In Each Other's Care
A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them
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About this listen
Break the Cycle: A Comprehensive Guide to Overcome Chronic Relationship Struggles
Few things are more frustrating than repeating the same fight with your partner. Playing out the same disagreement about money, parenting, sex, or household chores may leave you exhausted, cut off from the person you want to feel close to. While conflict in any relationship is inevitable, healing is possible. With In Each Other's Care, Stan Tatkin shares a hands-on repair manual that will help you discover how arguments get triggered, why they keep happening, and what you can do to get better at communicating what you want without the drama.
Drawing on his vast experience as a couples therapist, Tatkin uses the concept of secure functioning—a two-person psychological system of teamwork, full collaboration, and cooperation based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity. This form of unionizing “takes time to learn,” Tatkin says. “And still, the rewards are awesome and make the effort worthwhile. Secure functioning benefits you, your partner, your family, your friends, everything, and everyone.”
Throughout In Each Other’s Care, Tatkin offers targeted lessons, sample dialogues, and heartfelt wisdom. Through this life-changing practice, you will be able to:
• Identify the source of unhappiness in your relationship
• Learn techniques for preventing problems before they occur
• Heal the emotional wounds of the past
• Transform conflict and struggle into win-win outcomes
• Renew broken connections and return to intimacy
Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or are just beginning the journey, In Each Other’s Care is a wonderfully supportive guide that will show you how to work through even the most contentious topics with compassion and respect.
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Critic reviews
“Reading Stan Tatkin is like listening to your favorite wise uncle armed with the latest developments in brain research. Smart, practical, blessedly specific, In Each Other’s Care asks: What would our relationships be like if we remembered, even in stressful moments, that we are actually in a relationship? When we feel threatened, we lose each other and revert to I, me, mine—forgetting, that our very well-being depends on the emotional ecosystem we’re a part of. Stan reminds us that taking care of one another, of our union, is taking care of ourselves. He offers actionable tools, like how to speak up and care for your partner at the same time. This book is a revolution. It has the power to transform your relationship and your life.” —Terrence Real, New York Times bestselling author of Us and founder of the Relational Life Institute
“Since, as couples, we are ‘in each other’s care’ and since, according to the author, we are all difficult to live with, it makes sense that we need a guide to help us take care of each other. And that is what Stan Tatkin, a relationship scholar and seasoned therapist, has provided. If you find yourself in one or several of the conflict scenarios he has provided, you have a ready-to-hand guide for its resolution. If you do not find yourself there, the solution process applies anyway, and we encourage you to use it. We recommend this book to all couples for achieving their optimal care of each other.” —Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, authors of Getting the Love You Want
“If your partnership needs a visit to the repair shop, read this book. With Tatkin’s wisdom and experience, your complaints may finally come to rest and you’ll be laughing together again. People in happy partnerships live over five years longer. Tatkin may even extend your life!” —Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Anatomy of Love and senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute
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- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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The Chimp Paradox
- The Mind Management Program to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence, and Happiness
- By: Dr. Steve Peters
- Narrated by: Tim Andres Pabon
- Length: 9 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Steve Peters explains that we all have a being within our minds that can wreak havoc on every aspect of our lives. He calls this being "the chimp," and it can work either for you or against you. The Chimp Paradox contains an incredibly powerful mind management model that can help you be happier and healthier, increase your confidence, and become a more successful person. This audiobook will help you to recognize how your mind is working, understand and manage your emotions and thoughts, and become the person you would like to be.
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The best way to describe this book is it's an Owners Manual for People.
- By Michael on 08-14-15
By: Dr. Steve Peters
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The No Contact Rule
- By: Natalie Lue
- Narrated by: Lucy Price-Lewis
- Length: 6 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being his or her backup plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding up back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship.
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I can not recomment this book highly enough!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-14-17
By: Natalie Lue
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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Dealing with Toxic People
- A Survival Guide to Deal and Heal from Toxic People, and Empower Yourself to Achieve Big in Life
- By: Chris Genson
- Narrated by: Maria McCann
- Length: 3 hrs and 22 mins
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Dealing with Toxic People is a solution-oriented book that throws light on one of the most important issues in today's world. Listeners will be able to learn every possible technique to help get rid of toxic people in the best possible manner.
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AMAZING, Great Book!
- By Elise Whitehouse on 04-18-23
By: Chris Genson
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What listeners say about In Each Other's Care
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 01-17-24
Stan is a genius therapist
I read every book multiple times.
I had an aha moment after reading relationship RX .
Stan changed my life.
I now consider my self a recovering avoidant!
I am married and we read these books separately and together,
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- Phil H
- 07-04-23
I love Tatkin’s work and message.
Highly recommended for couples at any stage of their development. Best to be read often and practiced daily.
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1 person found this helpful
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- KL
- 12-26-23
Favorite relationship book ever
In depth exploration of relational dynamics with practical application! Stan’s best yet, and actually the best relationship book I’ve ever read.
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- amapolasygolondrinas
- 01-28-24
Practico y profundamente interactivo
Inspirador 100% didáctico , una joya para pareja y terapeutas . El enfoque PACT es lo más respetuoso y sistémico que conozco
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- SpendingMoneyIsFun
- 05-08-23
Super practical explanation and guidance
Dr. Tatkin dives deeper into what were all most conflicted about in relationships—conflict—in his most recent book. By far the best breakdown of how it happens and how to fix it that I’ve ever heard.
The actor vignettes are better and more instructive in this book than in his Relationship Rx book in my opinion. They sound more realistic, better performed, and more clearly explained and analyzed.
So glad that Stan narrated this book himself. He is able to give his work much more meaning through his own voice.
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1 person found this helpful
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- SoCalGal
- 11-10-23
Our Relationship Benefited Greatly
This book helped to deepen our shared purpose, values and principles. And clean up a bunch of bad habits! We are a stronger union and feel we can withstand together whatever life brings us.
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- Wahkeena Sitka
- 06-24-23
Stan's best work yet.
I honestly think that this book is the ultimate relationship manual for every single couple or partnership on the planet that wants to work through the challenges and difficulties. I am so impressed with this book. I'm definitely going to listen to it multiple times. there's so much wisdom and I feel like I have a better understanding of my own shortcomings in terms of intimate partnership relationships. The challenge is trying to create a relationship where two people are on board with this philosophy.
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- Shelly Lynott
- 06-21-23
A Blue-Print and Repair Manual for relationships
If all relationships started with this straightforward and clear understanding and agreement, they would experience less fear, hurt, betrayal, aggravation, and loss. I will continue recommending this to all my clients, family, and friends.
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