful about putting everyday trials of marriage into manageable struggles. If you fight with your spouse constantly, read this book. If you feel your spouse does not understand you, read this book. Don't wait till the divorce lawyers are in the picture to look for help!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Murphy Family
- 03-23-19
Oh That's Why!!!!
I have learned valuable information and gained so much understanding from this book. Puzzles I have had for years have come to form a more complete picture. I can see in what way I caused so much stress to my exhusband now with my naturally volitile communication style. And I can now look for a man with a similar conflict resolution style with whom to enjoy lively, analytical discussions! Hoorah! I'm not an angry or disrespectful person just because I don't shy away from disagreements. It's just a different style that not everyone likes in a spouse but some, like me, really do. Through this book, this abstract thought of wanting someone more like me has focused and solidified into a concrete concept with easily understood terms. Yay! I'm not a negative, critical, or judgemental person just because I voice to my complaints and love to sometimes take meaning apart to discover what makes it tick. Fighting is not wrong. It's apart of life. Let's just keep it in the ring and above the belt. I totally ate up the concepts in this book on how to not fight dirty. The 4 horsemen are easy to remember and I'm excited to watch my interactions more closely more to make sure they don't creep in. This book is so inspirational. I love that he drew his conclusions from years of experiments rather than just observations with clients. And that he still brought specific examples up for readers to see more clearly what he was explaining.
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- Sean Davis
- 01-09-18
Great content, delivery is a little stiff
This book will transform your relationships if you let it, but I thought the narrator was a bit robotic sounding and it was distracting until I got used to his style.
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- colette
- 01-01-17
Required reading
Anyone remotely considering getting married should read this book.
I wish I had read it years ago.
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- Archdrafter
- 02-13-17
Extremely Valuable Information
After studying the content of this book and applying its principles in our marriage, we are firmly on the path to healing.
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