
The Disengaged Teen
Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better
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Narrated by:
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Jenny Anderson
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Rebecca Winthrop
About this listen
“Our education systems are shortchanging far too many teenagers. This book is brimming with insights on how to change that. It’s an engaging, evidence-based, and practical read about how to develop a generation of lifelong learners.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Potential and Think Again, and host of the podcast Re:Thinking
A powerful toolkit for parents of both checked-out and stressed-out teens that shows exactly what to do (and stop doing) to support their academic and emotional flourishing.
Adolescents are hardwired to explore and grow, and learning is mainly how they do this. But a shocking majority of teens are disengaged from school, simultaneously bored and overwhelmed. This is feeding an alarming teen mental health crisis. As kids get older and more independent, parents often feel powerless to help. But fear not, there are evidence-backed strategies to guide them from disengagement to drive, in and out of school.
For the past five years, award-winning journalist Jenny Anderson and the Brookings Institution’s global education expert Rebecca Winthrop have been investigating why so many children lose their love of learning in adolescence. Now, weaving extensive original research with real-world stories of kids who transformed their relationships with learning, they identify four modes of learning that students use to navigate through the shifting academic demands and social dynamics of middle and high school, shaping the internal narratives about their skills, potential, and identity:
• Resister. When kids resist, they struggle silently with profound feelings of inadequacy or invisibility, which they communicate by ignoring homework, playing sick, skipping class, or acting out.
• Passenger. When kids coast along, consistently doing the bare minimum and complaining that classes are pointless. They need help connecting school to their skills, interests, or learning needs.
• Achiever. When kids show up, do the work, and get consistently high grades, their self-worth can become tied to high performance. Their disengagement is invisible, fueling a fear of failure and putting them at risk for mental health challenges.
• Explorer. When kids are driven by internal curiosity rather than just external expectations, they investigate the questions they care about and persist to achieve their goals.
Understanding your child’s learning modes is vital for nurturing their ability to become Explorers. Anderson and Winthrop outline simple yet counterintuitive parenting strategies for connecting with your child, tailoring your listening and communication styles to their needs, igniting their curiosity, and building self-awareness and emotional regulation.
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Critic reviews
“Every parent of a checked out, overwhelmed, or frustrated middle or high-school student needs to read this book.”—Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better
“Our education systems are shortchanging far too many teenagers. This book is brimming with insights on how to change that. It’s an engaging, evidence-based, and practical read about how to develop a generation of lifelong learners.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Potential and Think Again, and host of the podcast Re:Thinking
“[The Disengaged Teen] is an empathetic look at how modern teens get lost and a practical guide to helping them get found.”—Scott Galloway, Professor of Marketing, NYU Stern, Host of the Prof G Pod and Cohost of the Pivot Podcast
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Story
A generation gap has emerged between parents and their girls. Even in this age of helicopter parenting, the mothers and fathers of tomorrow's women have little idea what their daughters are up to sexually or how they feel about it. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over 70 young women and a wide range of psychologists, academics, and experts, renowned journalist Peggy Orenstein goes where most others fear to tread, pulling back the curtain on the hidden truths, hard lessons, and important possibilities of girls' sex lives in the modern world.
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Must read for anyone who has a daughter
- By Erin on 04-01-16
By: Peggy Orenstein
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Untethered
- Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation
- By: Doug Bolton PhD
- Narrated by: Doug Bolton Ph.D.
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Over the past decade, children’s mental health challenges have reached epidemic levels—stress, anxiety, childhood depression, and suicide are at unprecedented high rates. Amid high-stakes pressure for kids to succeed, parents and teachers have never needed a road map to healthy child development more urgently. And as psychologist and educator Doug Bolton explains in this eye-opening guide, underlying our modern-day stresses is an even more pervasive problem: We’re relying on practices that are not in line with what science tells us about how to truly motivate children and help them thrive.
By: Doug Bolton PhD
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The Emotional Lives of Teenagers
- Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents
- By: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In teenagers, powerful emotions come with the territory. And with so many of today’s teens contending with academic pressure, social media stress, worries about the future, and concerns about their own mental health, it’s easy for them—and their parents—to feel anxious and overwhelmed. But it doesn’t have to be that way. With clear, research-informed explanations alongside illuminating, real-life examples, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers gives parents the information they need to steady their teens through the bumpy yet transformational journey into adulthood.
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Only at introduction and…
- By Amy on 02-21-23
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Mindmasters (Anna Caputo version)
- The Data-Driven Science of Predicting and Changing Human Behavior
- By: Sandra Matz
- Narrated by: Anna Caputo
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Columbia Business School professor Sandra Matz reveals in fascinating detail how big data offers insights into the most intimate aspects of our psyches and how these insights empower an external influence over the choices we make. This can be creepy, manipulative, and downright harmful, with scandals like that of British consulting firm Cambridge Analytica being merely the tip of the iceberg.
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An Important book!! Very well written!! Empowering!
- By onili on 02-03-25
By: Sandra Matz
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This Is So Awkward
- Modern Puberty Explained
- By: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Narrated by: Cara Natterson MD, Vanessa Kroll Bennett
- Length: 13 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Almost everything about puberty has changed since today's adults went through it. Bewildered adults have begged for reliable and relatable information about the modern adolescent experience. This Is So Awkward answers their call. Written by a pediatrician and a puberty educator—together the hosts of a lively and popular podcast on puberty, and moms to six teens between them—this is the handbook everyone has been searching for. Eye-opening and reassuring, This Is So Awkward will help adults understand the turbulent pubescent decade and become confident guides for today’s kids.
