
Fight Right
How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
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Narrated by:
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Roy Worley
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Kiiri Sandy
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • LEARN THE 5 SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL COUPLES
Conflict is the top reason couples seek help—but it's also an opportunity for greater intimacy, deeper connection, and lasting love according to this essential guide from the world’s leading relationship scientists and authors of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and Eight Dates.
“An indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
Through decades of research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders of the world-famous Love Lab, have identified the five common mistakes we make when we are at odds. In Fight Right, we learn the five secrets that help us to get back on track and harness conflict to build stronger, healthier relationships. With kindness, clarity, and a deep understanding of the struggles couples are going through, the Gottmans show us that we each have a unique conflict culture, borne of how we were raised and how we experienced past relationships, and they take us through all the possible combinations, from Avoiders, to Validators, to Volatiles, and how they can best work together.
Fight Right is an essential resource that will help couples escape the win-or-lose mentality in favor of a collaborative approach: calming down, staying connected, and really understanding, so that our fights can bring us closer.
©2024 Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD and John Gottman, PhD (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Conflict is inevitable in any relationship—the trick is knowing how to handle it. Difficulty navigating conflict is one of the most common reasons that couples seek help from books and professionals. They're looking for guidance, but there is surprisingly little practical, accessible information out there. So who better than John and Julie Gottman to give couples the important tools they need? This book will be an indispensable resource that couples will use over and over again.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of the “Dear Therapists” podcast
"Couples need skills to fight better, and FIGHT RIGHT is the book that all couples will want to read. Dr. John and Julie Gottman have crafted a masterful guide about the importance of fighting and the skills needed to grow from having necessary disputes. The Gottmans have spent years studying and teaching couples, and in FIGHT RIGHT, they are teaching couples how to do it right."—Nedra Glover Tawwab, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
“In a relationship, your goal is to help your partner find their purpose. John and Julie Gottman, with their decades of experience working intimately with couples, know that the road to finding your purpose and fulfilling your dreams is often through conflict. If we don’t learn how to do conflict well, we’re going to be stuck, disconnected, and unfulfilled. Couples today really need clear, compassionate, and science-based guidance in this arena, and as the world’s leading love experts, the Gottmans are the trusted voice to guide them.”—Jay Shetty, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk
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The actual book The Art of War, not a commentary
- By Nemo71 on 12-31-19
By: Sun Tzu
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You Will Not Recognize Your Life
- By: Micaela Blei
- Narrated by: Micaela Blei
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s 2006. After a string of rejections from men who tell her they could never, ever, ever see her “that way,” awkward third-grade teacher Micaela Blei signs up for a mysterious course called “The Divine Feminine,” and feels like she might have found the key to the perfect life. Turns out if you’re an A student, you can get an A in anything–including men. Pretty soon she’s learning to "conjure" her desires with vision boards, flirtations, and even a daring jumbotron viewing party for her, ahem ... "divine center."
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Humor, Humanity, and the Heart of Self-Love
- By David on 12-12-24
By: Micaela Blei
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Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
- A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
- By: Lori Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 14 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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One day, Lori Gottlieb is a therapist who helps patients in her Los Angeles practice. The next, a crisis causes her world to come crashing down. Enter Wendell, the quirky but seasoned therapist in whose office she suddenly lands. With his balding head, cardigan, and khakis, he seems to have come straight from Therapist Central Casting. Yet he will turn out to be anything but.
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It was like a hallmark movie being waterboarded into my ears for 15 hours
- By Amazon Customer on 10-01-19
By: Lori Gottlieb
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The 6 Habits of Growth
- By: Brendon Burchard
- Narrated by: Brendon Burchard
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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The world’s leading high-performance coach and multiple New York Times best-selling author Brendon Burchard delivers the six habits of personal growth that will help you create the life of your dreams. Forged from Brendon Burchard’s personal experiences, data from his GrowthDay app, and his many years as a high-performance coach, The 6 Habits of Growth presents the tools you need to construct the life of your dreams.
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Don’t bother
- By B. Sharpe on 10-30-22
By: Brendon Burchard
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Deep Sleep Hypnosis: Fall Asleep Instantly and Sleep Well
- By: Jasmine Harris
- Narrated by: Allison Mason
- Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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A lack of quality sleep can hinder your alertness and quality of life while awake, as anyone with sleeping issues already knows. Suffering through sleepless nights does not have to be your reality. Instead you can fall asleep fast and get quality sleep tonight and every night. Hypnosis has been used for centuries to cure many ailments, including the inability to get better sleep. You can help yourself improve the quality of your life with hypnotherapy.
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put me right to sleep
- By Cassandra on 05-08-17
By: Jasmine Harris
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12 Months to $1 Million
- How to Pick a Winning Product, Build a Real Business, and Become a Seven-Figure Entrepreneur
- By: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Narrated by: Ryan Daniel Moran
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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By cutting out the noise and providing a clear and proven plan, this road map helps even brand-new entrepreneurs make decisions quickly, get their product up for sale, and launch it to a crowd that is ready and waiting to buy. This one-year plan will guide you through the three stages to your first $1 million: the Grind (months 0-4), the Growth (months 5-8), and the Gold (months 9-12). If your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur, get ready for one chaotic, stressful, and rewarding year. If you have the guts to complete it, you will be the proud owner of a million-dollar business.
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Good, but a Little Misleading
- By Chris Love on 11-28-20
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The Daily Stoic
- 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living
- By: Ryan Holiday, Stephen Hanselman
- Narrated by: Brian Holsopple
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Why have history's greatest minds - from George Washington to Frederick the Great to Ralph Waldo Emerson along with today's top performers, from Super Bowl-winning football coaches to CEOs and celebrities - embraced the wisdom of the ancient Stoics? Because they realize that the most valuable wisdom is timeless and that philosophy is for living a better life, not a classroom exercise. The Daily Stoic offers a daily devotional of Stoic insights and exercises, featuring all-new translations.
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Not well made as audio
- By Andreas on 12-27-16
By: Ryan Holiday, and others
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
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Buy in Print. Audiobook good only as refresher.
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
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not a good audiobook
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What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
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Helpful for neurotypicals
- By Audrey4791 on 01-19-23
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In prospective, long-term research with over 700 couples, Gottman has discovered certain factors that distinguish happy, stable couples from both unstable, ultimately divorcing couples and stable but unhappy couples. These findings, which are explained here in understandable, nontechnical language, form the basis of his Sound Marital House theory of marriage, which guides the new therapy. This therapy has two goals: changing the marital friendship and teaching couples to regulate conflict.
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Lots of new information.
- By DeMarus Perry on 01-30-25
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Technical version of his other book
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Navigating the challenges of long-term commitment takes effort - and it just got simpler, with this empowering, step-by-step guide to communicating about the things that matter most to you and your partner. Drawing on 40 years of research from their world-famous Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman invite couples on eight fun, easy, and profoundly rewarding dates, each one focused on a make-or-break issue: trust, conflict, sex, money, family, adventure, spirituality, and dreams.
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What the F. Robot-reader???!?!?!
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A five-step guide for building better connections with family, friends, and lovers, The Relationship Cure offers a simple but profound program that will fundamentally transform the quality of all the relationships in your life.
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Buy in Print. Audiobook good only as refresher.
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
-
-
not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
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Helpful for neurotypicals
- By Audrey4791 on 01-19-23
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Lots of new information.
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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
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In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90 percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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One of the basics
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Why Marriages Succeed or Fail
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Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage.
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Insightful and Easily Understood
- By Diane on 06-19-12
By: John M. Gottman
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10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy
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Overall
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In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world's leading couple researchers and therapists give listeners an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into 10 principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling.
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Excellent book!