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Text book reading for understanding your kids
- By Leap4 on 09-23-24
By: Cara Natterson MD, and others
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Tidy Up Your Life
- Rethinking How to Organize, Declutter, and Make Space for What Matters Most
- By: Tyler Moore
- Narrated by: Tyler Moore
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Tyler Moore felt his life resembled an overstuffed closet: disorganized and overly busy behind tidy, closed doors. When it all became too much—for his family's 750-square-foot apartment and his mental health—he set out to unpack the physical and emotional mess around him. Chronicling his progress as “Tidy Dad” on Instagram, Moore learned that tidying is about so much more than the aesthetics and decluttering of a physical space. When he stepped back, reflected, and named what was "just enough," he was able to devise systems and hacks that brought order to his whole life.
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A gentle, calm ASMR of a read!
- By G. Jurczyk on 03-15-25
By: Tyler Moore
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The Purpose Code
- How to Unlock Meaning, Maximize Happiness, and Leave a Lasting Legacy
- By: Jordan Grumet
- Narrated by: Jordan Grumet
- Length: 5 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Worried about purpose? Most people are. But no one has to be. Brené Brown meets Malcolm Gladwell in this ground-breaking self-improvement book that reveals how to make a mark and how to set goals in life without falling into the anxiety traps of conventional success principles books. The ultimate in purpose anxiety relief, and a map for anyone to find happiness.
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Love the approach!
- By WharfRat on 01-21-25
By: Jordan Grumet
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Parent Yourself First
- Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids by Becoming the Parent You Wish You'd Had
- By: Bryana Kappadakunnel
- Narrated by: Bryana Kappadakunnel
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Many of us didn’t have a perfect childhood. But it’s never too late (or too early!) to transform into the parent you were always meant to be—grounded, present, intentional, compassionate, and confident. In Parent Yourself First, licensed marriage and family therapist Bryana Kappadakunnel argues that the secret to successful parenting is to UN-learn the wounded patterns you grew up with and create new ways to connect with your child.
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My bedside Bible
- By Katherine Moge on 04-18-25
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The Power Pause
- How to Plan a Career Break After Kids—and Come Back Stronger Than Ever
- By: Neha Ruch
- Narrated by: Neha Ruch
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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"So, what do you do?" When Neha Ruch had to answer this seemingly innocent question for the first time after leaving her corporate job to care for her infant son, she drew a shameful blank. She couldn’t find the words to describe this new stage of life she’d just embarked on. How, then, was she to navigate this identity shift? Frustrated, Ruch embarked on a mission to rebrand the stay-at-home mother for a new generation of women who don’t want to leave their ambition behind just because they decide to pause or change their careers post-kids.
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Great read for SAHMs or those contemplating the transition!
- By Aaron Modic on 04-09-25
By: Neha Ruch
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Brainstorm
- The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D.
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Between the ages of twelve and twenty-four, the brain changes in important and, at times, challenging ways. In Brainstorm, the renowned psychiatrist and bestselling author of Parenting from the Inside Out, The Whole-Brain Child, and Mindsight, Daniel Siegel busts a number of commonly held myths about adolescence — for example, that it is merely a stage of “immaturity” filled with often “crazy” behavior — to reveal how it is in fact a vital time in our lives in terms of charting the course for the adults we ultimately become.
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Narration for kindergarteners...
- By Kalutha on 03-28-14
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Untangled
- Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood
- By: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Lisa Damour, PhD, director of the internationally renowned Laurel School's Center for Research on Girls, pulls back the curtain on the teenage years and shows why your daughter's erratic and confusing behavior is actually healthy, necessary, and natural. Untangled explains what's going on, prepares parents for what's to come, and lets them know when it's time to worry.
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I was “forced” to read this book!
- By Jenna U. on 07-15-19
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Smart but Scattered Teens
- The "Executive Skills" Program for Helping Teens Reach Their Potential
- By: Richard Guare PhD, Peg Dawson EdD, Colin Guare
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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If you're the parent of a "smart but scattered" teen, trying to help him or her grow into a self-sufficient, responsible adult may feel like a never-ending battle. Now you have an alternative to micromanaging, cajoling, or ineffective punishments. This positive guide provides a science-based program for promoting teens' independence by building their executive skills - the fundamental brain-based abilities needed to get organized, stay focused, and control impulses and emotions.
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Buy the Book
- By Kimberly Bowman on 12-07-16
By: Richard Guare PhD, and others
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Never Enough
- When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic—and What We Can Do About It
- By: Jennifer Breheny Wallace
- Narrated by: Jennifer Breheny Wallace
- Length: 8 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In the ever more competitive race to secure the best possible future, today’s students face unprecedented pressure to succeed. They jam-pack their schedules with AP classes, fill every waking hour with resume-padding activities, and even sabotage relationships with friends to “get ahead.” Family incomes and schedules are stretched to the breaking point by tutoring fees and athletic schedules. Yet this drive to optimize performance has only resulted in skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and even self-harm in America’s highest achieving schools.
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If you live or work in one of these communities, you will see yourself
- By Paula on 09-04-23
What listeners say about The Disengaged Teen
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Sarah M.
- 03-18-25
Hard conversations made easier!
Parents, teachers, mentors, coaches...everyone needs to read this book! It will help you understand your teen in new ways and give you the tools to get through tough parenting moments.
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