- By Amazon Customer on 01-22-19
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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The New Marriage Clinic
- A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy Updated
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The highly influential book The Marriage Clinic presented a complete marital therapy program based on John Gottman's much-heralded research on marital success and failure. Since then, Dr. Gottman has collaborated with his wife, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Gottman, to conduct their well-known Love Lab studies, allowing the pair to design a highly successful couples' workshop and develop their Sound Relationship House theory.
By: John M. Gottman, and others
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
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Communicate Your Feelings (Without Starting a Fight)
- What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner
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- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Being in a relationship without knowing how to share your feelings and receive your partner’s feelings in useful ways is like jumping into a pool without knowing how to swim. You can flail around all you want, but it’s not going to keep you afloat for very long—you need to be able to move in any direction at will. Like swimming, knowing how to share your feelings and respond to your partner's feelings will move your relationship in the direction you want: toward more intimacy, closeness, connection, and trust.
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Marriage saving!
- By J Keegan on 02-07-23
By: Nic Saluppo
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Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage
- America's Love Lab Experts Share Their Strategies for Strengthening Your Relationship
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, Joan DeClaire
- Narrated by: L.J. Ganser, Anne Gartlan
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90-percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods.
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This book was a great tool!
- By Keonna Simpson on 07-12-17
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Secure Love
- Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
- By: Julie Menanno
- Narrated by: Julie Menanno
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What does a healthy relationship look like? A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like? The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships.
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I can fix myself.
- By Shirley on 09-27-24
By: Julie Menanno
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Hold Me Tight
- Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
- By: Dr. Sue Johnson EdD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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I Hear You
- The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
- By: Michael S. Sorensen
- Narrated by: Michael S. Sorensen
- Length: 2 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
What if making one tweak to your day-to-day conversations could immediately improve every relationship in your life? In this three-hour, conversational listen, you'll discover the whats, whys, and hows of one of the most valuable (yet surprisingly little-known) communication skills - validation.
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Life-Changing
- By katalley90 on 04-12-19
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And Baby Makes Three
- The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three, Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood.
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More couple's therapy than adapting with new baby.
- By Bridget on 08-19-17
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
What listeners say about Fight Right
Highly rated for:
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- Anomalyzer
- 02-18-24
Helpful and Digestible
Thank you for making this accessible and putting it together. The book was helpful and digestible.
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- Lori Ealey
- 04-16-24
Great for marriage
Really made me aware of fighting habits we have today and gave good ideas for approaching differently.
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- Robert Gilstrap
- 05-27-24
Every couple should read this!
I have read quite a few of the Gottman's books. This one hit home as a practical and applicable guide for all couples, at every stage in a relationship. I can't imagine the hours, days, and months we could reclaim by knowing how to work through conflict instead of wallowing in our self-pity or self-righteousness. I am excited to take this book into practice.
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- Alduan Tartt, PhD
- 06-08-24
Awesome
Gave tools for fighting correctly to build vs hurt marriage which is awesome for couples for real
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- Anonymous User
- 08-02-24
True Change!
The Gottmans offer a path for true Change in relationships! This goes far beyond talking. Their methods are based in decades of research.
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- Overwick
- 12-26-24
Very helpful for couples
Definitely worth Listen has lots of data and stories for any listener to learn and grow from
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- Ariel Ash-shakoor
- 12-05-24
I wish I read it 10 years ago
This book was an amazing guide to navigating a difficult topic that I thought could never be resolved. Thank you for giving me hope that I can make it in relationships.
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- Kellie F.
- 02-28-24
No PDF's come with the book!
While the book was good and informative, other books come with the PDF's to download. This did not. So now I have to purchase the book in print too, to get the rest of the information. Bummer! Just buy the book!
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3 people found this helpful
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- zulu1yankee2
- 02-17-24
50 years of Psychology Couple’s Research
This book is a MUST for every couple in the World!!!
A true milestone in couples psychology backed by 50 years of ongoing research.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Nicole Luttrell
- 03-05-24
Fight Rught
Beneficial to anyone with an open mind.
Well documented, well laied-out, and well read.
The narrative goes between a female voice and a male voice, leaving the listener open to multiple perspectives.
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